After a time, Harry realized that he was not going to hear anything. Dumbledore’s door must have been spelled so that it was soundproof. Not surprising really, considering all the top secret events and discussions that went on in there. But it still frustrated the teenager to no end. He wanted to know what was going on in there. He wanted to know what was going on with his father. The boy had never seen the Potions Master lose it quite so badly before. It was terrifying. Sure, Snape had lost a little control with his magic at the Dursleys, but that had been a single, relatively harmless surge of magic that was easily fixed. This business with Sirius, however…
Glaring daggers at the door, Harry decided that there was nothing else for him to really do except maybe go down to the dorms, like he had been told to do. And although he really wanted to know what was going on, Harry did not want to still be around when either Snape or Dumbledore came out. No doubt they were not having very polite words at the moment, if their disastrous tempers were anything to go by.
Sighing, the boy abandoned his task, but did not go to the dorms. Instead, he went to Professor McGonagall’s office instead. He did not really know why, but he really did not want to go to the dorms just yet and sit in a room with a roommate that hated his guts. He just really wanted to get away from everyone and everything. He was confused, and he hoped that things wouldn’t change yet again in the morning.
When he knocked on the office door, Harry suddenly became very nervous. What was he going to say? Was he really just going to ask for his former Head of House to escort him back down into the dungeons? Or was he going to just stand there and look stupid?
The door open shortly after and Professor McGonagall appeared. She looked a little surprised to see Harry there, but she stepped aside. “Mr. Potter! Come in.”
Harry did so, and stood waiting until his teacher sat down once again. “My goodness, Harry! You look terrible! What’s wrong, lad?” Minerva was up again and helping her former student sit in his seat.
“I’m fine, ma’am,” Harry tried to smile, but he was still too troubled to do so.
“You’re white,” Professor McGonagall frowned, her lips forming a thin line. “Is something the matter? What did the Headmaster tell you?”
When he knew that McGonagall knew of the meeting, Harry let some of his false strength fade and his shoulders slumped down. He was tired and he didn’t think he could lie anymore tonight. After what he had seen, he was still too worried to think too clearly. “I guess you heard about that, huh?”
Minerva looked at the boy before her with pity. She knew that the child was being spread thin nowadays. The Headmaster asked a lot of the boy, which she did not approve of, and it was starting to show. And of all people, Severus seemed to have taken a keen interest in the boy the last several months, which had surprised the witch slightly, but also discouraged her too. If Severus could see past the boy’s parentage and become concerned for him while Albus, who claimed to love the boy, could not, what chance did Harry have? Dumbledore would continue on with his “plans”, like always.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked gently, hoping that the boy really would open up to her.
Sitting a moment in uncomfortable uncertainty, Harry debated whether telling his Transfiguration teacher or not. His father always seemed to trust Professor McGonagall, why shouldn’t he? “Sirius came,” he said gently.
Just those two words had the witch a bit paler than before. “While Professor Snape was there?” she asked, knowing the answer, but still having to ask the question.
“Yeah,” Harry’s eyes fell. “It…was really bad.”
The Head of Gryffindor nodded knowingly. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
Staying silent for a moment, Harry thought through the events fully and what he had seen. “Sirius accused Professor Snape of killing my…parents,” he said after a moment. “Said that it was because of Professor Snape that Voldemort found them and killed them.”
Minerva flinched slightly at the name, but forced herself to stay calm. She had known both Sirius and Severus since they were students at Hogwarts, and she knew of their hated past. But even though she could sympathize with Sirius, who had been imprisoned for years for a crime that he had not committed, she somehow found herself more concerned with Severus at the moment.
Looking back on in, Minerva still remembered the first day she had met Severus as a colleague; only twenty-one years old and looking like he’d gone through hell. But the young man had been determined in everything; wanting to prove himself and afraid to fail. He had not changed too much from when he had been a child. She remembered when she found out that he had been a Death Eater. She had been horrified, angry, and confused. But then she also remembered the day he had broken down, cried like a child, claiming that the fault was indeed his that the Potter’s died, even after Albus had explained that the fault was not Severus’s and had explained Severus’s dangerous position as a spy.
Since then Minerva had never seen Severus cry. Not once in thirteen years, not even when she had seen him in the hospital wing after being tortured at a Death Eater meeting from Lucius Malfoy or from a potions accident from one of the students. Minerva knew that Severus still tortured himself with guilt, and it was because of this that she could guess what happened when he heard Sirius accuse him of the crime he believed himself guilty of.
“What happened?” she asked anyway, knowing that Harry needed to speak.
“He…Professor Snape tired…to strangle Sirius,” he said, his green eyes a bit haunted.
“Merlin,” Minerva muttered under her breath, no loud enough for Harry to hear. “And…what did Sirius do?”
Harry looked up with a frown, and Minerva knew instantly that she must have misunderstood something. “Professor Snape choked him,” the boy said, his voice shaking slightly. “He just…grabbed Sirius around the throat and started screaming at him.”
Minerva’s eyes widened a bit. Severus had really strangled Sirius? Although she knew Severus perfectly capable of such an act if angry enough, she simply could not believe that Sirius had not been quick enough to escape the attack or that Severus had allowed his control to slip so much. But looking over Harry, McGonagall could tell that the boy was deeply distressed by this news, and had an idea of what the boy must be thinking.
“Harry,” she said softly. “I know that what you must have seen was not…pleasant to witness, but I want you to know that you should not be afraid of Professor Snape.”
“He strangled Sirius until he almost passed out!” the boy exclaimed.
Holding up her hands, Minerva tried to calm the boy. “I know. But you must understand that what your godfather said to Professor Snape was completely out of line, and although I am not justifying or condoning Professor Snape’s reaction, I am merely trying to help you understand his reasons behind it. Professor Snape is not the reason your parents died, Harry,” Minerva said seriously.
“I know,” Harry said in a small voice. “Professor Dumbledore even said that.”
“Good,” Minerva nodded. “But I want you to understand that even though Professor Snape has a rather…harsh temper, he would never try to harm you, Harry.” When Harry looked about ready to say something else, Minerva held up her hands. “I know that you must think differently now, considering that you and Professor Snape have not gotten along well in the past, but believe me, Harry, Severus would not harm you. He would die to protect his students. Even you.”
Listening to his former Head of House, Harry had to stop and think through everything he had been told. Of course he knew Severus would not harm him, Harry was his son! But no one else knew that. And even though he knew Professor McGonagall was trying to be comforting, this was not what was troubling Harry the most. He was troubled by the fact that his father just tried to kill his godfather-who he just found out was no longer his godfather- and that Dumbledore had blasted his father across the room where he laid unconscious when Harry had left!
“But he hurt Sirius!” Harry blurted out, tears in his eyes. “And then Professor Dumbledore went and hurt Professor Snape!”
At this news, Minerva’s jaw did drop a little. It was one thing for Sirius and Severus to fight in front of the boys- those two were quite immature, holding on to old grudges, but for Albus to get involved and to physically harm someone, a professor no less, in front of Harry was too much. “What?” was the only thing she managed to say though. She was still too shocked.
“Professor Dumbledore blasted Professor Snape across the room to make him let go of Sirius and then Snape just…crumpled to the ground…I think he was bleeding…” the tears wanted to burst free from Harry’s eyes, but he refused to let them.
Hearing this, Minerva thought that she might just explode with anger as well. So Harry was not just afraid of Severus, he was also concerned for him as well. And why should the boy not be? Severus had been the one that had taken Harry away from his awful, abusive family while Albus had been the one to take him back there, and Severus had been the one that had made plans to keep Harry safe while in Slytherin. Even with their terrible past, Minerva could see why Harry would be concerned for his new Head of House and angry with Dumbledore. It became apparent that the boy was just very confused at the moment, and Minerva could not help but feel for the boy.
“Come, Harry,” she said as she got up from her desk. “You must be tired. Let’s go to your dorm.”
“But what about-!” Harry started.
“I’ll go speak to Professors Dumbledore and Snape,” she assured him. “Right now I think you should get some sleep. You’ve had a long first day, and I’m sure you’re tired.”
“But-”
“I’ll straighten things out, all right, Harry? You don’t worry about anything. Just remember that Professor Snape will not harm you, Sirius still loves you, and Headmaster Dumbledore is only trying to look out for your best interest.”
Walking out of the office with Professor McGonagall, Harry could not help but wonder if he had just made things worse.
*******
After making sure Harry got to his room safely, Minerva charged to the Headmaster’s office, her fury in full mode. Even though Harry was technically no longer her student, Minerva still felt protective of the young Potter. She was like a lioness protecting her young and she wanted to be at her angriest when she saw Albus. Hopefully Severus would be there too to catch some of her tirade.
When she swung open the doors to the Headmaster’s office, she saw Albus sitting at his desk, tears in his eyes, alone. But she was far too angry on Harry’s behalf to even consider being compassionate to the old wizard. “Albus, how could you?” she hissed. “How could you bring Sirius Black to a meeting that Severus was at outside of an Order meeting? How could you just let those two argue until one was stupid enough to set the other one off? And then to hurt Severus while Harry was in the room!” she was practically shouting by then.
“Sit down, Minerva,” Dumbledore said tiredly.
“Albus, do you not understand how badly you’ve not only scared Harry, confused him?” McGonagall growled. “He came into my office white as a sheet and very shaken!”
“I should imagine,” the Headmaster said evenly. “Things got a little bit…rougher than I had imagined.”
“And that’s all you’re going to say about that? It got ‘rougher’ than you’d thought?” Minerva was outraged. “Merlin, Albus! Did you not even stop to consider how Sirius would react to Severus being there right after he just found out his godson was alive? You know as much as I do that Sirius thought that Severus kidnapped Harry and gave him over to the Death Eaters! And even after that, you still thought it would be all right to have Severus standing by when Sirius came?”
“Minerva, please calm down,” the Headmaster snapped. “You have yet to know the fine details of the situation.”
At this, the Transfigurations professor snorted, not caring that it was unladylike. “‘Fine details’ you say,” she scoffed. “Don’t give me that, Albus. You should have planned things out better and controlled yourself in front of Harry. Merlin! You attacked Severus!”
“After he attacked Sirius!” Albus exclaimed desperately.
“And I will be having words with him next,” she acknowledged, “But you should have known better than to hurt Severus in front of the boy. Harry seems to have gotten a different opinion of Severus since last year, ever since the summer, and you know it!”
“I know that, Minerva, I don’t need you to tell me,” Dumbledore snapped.
Balling up her fist in frustration, McGonagall thought that she might explode with anger. Now she really could say that she knew what Severus was talking about when he said that at times he thought he wanted to kill the Headmaster. The man was being positively infuriating and Minerva found that she had little tolerance or sympathy for him right then.
“Then you should have been smart enough to control yourself and Sirius,” Minerva growled back, attempting to keep herself under control.
“And you would place all the blame with Sirius and myself alone?” the Headmaster raised a mocking eyebrow. “Even though you yourself know Severus’s temper?”
“I do know what Severus is capable of when he’s angry,” the witch raised her chin in an effort to show her employer that she was not weak and to show she was not fazed by the slight insult. “But I also know that he is capable of controlling himself better than most people under strenuous situations if there are others there that he knows will support him. Obviously he did not feel that you could handle the situation properly. And I can imagine you let Sirius wag his tongue all over the place-”
“You do not even know what was said,” Albus scowled.
“I do,” Minerva scowled right back. “You stood by and let Sirius accuse Severus of murdering the Potter, and right before Harry too! And then you obviously couldn’t control things when Severus attacked, and so you hurt him instead!”
Albus stood up from his chair and lean forward towards the witch. He knew she was right, but he could not stand to be faced with anymore guilt at the moment. “I could not have control Severus, even if I had never invited Sirius here,” he admitted, tired of hiding the one secret he regretted perhaps the most. “The moment Severus brought Harry to me this past summer, wanting me to place him with the Weasleys or somewhere else, I was no longer able to control him.”
“You sound as though that’s a bad thing,” Minerva sneered. “You know what I’ve always thought about your manipulating him. He’s a good man, and he didn’t- doesn’t need you always making up his mind for him.”
Sighing wearily, Albus plopped down in his chair. “Please sit, Minerva. I need to tell you a little story.”
When McGonagall relented and sat down, Dumbledore began telling her the story of how Severus and Lily had gotten married and how he split them apart forever. He did this to first explain the Potions Master’s suddenly rebellious and resentful attitude to the Headmaster and second to relieve his own conscience. And even though his mind and heart began to fell lighter as he brought forth his sin, he could not help but despair over Minerva’s apparent repulsion and disgust.
After he had finished, ending with the events of that evening, and how horrified he had been to have seen the other wizard in just about the exact same situation as the last time, Albus became silent and waited for Minerva’s judgment. He knew it was not going to be good, as her face had lost a bit of color and her lips thin. But at last she did speak. “Because of a prophecy?” she asked quietly.
“Yes,” Albus nodded.
Minerva’s face twisted into abhorrence. “You ruined Severus’s happiness and Lily’s life just because of a prophecy?”
“You don’t understand, Minerva,” Albus was quick on his defense. “I know you don’t put a lot of faith into Trelawney’s predictions or divinations, but Severus can-”
“I don’t really believe any of that,” McGonagall scowled, not letting the Headmaster finish his statement. “Or at least I wouldn’t put my absolute faith in one. Merlin, Albus, you’re controlling people’s lives on the bases of prophecies and predictions! You may be the most powerful wizard of the age, but you cannot control people like this!”
“I’m doing it for the good of-”
“No, you’re trying to play ultimate hero!” Minerva stood up and walked towards the door. “I’m not really surprised Severus snapped,” she said in the doorway. “I will not tell anyone about this as I don’t think Severus would want me to tell, but if you’re expecting me to talk to him and get him to forgive you, I would have to say that you’re wrong. He has every right in the world to be angry with you, and I don’t blame him. Good night, Albus. I hope you’ll re-think what you’re next move is going to be.”
And with that, Professor McGonagall left the Headmaster’s office, not caring much if she was too harsh. For once in her life, Minerva thought she understood things all just a little bit better now; Severus’s hopeless bitterness and resentment to the world, all the damn plots Albus came up with… She had stayed quiet a lot when the Headmaster planned, but after the summer events with Harry, and after finding out what he had done to Lily and Severus, Minerva decided that perhaps it was time to really exhort her authority as Deputy Headmistress more, to try to balance out Dumbledore’s power over the school. After all, it was her job to look after all the students too, and Harry would need her this year, she just knew it.
*******
Once out of the Headmaster’s office, Severus stormed his way to his classroom, stumbling and feeling lightheaded. Once inside, he went to his office and Flooed the rest of the way to his chambers. It actually saved him about ten minutes of walking since his quarters were a long way down in the dungeons. No one except the Headmaster, Hagrid, and himself knew where his quarters were, but that was how Severus liked it.
Once out of the fireplace, feeling even sicker than before, Severus went immediately into the bathroom. He got out another mirror and then turned to look at the back of his head. It was still bleeding, but it was starting to dry. Taking out his wand, he cleaned the wound and looked it over again. He turned around to look at his eyes in the bigger mirror and inspected his eyes closely. His response was a bit sluggish and from the ringing in his ears, he knew that he had a concussion.
Opening his medicine cabinet, Severus took out a potion and read the label several time to make sure he had gotten the right potion before drinking it down. He had had many concussions in the past, from his childhood through his adulthood, and always had this particular potion at hand. After that was done, he had just enough energy left to close the wound and walk to his bedroom.
Falling onto his bed, Severus stretched out and closed his eyes. The ringing in his ears was starting to lessen, but he still felt extremely ill. His mind wandered back to his discussion with the Headmaster. It was not that he could not believe he yelled at the old man, it was what he had yelled. Of all the things he could have said, he had admitted to remembering being married to Lily. Why had he done that? That had been very stupid. And Merlin, he had strangled Black! In front of Harry!
Harry! Sitting up quickly, Severus thought for a moment he might throw up, but he managed to fight down his nausea. What had happened to Harry? Was the boy safe? What had Albus done with the child? Had he simply sent him off to the dorms or had Black taken the boy?
No, even Albus admitted that Black had no rights over the boy. But what then? There was not much the Headmaster could have done with the boy other than send him to his rooms. But then one never knew with the old bastard.
Sighing, Severus got up and walked to the living room. Feeling like shit, he threw in more Floo powder and went to his office in the Slytherin dorms. He walked out to find that there were only a few students still sitting out, looking like they were finishing homework, one of them happened to be Miss Everard.When the Slytherin prefect saw her Head of House, she jumped up and walked over to him. “Sir?” she asked. “Sir, is something the matter?” she asked, though she was certain to keep too much panic from her voice. “Professor McGonagall was down here a little while ago and brought Potter he-”“Potter is here then?” he cut off the girl, staring at her intently.
“Yes, sir,” Everard nodded carefully. “Is there something going on?”
“Nothing more than usual,” Severus looked around the dorm with a critical eye. The students that were there turned to look away once the noticed that Snape was looking at them. “But remember what I said,” he lowered his voice so that only his prefect could hear him. “This year will not be going normally due to this Tirwizard Tournament, and because Potter is in this House. Just keep the muggle-borns and the half-bloods quiet, like usual, and things should be relatively peaceful.”
“But sir,” Miss Everard spoke up, looking nervous. “I heard from…well from some of the others that you’re not a…a You-Know-Who supporter.”
“And?” Severus growled, in no mood to be talking, let alone talking about this.
He could tell that the girl was relieved as well as frightened by the answer, but stiffened her lip. “Well, I’m concerned about you, sir,” the witch admitted. “I’ve heard some nasty things said about you.”
“Just keep silent or play along if you must,” Severus said quietly. “But I still want reports, if you’re able to get them.”
“Yes, sir,” Everard nodded. “Let me know if I can do anything else, sir.”
Nodding, Severus almost regretted the action, as for a moment he thought he might throw up on one of his favorite students, but he got lucky and managed to swallow everything down. He turned and went back the way he came and soon fell into bed and closed his eyes. He did not worry too much about grading at the moment as he was sure he needed some sleep. He had had precious little the night before, and Harry was safe, not to mention the rest of his brood. He was just lucky he had prefects like Miss Everard to look after the non-pure blood children without prejudice.
Letting his mind wander, Severus fell into an uneasy sleep, dreaming the horrible memory of the night he had lost his Lily…
*******
In the Slytherin dorms, Harry laid awake, unable to go to sleep. He had finished his homework. Draco had taken over the bathroom for about an hour or so before Harry was able to get ready for bed. But he did not feel like sleeping. His mind kept playing the events of the evening and the night before over and over again. It all seemed like some kind of bad joke that was being played on him. None of it seemed fair. Why couldn't anything be normal in his life?
As he tried to sleep, every time he closed his eyes he would either see his father strangling Sirius or see his father laying on the ground bleeding. It was terrible. And all Harry could do was worry about his father and about Sirius. He could not help but feel a little betrayed by both Sirius and his father for what they had done.
Rolling over on his side, Harry just hoped that things would look brighter in the morning. Heaven knew it couldn’t get any worse than what that day had been!