August 31, 1994
Harry paced around his room anxiously. The rest of his summer had consisted of reading his school books, writing- and rewriting- his essays until they were Snape perfect, and helping with potions- which he had found surprisingly interesting, keeping Mrs. Cadogan company and wondering what his friends were thinking. Although his father had said that they would try to think of a way to reveal Harry to Ron and Hermione, every time they did think of one thing, the Potions Master immediately discarded plot after plot saying that each plan was much too dangerous or too ill thought through. It was the first time Harry could ever remember his professor looking so…uncertain.
Sighing overdramatically, Harry plopped down on his bed and closed his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be packing?”
The quiet question startled the boy so bad that he nearly jumped off his bed. After he calmed his racing heart a moment, he spun around to see a smirking Severus Snape leaning in the doorframe. “Don’t do that!” Harry glared at the older man viciously. “You’ll give me a heart-attack.”
“Old habits,” Severus did not apologize. “Have you finished packing up your belongings?” he asked, coming in to sit next to his son.
Harry continued to glare at the other wizard. “Seriously, you scared the wits out of me,” he went on, ignoring the question in pursuit of being annoying. It was fun sometimes, and he thought his father deserved it in this case.
“My one passion in life: to scare children,” Severus said drawly, rolling his eyes. “But I did ask a question,” he fixed his son a hard stare. He refused to repeat himself and have the boy win out in this.
Knowing when the battle was lost, the younger Snape sighed again. “Yeah, I’ve just about got everything.”
“‘Just about’?” Severus frowned, raising an ominous eyebrow.
“Yeah, well, I still need some of my clothes out, you know,” Harry looked over at his trunk that was still open with clothes sticking out here and there, and books thrown in carelessly. He winced as he looked at it.
“Do you?” Severus, again, quirked an eyebrow at this. Harry was starting to get annoyed himself now.
“Yes!” Harry shot back defensively and embarrassedly. It was only after his outburst and seeing his father smirk again did Harry realize that the Potions Master had actually been teasing him. “Oh,” he said quietly.
Unable to get the grin off his face, Severus had to look forward lest he laugh in the boy’s face. Harry was far too easy to get riled up…But then, he had not been too much better than the boy at this particular age. He had let James Potter and Black get him so mad he couldn’t see straight. But that had been in another time and another place. If there was one thing Severus was glad of, it was that his son was not experiencing the same difficulties with peers that he himself had had as a boy. There was Draco Malfoy, but that was different…
“Very well,” Severus nodded, the barest hint of a smirk still lingering on his lips. “But you had better be all packed up for tomorrow. I plan on waking you up early. And I will not wait around for you to finish your packing.”
“Are you all packed?” Harry asked moodily.
Of all the times when he found out that he had a son, why did it have to be when the boy was in his puberty stages? Severus thought he would have liked to have had the option of getting Harry when he was about eighteen or older. Preferably older. But no, he had to get a child that was just barely fourteen and full of attitude and sarcasm…well, actually Harry was not all that sarcastic, compared to what his father actually was. Thank Merlin for that! Severus nearly groaned at the thought of having to raise a boy that had been as mouthy as he had been.
“As a matter of fact, I am all packed,” Severus merely nodded, not wanting his son to know how much his attitude was wearing down his nerves. If one kept calm in front of students and did not let on emotions, then the annoying little buggers had nothing to feed on and would give in easier. “But there are a few things I think we need to go over before tomorrow actually comes.”
Here, Harry straightened up and looked into his father’s face. Severus had gotten use to people not being able to look him in the eyes. There were only a hand full that he could remember ever looking at him straight in the eyes, and those were his parents, the Dark Lord, Dumbledore, and Lily. The only one he had ever liked to look at him had been Lily, but he had had to put up with the others as well.
“Do you know your story?” Severus asked as though he was some sort of military officer. “What will you tell your friends? What will you tell Dumbledore?”
“That after Dumbledore dropped me back at the house this summer, after I had gone with you, I decided that since my family was leaving, and I was alone, I’d run away,” Harry recited faithfully.
“And?” his father frowned, his eyebrow raised. Severus wanted Harry to be believable. He planned to be present when Dumbledore interrogated his son, but he still wanted Harry to be able to hold his own against that Headmaster.
“And when I was running away, I realized that I didn’t really know where to go. When I got into to town I was picked up by some officers that took me to an orphanage where I stayed the rest of the summer before I was able to get out and come to the train station.”
“And how did your trunk get so small? You aren’t allowed to use magic,” Severus said the obvious.
“There was a shrinking potion in with the other ones that the Headmaster gave to me. I didn’t think that it was against the rules since the potion was already made, and I was desperate,” Harry came back.
“How were you able to find a way to the station? It is too far to walk.”
“When I went into the streets, I got a taxi cab,” Harry smiled at the other man arrogantly.
“Where’d you get the Muggle money?” Severus shot back, still not liking the boy’s attitude. Brat.“Saved it up,” Harry grinned at his father.
Nodding, Severus looked at his son. “I think,” he said slowly, “that we might be able to pull this off with the Headmaster. Just as long as I’m in the room as well. You’re on your own with your friends. But keep your story straight,” Severus warned. “No adding in or leaving anything out. Say it exactly as we have rehearsed. There is no room for mistakes here, Harry.”
“I understand,” the boy nodded.
“Do you?” the older wizard frowned. “I mean it, Harry. You’re walking on the edge of a knife. One mistake and there will be no going back. Once it’s done, it’s done. And I prefer to remember you, Harry,” the Potions Master hoped the seriousness of the situation was enough to encourage his son to be careful. He never quite knew when the Gryffindor impulsiveness would strike, though Harry had been surprisingly well behaved this summer.
“I know,” Harry looked grimmer.
Satisfied that the boy wasn’t going to do anything too stupid, Severus nodded again. “Very well,” he relented. “Come now, it’s time for you to read.”
Hopping off the bed, Harry followed his father out of his room and into the parlor, where he sat down and grabbed a book that his father had let him borrow. It was quite good actually. It was a story about a young wizard that ran off into the wilds and had many adventures. At first, Harry had thought that it was some sort of teenage novel, and he could not believe that his father would read, let alone own, such a thing. But after the first chapter, it became apparent that that was not a teenager’s book since the author, a Miss Marie Schneider, did not skip the gruesome details, or shy away from the dark magic used. It was really a good grim, German tale. It actually reminded Harry of Edger Allen Poe, which Snape had made him read a while ago.
Severus, on the other hand, did not read his usually tome, but went looking through what Harry recognized as Lily’s diary. Why his father would be looking through that, he did not know, but Harry found that he was a little more than annoyed that his father would keep his mother’s diary. After all, the boy would have liked to have read what his own mother had been like and how she had felt. Harry always liked anything dealing with his parents.
“Why are you looking at mum’s diary?” Harry asked finally. He was just so curious. Maybe if Snape finished, he’d let Harry read?
“To make sure I get the spell right,” came the blunt answer. But Harry did not know what his father was talking about.
“Spell? What spell?” the fifteen-year-old asked interestedly, sitting up straighter.
When he looked at his father again, Harry beheld that the Potions Master with a raised eyebrow, and a look that clearly said he was trying to hold in some sort of sarcastic comment, though the boy did not know why. “The spell that will let you resume your masquerade as a Potter,” Snape said rather brusquely, though he scowled at the name “Potter” again. Like he usually did.
Taken by surprise, Harry tried to regain his composure. “Oh,” he said sadly. He had not given thought of changing his appearance back into what it had been before. Actually, Harry had become quite taken with his new face and he surprised himself by being loathed to hide it once again.
“I’ll have to prepare for this spell, but it should not take more than a few more minutes,” Severus’s voice was dull, emotionless, and Harry began to suspect that that was how his father dealt with unpleasant things; by trying to seem indifferent.
It was odd that Harry felt relief at being able to say goodbye to his face for just a few more minutes. But just then, there was a knock on the door. Severus stood up and walked to the door, his wand up his left sleeve, like always. The Potions Master was paranoid, Harry was convinced, but as long as it kept him safe, he supposed he couldn’t fault the older man. Despite how crazy he thought it was, Harry found himself tense and readying himself just in case something were to happen.
When the door opened it did not reveal a Death Eater, the Dark Lord, or the Headmaster, but the small Mrs. Cadogan. “Ack!” the old woman exclaimed. “This be the last time I’ll get ta see you!” she cried and rushed into the house.
Harry had to smile as he stood up to greet the old Welsh woman. He had forgotten that he would have to say goodbye to the Muggle. He was actually not so sure he wanted to say goodbye. He was sure he would miss her and he was sure that his father would too, even though he could tell the old woman could get on the Potions Master’s nerves. But she really wasn’t all that different from the Headmaster…in that case, anyway.
The old woman threw her arms around Harry and held him close. “Oh, Peter!” she exclaimed. “I’m goin’ta miss you, lad!” she cried. “You and your daddy both!”
Smiling, Harry hugged Mrs. Cadogan back, while trying to keep his balance. “I’ll miss you too ma’am.” And he meant it too.
“Ack! You’re such a sweet boy!” she cried again. “What am I goin’ta do without you?”
“Well…hey wait! I thought you had grandchildren?” Harry frowned down at the old woman who still clinging to him.
“Well, they live in the north in Scotland and aren’t here, so they don’t count right now!” she cried, hugging Harry closer, as though he really was one of her own.
As he watched silently close by the door, Severus was torn between smiling and rolling his eyes. Although he liked Mrs. Cadogan, sometimes she was a bit…eccentric. And loud. And although she could annoy the hell out of Severus, the wizard had to admit, at least to himself, that he liked the old Welsh woman. She had been so kind to Harry and him just as she had been kind to he and Lily years ago now. He still had to wonder how the old woman remembered him after all this time. Mrs. Cadogan had been a Godsend; truly.
“As much as I’m sure my son will miss you, Mrs. Cadogan, I am quite certain he is also missing breathing,” the professor rolled his eyes, not wanting anyone to realize how amused he really was with the situation.
The old Welsh woman let go of Harry with a slight flush to her cheeks. “Ack, well, don’t you get a sharp a tongue as your da, young man,” she ignored the Potions Master in favor of lecturing the boy before her.
Unable to stop from grinning, Harry nodded. “Yes, ma’am,” he said seriously, causing his father to scowl. "I won't."
“You’re a good boy,” Mrs. Cadogan winked at Harry before patting his cheek. “Now, you come here, you ornery man,” she ordered Severus sternly.
Rolling his eyes, Severus walked back into the sitting room to where his son and his land lady stood. But before he could have done anything, Mrs. Cadogan threw her arms around Severus as well. He stiffened in surprise, unable to really think of how to get the woman off of him. Harry’s smug smile did not help the older wizard’s temper or embarrassment either. “Please,” he hissed a rebuke.
Laughing, the old woman let her hold of the man go. “Very well, very well,” she continued to laugh. “But you really should start to eat more. I think that that boy over there is thicker than you,” she looked him up and down critically.
At this, Harry started to snicker. He was nowhere near being as tall or as “thick” as his father, but it was amusing, and even somewhat flattering, to be compared to his father’s stature. All his life, Harry had hated being referred to as the “scrawny” kid, the one that would get blown away by a strong wind. It actually gave him confidence to think that he might someday actually look like his father…at least in stature, he told himself.
“I do not need to get thicker,” Severus growled down at the old woman. He did not like it when people called him thin. He had always been too thin in his youth, and he did not want to be reminded of his past poverty.
“So you say,” Mrs. Cadogan gave the man a doubtful look. “Now,” she went on, “don’t wait another fourteen years before you come back, dear,” she smiled at Severus. “Come next summer, if you can. I would be more than delighted with you staying here again.”
“Thank you,” Severus nodded gratefully. “That is very kind of you.”
“Not kind, rather selfish, actually,” Mrs. Cadogan grinned. “I want the company again next year,” she winked.
Nodding again, Severus softened his features, though he could not really bring himself to smile. “Then perhaps we can manage another stay. If schedule allows, of course.”
“Yes, yes, if schedule allows,” she did not seem disappointed in the least, as she seemed sure that they would be back. “Da boch chi then, my dears,” Mrs. Cadogan smiled kindly before she went to leave. She was not one for long goodbyes, and now that she had said her farewells to the Brandon family, she felt she could leave and left with the hope that she might see the men again next summer.
“Bye, Mrs. Cadogan!” Harry ran after her, and onto the stoop. “Thanks for everything!” But as he looked around, the old woman disappeared in the woods, going back to her house on the other side.
Once back inside, Harry looked over to his father to see the Potions Master studying him. “What?” the boy asked.
Severus shook his head, but motioned for his son to sit down on the couch. He did not want to admit that he had been trying to memorize every detail of his son’s face before he was forced to hide it once again under the James Potter mask. The wizard almost shuddered at the thought of it. “Sit,” he commanded instead. “We have to make you look like Potter again.”
Harry frowned, but did as he was told. He was not so sure he liked this plan anymore. Why did they have to hide? Wouldn’t it be better if everyone knew the truth and he could keep his face and his father? Although he was certain he did not know many secrets, Harry wasn’t sure he wanted, or could, keep this secret. It wasn’t fair to have to give up the best thing that had happened to him since going to Hogwarts. It just wasn’t fair!
Reflecting on it further as he watched his father take up his mother’s diary, Harry realized that he did not want to tell everyone the truth either. What would everyone say if they learned that he, the Harry James Potter, was actually the biological son of Potions Master, Severus Snape? What would Ron and Hermione do, what would they say? More importantly, what would Dumbledore do? The Headmaster had not hesitated to separate his parents, did that mean he would not wait to separate him and his father? The whole issue was so confusing.
“Are you ready?” Severus walked over to the boy, his ebony wand in hand.
“Do we have to do this?” Harry asked nervously. Even though he trusted his father with his life, Harry was still a little uneasy with the professor pointing his wand at him. After all, this was still the man that had threatened to expel him from the school numerous times and had given him more detentions alone than all of the detentions every other teacher handed out to the whole student body combined.
“Yes, I’m afraid we must,” Severus nodded, sitting down next to his son, ready to cast the spell.
“No, I mean, do we have to lie to everyone?” the boy turned pleading green eyes up at his father. “I mean, can’t we just…you know, go somewhere else?”
“Run away?” Severus was actually quite shocked at his son’s behavior. That was not the courage of a Gryffindor speaking, so what was it? Where had his Gryffindor son gone? “Harry, we cannot simply run away from everyone, or from our problems.”
“We could try,” the boy pleaded. “I don’t want to have to lie to everyone and, and…hate you again,” he head lowered.
Merlin, he sounded just like Lily! Severus had to blink several times to make sure that he was not dreaming this. The Slytherin could not help but remember when his Lily had said those exact words to him years ago now. It had pulled at his heart then and it pulled at it now. He did not want to have this conversation again, but what else could he do?
“Harry,” Severus kept his tone soft, hoping not to scare the distressed child. “We cannot run from our troubles, or those that cause them. Were it possible, I would have done it years before you were even thought of.”
“But I don’t want to have to live in secret,” Harry cried. “You said it yourself; that once the school year starts again you’re going to have to be a git to me again. And I’ll never see you!”
Taking a deep breath, Severus tried to keep himself calm. He did not want to deal with an emotional child at the moment, but it could not be avoided. Merlin did the child have mood swings! “Harry, I don’t have to be the man I was last year anymore,” he explained patiently. “I told you, most of my…nasty behavior came from trying to protect my position of being a spy. I could not be seen favoring you or Gryffindor, for that matter. I had to act as though I really was loyal to the Dark Lord, to the Death Eaters. I don’t have to act like that anymore.”
Looking up into his father’s eyes, Harry could tell that his father was being truthful, but there was still the fear lingering there that the wizard would not be able to help but slip back into old habits. Severus Snape was known for his grudges, after all, and his cruelty. Would the man be able treat everyone fairly this school year?
“But I thought you said we’d have to play our parts? Act as though nothing changed between us?” fear leaked into Harry’s voice without his consent, and he cursed himself for it.
Here, Severus looked sternly at his son, wishing his son was not so nervous. “Harry, things have changed, not just between you and me, but between you and Dumbledore, and all of the Order members and Dumbledore and myself. The Headmaster, the fool he can be sometimes, will know that it is impossible for me to think of you the same way after living with you for even that short time. He knows I care about you, just not how much I care. As long as we don’t rush our…temperance of each other at school, and since I can be more understanding now, we should be fine.”
Still looking apprehensive, Harry hung his head in defeat with a sighed. “All right then.”
“Very well,” the Potions Master nodded, bringing his wand up to his son’s face. “Are you ready?”
With a shaky nod, Harry watched as the terrifying wand came up to his face. Although he did not know why, Harry found himself closing his eyes as he listened to the long, flowing string of Latin his father spoke. It almost sounded like music.
Once Severus was done, he found himself to be extremely tired. That spell had taken quite a bit of magic out of him, and he would need a good night’s sleep to recover. That’s why he decided to perform this spell today instead of waiting until tomorrow. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day and he needed to be at his top strength.
“Congratulations,” Severus said softly, wincing ever so slightly at his son’s appearance. “You are now Harry James Potter again.”
Opening his eyes, finding them blurry, Harry felt his father shove his old glasses into his hands. He put on his hated spectacles and beheld his father’s sad face. It stung Harry's heart.
It was then that Harry knew that he truly was a Potter again in appearance. He stood and looked into a mirror. He did not like his transformation back.
*******
September 1, 1994
Right at six, Severus woke Harry. The teenager got up and got ready for the day. He tried to get ready without having to look in the mirror too much. All he could see when looking in it was Severus’s disappointed and hurt face.
When the young wizard walked out into the kitchen, he saw his father making breakfast, as usual. Harry was suddenly saddened by the thought of not waking up to this scene anymore. He liked waking up to a father, to a nice breakfast, to a routine. He was enchanted with the thought of living a normal life, even if it had to be a bit on the Muggle side of things. What could be better than being normal?
Sitting down at the table, Harry watched as his father made a plate for him before setting it down in front of his son. “I could have served myself,” Harry tried to hide the smile that threatened to break free from his lips.
Not looking up as he turned back to pour tea, Severus merely nodded. “I’m glad to hear it,” he said sarcastically. Harry was going to miss the playful snark from his father.
After breakfast, which Harry savored, the boy helped his father with the dishes before he went back to his room to retrieve his trunk and owl cage. When he came back out, he was startled by his father, who was wearing his long black robes again. Harry had not seen those in quite some time.
“Are you ready?” Severus asked bluntly.
“Yeah. I mean, yes, sir,” Harry corrected himself. He was going to have to get used to treating Severus like a professor again and not a father. Weird that it had been so simple to think of the man as something more than a teacher, especially after everything that had passed between them at school. But now Harry realized that he was going to have a hard time treating Severus like the Potions Master he had known.
Frowning, but saying nothing, Severus nodded. He took out his wand and levitated Harry’s things until they were before him. He shrunk his trunk before handing it back over to Harry. “It will change back after several hours on the train. I’ve charmed it to work like a shrinking potion,” he explained. “Is Hedwig all right?”
“I think so,” Harry looked down at his owl that was quite perturbed to be put back in a cage. While in Llanfair, the owl had had free run, so to speak. Severus had been surprisingly tolerant of the bird, and had insisted that the owl not be caged all the time. He had even giving her a perch in Harry’s room.
“Good,” the Potions Master gave a crisp nod. “Off we go then," he held out his arm.
Taking Severus’s arm, while holding Hedwig as close as he could, Harry waited patiently, waiting for the apparition. In just a blink of an eye, the wizard found themselves outside of the train station.
Hoping he wouldn’t get sick this time. But thankfully, his father had a strong hold of him this time and made sure that his son was steady on his feet. Although he felt extremely ill, Harry managed not to throw up this time around. After taking several deep breaths, he nodded. “I’m okay,” he said, but made no move to get his father to let go.
“Good,” was all Snape said before he released his grip on his son, but not before making sure that the boy could actually stand without falling over. When Harry stopped swaying, Severus seemed to take something out of his pocket, but Harry could not see what it was.
“What do you have there?” the boy asked.
The corners of Snape’s lips lifted ever so slightly as he answered, “An invisibility cloak.”
“Really?” Harry’s eyes widened in surprise. “I didn’t know you had one.”
“I do now,” the Potions Master put on the rare garment.
Harry frowned at first until his eyes lit up with recognition. “You took mine?” he asked, shocked. “But it's mine!”
“Technically, since I’m your father and you’re not of age, everything you really ‘have’ is mine,” the wizard stated candidly.
“What?” the boy scowled. “That’ not true!”
“Part of wizarding law with regards to child care. You may want to look into it sometime,” the professor had a hard time keeping his amusement down.
Scowling, Harry muttered something under his breath before the now invisible Snape pushed him forward. “Come now. Enough standing around. Let us get inside.”
Harry walked into the station with his owl and his invisible father. He found himself becoming very nervous and jumpy. He and his father had planned everything out so well, but now that it was actually time to go through with the plan, Harry wasn’t sure he wanted to anymore. Why couldn’t they just run away again?
Once outside the barrier for the Hogwarts platform, Harry waited patiently until no Muggles were watching so he could run through. “Now,” came Snape’s command very close behind, so Harry took off and in an instant, he was on the other side, on the platform of nine and three quarters.
Looking around, the young wizard took in the familiar sights the station. The Hogwarts Express was sitting, waiting patiently until she could take off, and children with parents where crowding around everywhere saying their goodbyes and looking for friends. Harry found himself wishing he could tell his father goodbye, even though he knew he was going to be seeing the man later on that night. But it was justifiable since he had spent a whole month with Severus.
“Remember your story,” came his father’s quite warning. “Keep it simple. Keep it straight. And board the train. Do not tarry out here too long. I’m leaving now. I must get to the school.”
Suddenly feeling very alone, Harry wished he could at least see his father’s face. “Goodbye then…for now,” he added quickly.
“I will see you soon,” Snape said.
Somehow Harry knew when his father had left. It was almost like he could sense his father leaving, like his shadow had disappeared. But he did not have time to dwell on his sense of loss as he heard several loud cries from behind him.
“Harry!”