It'd been weeks and he still hadn't addressed the main issues he needed to talk to Harry about. At first he'd excused himself by saying he wanted the boy to get used to his new home. Then it was because it was his birthday. Now here it was already mid-August and he still hadn't started the conversation. He was quite simply avoiding a difficult situation. Time to bite the bullet, before they went back to Hogwart's and lost the privacy they had gotten used to over the summer.

Harry was easy to find, sitting on the bed in his room playing with the chess set that he received from Neville on his birthday. Severus had charmed it to automatically play against anyone using the board, so that Harry always had 'someone' to play against. Stopping in the doorway, Snape watched a bit while Harry played. His level of focus on the game was impressive - he didn't even notice his guardian standing there. If only he could have some of that focus in his potions class, the man thought. Finally, Severus cleared his throat to get Harry's attention. It startled the boy mildly; he still hadn't quite fully adjusted to sudden noises.

Harry looked up with a sheepish smile. "Hi!"

"Are you winning?"

"So far!"

"You've improved much over the last few weeks."

"Yeah, thanks for the charm. It's helped a lot."

"You're welcome. However, I need you to put the game aside for a moment or two. We need to have a talk." That, Severus noticed, clearly made the boy nervous. He should have found another way to phrase it. He made a mental note for next time. Although hopefully there wouldn't be a next time. It was too nerve wracking. So much damage could be done if he managed to do this the wrong way. So instead of talking, he decided to start with a gift.

Unshrinking the package he had in his pocket, Severus held the rather large box in his hands and approached the bed. Sitting on the edge and facing the boy he set the box on the mattress between them where the chess set had been a mere moment ago.

"What's this?" Clearly the boy's curiosity overwhelmed his anxiety, which his guardian was glad to see. Small steps. Very, small steps.

"This is a lock box. It's for you."

"It's for me? Another present? Why?"

"Yes, well...Harry, I thought you could keep some of your things in the box.

"Like what things?"

Here Severus hesitated. The child was going to be very upset at being discovered. "I happened to notice that you have some – items – tucked away on the shelf in your closet."

Harry blanched almost instantly, gripping the comforter beneath his fingertips. Yes, just as Snape had suspected. This wasn't going to be easy.

"I don't."

"You don't what?"

"I don't have things in there, I swear."

"That's a lie Harry. I thought you were better than that."

Harry started to breathe shallowly, and Severus could see that this was getting out of hand far more quickly than he had anticipated.

"Calm down. While I don't like that you're lying to me, I'm willing to overlook it for the moment. What I don't want a repeat of the time in the kitchen when I asked about your sleep walking. So you need to take a few deep breaths for me Harry."

Harry didn't want any repeats of the fainting incident either, so he tried his best to obey, pulling in air even though his body seemed intent on rebelling.

"Now, you need to realize and understand that every time I question you, every time I approach you about something, it doesn't mean I'm scolding you. Not everything I say is an accusation."

"It was before."

"Before when?"

"Last year. At first. You were mean."

"Yes, I was. And I still am. But the fact of the matter is, who I am as a teacher, and who I am as your -" he couldn't help but stumble here. As much as the relationship between them was both acknowledged and desired. Saying it so blatantly out loud still proved difficult. So he moved on, and hoped Harry wouldn't take it as a slight. "Who I am as a teacher and who I am as your guardian are two different things, two completely different situations. And they well forever remain separate, I hope you understand."

"Right, no telling the other kids the stuff you do for me here at home 'cause they wouldn't be afraid of you anymore."

Severus flushed, and then rolled his eyes in annoyance to try to cover the fact that he was embarrassed. "Exactly. I have a reputation to uphold you recognize."

Here Harry looked offended. "I do too you know!"

Snape could only raise an eyebrow in question. Beyond the horrid title of Boy Who Lived, what reputation would a 12 year old have to maintain?

Harry blushed. "If I were to tell the other kids how nice you are to me they'd know how big a baby I am sometimes. I don't want them to know about the stuff I do here either. I mean, I bet not even Neville needs the hall light on for bed, and I bet Seamus and Dean don't get scared in the middle of the might. I bet..."

"I bet none of the hide food or pants in their closets either, hmm?"

Harry stuttered to a stop and stared at Severus.

"I don't know what you mean. I don't hide anything in there!"

"I never said you hid things, Harry. I said you kept things in there. And you do. I could go open the door right now and there would be food and clothing and other things in there sitting on the shelf. But like I said, this isn't an accusation Harry. I don't care where you keep your things, as long as everything is neat and tidy. My question to you is why?"

"Why what?"

Snape resisted the urge to shake the boy into his senses. Why what? He knew exactly what Snape was asking him. None the less, Severus persevered. "Why do you keep those types of things in your closet?"

Harry couldn't deny that he had been asked a very direct question. He just didn't know how to answer it. He had tried denial, but clearly that didn't work and he didn't want to push his luck. If he went too far, his guardian would surely do exactly what he suggested, go into the closet and look for himself. And that would not be good. So, in the end, all he did was stare at the bedspread and shrug.

Severus got up and started pacing the room, and Harry could tell that he had angered the man. Pulling his legs up against his chest, Harry scooted back against his headboard and watched the pacing. Turning on his heel, Snape faced his charge once again.

"Harry, I will ask you again. I need to know. Why are you keeping these things in your closet?"

He didn't want to disappoint the man. He truly didn't. But he couldn't actually tell the professor why. He was too embarrassed. He already knew about Harry getting hurt, he didn't want to tell the man that his family couldn't even stand having him in the same room, the same house as them. He must have been terrible to be locked up. If Snape found out, he'd take a closer look, and maybe he wouldn't want Harry there either. Maybe he would lock him away too, Harry thought with a shudder. And as much as his cupboard had made him feel safe against the Dursleys, it also was a prison. A cramped place where it was hard to sleep and where the cleaning products smelt bad and where he often wasn't even let out to go to the toilet. How could he tell the man who had saved him that he didn't even deserve to use the toilet with normal people?

"Harry?" Snape was still waiting.

"I need them. I need them in there just in case." If he made it through this conversation the gods owed him a reward for his patience.

"Just in case what? What are you planning for?"

Harry was starting to shake. How could he say this? The words didn't even seem to want to come out of his mouth. All he could do was slam his eyes shut and shake his head. NONONONONONO. This couldn't happen. A hand came to rest on the top of his head, and Harry crouched back even further. There was nowhere else to go.

"I will not judge you Harry. You have my word." Harry opened his eyes and tried to find the truth in those words. Could he open up and tell this man what had happened to him? What would happen? And then Snape pulled out the one thing that had worked so well for him in the past.

"Please."

So Harry took a breath and spilled it all out of him in a rush.

"Theykeptmelockedupinthecupboardunderthestairs."

Severus had to try and interpret, try and make sense of what the child had just said. He couldn't ask him to repeat himself; it had taken him enough courage to say the words in the first place. Now what those words were...

And then it all hit Snape in the chest in a sudden realization. They'd locked him in a cupboard. He couldn't even fathom what this must have been like for the boy. But even having had his suspicions, Snape was horrified to hear the words from Harry himself.

Then the other penny dropped. If Harry was keeping food and clothing in the closet, not only had he obviously been in that blasted cupboard for extended periods of time, he obviously feared and expected to be locked away while at the manor with Severus. That was untenable.

Snape opened the eyes he hadn't realized he'd closed and looked at Harry. Such a small thing, for his age. Was that why? No sun, no food, no space. The child in front of him appeared as white as a ghost and had his hands fisted in the bed clothes.

"Harry. Do you worry that I will lock you in your bedroom closet?"" He barely heard his own voice, so hard was it to speak the words.

Harry only kept still, not moving, not willing to admit this part of his reality, of his past, not willing to admit his fears in case it gave the man ideas. New ways to punish him for doing the wrong thing.

Snape should have known that he'd not get a response. He heaved a sigh and ran his hands through his hair in a frustrated gesture. When would things get easier? Would there ever be a time when they didn't have to have intense and emotionally fraught conversations?

Harry still, despite Severus' best hopes and intentions, did not trust him. He did not know what to say, how to reassure the boy for what felt like the hundredth time. Surely even Harry must be getting tired of hearing the same old assurances. But yet he had to try.

"Harry –" the professor began.

"If they kept me in there, in my cupboard I couldn't ruin things. It was better that way."

Harry clamped his mouth shut almost instantly, as if they words had escaped his body unbidden. Perhaps they had. The damage was done, but that didn't mean he had to dig himself in any deeper.

It seemed to take Snape a few seconds to realize that he had spoken, and Harry spotted an astonished look come over the man's face and then quickly disappear.

"Better for whom? Certainly not for you, Harry. And how much damage can one boy do? How many things did you break?"

"Not – not so many. Not as many as Dudley. It wasn't so much that. It's just that – it's because I, I," and here he involuntarily dropped to a whisper, "I contaminate the environment. With my freakishness."

He waited for a moment for the older man to realize. Too see what he had agreed to take in. But all Snape did was clench his jaw and mutter something about 'the unforgivables', whatever that meant.

"You are not a freak, Harry. Surely you've realised by now the lies they told you?"

"But—"

"No, let me finish. It is simply a matter of logic. Why did they think you were a freak?"

"Because I did bad and strange things."

"But you know now that those things were not bad. They were simply your innate magic."

"Innate?"

"Natural, instinctual."

"Yes, but – "

"You have magic because you are a wizard. That's normal. Otherwise all wizards and witches would be freaks. Is Ronald Weasley a freak? Miss Granger?"

"No, of course not! But I'm different. Even Vold— You-know-who couldn't kill me. That's freaky isn't it?"

"I thought all the accolades of the wizarding world hadn't gone to your head, boy?"

"They haven't!"

"Then back to the logical answer Harry. That night with the Dark Lord – did you do anything to save yourself?"

"No, sir. I was just a baby."

"Exactly. You know the story Harry. You know that it was your mother's sacrifice that created the magic to save you. Does that make her a freak?"

"My Mum was NOT A FREAK!"

"No, she wasn't. She was very powerful. So if your mother saved you, that just makes you a perfectly normal, albeit very loved, young wizard. Much like all your peers at Hogwarts. And you don't think they're freaks."

"No."

"So if you're a normal wizard boy and normal wizard boys aren't freaks, that must mean…"

Harry was stunned. When Snape put it so plainly like that, it was hard to deny.

"Harry?"

"I'm not – I'm not a freak."

If he hadn't been distracted by this epiphany he would had seen the soft look on Severus' face. Well, softer than usual, anyway. A moment later Harry felt the familiar sensation of fingers lifting his chin.

"No, you are not."

Snape kept his gaze for several moments, as if willing Harry to believe him. So he gave a nod. It was the least he could do.

"Now, this is the important part. Even if you were the freakiest child on the planet, there is no justification, ever, for locking a child in a cupboard. None. So no matter what you do, you will never be shut away again. Now if it helps you to trust me on this, I can remove the door to your closet. Would that make you feel safer?"

"No."

"No? I'm not sure there is anything else I can do…"

"No I mean, yes, it would make me feel better to have the door gone, but doesn't leaving it on show that I believe you? That I'm trying to trust what you're saying?" He couldn't resist a small smirk. "I mean, if you're looking at it logically."

"Indeed. Well thought out, Mr. Potter. That's impressive logic."