Atoning The Past by Lupins Mistress
Summary: "...I am not your father. I will not act like your father. I do not care for you, Potter, and I will not be a parent to you..."

...Harry was more than ready to agree with that and nodded as he finished the drink he had been sipping at nervously.

It has been often said that a father and son can overcome anything, that family can overcome anything as long as there is love between them...but what if there isn't love but only hate? In a time of war most rely on their family and friends, but who can Harry rely on when he can't tell his friends that Severus Snape is his father? Especially with how curious they are of his secrets already. It isn't like he has Snape, anyway...to Snape he isn't more than just a burden after all, right? So in his time of need who can Harry turn to? Who can help him as he completes the task that was set on him?
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape > Severitus Challenge Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Draco, Dumbledore, Hermione, Remus, Ron
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: Action/Adventure, General, Hurt/Comfort
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe
Takes Place: 6th summer
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 18 Completed: No Word count: 66764 Read: 66118 Published: 18 Sep 2008 Updated: 13 Aug 2009
Hogwarts by Lupins Mistress
Author's Notes:
I've been just extremely busy this past few weeks and haven't really posted much, obviously...but I finally have time to get something up...

August 22, 1996

Harry literally ran into Remus Lupin on his way to the dungeons from the library, carrying a number of books that Snape had recommended he read to help him with his potions work. His books slipped out of his hands and were thrown to the ground at the collision but Harry managed to stop himself from joining them at the ground. Remus had also remained on his feet and gave Harry a smile.

"Sorry," Harry said. "Books obstructed my vision."

"It's quite alright, Harry," Remus told him "I was actually looking for you. Severus said you were in the library, that's where I was headed." Remus waved his wand as he spoke and Harry's books put themselves into a neat pile.

"Thanks," Harry said and then grinned at the werewolf. "So, is it official now?"

"I'm officially your professor again, yes," Remus told him.

Harry, still grinning, said, "We do need to have that talk, then, the one about the DA members."

"Right," Remus said and levitated Harry's books. "Would you like to come to my office? We can have tea and discuss this, among other things."

"That'd be great," Harry said enthusiastically. He'd missed Remus in the few weeks he had been apart from the werewolf and now he was back.

A few minutes later they stepped into Remus' office. Harry was happy to note that it was almost exactly as it had been back when Remus had been using it during Harry's third year, including a magical creature sitting in a covered cage in the corner of the room.

"How have the living arrangements with Severus gone?" Remus asked while he fixed their tea with a wave of his wand.

Harry shrugged. He fingered a loose thread on his too big muggle shirt, another one of Dudley's belongings, and then answered, "Alright, I guess. We get along somewhat, but it's Snape; and it's me, and"—Harry let out a small laugh—"no one should ever have expected the two of us to be father and son. I think we both decided it would remain being in name only."

Remus didn’t say anything for a while. When he spoke he was pouring their tea into two identical cups. "Do you wish it to be more, Harry, for him to maybe be a father to you?"

Harry didn't know how to answer that. Did he want Snape to be his father? That was basically the question. It wasn't like he hated the man anymore, but did he want to see him as his father, truly?

"I don't know," Harry said. "I don't need anyone, but he is my father, isn't he?"

Remus bought out the sugar. "How many?" He asked.

"Two," Harry said, absentmindedly, then, "He cared for me once, when I was a baby. There were memories they sent me, his memories. There was one, he was in my room, I guess, and he just told me all these things about what they were going to do and how terrible he felt about it, how he didn’t want to go through with it all and how he wished things were different. I don't know, but we're not who we were then, obviously, and maybe everything might have been different if I had learned of this earlier, when I was younger, but now…" Harry trailed off. He picked up his cup of tea.

"I think, Harry, that over time you have grown to not need anyone, maybe because you never had an adult around to help you, or because you grew self-sufficient. But let's move on to a better topic. What exactly have you taught those DA members of yours?"

Harry was glad at the change of topic and threw himself into the topic, describing what each of the members could do, what spells he had taught them, their weaknesses, as well as how he had taught them, how long it had taken each of them to learn a certain spell, and the power behind their spells.

After a while they stopped.

"Will you continue the DA this year?" Remus asked.

"I don't know," Harry said truthfully. "We all do need to be prepared for what is out there, but you're here now, and you're a brilliant teacher, not to add to the fact that I myself will be too busy to do much of anything much less add this to my pile of things to do."

Remus smiled. "Ah, Harry, I've never felt that any of this has been right, you being put on the spot. You're just sixteen, you shouldn't have to worry about him."

Harry didn't know what to say to that. He couldn't very well tell him about the prophecy, the reason he was the one that needed to train and that needed to get ready for when the time came.

Remus seemed to have realized that Harry didn't want to talk about it, however, because he changed the subject.

"I was thinking of staring off this year with the patronus charm, after all the trouble with the dementors and everything, I think everyone should know the charm. I'm thinking of starting with that for the sixth years and bringing it in later for the fourth and fifth years. The seventh years should be introduced to it, too, of course, what do you think?"

"A couple of them will know how to do it, some of them in fifth year. Ginny Weasley, for one, and Luna Lovegood. Colin Creevey must know too."

Remus nodded. "That will most likely be helpful, actually. I think I may just have you there as my student teacher," Remus laughed, and then more seriously, "I could take you on as an apprentice if you wanted to do this, it would look good on your application. Your father—" Remus stopped and smiled sadly at Harry before continuing. "—James was an auror, I'm not sure anyone told you that. He and Sirius both were. Anyhow, the only reason James got in was because of his work with our defense teacher back then.

"It will help. Regardless, I do think you have enough knowledge of defense that you could teach first through sixth year, seventh year even, considering the lack of good teachers you lot have wound up with."

Harry couldn't help but grin. "Would I have time for this?"

"What classes are you taking?"

"Potions, Defense, Transfiguration, Herbology, Charms, and I was thinking about maybe taking Care of Magical Creatures. I've got it all covered with Professor McGonagall."

Remus tapped his fingers against his desk. "You'd need the first five classes you mentioned, but Care of Magical Creatures, what are you gaining from that?"

"Nothing, really, I just needed another class and while muggle studies is as interesting as the next thing, I would have at least had fun with Hagrid."

"Meaning, you can drop that and turn it into a free period which added to your other free period could give you enough time to become my apprentice. Professor McGonagall would not be opposed to that, I think."

Harry nodded thoughtfully. It was reasonable enough, and he didn't think it would really affect him. It wasn't like he would use his free periods to work on school work anyway, knowing Ron and the other Gryffindors not counting Hermione, he wouldn't get enough peace to work on anything.

"Alright, I guess that's sort of settled." Harry grinned at him.

"I'll tell your head of house and Dumbledore later tonight, and we'll be set. I don't think anyone would have any trouble with this." Remus shuffled the papers on his desk and finally found what he was looking for. He pulled out a beaten up watch and read the time. "We're ten minutes late to the dinner."

Harry looked towards his pile of books. "Could I leave them here, pick them up after dinner?"

"Of course, but come along, we mustn't miss dinner," Remus said, standing up.

Harry stood up moments later and Remus threw an arm around his shoulders. "Ah, Harry," Remus sighed. "I can feel the beginnings of a strange year."

Harry grinned. "The summer has not been without its surprises, either."

-

-

-

August 23, 1996

"How is your magic this morning?" Snape shot at him that morning when Harry entered the small kitchenette in Snape's quarters. It was here that they had breakfast every morning, brought to them by Dobby.

"Better," Harry said with a weary sigh.

It had begun to show up slightly, weakly the day before when he had woken up, and he had been excited for the most part, but there hadn't been much of a change, except for the fact that now he could hold a spell for longer than the minute and a half he had been able to the day before.

"It will become better. Just a few more weeks," Snape said as he unfolded his usual paper.

"I changed my mind about Care of Magical Creatures," Harry said. He had been trying to bring the subject up since after dinner the night before but hadn't really gotten anywhere.

Snape looked up. "Two free periods a day might help you keep up your studies," He agreed. "Why the sudden change?"

"I know I'll get nothing done during my free periods. I don't think my friends—other than Hermione—would allow me to pull out any books unless they were about quidditch, so instead Remus offered me an apprenticeship."

At this, Snape frowned.

"It’s alright, isn't it?" Harry asked. "Professor McGonagall thinks it's a great idea, she said so yesterday and the headmaster is fine with it as long as it doesn't take time away from my other studies. I think as long as I manage my time, listen to Hermione mostly I could pull this off. We're done with the occlumency lessons, aren’t we? And I'll be learning a lot from Remus that will no doubt help me later on."

Snape was looking at him oddly. "I wish you had talked to me about it, before deciding on this," He said. "Dumbledore and I discussed maybe allowing you independent study so you could further study not only defense but the dark arts."

"The dark arts?" Harry asked, surprised.

"To know how to defeat them, one must have knowledge of what one is fighting," Snape said. "However, if you are more concerned with your future career I will not deprive you of this."

Snape then folded his paper up and walked out of the small kitchen. Harry stared after him for a long moment before he frowned at his breakfast and stood up. He walked to his room where he found his stack of potions books. He had started perusing them the night before and had found the subject quite interesting and he had been meaning to ask Snape some questions about part of it, but he didn't think the man would want to answer anything after their talk during breakfast. Harry still didn't understand exactly why Snape had been offended, or bothered by the fact that Harry would be working with Remus.

-

-

-

Severus knocked on the headmaster's office. He heard a muffled enter and proceeded to enter the familiar round office.

"Harry is taking an apprenticeship with Lupin," Severus announced. "I was under the impression that I would be working with him on the theory of the dark arts so that some understanding of the subject can help him defeat it."

Dumbledore nodded. "And Harry will be doing that," He said "As well as his apprenticeship. I think Harry needs more than just work, he needs something fun, something he will enjoy."

Severus snorted. "He has quidditch for that."

Dumbledore gave him a look.

"I am only preoccupied by the fact that he is taking too much into his plate. He is taking five N.E.W.T.s classes, demanding classes. He will also be helping Lupin every day for two periods a day, added to this he will have homework, and then he shall be working with me on his training. The boy will not be able to handle all of this."

Dumbledore muttered something, as if adding to the list, but when Severus looked at him he shook his head.

"He will handle it, Severus, there will be quite a few alterations to his schedule yet."

Severus frowned but said nothing before he stood and walked to the fire.

"Do not underestimate your son, Severus, he is a very powerful wizard," Dumbledore said.

"I don't doubt his power, but his sanity," Severus muttered.

-

-

-

August 24, 1996

Harry sat on a pile of books. He looked around the charms classroom and grinned.

"Enjoying the view, Harry?" Professor Flitwick asked, entering the room and making Harry jump slightly.

After regaining his balance Harry smiled at the short charms professor. "I kind of like it up here. You can see everything. When I came in I was sort of tempted to get up here, and I sort of did it."

"One of the reasons I use it," Professor Flitwick said. "Can I help you with anything this morning, Harry?"

Harry shook his head and made his way down from the pile. "I was wondering if you needed any help. I think I may have been pestering Professor McGonagall just a tad bit too much, and she sent me to help any teacher that needed it."

"Not really, but thanks for the offer, Harry. We could on the other hand have some tea if you feel up to it this early in the morning."

"Very up to it," Harry said. "How has your summer been, Professor?"

Professor Flitwick led Harry to his office and talked about his summer in France and the research he had been able to get done for a project concerning magical levels in magical creatures.

"And your summer, Harry?"

Harry shrugged at the tiny professor. "Nothing exciting happened, I was mostly inside, staying out of the way just in case what with everything going on these days."

Flitwick nodded understandably and opened his office door. Harry followed after him and looked around the unfamiliar room. He had never been in the charms professor office before and found that the office very much described his professor. It was all full of warmth and radiated kindness and welcoming.

"What will we be learning this year, Professor?" Harry asked, after a few subjects had been exhausted.

Flitwick clapped his hands enthusiastically. "I have a treat for you lot this year, but I won't ruin the surprise just yet! We will, however, be learning a lot more about the creation of spells. Miss Granger will enjoy that, I think."

Harry nodded, readily, wondering what the charms professor would have in store for them.

-

-

-

August 25, 1996

It was odd, shopping with Snape, Harry realized the moment he stepped into Gladrags with Snape following close behind under the disguise of Remus who had agreed to give Snape some of his hair as to make sure no one guessed at Snape's true alliances. Snape had a flask hidden in his robes that he would take sips from at every half hour just in case, to keep the polijuice working. Even though they had meant to go shopping with Ron and Hermione, due to a number of things, their plans had been changed and he and Snape had wound up shopping four days later, alone.

"Unlike those atrocious muggles," Snape said once they were in the shop and browsing through clothes. "I do wish you to have a wardrobe that would not embarrass anyone in your presence." And then he proceeded to gather clothes and hand them to Harry, pushing him towards the changing rooms to make him try them on.

After giving Snape a dark look, he tried some of them out and found he liked how he felt wearing clothes that actually fit him, not that he had always just worn the old clothes from Dudley, after all at Hogwarts he was nearly always in robes, but having muggle clothes that fit him without his having to roll the sleeves over or use a belt felt nice.

They spent more than half an hour in Gladrags and when they left, Snape was shrinking a number of bags of clothes that he had insisted Harry need, ignoring Harry's protests, and still they weren't done with their shopping.

Next Snape took Harry to Madame Malkin's to get Harry not only school robes, but other robes and a few extra cloaks other than the usual black one required by the school.

"I have more than enough clothes," Harry said in complaint as Snape made him don a green cloak that seemed to bring out his eyes, as Madame Malkin had proclaimed upon seeing Snape hand it to Harry.

"Yes, lovely, dear," She said, now, while looking at Harry.

The shopping did not stop after finally finishing the gatherings of Harry's new wardrobe, instead it continued. It continued on to the apothecary, where Snape gathered a number of herbs and gruesome potion ingredients, not only for himself but to replenish Harry's own potion stores.

Then it was to Flourish and Botts where Harry bought a number of books, not all of them for his classes, but some that had interested him on sight, and others that Snape told him would help him greatly in certain of his classes, as well as other books that Snape handed him and told him would help him with his extra lessons with him, which Harry hadn't until that moment known he would be having.

Snape also bought his own collection of books, a much larger pile than Harry even, and Harry wondered where Snape would put those books as well as when he would even have time to bother with reading them, but he said nothing as they paid for their belongings and moved on to buy Harry a new cauldron, and then parchment, ink, and quills.

By the time Harry once entered Hogwarts again right after lunch he was tired, and ready to go to sleep, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to. Dumbledore had asked him to go to his office the moment he arrived from Diagon Alley, and Harry intended to do as he was asked.

Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk when Harry entered the office, followed by Snape. Remus was already within and was slowly looking over a piece of parchment. He grinned when Harry entered and Harry took the seat next to his werewolf friend. Snape sneered at them, but Harry didn't take notice of this. Remus did, but he said nothing.

"Now what is this about, Albus?" Snape asked almost at once, not bothering to take his seat, but remaining standing behind the empty chair that had been meant for him.

"Why, Harry's schedule," Dumbledore said as if it was the obvious thing. "His school schedule has been dealt with already and it cannot be changed, but Harry will be doing four extracurricular activities this year."

"Four?" Snape asked. "I thought only two. His training with me, and his apprenticeship."

"Ah, but you forget quidditch," Dumbledore said.

"And the fourth?" Snape asked.

"Why, his lessons with me," Dumbledore said.

"Lessons with you, sir?" Harry asked, just as surprised as the other two occupants of the room.

"Yes, there is much that I should have told you, Harry, as you proved to me last year, and with so limited time as we have I must share with you the knowledge that even I have not interpreted to its fullest. I cannot put a specific time to each of our meetings. I am a busy man with much to do, but I will inform you as much in advance as I can to when our meetings will be. I ask that you be excused from any other thing during those nights, that includes quidditch."

Harry nodded, but said nothing.

"I will not require Harry to come to me in the evenings," Remus put in. "The only time I require of him is his free periods during the day and every other Saturday afternoon."

Dumbledore nodded.

"Two nights a week he must be in my rooms, they can vary if that will make it easier to get away with no one noticing our patterns. I also think the weekend, maybe Saturday evening or Sunday afternoon will be needed."

Harry watched the entire thing with slight amusement. It was like parents deciding on which days each got him after a hasty divorce. He almost laughed at imagining how they would take it if he actually told them that was how they sounded.

"Is this alright with you, Harry?" Dumbledore asked.

Harry nodded. "Yes, fine," Harry said.

To be continued...
End Notes:
Happy Holidays


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