An Uncertain Future by Pandora
Summary: After the final battle, Harry goes back into Snape's memories. What he finds, shocks him and turns what should have been his happiest days, into a living hell.
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape Main Characters: Arthur, Draco, Dumbledore, Ginny, Hermione, McGonagall, Molly, Ron, Shacklebolt, .Snape and Harry (required)
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe
Takes Place: 8 - Pre Epilogue (adult Harry)
Warnings: Alcohol Use, Profanity
Prompts: Post-DH Sevitus
Challenges: Post-DH Sevitus
Series: None
Chapters: 33 Completed: No Word count: 157605 Read: 158635 Published: 27 Oct 2008 Updated: 01 Jan 2012
Lost Souls by Pandora
Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: This chapter has several direct quotes from HBP, & GOB. All characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

Thanks again to my wonderful beta ObsidianEmbrace, whose stories Lily's Charm, Lily's Charm: The Gift, and Crucio are absolutely brilliant! Thanks again for keeping me on my toes Tabitha! ;)
 

Harry awakened to bright sunlight illuminating the room. He squeezed his eyes shut to block out the brilliant glare. His head was pounding, and when he attempted to rise from his bed, the room started to spin wildly--he lay back down on the bed for a few minutes to regain his equilibrium. "In the space of twenty-four hours, I've defeated Voldemort, lost Fred, Remus and Tonks, found out that my whole identity had been stripped from me, and discovered that the one bloody person whom I trusted the most in the whole damned world, has betrayed me," he thought angrily. "It's no wonder that I'm a little barmy," he thought.

An idea was beginning to form in Harry's mind, and even though he knew that it was a very risky venture, Harry just couldn't let it go. Snape had helped him defeat Voldemort, had placed his life in danger repeatedly every time he returned to Voldemort's side, and pledged false loyalty to him. Yes, Snape had revealed the prophecy to Voldemort, had been in part responsible for Lily and James' deaths, but he had paid his debt tenfold...with his blood and soul. Yes, Harry thought, maybe Snape deserved a second chance....at life.

Harry started thinking about what he had learned about Horcruxes, when he had entered into Horace Slughorn's memories, with Dumbledore...

"No...well...you'd be hard-pushed to find a book at Hogwarts that'll give you details on Horcruxes, Tom. That's very Dark stuff, very Dark indeed," said Slughorn. A Horcrux is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed a part of their soul."

"I don't quite understand how that works, though, Sir." said Riddle.

His voice was very controlled, but Harry could sense his excitement.

"Well, you split your soul, you see," said Slughorn, and hide part of it in an object outside of the body. Then, even if one's body is attacked or destroyed, one cannot die, for part of the soul remains earthbound and undamaged."

"Of course," he muttered, "this is all hypothetical, what we're discussing, isn't it? All academic...."

"Yes, of course," said Riddle quickly.

"But all the same, Tom...keep it quiet what I've told--that's to say, what we've discussed. People wouldn't like to think that we've been chatting about Horcruxes. It's a banned subject at Hogwarts, you know...Dumbledore 's particularly fierce about it..." .

Harry hadn't been the only casualty in Dumbledore's grand plan; Snape had surely suffered as much as Harry had. After all, Snape had lost Lily--a woman that he had loved more than life itself--had been denied his rightful place as Harry's father by James Potter; a man whom he had loathed.

Bitter feelings of anger and hurt towards Dumbledore, once again rose up like bile--and his lack of sleep was impeding his thought processes. I need Hermione's help, Harry decided, as he lay his head back down on the pillow....

Hermione and Ron had barely recovered from their initial shock of finding out that Snape was Harry's father, when Harry dropped the bomb about his plan to return Snape from the Veil, by means of Snape's Horcrux. Of course, his friends thought that Harry must be emotionally unstable after having Voldemort in his head for years, and thought that he needed professional help to even contemplate the idea of dabbling in Dark Magic. And the topping on the cake was that Harry wanted to use it to bring Snape back to life; Ron thought that Harry was positively barmy! "Snape? He made your life a living hell mate; why on earth would you want him to bring him back?"

"You weren't there--you didn't see Snape's memories. Snape cried when Voldemort murdered my mother, Ron. Snape cried!" Harry emphasized.

Ron's jaw dropped. "The greasy git can cry?" he asked incredulously.

"Ron!" Hermione admonished. "Professor Snape is Harry's father." She shot Ron a warning look.

"I know, but…Snape just always seemed...you know...like he didn't have any feelings." He shot an apologetic look at Harry. "Sorry mate, but this is just too weird...all of it!"

"It's just a lot to take in Harry," Hermione added delicately.

"Yeah, c'mon Harry...you know--um...I mean...wanting to bring Snape back from the dead?” He looked horrified. “It's just creepy!"

"I know...but Snape is the last link that I have to my mum, Ron." Harry's eyes moistened with tears. "They were best friends; they grew up together. Ron...if you had been in the Pensieve with me...if you could have just seen how much Snape loved my mother...you'd understand! I wouldn't have defeated Voldemort if it weren't for Snape either." Harry lowered his gaze sadly.

"We understand Harry--we really do, but resurrecting Snape from the dead...I just don't know..." Hermione said uncertainly.

"C'mon Hermione...I can't do this without you guys. And you," he glanced at Hermione slyly, "can help me research how to use the Horcrux to bring Snape back, and translate some Latin phrases that were in Snape's Potions book. Didn't you get an Outstanding on your Latin Spell work class last term?"

"Well...I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a look; after all...you and Ron are simply pathetic at Latin," she added haughtily.

"And you Ron...I wouldn't want anyone but my best mate helping me with something so important to me; after all...we've been through thick and thin together...I can't imagine doing this without you!" I really should have let the sorting hat put me in Slytherin, Harry thought sneakily.

"Uh… ok, anything for you mate," Ron said, preening. His face flushed with pride.

Hermione relentlessly jotted down notes from the volumes of Dark Magic books that she had filched from Dumbledore's office earlier this year--when the three had decided to go in search of Voldemort's Horcruxes. As well--she searched through various Ancient Latin spellbooks, in hopes of translating the writing inscribed in Snape's Potions manual. At last, Hermione had compiled a lengthy list of items that would be required to complete the ritual.

"Snape's Horcrux is quite unique," Hermione explained. "While it still utilizes Dark Magic as it's basis, it is created in a different manner from that of Voldemort's Horcrux. I need to explore a bit further....but Snape's Horcrux requires a potion called "Anastasis Potion". Unfortunately...while the book lists some of the ingredients required--some of which are rare, by the way--they don't instruct on the proper procedure to prepare it. Also...there are some other items that might be a bit difficult to obtain," Hermione said with concern.

“What about Snape's Potions Book, it's not in there?" Harry began flipping through the text, his eyes skimming page after page digilently, coming up empty.

"I have already searched the book Harry, there is nothing..."

"Maybe I should go back and search Snape's office again," Harry suggested. "Snape was a Potions Master, after all, he must have all the ingredients in his stockroom, and maybe he wrote down the insructions somewhere. His face suddenly took on a thoughtful expression. "You know...Snape was a genius at Potions, maybe he didn't need to write down the instructions....maybe they were in his head," Harry said worriedly.

"Yes...and that could be problematic," Hermione interjected. "Time is of the essence as well Harry. It states in the book, that the Ritual best takes place within 72 hours of death; before the remaining parts of the Soul leave the body."

"We can't afford to waste anymore time," Harry said firmly.

"Are you sure that Snape is worth all this trouble Harry? Ron asked doubtfully. He scratched his head, and scrunched his face up. "No offence mate..."but, I still think that bringing Snape back from the dead is creepy.!"

"You were there Ron--you know how I defeated Voldemort--you know that if it wasn’t for Snape, I wouldn't be standing here..."

"You know we'll help you Harry," Hermione said soothingly. "You deserve to know your father."

Ron snorted. "Sorry mate, but it's just hard to imagine Snape--of all people, being your father. Hermione shot a warning look at Ron. "But yeah...Hermione's right--of course we'll help you."

Harry returned to Snape's office, and began to skim the surface of Snape's desk, and empty out the drawers, searching for anything that might aid them in their quest. There's got to be some clue, Harry thought with frustration. Snape wouldn't have created a Horcrux, without preparing the Potion to return his soul back to his body, he thought. . "Found it!" Harry exclaimed, as he spotted an old tattered peice of Parchment with the heading "Anastasis Potion", peeking out from under a book on Snape's desk. Harry then began selecting the required ingredients from Snape's storeroom. Exhausted...Harry finally completed his task. After an thorough search of both Snape's office and quarters, they were still missing several essential items to complete the ritual.

Unbeknownst to Ron and Hermione, the latter whom would have lectured him sternly, Harry returned to the Chamber of Secrets, to see if perhaps Riddle had a hiding place where he had secreted details about his Horcruxes. Finally, Harry stumbled upon a hidden cavern where it would appear that Riddle had stashed a veritable treasure trove of Dark artifacts. There were numerous books on Horcruxes and Dark Magic, and several volumes containing ancient Latin spells. There was also a wooden box that held six black candles, inscribed with what looked like Egyptian Hieroglyphics. Harry shuddered...he could feel the evil emanating from the cavern.

Harry gathered up the items, and hastily exited the Chamber. He made his way back up to the Tower, and excitedly showed Ron and Hermione his discoveries. Hermione, of course delivered a stern lecture in her usual schoolmarm tone, for having revisited the Chamber of Secrets. It was extremely foolish to put yourself in danger once again, what if you could not find a way to return this time; no one would know your whereabouts, and on and on she droned, until..... "Aw stuff it Hermione, the man's fine," Ron rolled his eyes and darted a conspiring look towards Harry. "Women, I tell you," he said to Harry. Hermione, of course, delivered a sharp swat to Ron’s shoulder. Harry chuckled.

Later...the three sat cross-legged on the Common Room floor which was littered with books and papers. Hermione suddenly looked up from her notes, and fixed Harry with a stern look. "Are you absolutely certain that you want to do this Harry? This is Dark Magic, and it's extremely dangerous," Hermione said, her tone laced with disapproval. "The book warns of how implementing Dark Magic could cause rebounding magic to the caster Harry; there's a danger of you turning Dark.. Also it warns that should the spell go awry, Snape's soul could forever be lost in limbo," Hermione lectured.

"Yes, I'm sure Hermione--let's get started," Harry said in frustration. He was anxious to put his plan in motion, and he was tired of Hermione's mollycoddling. He was an adult now, he was aware of the dangers he was facing, and he didn't want or need Hermione's constant badgering.

Armed with the candles, Snape's Horcrux, the book on Dark Magic, and a phial of Snape's blood, which Harry had discovered when he went back into Snape's office, the three friends headed to the Shrieking Shack. Harry reckoned that Snape's body should still be there. He had not informed anyone of Snape's death, other than Ron, Hermione, and Dumbledore. Most people had not questioned Snape's whereabouts, as they were too preoccupied rebuilding their lives.

Harry's stomach lurched when he saw Snape lying on the ground, his face alabaster, and lips tinged blue. Congealed blood caked the large wound on his neck, and his eyes looked like glass marbles in their sockets. Harry hesitatingly touched Snape's arm. It was rigid and cold as ice; rigormortis had set in. While he had seen it for himself, the violent manner in which Snape had died, seeing only the shell of the man lying lifeless before him--slapped Harry with hard reality. Hermione and Ron came to stand beside Harry. Hermione placed her slender hand on his shoulder. Hermione's face was pale and her hand trembled slightly; Ron's freckles stood out starkly against his chalk-white complexion. The three remained silent for several minutes...

"Uh...do you think we could just do this and get it over with?" Ron asked nervously. His pallor still resembled the colour of sour milk, and his eyes were glassy; the pupils fixed and dilated. He shivered uncontrollably, and his heart palpitated so loudly, he felt as if his chest would explode. What the hell did I get myself into, he thought?

“Yeah, all right,” Harry said quietly.

“Harry, I’ve translated the Latin phrase that Snape wrote in his book. It means to reunite the soul with the body,” said Hermione as she was re-reading the instructions from the text, yet again.

“We’ve been through this a thousand times already, Hermione--can we just do this?” Ron muttered. The lump in his throat was making it difficult to swallow.

“I know Ron, but everything must be perfectly synchronized, or it could have disastrous consequences,” Hermione lectured.

"OK, let's do this," said Harry said with determination. He motioned to Hermione to light the fire under the cauldron that was filled with the Anastasis Potion; she had brewed it according to Snape's instructions. With a sweeping motion, Harry waved his wand, and whispered, "Lumos," lighting all six candles in succession. The shadows from the flickering candles danced on the walls, illuminating the Shrieking Shack in an eerie glow. Harry shuddered.

Taking a sharp-edged dagger, Harry rolled up the sleeve on his left arm and cut a small incision. The wound began to bleed profusely, and Harry placed his arm over the now simmering cauldron, and allowed three droplets of blood to fall into the potion. Harry touched his wound with his wand and it healed instantly. Harry then retrieved the phial of Snape's blood from the pocket of his jeans and emptied the contents into the mixture as well.

"Blood of the son knowingly given--I will renew my father" Harry chanted softly. When Snape's blood was added to the concoction, the ruby red liquid began to swirl, and the shimmering vapour was alight with sparks now. It might have been encrusted with diamonds. A hazy cloud began to slowly rise from the cauldron.

"Ron, are you okay, mate?" Harry asked in concern.

“Yeah, I'm fine," Ron answered anxiously. In reality...he had broken out in a cold sweat, and was trembling uncontrollably.

"If you're sure...hand me Snape's book please.”

Ron handed him the book with shaky hands. "OK, Hermione...Ron.” Harry gave them both a serious look. “When I pour the mixture onto the book, all three of us have to chant the phrase that we practiced."

Harry sucked in a deep breath. With resolve, he dipped the ladle into the shimmering liquid, and slowly dripped the solution onto the open book. Suddenly--a vaporous cloud rose from the pages of the book and the incandescent mist floated upwards. Harry raised his wand and guided the detached soul towards Snape's lifeless body.

"Body and soul will once again unite as one," Harry recited

The soul then hovered directly over Snape's body, and the three chanted..."Reconcilio Corpus et Anima," The vapour formed into a tornado-like funnel, and began spinning violently--it then entered Snape's body, slowly seeping into the skin. Suddenly--Snape's body began to convulse, and then stilled. Harry kneeled down beside him, and touched his shoulder lightly--Snape remained motionless. Harry looked helplessly at Ron and Hermione. "It didn't work--he's still ...dead," Harry said in anguish.

Hermione and Ron moved closer, looking at each other in confusion. "Perhaps we missed a step," Hermione surmised, "or maybe the potion was not prepared correctly. But I'm certain that I took the utmost care in assuring the quality of the potion."

"I'm sure that you did everything correctly Hermione," Harry said consolingly. "Maybe I didn't say the words properly."

"There is no bloody way that we made a mistake mate," said Ron. "Hermione drilled us over and over again on every step."

"Then why isn't he waking up?" Harry said with frustration. He examined Snape more closely, and heard a slight raspy sound; he grew excited--He thought...no...he imagined that he heard Snape breathing. "Hermione, I think that he's breathing--come listen!"

Hermione leaned in closer, and put her ear to Snape's chest. She felt a slight whisper of air on her cheek, and Snape's chest began rising gently. Suddenly...Snape's arm jerked upwards violently. Hermione fell backwards with the force of the impact to her head.

Snape's eyelids fluttered open, and he looked dazedly at the trio.

“Sir? Harry said hesitatingly. Snape stared at him for a few minutes, and then his face clenched in pain, as he shakily attempted to stand. Harry went to offer his hand, but Snape slapped it away angrily.

"Po-tter," Snape croaked. “What happened...what am I doing here?" Snape asked in confusion.

"Well...Sir...you see--you died, and..." Harry stuttered nervously.

Suddenly...it all came rushing back to Snape, as if he was having a nightmare. There were flashes of The Dark Lord...and Nagini...sinking her teeth into his neck...Snape reached up to his neck and felt the dried blood...the wound was but a scar now. The spell had healed it... "I was dying...I gave you my memories...I-" Snape halted, and he glared at Harry.

Snape’s eyes suddenly narrowed in suspicion, and he pursed his lips. He surveyed the room, and his glance fell on the Potions book, the cauldron, and the black candles. Realization suddenly dawned on him. His eyes flashing, he hissed…“Potter… what the hell have you done?

“I-I-" Harry could not form a coherent sentence. His vocal cords felt paralyzed, and the blood rushed to his head. Suddenly...the enormity of what he had done, hit him like a ton of bricks.

Snape's hand shot out and grabbed Harry by the collar--lifting him up on his toes. He looked down at Harry from his considerable height, and said, "You think this is a game, you little fool?" he spat venomously. "You have obviously used Dark Magic to bring me back from the dead. I want to know how you did it?”

Harry's stomach curled, and fear assaulted his senses. Snape is surprisingly strong for someone who has just returned from the clutches of death, he thought. Harry was loudly snapped out of his reverie...

"I asked you a question boy!" Snape bellowed, eyes flashing dangerously. He leaned down to Harry's height and his face was so close, their noses were almost touching.

Eyes wide--Harry gulped nervously, "Uh...I used your Horcrux to bring you back."

"You what?" Snape screeched. He let go of Harry's collar, and Harry jerked backwards--almost losing his balance. "Have you lost what little mental capacity that you had left?" Snape asked furiously.

"I don't understand why you're so mad...I mean-- "

"You don't understand why I'm so mad?" Snape asked incredulously. "Well..let's see...you have dabbled in very Ancient Magic that is so Dark , that it taints your soul, it consumes you until you are no longer capable of free will. As well...you could have risked my soul forever being lost in limbo--had anything gone wrong with the spell in any way."

"But the spell didn't go wrong, did it? You're here...very much alive, and now you get a second chance," Harry reasoned.

"You still don't understand what you've done--do you Potter?" Snape asked. This is Dark Magic...it can consume you, turn you dark...Typical...you go rushing off without a thought for the consequences...”

"I did think about the consequences," Harry insisted, clenching his teeth.

Snape snorted and lifted an eyebrow. "Yes...you are well known for thinking things through, aren't you Potter?"

"Why the hell did you create the Horcrux to begin with if you didn't want to come back then, Snape?" Harry could feel the anger slowly start to simmer below the surface.

I only created the Horcrux at the Dark Lord's insistence Potter." A pained look overcame his features. "The Dark Lord wished his most loyal followers, myself included," Snape said bitterly, "to become immortal, like him. Do you have any idea how a Horcrux is made Potter? To split your soul apart, you must perform unspeakable acts of evil. The Dark Lord asked...No...ordered his followers to--" he stopped, his face clenched in pain. "torture and kill muggles. You are but a child, Potter...a boy pretending to be a man," Snape sneered. "This is just one of your usual--"

Harry finally lost his temper..."You know what...Snape--I did this for you--so you would have a second chance, but as usual you choose to only see the worst in me." Harry said furiously, clenching his fists. "It doesn't even make a difference to you that I'm your son, does it Snape?"

"Son?" Snape spit out the word like it was vomit. "Is that why you did this Potter? Were you hoping that we would have a family reunion, that we would be a happy family--well...I have news for you boy; I'm not in the market for a son--and I sure the hell don't plan on playing Daddy to The-Boy-Who-Lived!" Snape said maliciously.

"Fine...you know what? I've gone seventeen years without a father...and I did just fine. I sure as hell don't need one now!" Harry fought to prevent the tears from escaping his eyes. Bitter disappointment rose in his throat; He wasn't quite sure what he was expecting...but this was not it! "I would have thought that you would be grateful that I gave you a second chance to live in a world without Voldemort--you're free now, which--by the way-- you have me to thank for."

"Do you wish me to kneel down upon bended knee Potter--and kiss your feet?" Snape said sarcastically.

"Go to hell Snape!" Harry yelled. Rage and disappointment swelled up inside him, and he felt an overwhelming sense of defeat. "And the only thing you can kiss--is my arse!" Harry said, eyes flashing in anger. "You are an ungrateful bastard--you know that Snape? Stay the hell away from me, and I'll stay away from you," Harry said through gritted teeth.

"That's fine by me Potter," Snape sneered. "Go live your life and I'll live mine." Snape searched the pockets of his robes for his wand, before he remembered that the Dark Lord had confiscated it.

"Looking for this Snape?" Harry asked mockingly, and pulled Snape's wand out of his jeans pocket, and threw the wand at the older man's feet. "I retrieved this from Voldemort's body for you, after I vanquished him". Harry eyes flashed with anger. "No thanks are necessary," he said sarcastically.

Snape glared at Harry disdainfully, and Accioed his wand to himself. With a smooth movement of the hand, Snape vanished the cauldron, the candles, and every last vestige of the Dark ritual that had been performed. He turned to Harry, and said "I suggest that you refrain from revealing to anyone the events that have taken place here--that you have dabbled in Dark Magic..."

As Harry watched Snape leave the Shrieking Shack, he felt an ache in the hollow place, where his heart used to dwell. Regret and disappointment washed over him; all the anticipation and excitement that he had been feeling over the past couple of days, evaporated into thin air...

Harry turned to Hermione and Ron, who had been watching the whole exchange with morbid fascination. "C'mon guys...we're finished here..." Harry said sadly. He started towards the door...

To be continued...


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