An Uncertain Future by Pandora
Summary: After the final battle, Harry goes back into Snape's memories. What he finds, shocks him and turns what should have been his happiest days, into a living hell.
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape Main Characters: Arthur, Draco, Dumbledore, Ginny, Hermione, McGonagall, Molly, Ron, Shacklebolt, .Snape and Harry (required)
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe
Takes Place: 8 - Pre Epilogue (adult Harry)
Warnings: Alcohol Use, Profanity
Prompts: Post-DH Sevitus
Challenges: Post-DH Sevitus
Series: None
Chapters: 33 Completed: No Word count: 157605 Read: 158635 Published: 27 Oct 2008 Updated: 01 Jan 2012
Unconditional Love by Pandora
Author's Notes:
Many thanks again to ObsidianEmbrace for betaing this chapter for me.

J.K. Rowling owns all characters.


Finding your soulmate is a rare thing, and when you find the person who completes your soul...you hang on for dear life.

anewwallqz3.jpg picture by PandoraSilk

 

Severus was quite right about Minerva's intentions, and if he had had an inkling of the lengths to which she would go to reunite father and son, he would have packed his baggage and left...never to return. Minerva had decided that, as Harry and Severus’ situation was entirely Albus’doing, a nice long chat with him was in order. She made her way up to his office, determination motivating her brisk pace.

“Ah…Minerva, you've decided to pay a visit to a lonely old man, have you?” Dumbledore inquired happily. It was rather lonesome as a portrait, with the only interaction, being other deceased Headmasters, who, in Albus’ opinion, were rather stodgy and irritable. They had not taken to death with quite the same panache that he had, after all.

“This is not a social call,” she replied coldly.

Albus was taken aback...he had not expected her less-than-cordial greeting. “Minerva, whatever is the matter?” he asked anxiously.

“I’ll tell you what the matter is, Albus. Severus and Harry’s situation,” she replied icily. “Your meddling has caused them both an enormous amount of grief, and it’s up to you to make it right.” Minerva said firmly.

“Severus has told me in no uncertain terms that he will not tolerate any further interference in his private affairs, Minerva,” Albus said with a pained expression. “I rather doubt that he will consider any advice that I may offer at this point,” Dumbledore said sadly.

“Then you must make him listen Albus, mustn’t you?” Minerva insisted stubbornly. “It's imperative that you convince him to seek a relationship with Harry. That boy deserves to have a family. You ignored my advice about his relatives when Lily and James died, but I will not allow you to do so again. You have continuously sacrificed that boy’s happiness for the greater good Albus...but no more. I will not allow you to. You owe them both an enormous debt of gratitude, and it’s time that you paid them back,” she insisted.

"I'll do what I can Minerva, but I'm making no promises," Dumbledore said hesitantly. "Severus is an extremely stubborn man. I'm not sure that it will be that easy to convince him that he needs a son in his life. As for Harry...well, he's very displeased with me at the moment." Dumbledore felt a stab of pain at the thought that he had alienated two of the most important people in his life, when all he had meant to do was protect them. Yes...perhaps he had been too consumed...too blinded by the intense desire to win the battle against Voldemort. He had somehow lost sight of what was important; that Severus and Harry were not simply warriors, nor soldiers, but human beings, with feelings and desires. Just when he had forgotten that, he didn't know, but Minerva was right...somehow Albus had to make it up to both of them.

"You have never failed to convince others to do your bidding Albus, and I don't expect you to fail in this," she said determinedly. "Good day." With that thought she left a thoroughly ashamed Dumbledore. Minerva hoped that her little guilt-trip had had the desired effect.

Of course Minerva realized that, as Albus' mobility was limited to his picture frame, that she would still be required to assume most of the responsibility in bringing Harry and Severus together, but Minerva had a plan. When Severus had reluctantly agreed to her demands, Minvera had checked off the first item on her list. Yes...her plan would come to fruition, of that she had no doubt. Minerva may have prided herself on being a noble Gryffindor, but there was most definitely some Slytherin blood coursing through her veins!

Although Minerva felt that she had made some progress in assuring that Harry and Severus would be forced to interact more frequently, she also knew that she had barely made a dent in the wall that separated them.

----

Severus thought about the conversation that he had had with Minerva. He wasn't quite sure he understood her motivation in wanting him to pursue a relationship with Potter. He had never thought that she had held him in high regard at all--just the contrary... he had always been under the impression that she had severely disapproved of him. Of course, his servitude to the Dark Lord, and his fascination with Dark Magic, had not endeared him to many, he was sure. Why then was Minerva so bloody determined to pressure him into a relationship with his son...when he had made it clear that he had not desired one.

Well...Minerva would be sorely disappointed when her plan failed, Severus thought maliciously. Severus felt a pang of...well, he wasn't quite sure what. Regret? Guilt? A pair of emerald green eyes came to mind, and he tried to dampen the shame that threatened to rise to the surface. Severus tried to quell the voice in his head that said Lily would be disappointed in him for making this choice...that Lily would want him to know his son. But I can't Lily...I don't know how...

----

Hermione and Ron had left for the Burrow last night to lend support to Ron's parents and to help them prepare for the funeral. The plan was for Harry to join them today, and he felt rather guilty that his first thought was how wonderful it would be to see Ginny again, though it was such a solemn occasion. As he grabbed a handful of floo powder and stepped into the fireplace, Harry's stomach fluttered with anticipation.

Harry was almost knocked over by Mrs. Weasley's plump figure as she threw her arms around his slender shoulders, and began sobbing. Harry looked helplessly over his shoulder at Mr. Weasley. "I'm so sorry about Fred, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said quietly. She continued to cry for several minutes, and then retrieved a hanky from her pocket, and began dabbing at her red, puffy eyes.

"He would be so proud of you Harry. He always considered you part of the family," she said, sniffling. She composed herself, and straightened her robes, although it was obvious that her control was hanging by a thread. "Would you like a tea, Dear?" she asked.

"Uh...yes please." Harry sat down at the large table, and Mr. Weasley did likewise. "Where are Ron, Hermione and Ginny, Mr. Weasley?" Harry asked casually, not really caring where the other two were.

"Ron and Ginny are out in the garden, setting up chairs for the ceremony," he whispered, turning his head to peek a quick look at Mrs. Weasley, who was absentmindedly pouring boiling water into the china tea-pot. "They should be in shortly. I'm not sure where Hermione is." Mrs Weasley poured some tea into Harry's cup with shaking hands. Mr. Weasley shot her a worried look, and turned back to Harry.

"Oh...alright," Harry said quickly. He couldn't still his rapidly beating heart, and somersaulting stomach. Harry had not been able to stop thinking about Ginny all night, and thought that he would lose control, if he didn't see her soon. Harry sipped his tea quickly, and rose from the table intending on going out to the garden to pry Ginny away from Ron, so that he could speak with her privately.

Suddenly...voices filtered in from the hallway. Harry twirled around and his heart skipped a beat...there standing in the doorway, looking like an angel...was Ginny. Ron looked between the two of them, and understood instantly.

With a wide grin, Ron asked, "Hey mate, wanna come help us in the garden?" He winked slyly at Harry, and Harry blushed. Harry nodded, and followed the two outside. Ron made an excuse to go see Hermione, who was upstairs speaking with Fleur, Bill's wife.

Harry and Ginny looked shyly at one another...

Ginny was the first to speak. "You were so brave Harry; I can't believe that you've defeated Voldemort." Ginny could feel the pride swell up within her, and her breath caught in her throat. It seemed forever that she had first laid eyes on him...she had been only ten years old, when she had first seen him standing there on Platform 9 and 3/4. Even then...she knew that she had loved him. Perhaps it had been a child-like adoration...a crush, but nevertheless, her heart had been captured the moment that she had stared into the depth of those emerald eyes. She had thought that he looked adorable with his messy black hair, and now...his hair was still messy, and she wanted desperately to run her fingers through it, and his eyes were still endless pools of jade, and she wanted to stare into them forever...

Harry had always been different from the other boys at Hogwarts; he was more mature, and incredibly humble. He was special...and he didn't even know it! He may not have been as tall, nor as well-built as the others. As a matter of fact...he was rather short, and finely built, but the other boys couldn't hold a candle to Harry, and Ginny was determined that she would never let him go again.

Harry wasn't quite sure who had made the first move, but before he knew it, they were in each others’ arms. He was running his fingers through her long silky red hair, which looked like it had flecks of spun gold woven into it, where the sun fell. As soon as their lips touched, the painful events of the past couple of days began to fade away.

They reluctantly pulled apart, and Harry couldn't help but stare at her. She looked so beautiful, with her face gently flushed, and her pale skin lightly sprinkled with freckles. Harry knew that he really shouldn't put off telling her the events of the past few days, but he was reluctant to spoil the moment.

Stop being such a coward, he admonished himself firmly. I've defeated the most evil wizard of all time, yet I can't tell Ginny that Snape is my father, and that I used Dark Magic, to bring him back from the Veil. On second thought...maybe facing Voldemort was the lesser of two evils! But Harry knew that Ginny would be so disappointed in him, and that thought alone gave him a pang of regret for his rash behaviour. Harry drew in a deep breath and braced himself for the worst.

"Ginny...I need to tell you something," Harry said hesitantly. Ginny looked at him expectantly, and Harry was once again overcome with indecision and anxiety. “We need to talk…privately,” he whispered.

"It sounds serious Harry," she said concernedly. "Let's go sit somewhere quiet, where we won't be disturbed." She took his hand, and led him out to a secluded, wooded area on the property. Harry erected a privacy spell, just in case. This was most definitely not a conversation he wished to share with anyone else. They sat beneath a tall oak tree, and there was an awkward silence as Harry attempted to search for the right words.

"Ginny," he began, "what I'm about to tell you, is going to come as quite a shock, but...I wanted to be completely honest with you," Harry said slowly. Ginny leaned in a little closer, and gently cupped the side of his face.

"I appreciate that Harry, and I just want you to know that you can tell me anything. We've been through too much...to let anything more get in the way," Ginny said seriously, looking deeply into his eyes.

"This is not something minor Ginny, this is-" Harry felt as though he was choking on his words. "You might not think of me the same way after this Ginny," he said worriedly.

"Harry...please tell me," she pleaded. "I care about you. Nothing will change that," she said sincerely.

If only that were true, Harry thought bitterly. "You remember when I told you that Snape gave me his memories...just before he died?" Ginny nodded her head. "Well...I decided to go back into the Pensieve one more time. I...just really wanted to see my mum," he said sadly.

"That's normal Harry. You never got a chance to know her,”Ginny said gently, lacing her fingers through his.

"Yes...but I discovered that there were a second set of memories. I guess I was too much in shock the first time, after just having overheard Dumbledore planning his own death," Harry said acidly.

"More memories? What kind of memories?" Ginny asked curiously.

"My mum and Snape were older, they were in seventh year, and her and Snape seemed to be...uh, more than just friends," Harry said delicately.

Ginny's jaw dropped and she stared at Harry in shock. You haven't heard the worst, Harry thought ironically.

"You mean your mom, and Snape...dated?" she asked incredulously.

Oh Merlin...this was going to be harder than he thought! "They didn't just...date Ginny. They were...uh... lovers," Harry stated bluntly.

"Oh!" she mouthed.

Oh hell! I might as well get it over with, he thought. "Snape is my father, Ginny," Harry said quickly.

"Wh-a-t!" she sputtered. The colour slowly drained from her face, and she shook her head. "No! Harry, you must be mistaken. I mean...Snape? Are you sure?" She asked in horror.

"Yes Ginny, believe me, I'm quite sure," Harry said with a firm nod. "There were also memories in the Pensieve...of Dumbledore telling Snape that he was my father. Dumbledore told Snape when I was in my fifth year."

"In your fifth year? But, why didn't Dumbledore or Snape tell you? Why did Snape continue to be so cruel to you?” Her eyes flashed angrily.

"Dumbledore claims that it was too dangerous for me to know, because Snape was still a spy. He had to pretend that he still hated me. He pretended too well, if you ask me," Harry said caustically.

"Oh Harry! I'm so sorry," Ginny said soothingly. You deserved to have a family, and they took it away from you. It just isn't fair,” she added angrily. “And Dumbledore? How long had he known?" She asked suspiciously.

“Since my mom was pregnant.”

“What!” Ginny said indignantly. “What was Professor Dumbledore playing at? Why would he keep you and Snape in the dark for so long? I just don't understand,” Ginny said, bewildered.

“He didn’t think that Snape was ready to be a father.” He was certainly right on that score, Harry thought bitterly. “My mum had just died, and apparently Snape was consumed with grief, and Dumbledore wasn’t really sure if Snape was still loyal to Voldemort,” Harry explained.

“I understand why Dumbledore didn’t tell Snape right away, but why wait till your fifth year to inform him, and then neither one of them saw fit to tell you…I mean, what was the point?” Ginny demanded, outraged.

“None of it makes sense Ginny,” Harry said with a small shake of his head. “Dumbledore always kept from me though, didn’t he?” Harry couldn’t help thinking of fifth year, and again he couldn’t help thinking that as much as Snape had played a part in Sirius’ death, as much as he himself had acted impulsively, that it all could have been avoided, had Dumbledore just told him the bloody truth about the prophecy. Once again, a wave of bitterness and anger towards Dumbledore washed over him.

Ginny was livid towards Dumbledore and Snape. How dare they play with Harry’s feelings in such a way? Harry deserved better than to be treated like a pawn in a chess game. Harry had grown up without a proper family, when, all the while...his own father was alive--and ignorant ofhis existence. She clenched her fists until her knuckles turned white. She was inclined to give Dumbledore’s portrait a piece of her mind, and she was just angry enough to give even Snape a proper dressing down…if he had been still alive, that is.

Harry couldn’t help but smile. Ginny looked beautiful when she was angry, he thought affectionately. One thing he had always admired about Ginny was how proud and fiercely protective she was over those she cared about. Harry reveled in the warmth that spread through him at the thought that she had put him in that category. His warm glow was short-lived however, when he realized that the news he was about to impart to Ginny, could very well cost him her affections. He set his jaw, and gathered up his courage.

“Ginny,” he interrupted her tirade, “there’s more.” Harry lowered his eyes…he couldn’t bear to see her disappointment in him.

Ginny halted, mid-rant, and her eyes widened as she stared at Harry. “More? More than your mum and Snape being a couple? More than you being Snape’s son?” She asked incredulously.

“Yes Ginny,” he whispered, "a lot more. After looking in the Pensieve, and after confronting Dumbledore about the whole thing, I was really mixed up. I was sad because James wasn’t really my father, but at the same time, I felt like I had been cheated out of knowing my real father. I know that it was crazy, because it was Snapeof all people, but I knew that he had loved my mum, and he died still loving her. I was furious at Dumbledore, because I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore, and it seemed to me that I wasn't the only one whose life had been turned upside down. Dumbledore had manipulated Snape too. I just thought that Snape had lost everything as well."

"But weren't you angry with Snape for treating you so badly Harry? Even after he knew that you were his son?" Ginny asked, still ticked off with the man.

"Yeah...I guess a part of me was, but Dumbledore didn't give him much choice, did he? I mean...he waited until Snape was a spy, until he was so involved in Voldemort's circle, that he would have been risking his life, and mine, had he acknowledged me. No...I don't blame Snape for that, at least. Dumbledore said that he had lied to protect us both, but I think that it all just fit in with his plans," Harry said resentfully.

"I'm so sorry Harry. It's just not fair that not only did you lose your Mum and James, but then you lost Snape too," Ginny said sympathetically.

Harry looked up at Ginny and said quietly, "that's just the thing Ginny, I did lose him...but I got him back. A lot of good that did me though," he said quietly.

Ginny gave Harry a strange look. "Harry, what on earth are you talking about? What do you mean that you got him back?" She asked worriedly. Ginny was beginning to think that maybe Harry was finally beginning to break down after all he had been through the past few years. After all...he had had a part of Voldemort's soul embedded in him; it must have taken its toll on Harry!

"I went to Snape's office after I found out that he was my father. I just kind of felt this need to know who I was...to find out more about Snape...the man, not the greasy git who's been a right bastard to me all these years. I just wanted to know what my Mum had seen in him; that maybe there was more to him than met the eye. I thought maybe there would be some letters, or even some photographs. Oh...I don't actually know what I was thinking Gin...I was just so confused," Harry said sadly. "I didn't find anything to do with my Mum, but I did find...something else," Harry said slowly.

"What do you mean Harry?" Ginny asked concernedly. Harry remained quiet. "Harry?" Ginny prodded. "Harry you are really starting to worry me. What on earth did you find?"

"I found a book, Gin. A book just like Riddle's diary."

Ginny paled and looked at him in shock. "You don't mean that the book was a Horcrux?" she asked, horrified. Harry nodded. "But...I thought that you had destroyed all of Voldemort's Horcruxes?" she asked in panic.

"I did ...but the Horcrux wasn't Riddle's. It was Snape's," Harry finally blurted out.

"Snape's?" Ginny asked disbelievingly. "But, how? Why? I don't understand." The blood rushed to her head, and she felt lightheaded. What on earth was Harry going on about? This conversation is just getting more and more bizarre, she thought anxiously.

"Yes Ginny...Snape created a Horcrux out of the Potions book that I used last year. I can't believe that all during sixth year, I was carrying a damned Horcrux around with me. No wonder I felt as if I was going out of my bloody mind." That realization only struck Harry...as the words left his mouth.

"Oh Merlin! I can't believe it!" Ginny shook her head in disbelief. "This is all just too strange!"

"You don't know the half of it Ginny," Harry said cynically.

She looked at him in alarm. "You mean there's more, Harry? Oh Dear! Ginny blanched.

"Yes Ginny there is. I used Snape's Horcrux to bring back him back from the Veil..."

Ginny stared at Harry in shock. "I must have misunderstood you Harry," she said in a daze. "I thought that you just said that you used Snape's Horcrux to bring him back from the Veil." Ginny's head was spinning. This couldn't be possible. Of all the crazy, reckless things that Harry had done over the years, this had got to be the most insanely wild idea that he had ever had.

"No Ginny, you didn't misunderstand me," Harry said quietly. Harry lowered his eyes. "I know that it was a crazy thing to do, and Snape's not even happy about it," Harry rambled on nervously, "as a matter of fact... he was furious with me for using Dark Magic, and he says he wants nothing to do with me, and -"

"Harry, stop!" Ginny interuppted. "Just back up a bit," she said breathlessly. "You're actually saying that Snape was dead, and now he-he's alive? And, you used Dark Magic to do it?" Ginny asked incredulously. "But wasn't that dangerous, Harry? I mean, Merlin knows what would have happened if something had gone wrong. What reason could you have possibly had to do this Harry? It was an incredibily foolish thing to do, dabbling in Dark Magic," She lectured him sternly.

"Yeah, I guess it was kind of a risky thing to do." Harry flushed slightly with shame. Harry realised with pleasure and relief that Ginny's reaction was one of concern rather than anger. A gentle breeze blew a few strands of her silky locks across her face, and Harry brushed them gently away. Again, desire overwhelmed him, and it took an enormous amount of self control to dampen his amourous inclinations. It's Fred's funeral, a little voice in his head told him firmly.

Ginny, on the other hand, seemed unaware of Harry's inner battle to tame his desires. She brought him firmly back to reality. "So, can we backtrack a bit here Harry? Whatever could have motivated you to bring Snape back from the dead?"

"Well...after I found out that Dumbledore kept all these secrets from me, I was really furious with him. It ocurred to me that Snape had just as much reason to be angry with Dumbledore, as I had. He had used us and kept us both in the dark until it was convenient for him. Think about it Ginny...if I hadn't gone back into the Pensieve, I still wouldn't even know that Snape is my father, and he only told Snape when I was in my fifth year," Harry fumed. Harry's anger towards Dumbledore had abated somewhat, however, since Snape's tirade towards Harry's ill-advised plan to return Snape from the Veil.

Harry always knew that his father had a volatile tempter, and was not the most reasonable person in the world, but Harry had never envisioned such a violent reaction from the man. In retrospect, Harry thought that he should have realised that Snape would not be pleased with Harry's interferance. After all...even if Harry had been grateful for Snape's guidance in defeating Voldemort, and felt a connection with Snape because of their mutual love for his mum, that didn't mean that the man would reciprocate his feelings of gratitude. Harry was quite embarrassed that he had deluded himself into believing that Snape would suddenly be anything other than the same miserable git that he had been for the past six years. Perhaps Dumbledore's actions in hiding the truth from both him and Snape were not so inexcusable after all.

Ginny was beginning to feel as though her brain was overloaded. "Harry, you mentioned that Snape wasn't too pleased with what you'd done; using Dark Magic. I mean...I can understand his point about that. You just don't know what the long-term consequences would be Harry." Ginny directed a stern glare at Harry.

Harry lowered his eyes. "Yeah, that's what Snape said too," he admitted reluctantly. Harry felt a wave of shame; it was more difficult than he had anticipated, to admit his error in judgement to the woman he loved. Harry swallowed the lump in his throat, and played nervously with a blade of grass. Harry dredged up every ounce of courage that he possessed and continued... "Snape was quite furious with me for using Dark Magic because he said that my soul could have been tainted, and that I could turn Dark. He said that I took an enormous risk."

Harry's heart was heavy as he continued, and he felt his eyes moisten as he again remembered the humiliation and shame he had felt at Snape's cruel words. "It was all for nothing Ginny...he wants nothing to do with me,” he said sadly. “It was all a stupid dream, and for what?" Harry said, angry with himself. " He accused me of bringing him back because I wanted a happy family reunion." Harry's cheeks burned in humiliation at Snape's mocking words ."He basically said that I had no business in bringing him back from the Veil, and that I only brought him back because I was stupid enough to believe that he'd want a father and son relationship with me," Harry finished in a small voice.

Ginny looked at Harry incredulously. "He actually said that to you? And what do you mean that he wants nothing to do with you?" she asked indignantly. "Snape should have been esctatic that you brought him back from the Veil...that you gave him another chance," Ginny said furiously on Harry's behalf. Ginny leaned forward and wrapped her arms gently around his shoulders. How dare that man hurt Harry again! After all that he had been through already, she fumed inwardly. After all that Harry had accomplished, he deserves some happiness, Ginny thought heatedly.

A warm glow began to melt the ice that had surrounded Harry's wounded heart, and Harry finally gave into temptation. He pulled Ginny close to him, his lips seeking hers in desperation. Embraced in a passionate kiss, Ginny and Harry lost all concept of time, until they heard their names called from a distance. They looked at each other in frustration, and rose to their feet, straightening their robes hastily. Harry cancelled the privacy spell, and they reluctantly made their way back up to the house. Harry and Ginny's hands were tightly clasped together, as if both of them were seeking an anchor to stabilize themselves for the ordeal ahead...

To be continued...


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