*“Hmm, difficult. VERY difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes. And a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?” Mused the hat.*

Talent? Courage? This is me you are talking about, right? And was that a rhetorical question?

“Umm…may I ask a question?”

The hat seemed startled. “Absolutely, dear child.”

“Is it true that all the dark wizards come from Slytherin?” Harry blushed, feeling stupid. I am talking to a HAT. Harry held back a snicker. If the Dursleys could see me, now…

“Not all, no. To be honest, most do. But that’s not the house’s fault by any means. It seeks to fix the sort of problems that lead people to turn dark. Slytherin’s students tend to be…misunderstood. Why? Would you like to be in Slytherin?”

“I just want to fit in here, that’s all. And not get kicked out "Everybody seems to think I’m something special. What if…” Harry gulped, terrified to admit his failings, even to a hat. Would the hat tell Dumbledore that Harry wasn’t really a great wizard? Would Dumbledore send him home? Then he lifted his chin. Who gives what they think? He spoke the last words of the sentence proudly. “…I’m not?” What if I'm just a normal, obnoxious little bugger of an eleven-year-old boy? Is that allowed?

”And there’s what I needed to know. Better be…SLYTHERIN!”

Abruptly all conversation in the room stopped. As Harry removed the enormous hat he looked around. Dumbledore was smiling widely and saying something to his neighbor. Whatever it was made the man scowl fiercely. Everyone else was watching him with curiosity. Then the Slytherins began to clap, and the rest of the room joined in. Just as Harry got up to join his house, putting the hat back on the stool, he heard the hat make one final comment:

“Just as a note, Harry. You will do better here if you stop hiding.”

“Hiding what?” responded Harry fiercely, and heard the hat's mental sigh.

“Very well. Go join your house.”

The tension left the room as Harry walked proudly to the Slytherin table, to be greeted boisterously by his House. The dark man next to Dumbledore had stopped glaring, and even nodded to him in greeting. Harry recognized it for what it was, though: on the chilly side of neutral. Harry made a mental note to be cautious, then pushed that to the back of his mind.

He soon found himself being introduced to his new year-mates. The boy to his left was Theodore Nott, a confident but weedy-looking boy with dark hair. To his right sat Blaise Zabini, who held himself tall, proud, and alert, watching quietly and seeming to analyze everything he saw. Across from him was Draco Malfoy, whom Harry had already met and found he disliked, along with Draco’s self-appointed bodyguards Crabbe and Goyle.

What odd names. Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. It’s like Natasha Fatale and Boris Badenov. Ladies and Gentlemen, please allow me to introduce, your villains! Further down the table sat Millicent Bullstrode and Pansy Parkinson, who’d obviously already made friends and mostly ignored the rowdy lot surrounding them. Their prefects also came and introduced themselves as Rosalind Lebeaux and Gregory Stone. Overwhelmed, Harry screwed up his courage to ask the question that had been bothering him since he’d watched Dumbledore talking to the strange man.

“Who is that man, next to Dumbledore?”

Prefect Stone responded, “The dark one? That’s our Head of House, Severus Snape. Don’t worry – his bark is worse than his bite. I wouldn’t cross him, though – he won’t hurt you, and he’ll help you out if you really need it, but he’s not going to let you get away with anything, either. To be honest, we’re all kinda scared of him. Just because his bark is worse than his bite doesn’t mean he doesn’t bite.”

THANKS. Was that supposed to reassure me? Didn’t you start that sentence with “Don’t worry”? Harry appreciated the attempt, though - at least Prefect Stone seemed okay.

“So what else is new?” Replied Harry bitterly, “I thought adults existed to make life difficult?” Prefect Stone looked at him curiously, and Harry gave him a cheerful grin, successfully neutralizing any suspicions the prefect may have harbored.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

“Congratulations, Severus, on your new ward!” exclaimed Dumbledore teasingly, “I’m sure Harry will be quite pleased to have a mentor such as you.”

Severus scowled darkly at the old man, before nearly panicking. There is NO way I’m prepared for this job. Mentor a child? See to his needs? Sure I can supervise a house, but…no. This is a BAD idea. I don’t even LIKE children. Especially THIS child.

“You do realize, Albus, that I hate children? That this is James Potter’s son, and that I’m a Death Eater?! You cannot really expect this to go well?”

Albus looked at him soberly. “You’re not trying to back out now, are you? After all, you agreed to this before.”

Severus glared into the old man's eyes.

“I did nothing of the kind. I agreed that Minerva should mentor the boy.”

But Severus didn't harbor much hope that the headmaster would let it go. Albus had a tendency to stick by his ideas. The more insane they seemed, the more he seemed to like them. Sure enough, the old man insisted. "You did. The fact that you thought that the boy would be in Gryffindor and Minerva would take over means nothing. Do you refuse now?” His voice held a warning, but Severus ignored it.

“To be perfectly blunt, yes. I do refuse. I will not be solely responsible for the wellbeing of that arrogant, bullying imbecile's arrogant, bullying whelp.”

Albus met his eyes, and Severus fought to keep his gaze steady against the silent reprimand. Damnit, old man I’m serious. But the disappointment in the headmasters’ eyes was clear, and Severus suddenly felt like he was fourteen again, and in trouble besides. He held the gaze for as long as he could, but, as usual, could not hold up against the headmaster's disapproval. His own gaze went from angrily defiant to almost pleading. Don’t make me do this. I can’t. You know I can’t. I hated Potter. How can I not hate the boy? How can the boy not hate me? You're not going to conquer more than twenty years of hate through sheer idealism.

Dumbledore’s gaze never wavered, however, and finally Severus couldn’t bear the eye contact any longer.

“Yes sir,” he mumbled resentfully, dropping his eyes, “I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you, Severus. That’s all I can ask.”

At that moment Severus noticed Potter’s eyes on him, and nodded a carefully neutral greeting, almost like one he would give a fellow Deatheater, or suspicious Order member: cool. He would not concede on one point, though.

“I will be strict with the boy. I cannot be expected to keep him alive if he won’t mind me.”

Dumbledore nodded agreement. “His discipline is up to you, Severus. I trust you.” He smiled at Severus, who again dropped his eyes, finding Dumbledore’s sudden approval almost as difficult to bear as his censure. I’m going to disappoint you, old man. I’m not up to this.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHHPHPHPHPHP

Meanwhile Harry was merrily chatting with his housemates, relieved to discover not only that they had readily accepted him, but also that they were truly pleasant to be around: intelligent and friendly, if mostly quieter than the members of other tables. Harry had worried that once separated from Ron, the loud redhead he’d met on the train, he’d be unable to find other friends. Ron hadn’t seemed to like the Slytherins, and Harry hoped that his sorting wouldn’t affect their relationship. Loud as he was, Ron had been amusing on the train, and there was no such thing as too many friends, as far as Harry was concerned. Harry also hoped that he’d be able to avoid the boy Draco for awhile; he’d been arrogant and unpleasant in Diagon Alley, and then actively friendly to Harry once he’d realized who he was. Finally, he’d gone and got a couple of brutish sidekicks. Harry was many things, but he wasn't dumb. Those factors, in combination with previous experience with his cousin, got his hackles up in a hurry. I will not be caught flatfooted here just because people come up and say hello.

Blaise and Theo both seemed really cool, though. Theo was loud and chatty, bragging good-naturedly about how well he’d done in his summertime lessons, and all the fun spells he’d learned, then promptly screwing one up and turning his own hair a blazing violet color. From this Harry learned that Theo was MORE than capable than laughing at himself. Blaise talked less but laughed pretty readily, and occasionally put in a serious comment or acerbic comment that make Harry think the two of them could get on quite well. Finally, though, the meal was over and everybody listened as Dumbledore made a speech about dangerous corridors and forbidden objects before dismissing them all to their dormitories. Harry was enchanted. Dangerous forbidden corridors, objects, a forbidden forest that was even called as much? And what kind of headmaster calmly threatened students with a most painful death if they disobeyed the rules? This place was wicked.  

HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP

When Harry arrived in the Slytherin common rooms with the other students, he was surprised to find it a warm, sunny place with fat comfortable couches and thick carpeting, all in a nice cool green. Harry remembered the garish colors assigned to the Gryffindors with a shudder. I’d go blind. The windows confused him greatly, though. I could swear that we were underground. Then he remembered the ceiling in the great hall and shrugged. Anybody who could do a whole fake sky could manage a couple of windows. He didn’t have much more time, though, before the prefects came to call everyone to order for a house meeting.

By the time Snape strode into the room, Harry and the rest of the first years were lined up in front of the rest of their House, backs straight and hands clasped before them, nervously shifting from foot to foot or twiddling their thumbs. All except Theo, anyway, whom Harry was rapidly discovering to be absolutely irrepressible. He stood in the proper position, but didn’t look remotely nervous: instead he tugged proudly on his new violet locks, wondering out-loud if he could repeat the spell that had caused it.

Harry also refused to be nervous. Snape was an adult like any other: he’d naturally hate Harry for existing, and probably punish him for it as well. What was the point in trying to please? And so Harry stood with his peers, prepared to ignore the litany of predictable rules that was sure to follow. Snape, however, seemed determined to intimidate; sweeping into the common room as if he were the king and they his lowly servants, and Harry adjusted his attitude accordingly, standing straighter. You don't scare me, asshole, thought Harry fiercely. Bullies attacked those weaker than themselves, so he would just have to not be weaker.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Severus Snape entered the Slytherin common room as he always did through his office door, walking rapidly up to stand in front of the ranks of students. His eyes immediately picked out Harry, who was staring at him defiantly, chin raised and jaw clenched. Just as I suspected. The boy’s an arrogant little bugger just like his father. Think your little game will bother me, do you? You are a child, and a bratty one at that. You are beneath my notice. And so Severus ignored the brat and gave his usual speech, emphasizing house loyalty and brotherhood, and the consequences if such was broken.

“I am well aware that there will be those of you who do not get along, and within these walls I am uninterested in these little squabbles. However, if the rest of the school should become aware of them you will find me very displeased. Like a family, I expect you to present a united front. Also like a family, I expect the older students to look after the younger, and the younger in turn to, within reason, respect and obey the older. If anyone abuses this authority I expect to be informed and there WILL be consequences for the perpetrator. There will be no hazing, here.”

So Snape wanted them to be a family? That was new one. And of course, you're the loving father, thought Harry sarcastically, Sure. Whatever you say.