The students had left two days ago but Harry and Draco truly did not mind the emptiness of the common room and castle for it was rather relaxing.

They were used to being alone anyway so it wouldn't have bothered them even if they had been the only students left instead of being two of twenty.

It was the quiet they looked forward to, not the Christmas event itself because they had never celebrated it before, although when they were younger they had found pinecones or various items and wrapped them in newspaper to give to the other on Christmas.

But that died down once they became all too aware that they would never really enjoy what the holiday had to offer. This year was expected to be different with the decorations and Christmas dinner, so in that sense it was already appearing to be their best Christmas yet and they looked forward to it in some way.

Harry awoke the following morning rather early and climbed out of bed. He put his glasses on and glanced outside at the snow-covered grounds for a while and liked how nice it all looked.

He wandered downstairs and placed a gift that he'd bought for Draco in Diagon Alley months ago under the tree, but paused as he spotted several wrapped gifts under the basically-decorated tree.

Harry gasped and jumped to his feet. He ran up the stairs and climbed onto Draco's bed, shaking him hurridly.

"Draco! Draco, wake up!" He said, a grin spread all over his face.

"What?" Draco groaned but only rolled over and tried to pull his blankets over his head but Harry grabbed them and tugged them away.

"Come on, you've got to see this!" Harry continued. "Draco, get up!"

Draco sat up and glared at him for a good minute until he noticed the grin on his brother's face.

"What is it?" He asked, eyebrows raising and he was awake now. "Oh, Happy Christmas."

"Come on!" Harry grabbed Draco's wrist and dragged him downstairs until he was able to shove him towards the tree. "Look!"

Draco yawned and glanced under the tree, his eyes going wide as he too let out a gasp.

"Happy Christmas" Harry returned while his brother crouched down and grabbed one of his coloured presents.

"But how? Who would sent us anything?" Draco grinned as well while sitting on a nearby armchair to unwrap his maroon gift.

"Oh look, it's from Mrs Weasley" He noticed a note attached and then pulled out a black jumper with a silver "D" on it.

"Ron's mum?" Harry asked and grabbed a simular package, seeing a red jumper with a golden "H" on it. "Wicked."

"I dunno if I'd wear it though" Draco glanced at the jumper but discarded it and reached for another of his presents while Harry did the same.

"It looks like some sort of cloak" Harry was saying but Draco was staring at the note attached to his green and silver wrapped gift.

"Draco?" Harry asked as his brother yelped and tore at his gift, pulling out a thick and ancient-looking book with a family crest on the front.

"Harry! I have a godfather, he sent me this...look!" Draco thrust the note at Harry while opening the front page of the book and read the neat handwriting on the cover:

<blockquote>"Property of Narcissa Malfoy".</blockquote>

Harry didn't like the sound of Draco having a godfather but tried to be happy for him while also being rather envious of the fact that his brother now had a piece of his family history to read about whilst he did not.

It was in these moments that he had to remind himself that they really were from different families at birth.

"Woah, that's an ivisability cloak" Draco finally noticed what Harry had draped over a chair...or what had been the chair when it was in sight. "Who sent you that? I read that they're really rare."

"It didn't say" Harry replied as he handed over the note and then returned to the tree where there were six more gifts. The next two were books from Hermione related to Quidditch and homemade food from Hagrid, which they ignored. The last two were simular to the first pair. Draco's was black with green ribbons and Harry's was skarlet with black ties.

Draco opened his first and frowned as the contents, finding a book or two, a candle, some weird objects and a quill.

"Who was that from?" Harry wondered with a curious expression.

"Aunt Andromeda" Draco frowned. "I didn't know I had anyone else out there. A godfather and an aunt?" He frowned.

"Yeah" Harry sighed as he started opening his gift but a note slid out and he picked it up to read:

"RJL?" Draco frowned as he read over the note and Harry eagerly opened his present. He then walked over to Harry to see what he got and saw a snitch with "J.P" engraved on the bottom as well as a book on "recreational charms for beginners" and a photograph.

Harry stared at the photograph and turned it over to see the names written on the back "James, Sirus, Remus and Peter".

"I'm guessing that's your dad and his friends or something" Draco said as Harry stared at it. "But cool, you got a snitch!"

"Yeah" Harry replied but his eyes were fixated on the photograph, staring at his father's grin and the way he ruffled the hair of a man beside him, Sirius.

After they had opened their gifts and discussed them for an hour or so, the boys made their way to breakfast and their grins stayed until they had finished eating.

There were a few students at the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables but only three at the Slytherin table although the boys sat alone at the Gryffindor table and looked around, seeing the joy in the others as their voices about their families and siblings drifted over.

Snape was one of the few left at the staff table and watched the boys as they walked in, looking thrilled and he felt a pang of something in his chest when he saw the Draco was clutching the book he had sent him.

But as they finished their meal, the boys began to become more aware of those around them and their joyous smiles began to fade.

They gathered their things and left the Great Hall shortly after that and Snape didn't see them again until he entered the hall for dinner that night, having been manipulated into attending the feast by Dumbledore who was still trying to take advantage of his presence during the holidays.

The four house tables were gone, replaced by a large round table that was enough to seat all that students that were staying and the few staff members that were there as well.

Snape seated himself between Dumbledore and a Slytherin 6th year and took a gulp of his goblet (wishing it contained something stronger than pumpkin juice) while the others started to arrived . He also glared at Dumbledore once he found that the boys were seated directly across from him but he refused to let it affect him.

Although he did notice how uncomfortable and distant they appeared during the celebration and whenever someone addressed them they seemed rather surprised by it. But their grins were set on their faces even as they dug into the food as though they hadn't eaten in weeks. And Snape found the event somewhat worth staying over the holidays just to see those boys laughing and enjoying themselves.

He could no longer deny that he cared something for them and actually felt guilty that he hadn't sent Harry a gift but was so unsure what to give him or if he should write a note etc. He was also not quite ready to part with any of his cherrished photographs of Lily and didn't want to confuse the boy as to why he had none of James (with the exception of one taken during their school years when he'd been able to dye the Seeker's hair green).

Snape stared at the boys for a moment, trying to imprint their laughing faces into his mind and long-term memory so that he could recall it clearly whenever he felt guilty of not taking them in or whenever he once again came to realise that he did care for them in a way and yet had no real involvement in their lives.

Dumbledore watched Snape and saw the saddened expression on his face and the way he excused himself before the meal was over.

He had been suspicious when the Christmas-hating man decided to stay over the holidays and now he was certain that the reason was sitting side-by-side and laughing at what a Ravenclaw had said about elves and mistletoe. But he said nothing and continued on with the celebration.

--

Snape walked down the stairs and into the dungeons where his private quarters were. He never liked to drink but allowed himself a single firewhiskey for the night and slumped into and armchair, gazing down at a picture of Lily's face as she held a toddler, thumb-sucking Harry in her arms. Her smile radiated and made her eyes glow while he tried to lose himself in it but it did nothing to ease the pain. He felt that it was something he always had to endure, always had to receive: pain, darkness, lonliness and regret.

Snape had tried to change that but after Lily had died, he couldn't see how he could ever feel the sense of happiness or fulfillment ever again.

When he saw those boys tonight, it reminded him of what he could of had, of what he'd easily lost without even getting a sense of it...and of the life he would never imagine that he could lead.

As he rested his head back against the armchair and allowed his mind to deaden to sleep, words echoed in his mind which would now repeat themselves each time he fell asleep with thoughts of the life he didn't have...