Harry was determinedly quiet for the next few days. He didn't speak to anybody, and seemed downright depressed. He had a bruise on his chin and rumors spread quickly that Ron had given him a good punch later on, but he hadn't. Ron was also quiet, and he watched Harry carefully, more worried than ever for his friend.

Draco had been right about drinking with an ulcer. After the potion had worn off, Harry was in worse shape than ever. There wasn't a moment that went by that Harry wasn't in agonizing pain. He wished desperately for some kind of relief and wished Draco would be able to secure more of the potion, but Draco had been unsuccessful.

Draco had been so amazed that Harry had hit Ron because he was sticking up for him that he had gone straightaway to pester Snape for some of the potion, but Snape had refused again, and when Draco went to nick some from the Hospital Wing he found the supply cabinet double locked.

"Maybe you could send some money by owl to an apothecary in Hogsmead for some," Draco suggested when he had come back empty handed.

Harry shrugged. "That's ok. Thanks for trying anyway." Draco bit his lip, worried about Harry. He had never seen him this depressed... he hadn't seen many people this depressed ever, not even himself.

"Did Ron hit you? That's what they're saying you know."

Harry shook his head.

"Who then?"

"He did... you know. Him."

Draco's eyes widened. "Snape?" he whispered, even though they were alone out on the grounds.

Harry nodded.

"Well, don't feel too bad. I get hit lots by my dad."

Harry looked up. "You do?"

"Sure, all the time... to be honest, it's kind of good to know I'm not the only one."

"At least he loves you though..."

Draco shrugged. "Maybe, but I don't think so. Sorry."

Harry nodded.

In detention Harry scrubbed the floors quietly without a word. He was slow and deliberate in his movements, no longer angry and rushed. Aside from the fact that he felt lethargic, it hurt for him to move too fast.

It had been a few days since Snape had hit him now, and he had grown more depressed each day. Severus had not failed to notice. He had decided to not taunt him or sneer at him any more for the time being. He was afraid that he had already pushed Harry over the edge.

It was Friday night and Harry was just starting to scrub the floors with the toothbrush. He had made it all the way down the hall and around the corner now so that he wasn't in sight of Snape's office at all, although it didn't help ease his heart any being a few more feet away from him... in all reality it felt like he was a million miles away from the man, and that perhaps they'd never really meet in real life.

Harry felt his stomach begin to churn and knew he'd better make for a bathroom soon. He didn't want to get hit again, so he decided he'd better ask for a break first.

He stood in the doorway quietly, and it was only a few seconds until he was noticed.

"Yes?" was Snape's curt response to Harry standing there, staring at his shoes.

"Can I have a bathroom break?"

Snape eyed him, wondering if he was trying to get out of detention a few minutes at a time. "You just started five minutes ago, did you not?"

Harry nodded, eyes still glued to his shoes.

"Then no. Go to the bathroom before you come next time."

"Please?"

"No. Go back to work. You may go in half an hour."

Harry bit his lip, feeling nauseous even now and hoping that he could bite back the sensation long enough to wait until he was allowed a break. Unfortunately for Harry he could not wait, and had only made it ten feet down the hall before he had lost what little dinner he had in the middle of the corridor floor.

Panicky, Harry pulled his wand out to clean it up, and had just vanished the mess when Snape appeared and saw him using his wand to clean the floor.

"Potter, I did not give you permission to clean the floor with a spell. You were to do it by hand." He began to walk forward, with no intention of hurting Harry, but Harry didn't see it that way. He began to back up, stomach still churning.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean, I wasn't-"

Suddenly his chest felt tight and it felt like he couldn't breath. He couldn't rid himself of the panicky feeling deep within him and at the same time he felt like he still needed to throw up some more.

Severus saw Harry tense noticeable at his approach, and when he was near enough to get a proper look at him he noticed how pale the boy's face was.

Suddenly Harry reached up with his free hand to cover his mouth and turned away, vomiting all over the floor. He fell to his knees and sobbed once, embarrassed and still feeling overwhelmed with a panic that he had never known. It was almost like he was frozen and couldn't move.

"Potter..." he waved his wand to clean up the mess and realized then that that's what Harry had done, was clean up barf off the floor, and that this was the reason he had needed a bathroom break.

"Why did you not ask to go to the Hospital Wing?"

Harry shook his head, unable to answer. "Please no.... don't make me."

Severus frowned as he reached down to lift the child up by the arm.

"Don't make you what?"

"There will be questions... I can't." Harry's emotions were running so raw now that he just felt like he wanted to explode with it all and die right there.

"You're obviously sick... what questions would there be about that?"

Harry shook his head, suddenly feeling cold and wrapping his arms around himself.

"It's not the flu or anything... I, it's been like this."

Severus narrowed his eyes, suddenly piecing things together and making the connection, albeit the unlikely one, that Draco had been asking for the ulcer potion for Harry.

"Come with me." He still had Harry by the arm, just to make sure he wouldn't run off, and lead him into his office, depositing him in the more comfortable of the two visitor's chairs.

He unlocked a tall cabinet against one wall and searched for the silvery potion he had kept in stock in case Draco's ulcer had returned from the year before.

"Drink this." Harry didn't question him and took the potion immediately and with such eagerness that Severus concluded he must have known what it was because he had taken it before, which seemed to somehow confirm the theory that Draco had indeed been helping him.

Severus sat down behind his desk and watched the look of relief spread over Harry's face, although the boy continued to look down at his lap.

"It hurts worse after you eat?" Harry nodded. "And you throw up often?" Another nod. Severus sighed. He knew what had caused Draco's ulcer... the constant pressure on him to spy for his father and to join the Dark Lord once he graduated, but what could be eating Harry Potter? He hadn't a clue.

"When did this start?"

Harry shrugged, but didn't say anything.

"Regular people don't get ulcers Potter... which leads me to conclude that you have worried yourself sick over something and given yourself one. This along with the fact that you suddenly turned into James Potter over a few months and began hitting your friends."

Harry was biting his lip now, and Severus noticed, thinking that it must have been painful for him to do so.

Inside Harry was more confused than ever. He was finally sitting there in his father's office, just like those other students had, and had a chance to tell him everything, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. What was wrong with him? Why was this so hard?

"Potter?" He noticed that the boy seemed to be tensing up again.

Harry reached up to shield his eyes with one hand and Snape knew he was crying. Suddenly uncomfortable, he wished the boy's own head of house was here with him because she would be more equipped and capable of handling this. He understood his Slytherins fine most days, but he couldn't hope to understand a Gryffindor on his best day, let alone one that he had hit just a few days before.

"Potter?" Harry sobbed once at the use of his false last name, unable to live with it any longer. He felt like everything had been building to a breaking point and this was it. He shook his head and sobbed again, head in both hands now and shaking violently as he let the tears flow freely, unable to stop them any longer.

Harry wasn't aware of it until he felt a hand on his shoulder, but Snape had moved to Harry's side of the desk now and was sitting in the other visitor's chair.

"Whatever it is Potter, it can't be that bad." He tried to think of what burdens the boy could be carrying... had he gotten a girl pregnant, like the fifth year in his house had confessed to a few weeks before? Had he joined the Dark Lord like Crabbe had confessed to last night? Had the realization finally hit him that he would have to murder or be murdered?

"My whole life, has been a wasted lie," Harry finally managed to choke out, confusing Severus even more. What was he on about? Now that Harry was there sitting in his office crying, a cord was struck in him and he remembered a time when Lily felt comfortable enough around him to cry and release all her burdens to him. She was the only Gryffindor he ever understood.

"I don't understand," he said with a much softer tone than he had intended to use... one he had only reserved for Lily Evans, the precious love of his life.

Harry shook his head. "I'm not Harry Potter," he told him, suddenly looking up and into his eyes, willing Snape to understand him. The will in the boy's eyes was so strong that before Severus knew what was happening, he was in the boy's mind, listening as aunt Petunia let slip that he was not the son of James Potter.... trying to fight back as Uncle Vernon beat him to a bloody pulp for putting a hole in the kitchen wall... feeling what Harry felt as he tried to royally piss of the father that didn't give a crap about him... dying inside as he watched others have what he could not.

Unable to stand the pain any longer, Severus forced his way back out of his son's mind, horrified, amazed, and in awe all at the same time. He had a son? Harry Potter was his son? His son could do legilimency?

He sat back in his chair, suddenly exhausted from feeling months of the boy's pain all in one stretch.

Harry was looking down at his shoes again, still crying, albeit quieter now.

"Why did you not come to me with this?" Severus asked quietly, still in awe at all of the information and raw emotion he had just taken in.

Harry shook his head. "I, I didn't know how... I was so confused. You, you left me there with them... you left me to get beaten and forgotten every day... you hate me." Harry choked all this out, sobbing hard again now, unable to deal with it anymore. He hurt so much inside that he was sure he was dying slowly from the inside out.

"No..." Severus was shaking his head. "I didn't know. I didn't know you were mine. I didn't know the life you were living... I thought you looked so much like James... I never thought to compare you to myself."

Almost too quiet to hear, Harry said through the tears, "That's what Draco said."

Severus tried to make sense of that. "Draco has been helping you? He tried to get ulcer potion for you. Why?"

Harry shrugged and tried to calm himself further so that he could speak somewhat coherently. "I dunno... he saw me barfing all over the place and he guessed, and then he wanted to know why. And, and I told him and he wanted to help. And then he was so nice, and Ron said something bad about him and I didn't mean to hit him I swear!" Harry said this all so quickly and in such earnest that Severus was even more ashamed now that he had provoked the boy... his son, into trying to hit him. He himself could not even begin to understand the pain and confusion the boy had been having to deal with on his own, and might not ever understand it because of the complexity of the situation.

"Harry," his voice was soft again, as if he were speaking to Lily. Surprised by the tone and the use of his first name, Harry looked into his father's eyes. "I was wrong to hit you, and I want you to know that I will never, ever do that again, for any reason. You do not deserve to be hit, and do not deserve to be treated as I have treated you these past seven years. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I-"

Harry didn't let him finish his sentence. Suddenly he was in his father's arms sobbing again into his chest. While surprised, Severus allowed himself to embrace his son... the son he never knew he had, but found himself wanting to comfort desperately now, as if it were Lily herself in his arms. Somehow knowing that it was part him, and part Lily sitting there sobbing into his chest made him feel connected in a strange way to the world around him... suddenly things had meaning for him now. And how strange it was to suddenly have meaning.

"Let it all go Harry... it's ok. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. Let it all go."

And Harry did.