Harry got into his four-poster and pulled the curtains closed, not bothering to get undressed or kick his shoes off. It was only a minute though before Ron had pulled one of the curtains back a little and poked his head through.

"Hey, I thought we were done with all of this brooding James not telling his best mate what's going on stuff."

Harry cast a tired glance at his friend. "Sorry, I'm just not in the mood to talk."

"Because of Snape?"

Harry closed his eyes. "Ron, not tonight... please?"

Without another word Ron backed his head out of Harry's bed and left him to his thoughts. Harry knew he was supposed to be occluding his mind right now, but how could he when he was being eaten alive inside by thoughts that demanded attention.

Just when he thought he had gained an ally... more than that, a relative that might someday really turn out to be his father instead of his nemesis, Harry found out that it didn't really matter. What good was a father to him if he didn't understand? No better than Ron or Hermione, that's what. Yes, they were good friends, but he needed more than friends now. He wanted more. There really wasn't anybody who understood him well enough that he felt he could talk things out to. An unpleasant thought occurred to him as Draco popped into his mind. Perhaps Ron was right, and Harry would indeed switch sides, at least in Ron's eyes. Harry thought that there was one person who understood him, but Ron would never understand if Harry really got to know Draco and become friends with him. Snape being his father was something he couldn't help, but friends were like family that you chose.

Harry sighed and rolled onto his side. How was his father supposed to understand him if he couldn't understand why his past life didn't matter to him? It couldn't matter to him, and that was it. If it mattered then it was important, and if it was important, than it was something to feel grief over. Harry didn't want anymore grief in his life, so he chose to ignore the things that had happened. It was how he survived all those years of harsh treatment. And now here his father was trying to tell him that these things were important and that they did matter. He didn't want to think about it anymore.

Remembering that he was supposed to think of the white light before he went to sleep, Harry tried to conjure the brightness that would force any intruders out, but couldn't. His mood wouldn't allow for it. Instead he allowed a calming darkness to fill his mind. Darkness was something he knew how to deal with... something he had been dealing with for the past few months trying to sort this whole Snape business out.

Mind blank, Harry fell into a dreamless sleep, although when he awoke, he got the feeling that it had been anything but peaceful.

In the morning Harry left the dormitory without Ron or Hermione. He waved a feeble hello to Ginny when she tried to say good morning, but was in a hurry and didn't stop to chat with her. Instead Harry made his way to the Entrance hall very early in the hopes of catching Draco. There was no one in the Great Hall yet, so Harry waited outside, leaning on a pillar with the head of a lion on top. After what seemed like a long while a few students filtered into the Great Hall, and a tired looking Draco was one of them.

"Draco." Harry stepped forward when Draco had nearly walked past because he hadn't noticed him.

"Hey," Draco said, looking more awake and pleased. He had felt so nosy since finding out about Harry and his head of house, and he was more than pleased to get any information he could out of him. Not that he would use it, but he was certainly curious how this whole Potter Snape thing was going to work out.

"Want to sit together at breakfast?"

Draco shrugged. "For a little while."

They walked into the Great Hall, and took a seat at the very end of Gryffindor table, the farthest from the staff table. This way nobody would bother them about Draco being a Slytherin at the wrong table.

"Looks like you didn't get any sleep last night. What happened?" Draco asked as he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

Harry shrugged. "He wanted to see what my life had been like."

"And?"

"I showed him, but it wasn't pretty."

"What, did he get angry or something?"

"No no, nothing like that... he just... doesn't understand."

"Hm..." Draco thought as he chewed his eggs, wondering at the extra special spice that seemed to end up in Gryffindor's eggs.

"What part doesn't he understand? My father said that he didn't live such a perfect life himself before Hogwarts. Told me he saw his house one time... it was a shack."

Harry frowned. What did that mean? If his father had lived any form of his life then he should understand.

"I told him none of it mattered. He didn't get it. He kept trying to tell me that it did matter."

Draco spooned another bite of egg into his mouth and chewed carefully, as if he was suddenly treading on unstable ground. "That's hard to think about. Maybe he doesn't want to think about his own past or something... I dunno. Maybe he thinks if it matters to you then it's ok that it matters to him?"

Harry set his toast down. "What do you mean?"

Draco shrugged and watched warily as a first year Slytherin entered the hall and didn't notice him. "I don't know how to explain it to you. I get what you're saying... if it doesn't matter to you then it's no big deal and kind of seems like it didn't happen... I'm the same way. But what if it does matter to him? Maybe he can't get things out of his mind like we can, you know? To me finding out about you... was kind of like finding the only other person in this place that understood. Maybe that's all he wants."

"He wants somebody like him?"

"I dunno." Draco was standing from the table now. "I gotta go or they'll have a fit," he nodded his head towards a group of fifth year Slytherins entering the hall now. "Find me during break if you want. We can get out of the castle for a little while or something."

Harry nodded as Draco moved off. He almost didn't notice that Ron had entered into the Great Hall now and was walking towards him.

Draco's plate and glass vanished when Ron sat down in his place across from Harry.

"Hey, what's that all about?" He had a look on his face that said he was clearly disgusted.

"Nothing, he wanted to talk for a minute so he sat with me."

"But he's not getting you potion anymore, right? Because Snape's making it?"

Harry nodded, and in a vain attempt to change the subject, he said, "Thanksgiving is tomorrow night... can't wait until the feast."

"You're changing the subject Harry."

Harry set his fork down and looked across the table plainly at his friend. "Why do you care so much who I'm friends with? Why can't I be friends with whoever I want without you jumping all over me for it?

Ron frowned. "Because I'm your best mate, and you're not yourself. You're forgetting all the rotten nasty things those two have done to us over the years."

"Those two?"

"Malfoy and Snape."

"Well it's not like I have a choice about being a Snape Ron," Harry said, starting to feel irritated. "I can't help who my mother got together with before I was even born."

"Don't say that Harry. You're Harry Potter, not Harry Snape."

Harry stood up and clenched his fist. "This is why I don't talk to you anymore. You don't understand. You've had a family your whole life... brothers, parents, cousins... I haven't. And now I find out I do have family and you jump all over me for trying to figure things out. I am myself Ron, who else could I be?" With this Harry walked away before he ended up breaking Ron's nose again. It was a strong urge that he had but he didn't want to get pushed around by his father again, even if Snape said that he would never do such a thing again.

So far this was turning out to be a lousy morning.

Ron seemed to be steering clear of Harry for the rest of the day, and all the way through the feast the next night, but Harry wasn't sure what he thought about it. On the one hand it was nice not having Ron around to be worried about all the time, because he didn't like feeling anxious that his friend was judging him, but on the other hand he was his best friend and he didn't want to lose him and on some level it worried him anyway now that his friend was avoiding him. At least he still had Draco he thought, who had now informed him with certainty that they were sixth cousins on his mother's side.

"That means I have to get you a Christmas present now," Draco said after he swallowed a large bite of turkey at the feast. He and Harry were sitting at the far end of Gryffindor table again amongst looks of disgust from the other houses.

"Why's that?" Harry asked, feeling relieved to be sitting with somebody who understood him to some extent.

"Because we're family now... mother always insists every year that we buy something for every family member."

Harry swallowed hard. "You didn't tell anybody about me and Snape did you?"

Draco shook his head. "I'm not stupid Potter. I know what will happen if the Dark Lord finds out there is a connection between the two of you. I like Snape, and I'm not going to risk his neck."

"What about me?" Harry asked in a mock hurt tone.

"Well your neck is already on the chopping block," Draco said with a grin. "So no need to protect it."

Harry reached up and felt the back of his neck, suddenly not liking the image that had been put into his mind. He had been so preoccupied with other things lately that he had not had much time to think about Voldemort being after him.

"I don't know that much about you," Harry told him. "What if I get you something really awful?"

Draco laughed. "I've seen the clothes you wear. Where do you propose to get the money to buy me anything? Just forget about it Potter."

Harry stabbed at a piece of roast chicken with his fork irritably. "I've got money. I just never get the chance to go buy new clothes with it. Whoever I go to Diagonalley with is always rushing me around to get my supplies and then leave, and I haven't been allowed in Hogsmead for the last two years." Since Voldemort had been loose Harry had been banned from going to Hogsmead along with the rest of the students.

Draco rolled his eyes and said in a long drawn out way, "Mail order. Ever heard of it?"

Harry pointed at him with his fork. "Keep it up and I won't let you sit here anymore."

"Let me? I could be having dinner with my own house you know, but I thought you wanted somebody to talk with." It was almost a threat to get up and leave, and Harry took it. He did want somebody to talk to who understood, and Draco was it.

"I have to go back and get more potion tonight," Harry said dully, looking down at his almost empty plate and trying to change the subject. Draco allowed the topic change.

"Better to get it than suffer."

"It's just awkward is all. I wish it wasn't."

"Well yeah, how can it not be awkward? Can you imagine if I found out that my true father was somebody like... Arthur Weasley? Ugh!" He stuck his tongue out and made a face. "I'd be sitting there in that house of theirs fumbling all over myself not knowing what to say to people like that."

"You've been to the Burrow?" Harry asked curiously.

"Once," Draco said glumly. "We are related, however distantly. Fifth cousins or something... I dunno. Mother made me go with her when I was small. Said she needed to talk to Mrs. Weasley about something. I think she was asking them not to come to a big reunion we were hosting at the manor."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Does that mean I'm related to them too?"

"Unfortunately," Draco drawled after he swallowed a bite of food.

"Well, not unfortunately for me," Harry said. "I've never had a real family... even if me and Ron are tenth cousins twice removed that's still something."

Draco sighed. "You're strange Potter."

"Yeah, I'm not the only one." Harry threw an olive across the table and Draco laughed as he dodged to miss it. From down the table Ron gave a disgusted sneer, and didn't notice the Potion's Master and Headmaster sitting at the Head table viewing the pair of new friends getting ready to start a food fight. Severus wondered at how quickly the two had become friends, and Dumbledore wondered what had sparked the friendship in the first place. His Potion's Master had not yet informed him of current revelations and events, but he did have an inkling that something was going on.

With a promise from Draco to find out just how he and Ron were related, Harry left the Great Hall half an hour later for Snape's office in high spirits. Suddenly he was feeling like he was a part of something. What it was exactly, he didn't know. Somehow being related to somebody other than the Dursley's however made him feel good inside... connected and wanted. Even just being related to Draco Malfoy as sixth cousins or whatever was enough to spark some kind of feeling of unity within him.

Unfortunately for Harry, his high mood would not last throughout the night. Starting with a knock on the Potion Master's office door, Harry's mood declined rapidly.

The door opened and Snape stood there with a bottle of Potion in his hand. He stepped aside to allow Harry in, and closed the door.

"Thanks," Harry said gratefully, taking the potion and uncorking it. Severus nodded.

"How was the feast?"

"Er... good I guess." He swallowed the potion and remembered what Hermione said about each dose costing a small fortune.

"I saw you and Mr. Malfoy together... throwing olives." The last bit seemed... odd? Forced? Dangerous? There was something in the man's tone that set Harry on edge. Why was Snape watching him at meals?

"Yeah..." Harry wasn't sure what to say to get away from that tone his father had used.

"I did not realize that your Head of House did not go over proper etiquette during meal times."

Harry frowned, remembering McGonagall's long drawn out speech from years ago when he had first arrived. It was only two olives. True, Draco hadn't thrown any, but it was only in fun.

"She gave us the speech," Harry continued cautiously, not sure that he liked where this was going.

Snape sighed as he took back the empty potion phial that Harry handed him.

"It may be prudent to follow such rules. I do not wish to see you in any more trouble."

Now there was a new feeling in the pit of Harry's stomach. It wasn't the potion or the ulcer, but it was definitely uncomfortable. Was Snape telling him that he was going to punish him? Was he telling Harry that he was embarrassing him? Harry didn't know, but he thought that Snape had no right to either punish him or feel embarrassed by him. By all rights he'd only been his father for a couple of weeks now, and that didn't give him the right to anything except speak to Harry as far as Harry was concerned.

"You mean you don't want me to embarrass you," Harry said flatly, crossing his arms.

"That is not what I said," Severus told him, although thinking that the boy had nailed it dead on.

"No, but it's what you meant. You know, nobody even knows that you're my father, so you can stop worrying about being embarrassed by my bad table manners."

Harry turned to leave but a hand was once again holding him back by the wrist.

"It would not be a good idea to continue to display such an attitude around me... Harry," Severus said as calmly as he could muster. He did not want to fight, but the boy's attitude was grating on his nerves.

Now there was a definite fire and something in him playing to the beat of rebellion. Harry was having a hard time fighting it. Where did he get off telling him what to do?

He wrenched his wrist free of the loose grip and said, "Or what, you'll toss me away again? I'm 17, it's not like it would matter." Even while he said it, trying to remind his father that he was an adult and could not be told what to do, Harry knew that it did matter, at least to him. He did not want to lose the feeble relationships he had gained. He did not want to lose those connections that made him happy and made him feel like an important part of something. He did not want to lose his father.

Severus stood there, wondering what he could say with any kind of calm in his voice that would not escalate the situation. Why was Pott... Harry so angry? Had he truly not had any discipline growing up? Or had he been so over-disciplined that he was desensitized to it now? Thinking of nothing he could say without shouting, he decided to say nothing at all. Harry seemed to be thinking too, and after nothing more was said for a minute, Harry finally left, and Severus let him.

Damn, but this was so much harder now that the boy was his to deal with. Somehow it would have been easier if Harry was still just the bloody-boy-who-lived-to-be-a-pain-in-his-backside. If that had been the case then he would have given him detention for his cheek without hesitation. But no, now he had to deal with the boy's emotions and take into account the damage he might do to their fragile relationship if he said the wrong thing.

Wondering about how he could find out what was going on in Harry's mind without asking him and making it seem to Harry that he was prying, Severus thought to ask Draco and see if he would divulge anything. That would have to wait until the morning however, and he had grading to do in the mean time. Reluctantly he sat down behind his desk and pulled out a stack of papers. This was turning out to be a lousy holiday.

Ron shot Harry a dirty look as he climbed into the tower that night, but Harry chose to ignore it as Ginny came over to him and tried to strike up a conversation.

"Did you like the feast?" She asked him.

Harry shrugged, trying hurriedly to rid himself of his anger over what had just happened in Snape's office. He had a soft spot for Ginny since they'd dated the previous year, and he didn't want to be angry around her. "Yeah, I guess it was ok," he said trying to sound happy but failing. She noticed.

"What's wrong? I noticed you and Ron have been... well, off. Are you angry with each other?"

"What makes you say that?"

She looked across the common room and nodded towards where her bother still sat glaring at them. "He's over there shooting fireballs out of his eyes at you."

Harry turned around and glanced, suddenly alarmed, and then turned back around. "Oh," he said, realizing that she had only been joking... well, sort of. It was a pretty nasty glare. "He's angry about some stuff."

"Like?"

"Er... I don't think I'm supposed to tell you." Suddenly he wanted her to know everything. They had been very close before he had broken it off with her, feeling that she was unsafe as long as Voldemort was out for his blood.

She sensed that he wanted to talk and wondering if it was ok, she took his hand and lead him towards the portrait hole. Pleasantly surprised by the contact, Harry allowed himself to be lead out into the corridor, where he and Ginny sat on the floor next to each other with their backs against the wall.

"I'm here for you, you know that right?"

Harry nodded. Privately Hermione had informed him that Ginny had refused to date anyone else since they had broken up, and that she had been very concerned about him these past couple months, just as Ron and Hermione had. Unlike Ron and Hermione though, Ginny had given him his space, something he would be eternally grateful for.

"I know, thanks."

"Is Ron mad about something that happened between the two of you, or you and Draco or..."

"Me and Draco?" Harry questioned.

"Well you two are... dating, right?"

Harry choked on some spit and shook his head. "No! What made you think that?" He looked at her incredulously.

"Well, you were so... moody... and then you were hanging around with him... and after you'd broken up with me... Well I dunno," she said suddenly a bit loud, realizing by his reaction that she'd been wrong in her assumptions. "I guess I was wrong."

Harry let out a long sigh. "No, I still like girls." He glanced at her and said more softly, "I still like you."

She was biting her lip now. Truthfully Harry had picked up the mannerism from her. "Well," she said cautiously, "what's bother Ron?"

Letting his head fall back against the stone wall, Harry said, "Me and Draco are friends... well, actually we're cousins... kind of."

Her eyes widened and she leaned forward a little bit, interested in this new revelation. "Cousins? How?"

"My dad," Harry said warily, not wanting to think about Snape right now. "I er... well you can't tell anybody any of this," he said suddenly, and she nodded. He knew she wouldn't anyway, but he was worried that she'd reject him just as Ron had started to. Somewhere deep down he still held some kind of hope that they would get back together after this whole Voldemort business was over with.

"My dad isn't James Potter," Harry told her quietly, looking straight into her eyes because he wanted to judge what her reaction would be. She didn't answer, just sat listening attentively. "Don't laugh because I'm going to tell you the truth... It's Snape."

"Oh Harry," she said quietly in awe. "Are you sure?"

Harry nodded and went on to tell her about how he had found out and how he had wanted to make Snape pay for his pain.

"I had no idea. I'm so sorry. You could have told me and I would have been there for you."

"I know. I just needed to figure things out first. I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore."

"You're still just Harry," she said quietly. "My Harry," she added, wondering what he would say to that.

He looked into her eyes again, something squirming inside his chest waiting to burst out. It was that warm feeling he got whenever she caressed his hand, whenever they kissed, and whenever she caught his eye passing in a corridor or sitting in the common room. If he could, he would hold onto that feeling forever and never let go.

"Ginny, I..." he wasn't sure what to say. "I never wanted to break up with you. It's just so dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt. I couldn't handle that." He was the one biting his lip now.

"I don't plan on getting hurt," she told him gently, holding his hand now.

"I know, but neither did my parents... parent I mean. You have no idea how strange this is Ginny. You have no idea how strange it is to still think of James Potter as my father, but to know at the same time that he's not. And now Snape's trying to tell me what to do, and Ron's angry at me because he thinks I'm changing sides, and Draco's being so nice to me... it's all so confusing. Sometimes I just feel like I want to rip my hair out."

She squeezed his hand now and the confused chaotic feeling was ebbing away. God how he loved it that she could make that happen.

"Let me be there for you Harry," she said, leaning into him a little now. He wrapped one arm around her shoulder.

"You sure you want to date me? I mean, we are seventeenth cousins or something," he said with a small laugh.

"Mom and dad are eighth cousins," she said nonplussed.

"Oh, guess you don't mind then," he said, squeezing her tighter.

"I just want to be with you," she said softly into his ear.

Harry nodded. "Me too."

Suddenly nothing else that had happened earlier seemed to matter anymore. This was turning out to be an amazing holiday.