Harry was in a mood. There was no other way to say it, and his friends didn't know if they even wanted to try. It was the second week of term, and everybody had noticed by now that Harry Potter was no longer friendly and sociable. Ron and Hermione had spent long hours discussing Harry and what was going on, and had come to the conclusion that something had happened over the summer, but he would never tell them.

So far Ron had had to hold Harry back three times from fighting with Draco, who was also in a "mood", (although that was a different story altogether), had seen Harry kick over two trash cans, and had heard that Harry had exploded at a third year Hufflepuff for no reason at all, sending the boy away in a fit of tears. Hermione had also seen Harry kicking things at random, and had even spied him punch a wall in an empty corridor when he thought nobody was around. To say the least, Ron and Hermione were at a loss for what to do for their friend. He had gone away on summer holiday Harry James Potter, and had come back James Harry Potter, or something like that... they still weren't exactly sure. Harry had been quiet on the train ride to the castle except to tell Ron that he wanted to be called James and he didn't want any questions about it. Ron had tried to ask him about it later, only to be given a glare that even Snape himself would have been proud of.

Students were not the only ones to notice Harry's change in mood, although none of the staff seemed too keen on questioning it seeing as how Harry was a seventeen-year-old, hormone filled boy with a death prophecy hanging over his head. Only Severus Snape seemed to be growing tired of the boy's fits of rage and outbursts in the halls. Even by the boy's handwriting on the assignments he turned in he could tell he was angry about something, but God only knew what the spoiled brat was up in arms about now. He too might have been willing to let it slide only because he had been instructed to go easy on the boy before the start of term by the Headmaster himself, but after Harry stormed out in the middle of his lecture one day without a word, he decided to take action, fed up with the cheek and audacity the little whelp had been displaying.

"Potter!" He was storming out into the hall after him, although why he bothered to waste his time he couldn't figure out himself. The brat kept walking and he was tempted to hex him senseless for ignoring him.

"Harry bloody Potter! Get back here this instant!"

Harry froze at being addressed as such. His fists were clenched at his sides, and the Potion's Master just willed the boy to do something stupid so that he could sentence him to a month long detention.

"Here, now," Severus ground out through gritted teeth, pointing to a spot on the floor in front of him.

Harry suddenly spun on his heel and marched back to his angry professor, standing in exactly the spot he was told to, and glaring him down. Severus was surprised because he had never been treated thusly by anyone, let alone a student.

"What?" Harry spat.

Severus narrowed his eyes. "You do not storm out of my class unless I dismiss you Potter. And you can just schedule yourself in for detention for the rest of the week for the disrespectful tone you've taken of late."

"Pst," Harry scoffed and cocked a grin as if he thought it was funny. "Yeah, whatever."

Severus raised both his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "You heard me."

Taking a deep breath to calm the rage within him, Severus wondered that the boy was still standing in front of him and had not already be splayed out on the ground by his fist. It was a testament to the inner will he had built up over the years of serving two masters that the boy was even still alive.

"Oh, I heard, and you can schedule yourself in for another detention your highness."

Harry shook his head with another twisted grin on his face. "Yeah, I'll do that. And what time would that be? I'd like to know so I can make a fashionably late entrance... you know how us Potter's are... being royalty and whatnot."

Unable to control himself any longer Snape grabbed Harry by the collar of his robes immediately and tried to drag him down the hall, surprised by the force with which he was forced to use. While Harry was easily the smallest boy in his year, he seemed to have gained some muscle over the summer and was putting up a good fight. Neither of them saw the astonished students standing outside the classroom door watching as Snape haphazardly dragged Harry down the hallway and out of sight. Even Draco's mouth was hanging open in shock.

"He's brave," Neville whispered.

Draco shook his head. "He's stupid," he corrected him. He himself had once disobeyed his head of house and had become a little too cocky for the man's liking. He had spent weeks cleaning dungeon floors and old potion's jars until the wee hours of the morning, and had since learned not to cross the man.

"Get off! Get off!" Harry half shouted as he struggled with the man all the way up out of the dungeons and then up a flight of stairs to the first floor. Harry thought he would be dragged all the way to the Headmaster's office, but apparently he was struggling too hard and Snape could only make McGonagall's office. He kicked the door open to Minerva's surprise and dragged Harry in, throwing him into the room. Harry knocked hard into a desk and almost fell over backwards, but managed to catch himself, looking livid and giving an icy glare to Snape, the bane of his existence.

"What on earth is going on Severus?" Minerva asked, standing from behind her desk.

Severus pointed a finger at Harry. "You had better get your brats under control Minerva," he half spat, meaning no disrespect for her, but being so angry at Harry that he couldn't help it. "He's been assigned two weeks of detention with me but I'm adding another two because I had to drag the whelp all the way up here with him kicking and fighting. He's lucky I don't have him thrown out on his scrawny ass."

Her eyes were wide, wondering what on earth had happened to get Severus in such a state. She had seen him angry before, but even in the most dire situation he had been one to keep his cool and never lose composure.

Before she could ask anything else about the incident Snape had disappeared out the door, leaving Harry to explain himself to his head of house.

Harry slumped down into the student desk in front of hers and ran a hand through his messy hair. "M'sorry," he said, trying to calm himself.

"Well you had better be Mr. Potter. That kind of disrespect will not be tolerated, not against any student or staff member, let me assure you. Your behavior in the past two weeks has not gone unnoted. I have no idea what has gotten into you but I suggest you figure it out before Severus insists that you be expelled."

Harry ran his hand through his hair again. "I'm sorry, really. I didn't mean to get in trouble like that."

McGonagall sighed. "Well you have a months worth of detention to be sorry about it Mr. Potter. I suggest you temper your emotions before you earn yourself any more trouble. You may return to your common room. When you're not in detention or class, or meals, I expect you to be in your common room, am I understood?"

Harry nodded, not wanting to disrespect her in any way. She had never done anything unkind to him after all... had never treated him like a worthless piece of trash, left to be picked up by the garbage men and taken to the dump...

In the empty Gryffindor common room Harry sat in the best chair by the fire with one leg over the arm of the chair, waiting for his friends to get back from classes. He had no intention of going to Charms or Herbology that afternoon after he had been made a fool of by the worthless Slytherin Potion's Master. There had been no need to drag him up through the castle like that... he would have gone of his own volition if he'd been given the chance.

Ron and Hermione found him after Charms during their brief break between classes and asked what had happened, but Harry was not in the mood to talk about it. He muttered something about homework and Hermione gave him her notes and the assignments so that he could get started. After she had left a twisted idea caught Harry as funny and he decided to start his Potion's essay first. He knew he would be pissing his professor off royally, but that was what he was going for. At the top of his page instead of his name he put: James Potter. Of course he had wanted the man to hear his friends calling him that, but that had not seemed to have happened yet, and this was a more direct way of getting the point across to him that he was just like James, and always would be, because James was the only real father he knew, even if he didn't know him because they had never truly met.

After his name had been put down he scrawled his essay quickly, unable to keep his hand from shaking in anger. Of course he made sure he was writing down an O worthy paper because that would piss off the man even more that Harry had done well and he would not be able to give him a bad grade after all that Harry had now done.

Harry skipped dinner as well, not feeling hungry. His backside hurt from where he had been thrown into the desk in McGonagall's office and he preferred to get a nap in before he had to spend all night doing disgusting chores for Snape as detention.

At seven sharp, the time Snape always instructed students to appear for detention, Harry left the common room, planning on showing up late as promised. He stewed inside as he descended through the castle... he hated that Snape thought he had grown up being treated like royalty. If the man had any idea the kind of life he had lead at the hands of his aunt and uncle he would shudder and lose as much sleep as Harry often did. But no, he would never see who Harry really was... he would never know the truth and would always choose to remain ignorant. Ignorance by choice made Harry even angrier than being called a prince or being dragged halfway through the castle.

Somewhere deep down, Harry wished Snape would learn the truth, because somehow that would take the burden off of Harry's shoulders, but it burned him up inside every day to know that the truth would never come out, and he would always be weighted down by this awful feeling inside the pit of his stomach. Even now as he strolled into the Potion Master's office five minutes late, he could feel heartburn setting in for the night as the anger burned hotter than ever.

"I'm here," Harry said casually, crossing his arms and leaning on the doorframe to the man's office.

Snape glared at Harry and crossed his own arms. "Do you want to spend the entire year in detention Potter? Because I'm sure I can find enough toilets for you to scrub and rat brains for you to pickle."

The mention of rat brains made Harry want to barf, but he swallowed hard and tried to think of something else. Near every little thing made him nauseous nowadays, and he had a hard time keeping food down at all.

"Well?" Snape asked impatiently.

"Thinking about it," Harry said, pretending that he was interested in spending every night doing detention with the man for an entire year. The statement had the desired effect in fueling his professor's anger.

"Get to work then," Snape said, motioning for the door. Harry turned to see the door across the hall open to reveal a toothbrush and pail of water. "You can start by scrubbing every inch of the dungeon hall floors. If you miss even one spot I will make you start anew, now get out."

Disgusted with himself for getting such an awful detention that would take him the better part of a week or more, Harry had to force a smile upon his face. He wanted to smile because he wanted to anger the man sitting behind the desk even more. It was almost becoming a game to him now, to see just what he could do to piss him off. He reveled in the look on the man's face as he moved off and to the end of the corridor where he dropped to his knees and began scrubbing.

16 years of scrubbing floors at the Dursley's had allowed Harry to train his mind to think about other things while he worked to make the work less mundane and less of a punishment. Currently he was going over the chapters he had memorized earlier in the day so that he was sure to get good grades later on. He knew they couldn't kick him out for his attitude so long as his grades were outstanding, and that was what he had worked hard for all summer. He had used his school books to keep his mind off of things ever since his aunt had let her little secret slip. Granted it didn't work when he was very upset or angry, but during chores it worked better because he had trained himself to think of other things during this time. After two hours he had only moved a few feet down the hall, and Severus stepped out to see that he was still working and not just sitting there.

"Really Potter, is that all you've managed to accomplish in two hours? You've missed a spot there in the corner anyway, and you can start over tomorrow night." It seemed that Snape too had picked up on Harry's little game and was now playing it himself, trying to get Harry riled up.

"I have not," Harry said, frowning and looking to where Snape had pointed to.

"If you feel like arguing then you can stay an extra hour tonight Potter." Snape turned and went back to his office, satisfied with the irritated muttering that followed him as he went.

"Harry? .... Er, James I mean... are you ok?" Ron scuffed his shoe on the ancient tile floor of the boy's toilet outside Gryffindor common room as Harry wretched again inside the stall at the far end. He had been there for the past ten minutes waiting for his friend to be done being sick.

After a few more long moments Harry emerged, looking pale, red and gold tie undone and hanging loosely around his neck, and hair messier than ever. "Yeah, fine," Harry said, appreciating that his friend cared enough to stand there and listen to him barfing for so long.

"Are you sick?"

Harry shook his head as he ducked down to have a drink of water from the sink so he could rinse his mouth off. "No."

"Oh." By now Ron knew better than to ask again or for more information if Harry gave a short answer like that.

"How was detention last night with Snape?"

"I scrubbed the dungeon hall floors with a toothbrush," Harry said. "I have to do that again tonight... and every night for a month."

"Yuck," Ron said, pulling a face. "Even Fred and George never had that one... but then again Snape never had to drag them up to see McGonagall."

Harry shrugged. "Oh well. Got nothing better to do than shine his floors. I'll be shining his shoes next. I am just a house elf after all," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Ron shook his head. He wished he knew what was bothering his friend so that he could help and have his old Harry back. He much rather liked Harry instead of James whatever that was about.

In Potions that day Harry dropped his essay on the professor's desk with a smile, and was happy to receive a sneer in return. From across the room Draco watched this curiously, and wondered what in the hell had gotten the Gryffindor all riled up and snarky all of a sudden. It wasn't like he was expected to join the ranks of the dark lord or anything afterall.

Thinking that he already had detention for a month, Harry considered leaving class again, but knew his grades would drop if he didn't have a potion to hand in at the end of the class, so he rushed through it, instructions already memorized from the night before, and was the first one to hand his potion in. To Snape's surprise it was the right color, and done in record time. He would indeed have reveled in giving the brat a D, but decided he'd have to manage that with the boy's essay. Unfortunately for Harry, he was already out of the classroom and missed the look Severus gave upon seeing his new name on top of the parchment. Ron told him about it later to Harry's satisfaction, although his friend wasn't sure why the man had made such a face after Harry had left the room.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Hermione asked at lunch later that day.

Harry shrugged. "I ate after I left Potion's," he lied. "I had an apple in my bag from breakfast." Hermione frowned, not remembering seeing him take an apple from the table earlier, but let it drop, not wanting to draw one of Harry's new favorite icy glares. Ron had suggested earlier in jest that perhaps Harry had been secretly taking glaring lessons from Snape during his detentions as extra punishment, but Hermione had not found it amusing at all.

Harry appeared late once again that evening for detention, and scrubbed the floors until ten PM, trying to remember all of the two Charms chapters he had read during dinner, but faltering when he couldn't get past the first one. Suddenly he was remembering things that he didn't want to and felt his stomach burning up once again.

Trying to force his feelings down Harry scrubbed harder and harder until the toothbrush snapped clean in half.

"Great," he muttered. It was going to be impossible to clean the floor with a little stub for a brush, and he had been instructed not to use magic or else he'd be cleaning the floor with his tongue. He would have liked to believe that the man had been joking, but knew him better, and definitely did not want to become the man's dog, licking the floor for a month.

Harry got to his feet, trying to ignore his aching knees and back, and walked down the hall to Snape's open office door where a fifth year Slytherin sat inside spewing off random things about his oh so troubled life. Suddenly Harry despised the boy, but was confused as to why.

"What Potter?" Snape said, sounding exasperated. Harry held up the brush with a sneer, and Severus rolled his eyes.

"Here, get back to work," he half spat, pulling a toothbrush from a desk drawer and handing it to the Slytherin boy who then handed it over to Harry. Harry snatched the brush up and turned quickly, not wanting either one of them to see his face turning red.

What the hell was wrong with him all the sudden? There was a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach there along with the burning and he didn't know what exactly it was. It almost felt like jealousy, but he didn't know why in the hell he would feel jealous of a stupid little Slytherin spilling his guts there.

Suddenly unable to stand it anymore Harry threw the toothbrush down at the end of the hallway and stalked off down a hall that lead deeper into the dungeons. He didn't have to take this crap! Who was Snape to think he could treat Harry like this? Feeling himself ready to burst Harry once again fell back on his new habit of punching an unsuspecting wall as he imagined it as a face. He had been imagining hitting Snape's face for the past two months, but tonight he imagined it as the fifth year Slytherin's face, and hated himself for not knowing why.

He continued to storm down the hall, losing pace as he descended deeper under the school. He had never been down in this part of the dungeons before, and wondered what this part of the castle had been used for, if anything. After a while he heard a snigger and a girly giggle, and suddenly found himself face to face with a couple making out as he rounded a corner.

"Ugh," Harry said, pulling a face and trying to cover his eyes. The couple split and the girl gave a high shriek.

"Get out, get out!" she shouted.

"Yeah, whatever," Harry said, turning quickly. It was Draco and a sixth year Slytherin girl he didn't know the name of, but he thought it started with an A. Draco watched him go with a frown, wondering what the Gryffindor was doing so far down in the dungeons, but was forced to forget about it for a while as Alexandra pulled him back in for another long kiss.

Not wanting to walk up on anymore Slytherin sex scenes, Harry decided to just head back to his common room, and started to make his way back towards the upper castle. He wished he had something other than books to take his mind off his troubles, and off the disturbing scene he had just witnessed, but could think of nothing, and ended up just going to bed, falling into a fitful, restless sleep where he was the one sitting in Snape's office joking and telling him all of his troubles.

Harry woke in the middle of the night, suddenly needing to be free of the contents of his stomach once again, and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Just another glorious day, he thought to himself. Another glorious day in the life of Harry bloody Potter.

Harry finished five more detentions, and hit five more walls before the week was out, and he had lost more sleep than ever. Maybe he should have just kept his big mouth shut, he thought, because doing detentions for Snape was just making the vicious thoughts circling in his mind worse. His nightmares were getting worse, and he was making more trips to the boy's toilet each day to have up with his last meal. So far starving himself wasn't helping any, but eating sure did making the burning inside him worse.

He almost wished for dreams of him going up against Voldemort... his old nightmares were the stuff sweet dreams would be made of if he could just get himself to dream something different then reliving his horrible revelation at 4 Privet Drive earlier that summer.

Each night it was the same. He would be arguing with Dudley in the kitchen when Aunt Petunia would walk in and sneer at him, saying how unfortunate it was that Harry was so alike his father. And then Harry would grin and stick his chin up in the air. "Yep, good old dad," he would say proudly. "Good thing James and Lily are dead or else you'd be in for it Dudley." Dudley would roll his eyes and Petunia would scoff. "Right, JAMES and Lily. Even that boy would have been better than that broke, worthless little wretch that my freak sister had to go get knocked up by. I hated him, with his long black greasy hair and hooked nose... the children on our street always called him Snivellus..."

Harry had put a hole in the kitchen wall as Petunia had let this dreaded, precious piece of information slip, and he paid dearly for it later by Uncle Vernon's fist breaking his ribs, but even this was better than the feeling that had overtaken Harry since that day. The grimy, worthless dungeon bat who had lived to make Harry miserable for seven years was his father... the man who had abandoned Harry and his mother and left Harry to live life as a slave under a man with an iron fist. And still, there was nothing worse than knowing that his entire life had been a lie.

He had come back to Hogwarts determined to make his father as miserable as he felt. He would do everything right but just enough so that he couldn't get kicked out for his behavior, and he would refuse to be called by anything other than James. God how his twisted life ate at him day after day, until one day his body seemed to eat at itself without Harry's help.

The ground was crisp and the air was cool Monday morning as Harry puked behind a bush on his way back to the castle after Herbology. He had told his friends to go on ahead without him so that he could have some privacy as he got rid of his breakfast. Unfortunately he hadn't been the only one to stay behind, and he soon heard Draco speaking a short ways behind him as he stood up and wiped his mouth off.

"What's eating you Potter?" Draco asked, truly curious now. It seemed that Harry had done himself more harm than Draco ever could have tried to inflict on him.

Harry shook his head and moved off for the castle. "Get lost Malfoy."

"Yeah right Potter. Really, do you want to spend every night scrubbing the floor for the rest of your life, or do you just pretend to do detention so you can sneak around spying on people getting it on."

"I mean it Malfoy," Harry said, fist tightening, "get lost." Harry would have fought him, but he was feeling weak and sick, and Draco saw it.

"Go on then, fight me, but I'm going to pester you until you tell me."

"Why? Because you live to know that I'm miserable? Ok Malfoy, I'm miserable, happy? Now buzz off." Harry felt his stomach jerking and didn't want the blond boy to stand there and watch him throw up again.

"No, because I want to know what's turned the world's little loveable hero into me all of a sudden. People just don't see me as so moody now that you're around." He cocked a grin knowing that it was true, but dropped the smile when Harry ran for the next nearest bush and heaved loudly.

Draco stuck his tongue out and covered his mouth. People throwing up always made him have the urge to do it too.

"Seriously Potter, Hospital Wing. You're spreading germs everywhere."

"I'm not sick," Harry said, trying to get up off his knees, wiping his mouth on his sleeve again.

"Yeah, well that bush begs to differ."

Harry took in a deep breath of cold air, trying to calm himself. "What the hell's wrong with you Malfoy? Why can't you just leave me alone? I already told you I'm miserable, so be happy and leave me be."

"Don't be so dramatic Potter," Draco half spat. "Not everything revolves around you. You think you've got such a horrible little life with friends and the whole world idolizing you... it's not like you've got really difficult choices to make... your path is laid out for you."

Suddenly Harry was boiling again and greeted his old wonderful friend anger warmly. "Yeah, you think my life is so great?!" he spat, "how about finding out your whole life is a lie!? How about finding out that your dad is still alive and hates your guts!? How about finding out that you were dumped on a doorstep and abandoned to live as a house elf for 16 years!?" Still on his knees on the crisp grass, Harry was positively shaking now, wondering at all the private information he had just spewed out at Draco that he now had to use against him.

Draco was quiet, standing there contemplating all that he had been told. He had expected something different... what he wasn't sure, but something different. "Who is it then? Who's daddy dearest that hates you so bad you can never make up and live happily ever after?"

Harry was looking at the grass shaking his head. "Why don't you take a look at your lovely head of house then, and look at the similarities between us."

Draco's eyes widened. "Seriously?" He was coming closer to Harry now and was kneeling down next to him, bag dropped on the grass. "Are you joking?"

Harry shook his head again, hoping to dear God that Malfoy would keep his mouth shut about it.

"Why aren't you in Slytherin then? The hat would put you there if he was your dad!"

"It tried," Harry told him, "but I asked specifically not to be put there because you were there." Harry watched with some amount of satisfaction as Draco's mouth dropped open a little bit.

"Really?"

Harry nodded.

"Well, I mean... when did you find out about ol' Snape... I mean, obviously this summer because you were all happy before the holiday but..."

"My aunt let slip," Harry said, wishing desperately now that he had some control over his temper, because he did not want Draco knowing all of this and he felt like he was on thin ice telling him all of this.

"I mean, my dad told me once that Snape and your mom used to go together at school, but you look so much like a Potter that I never thought..." here Draco stopped and took in Harry's appearance again. "I guess you do have long jet black hair like he does, only yours is more messy."

Harry bit his lip, knowing he might as well just skip Transfiguration now because he was so late already.

"But seriously, you're so sick over this you're puking your guts up all the time? I heard people talking about how you're always running to the bathroom after each class."

Shrugging Harry said, "I can't stop. My stomach burns all the time and if I eat it's worse, and the thought of any food at all makes me have up with whatever I did eat."

"Well why didn't you go see Pomfrey? She can treat ulcers like, in two seconds!"

Harry frowned. An ulcer? He hadn't thought of that, but it made sense now. "How do you know about ulcers?"

"I had one last year," he said. "Pomfrey gave me some potion and it was fine for a couple days, and then I went back for some more until the bloody thing was healed."

"No, I don't want to go up there, because she'll start asking questions."

Draco frowned. "Does Snape know? I mean, because if he knows then you might as well let her ask questions."

Harry shrugged again. "I don't know if he does or not, but if he does then he really, really hates my guts." He ran his hand through his hair and suddenly shivered, realizing he didn't have his jacket and it was definitely cold outside.

Rubbing his hands quickly over his bare arms, Harry said, "Don't tell anybody... nobody would believe you anyway." He hoped the last bit would deter Draco from spouting his secret to the whole castle like a broke fire hydrant.

"No, they wouldn't. But I won't tell anybody. You're messed up enough already."

Draco and Harry stood up and didn't say anything all the way back to the castle. In the Entrance Hall Draco gave Harry one more appraising look, and then disappeared up the stairs, late to whatever class he had next. Harry headed for his common room, trying not to think about what had just happened. His life really was turning upside down if Snape was his father and he was telling his secrets to Draco Malfoy.

After dinner that night Draco caught up with Harry and pulled him into a darkened corridor on second floor.

"What?" Harry asked, fearing the worst. Had Draco already told people?

"I asked Snape for some potion to heal an ulcer, because he knew I had one last year, but he wouldn't give it to me unless I got Pomfrey to ok it. I would go ask her but she always runs a diagnostic spell before she gives you anything."

"Why'd you do that?" Harry asked.

"Are you kidding? I hated having that crater in my stomach. I don't care what questions she asked I was just glad I went to see her and got it over with. But you're so messed up you'd rather live with it then tell her, so I thought I'd help."

"But why," Harry asked again, confused. Draco had never done a nice thing for him ever. Harry wasn't sure that Draco would ever do anything nice for anyone ever.

Draco shrugged. "I dunno... maybe because you're the only one in this place as messed up as I am. I don't see other people walking around the place barfing all over every five minutes. And you told me... which means you didn't tell anybody else yet, so I reckon you'd rather not tell anybody else."

Harry bit his lip. "I didn't tell anybody else... I couldn't stand other people knowing."

Nodding, Draco said, "Yeah, sounds about right. I'll try Snape again tomorrow, and maybe he'll feel sorry enough for me to give it to me. It would only help for a couple of days, but anything's better than nothing."

Draco tried to move off, but Harry reached out to stop him, his other hand holding his own stomach. "You don't have to do that."

"Nope, but I reckon if the hat tried to put you in Slytherin it must be where you were meant to be, even if you did take a detour through Gryffindor." He pulled a face as if to show mock disgust, and then said hurriedly, "See ya," before slipping off into the darkness.

Harry's head was filled with odd musings and confusion at all that had happened. With Draco Malfoy being nice to him he wasn't really sure what to expect for the rest of the day. Did this mean Ron and Hermione would turn on him? Back in the common room Ron and Hermione were as nice as ever, but Harry had too much to think about to be able to concentrate on his homework, so he went to bed early.

* * *

Ron and Hermione gave Harry and Draco a strange dismayed look as Draco pulled Harry out of a throng of people the next day and whispered hurriedly to him, but Harry didn't notice.

"I asked again but I think he's suspicious. He gave me a weird look like he was trying to decide if I was lying or not."

"Did you tell him anything?" Harry asked worriedly, feeling his stomach burn worse as he did so.

Draco shook his head. "No, and I still didn't get it. But I will though. Just meet me tonight at six in the empty room next to the Charms room."

Harry nodded, and hurried to catch up with Ron and Hermione.

"What was that all about?" Ron asked suspiciously. Hermione glanced sideways to see how Harry reacted to the question.

"I don't want to talk about it," Harry said, and hoped that they would let it drop. They did for the moment, but Harry had a feeling that their patience was waning with him, and didn't know for how much longer it would last.

Forcing himself to eat something that night at dinner, because he'd hardly eaten at all in the past three days, Harry finished quickly and hurried off to the agreed meeting place. Draco was there and had a small bottle of silvery potion.

"It's only one dose, but it will be good for two days."

"Where-"

"The Hospital Wing. I had Crabbe create a distraction so I could sneak in and nick it from Pomfrey's stock. I couldn't take it from Snape because I'd already been asking about it and he would have known it was me who took it."

"Are you sure you're not trying to poison me?" Harry asked, trying to confirm that Draco was indeed in earnest about helping him.

"Come on, just drink it you halfwit. I went to the trouble of getting it for you. You're going to give me an ulcer just watching you have one."

With one last look at Draco, Harry popped the cork out of the bottle and downed the liquid in one swallow. Almost immediately he felt a cooling sensation in his stomach and a deep relief swept over him. Muscles that he hadn't realize had been tightened suddenly loosened up and he felt at ease and at peace.

"See, that's what I'm talking about," Draco said. "If I were you I'd just go see Pomfrey. I don't think I'll be able to nick anymore. And if you worry yourself too much over Snape the potion will wear off quicker."

"Well I can't very well not worry over it when I have detention with him every night."

"You need a way to unwind," Draco said knowingly.

"What, like at the end of a dark hall with a girl?" He half laughed, but Draco gave him a weak glare.

"No, and not funny. Don't tell people about my love life. I mean something more liquid. It won't help your ulcer any, but I've got some moonshine that Goyle snuck in at the beginning of the year that will help you forget for a little while."

Harry bit his lip. He'd never taken a drink before in his life, but the lure of forgetting was a strong one.

"I don't get out of detention until late."

"I'll find you," Draco said. "Just keep your mind clear until then." And then he hurried off again to get a bite before dinner ended.

Harry sat in the classroom and let the feeling of relief from his pain continue to wash over him. The relief was so wonderful that he had little trouble clearing his mind during his detention. He hardly thought at all about Snape until near the end of the detention when another Slytherin entered the office to tell Snape about some trouble he was having, and Harry again felt the ache of jealousy sweep over him. Why was it that every Slytherin got to have time with his father and talk about life, but he wasn't allowed even a moment? Oh, that's right, because the man hated his guts, and that would never change. Suddenly he was hating his father and his life, and himself all over again, and ten pm couldn't come quick enough. He nearly threw the toothbrush at his father before hurrying from the office. He hadn't gotten down two dungeon halls before Draco whistled to draw his attention, and then lead him into a hidden room behind a hidden wall. There was no furniture in the room, but there were two cups and a large, odd shaped bottle of liquor. And after that there was drinking and laughing and not being able to stand up.

"I'll just leave this here for whenever," Draco said. "We've got seven more bottles of this and Christmas will come soon enough, so no worries if you finish this one off. But I wouldn't want to be you when that potion wears off after you've been drinking."

Harry laughed and felt silly. "Yeah, wass at? Aw, I'll think about it later Draco. You're a good friend today though."

Draco shook his head. He could hold his liquor better and hadn't drank nearly as much as Harry. He knew better than to get caught stumbling down the halls drunk. Snape had taught him that lesson early on too.

Draco had warned Harry to stay in the secret room after getting drunk, but Harry didn't listen. He climbed out into the hall, stumbling wildly and catching himself before he went sprawling out onto the floor. Somehow he made it back to Gryffindor common room, but Ron smelled the booze on him as Harry climbed into bed.

"Harry?" Ron asked groggily, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"Ye, yeah Ronnie?" Harry said happily, trying to pull his shoes off, but giving up eventually deciding that they must be glued to his feet.

"You been drinking? You smell like moonshine."

"Yep Ronnie, I been drinking."

"Why? Where'd you get it?"

"Shhhhhhhh," Harry said before giggling wildly, "you'll get us in trouble. Can't tell old Snape one thing abou' his son drinking or he'd ground him for good!" With this Harry fell flat on his face onto his pillow and Ron frowned into the darkness, unable to make any sense at all of what Harry had just said. Attributing it to being drunk, and deciding to finally have a talk with Harry in the morning, whether he wanted to talk or not, Ron lay back down and tried to get back to sleep, not managing until the sun was almost up.

"Harry?"

"Mmmmm."

"Harry wake up."

"Mmmmm, nah, m' gonna sleep more."

"Get up." Ron prodded him in the back.

"It's Saturday."

"It's Friday, get up. We have class."

Harry sat up and rubbed his head. It ached a little, but not nearly as bad as the ulcer would have been hurting by this time in the morning.

"What classes do we have Friday?" Harry asked, confused for a moment.

"Potions first, come on," Ron urged.

With more prodding Harry got up and got ready, running his fingers through his hair, but not caring enough about his appearance just for Potions to find a comb. Ron gave him sideways glances all through classes, and then during lunch and dinner as Harry seemed to eat a weeks worth of food in one day.

"Hungry again?" Ron asked.

"I'm always hungry," Harry said, giving him a look like he was just being silly.

"Well you never eat very much," Hermione said, trying to help Ron out. He had told her about Harry coming in late drunk, and about his decision to talk to him about it.

"Well, so what," Harry said, happy that for once, even if he wasn't hungry because of the thoughts floating in his mind that he could eat because his stomach wasn't trying to rebel as he did so.

Ron looked around. He had picked a spot way at the far end of Gryffindor table on purpose so that they'd be alone.

"Come on Harry," Ron said, "Something's been bothering you and I want to know about it."

Harry set his roast chicken leg down. "Come on, can't I eat in peace?"

"You can eat any day," Ron said, and suddenly Harry was upset that Ron didn't understand that he couldn't eat on any regular day.

"Don't start with me Ron," Harry said, pointing a finger. "Just let me eat and go to detention."

"That's another thing, you've never gotten into this much trouble. You don't wear your uniform right half the time, you skip classes, you sneak around whispering to Malfoy, and you came in drunk last night."

Finally Harry pushed his plate away. "Just leave me alone Ron," he said firmly.

"Harry, we just want to help-" Hermione started, but Harry cut her off.

"Forget helping me!" he tried not to say it too loud, so it came out in a harsh whisper. "Just leave me be! You can never understand what I'm going through and I don't want you to." He stood up and made to leave but Ron stood now too, also angry.

"So what, you're just switching sides then? You just going to dump us to be friends with that slimy git over at Slytherin table?"

Harry couldn't help it, suddenly he had his fist up in the air and it was sailing towards Ron's nose.

"Harry!" Hermione screamed.

Harry looked around quickly and saw most of the hall looking at him, wondering that Ron was clutching his nose and that it was bleeding profusely.

"Listen, I'm sorry," Harry tried to say to Ron, half bending down to look Ron in the eyes because Ron was half bent over.

Ron stood straight and looked Harry in the eyes, knowing that this wasn't his friend standing before him, but at the same time it was. He wasn't sure what to do.

"I forgive you because I know this isn't you Harry," he said, sounding nasally. Harry was just about to say something, but the next second and somebody had him by the back of the collar. He barely got a glimpse of Snape before he found himself being dragged out of the Great Hall. He didn't fight this time, knowing that he deserved whatever detention he got because he had just punched his best friend in the nose for trying to help him. Unfortunately for Harry it wasn't detention that he would be getting this night.

Snape pushed him roughly along without a word, and when they finally reached his office, he threw the door open and threw Harry inside, just as he had done the day he had taken Harry to McGonagall's office.

"Ow," Harry complained as his elbow smacked the professor's desk.

"I have had it up to here with you Potter!" Snape shouted, holding his hand way up above his head.

"You think it's ok to go around punching other students now?"

Harry looked at the floor and shook his head. "No, I didn't mean to."

"Oh, you didn't mean to? So that makes it all better? You think it's ok to pick on weaker students JAMES?"

Harry looked up at the use of his father's.... no, at the use of his new name. He knew that James Potter had often picked on Snape, and now he knew he was in for a world of hurt because he had crossed the line of the one thing Snape wouldn't tolerate.

"Come on James," Snape taunted, lightly shoving Harry in the shoulders. "You want to be so much like your father... you want to be so delinquent, so cool, so go on. Be James Potter. Be the bully who yells at other students and punches people. Go on, do it, be James Potter!" He kept shoving Harry, and Harry was getting irritated. Professor's weren't supposed to do this kind of thing. He couldn't actually hit Harry could he? But then again, he hated him so much, why wouldn't he? Just like Uncle Vernon.... He hated Harry and he hit Harry all the time.

Harry tried to look at the floor and ignore the man in front of him, but Snape kept shoving him and kept taunting.

"Come on, not so big now that somebody more powerful than you is picking on you? Not so willing to fight? What's wrong with you? Hm? Are you so screwed up inside that you have to hit other people to feel better about yourself?" Suddenly the man had struck a cord in Harry. He was so deeply messed up inside and he just wanted him to understand. Draco understood, sort of, but he didn't want Draco to understand. He wanted his father to understand. And his father had always used his power over him to make him miserable. For seven years he had made him miserable, and before that he had made him miserable by dumping him with his aunt and uncle.

Snape gave Harry one more good shove and then Harry was swinging wildly. It was only the second punch he'd ever thrown in his life, but unlike Ron, Snape was ready for him and had ducked and then swung himself, landing a solid punch on Harry's jaw.

Immediately Harry's eyes began to water, and he reached up to his jaw to feel where he had been hit. He looked up into the eyes of his father, who was now no better than Uncle Vernon, and ran from the room, desperate to get out of his own skin. Desperate to be somebody different than this horrible person he had turned out to be. Desperate to be known as anybody else's son. Desperate to be loved by his real father.

In his office, Severus Snape stood dumfounded at what he had just done. Seeing Harry wanting so desperately to be like James, and then hitting his own best friend had just made something inside him snap. He was in disbelief that he had just hit a student, even if he had deserved it. He was now no better than James bloody Potter himself, picking on weaker people, and provoking them into fighting.

He stood there for a long while yet after Harry was gone, and thought about what he had done. He himself had now become no better than his own father, hitting a child. Yes, he could try to justify it all he wanted by saying Harry was not really a child because he was 17 and was indeed a man, but in his heart he knew it wasn't so. Something was eating at the child badly for him to break his own best friend's nose. He had gone away on holiday a boy and had come back a moody, mean, disrespectful bully. He didn't really care what was bothering the boy, only that something was, and he had only compounded the problem.

Damn, but the brat was so disrespectful, and he couldn't let that slide. And if he would just talk to somebody like normal people instead of turning into a little punk. But no, that still didn't excuse what he had just done. Severus took a seat in the visitor's chair in his office and hung his head in shame.

Harry was determinedly quiet for the next few days. He didn't speak to anybody, and seemed downright depressed. He had a bruise on his chin and rumors spread quickly that Ron had given him a good punch later on, but he hadn't. Ron was also quiet, and he watched Harry carefully, more worried than ever for his friend.

Draco had been right about drinking with an ulcer. After the potion had worn off, Harry was in worse shape than ever. There wasn't a moment that went by that Harry wasn't in agonizing pain. He wished desperately for some kind of relief and wished Draco would be able to secure more of the potion, but Draco had been unsuccessful.

Draco had been so amazed that Harry had hit Ron because he was sticking up for him that he had gone straightaway to pester Snape for some of the potion, but Snape had refused again, and when Draco went to nick some from the Hospital Wing he found the supply cabinet double locked.

"Maybe you could send some money by owl to an apothecary in Hogsmead for some," Draco suggested when he had come back empty handed.

Harry shrugged. "That's ok. Thanks for trying anyway." Draco bit his lip, worried about Harry. He had never seen him this depressed... he hadn't seen many people this depressed ever, not even himself.

"Did Ron hit you? That's what they're saying you know."

Harry shook his head.

"Who then?"

"He did... you know. Him."

Draco's eyes widened. "Snape?" he whispered, even though they were alone out on the grounds.

Harry nodded.

"Well, don't feel too bad. I get hit lots by my dad."

Harry looked up. "You do?"

"Sure, all the time... to be honest, it's kind of good to know I'm not the only one."

"At least he loves you though..."

Draco shrugged. "Maybe, but I don't think so. Sorry."

Harry nodded.

In detention Harry scrubbed the floors quietly without a word. He was slow and deliberate in his movements, no longer angry and rushed. Aside from the fact that he felt lethargic, it hurt for him to move too fast.

It had been a few days since Snape had hit him now, and he had grown more depressed each day. Severus had not failed to notice. He had decided to not taunt him or sneer at him any more for the time being. He was afraid that he had already pushed Harry over the edge.

It was Friday night and Harry was just starting to scrub the floors with the toothbrush. He had made it all the way down the hall and around the corner now so that he wasn't in sight of Snape's office at all, although it didn't help ease his heart any being a few more feet away from him... in all reality it felt like he was a million miles away from the man, and that perhaps they'd never really meet in real life.

Harry felt his stomach begin to churn and knew he'd better make for a bathroom soon. He didn't want to get hit again, so he decided he'd better ask for a break first.

He stood in the doorway quietly, and it was only a few seconds until he was noticed.

"Yes?" was Snape's curt response to Harry standing there, staring at his shoes.

"Can I have a bathroom break?"

Snape eyed him, wondering if he was trying to get out of detention a few minutes at a time. "You just started five minutes ago, did you not?"

Harry nodded, eyes still glued to his shoes.

"Then no. Go to the bathroom before you come next time."

"Please?"

"No. Go back to work. You may go in half an hour."

Harry bit his lip, feeling nauseous even now and hoping that he could bite back the sensation long enough to wait until he was allowed a break. Unfortunately for Harry he could not wait, and had only made it ten feet down the hall before he had lost what little dinner he had in the middle of the corridor floor.

Panicky, Harry pulled his wand out to clean it up, and had just vanished the mess when Snape appeared and saw him using his wand to clean the floor.

"Potter, I did not give you permission to clean the floor with a spell. You were to do it by hand." He began to walk forward, with no intention of hurting Harry, but Harry didn't see it that way. He began to back up, stomach still churning.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean, I wasn't-"

Suddenly his chest felt tight and it felt like he couldn't breath. He couldn't rid himself of the panicky feeling deep within him and at the same time he felt like he still needed to throw up some more.

Severus saw Harry tense noticeable at his approach, and when he was near enough to get a proper look at him he noticed how pale the boy's face was.

Suddenly Harry reached up with his free hand to cover his mouth and turned away, vomiting all over the floor. He fell to his knees and sobbed once, embarrassed and still feeling overwhelmed with a panic that he had never known. It was almost like he was frozen and couldn't move.

"Potter..." he waved his wand to clean up the mess and realized then that that's what Harry had done, was clean up barf off the floor, and that this was the reason he had needed a bathroom break.

"Why did you not ask to go to the Hospital Wing?"

Harry shook his head, unable to answer. "Please no.... don't make me."

Severus frowned as he reached down to lift the child up by the arm.

"Don't make you what?"

"There will be questions... I can't." Harry's emotions were running so raw now that he just felt like he wanted to explode with it all and die right there.

"You're obviously sick... what questions would there be about that?"

Harry shook his head, suddenly feeling cold and wrapping his arms around himself.

"It's not the flu or anything... I, it's been like this."

Severus narrowed his eyes, suddenly piecing things together and making the connection, albeit the unlikely one, that Draco had been asking for the ulcer potion for Harry.

"Come with me." He still had Harry by the arm, just to make sure he wouldn't run off, and lead him into his office, depositing him in the more comfortable of the two visitor's chairs.

He unlocked a tall cabinet against one wall and searched for the silvery potion he had kept in stock in case Draco's ulcer had returned from the year before.

"Drink this." Harry didn't question him and took the potion immediately and with such eagerness that Severus concluded he must have known what it was because he had taken it before, which seemed to somehow confirm the theory that Draco had indeed been helping him.

Severus sat down behind his desk and watched the look of relief spread over Harry's face, although the boy continued to look down at his lap.

"It hurts worse after you eat?" Harry nodded. "And you throw up often?" Another nod. Severus sighed. He knew what had caused Draco's ulcer... the constant pressure on him to spy for his father and to join the Dark Lord once he graduated, but what could be eating Harry Potter? He hadn't a clue.

"When did this start?"

Harry shrugged, but didn't say anything.

"Regular people don't get ulcers Potter... which leads me to conclude that you have worried yourself sick over something and given yourself one. This along with the fact that you suddenly turned into James Potter over a few months and began hitting your friends."

Harry was biting his lip now, and Severus noticed, thinking that it must have been painful for him to do so.

Inside Harry was more confused than ever. He was finally sitting there in his father's office, just like those other students had, and had a chance to tell him everything, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. What was wrong with him? Why was this so hard?

"Potter?" He noticed that the boy seemed to be tensing up again.

Harry reached up to shield his eyes with one hand and Snape knew he was crying. Suddenly uncomfortable, he wished the boy's own head of house was here with him because she would be more equipped and capable of handling this. He understood his Slytherins fine most days, but he couldn't hope to understand a Gryffindor on his best day, let alone one that he had hit just a few days before.

"Potter?" Harry sobbed once at the use of his false last name, unable to live with it any longer. He felt like everything had been building to a breaking point and this was it. He shook his head and sobbed again, head in both hands now and shaking violently as he let the tears flow freely, unable to stop them any longer.

Harry wasn't aware of it until he felt a hand on his shoulder, but Snape had moved to Harry's side of the desk now and was sitting in the other visitor's chair.

"Whatever it is Potter, it can't be that bad." He tried to think of what burdens the boy could be carrying... had he gotten a girl pregnant, like the fifth year in his house had confessed to a few weeks before? Had he joined the Dark Lord like Crabbe had confessed to last night? Had the realization finally hit him that he would have to murder or be murdered?

"My whole life, has been a wasted lie," Harry finally managed to choke out, confusing Severus even more. What was he on about? Now that Harry was there sitting in his office crying, a cord was struck in him and he remembered a time when Lily felt comfortable enough around him to cry and release all her burdens to him. She was the only Gryffindor he ever understood.

"I don't understand," he said with a much softer tone than he had intended to use... one he had only reserved for Lily Evans, the precious love of his life.

Harry shook his head. "I'm not Harry Potter," he told him, suddenly looking up and into his eyes, willing Snape to understand him. The will in the boy's eyes was so strong that before Severus knew what was happening, he was in the boy's mind, listening as aunt Petunia let slip that he was not the son of James Potter.... trying to fight back as Uncle Vernon beat him to a bloody pulp for putting a hole in the kitchen wall... feeling what Harry felt as he tried to royally piss of the father that didn't give a crap about him... dying inside as he watched others have what he could not.

Unable to stand the pain any longer, Severus forced his way back out of his son's mind, horrified, amazed, and in awe all at the same time. He had a son? Harry Potter was his son? His son could do legilimency?

He sat back in his chair, suddenly exhausted from feeling months of the boy's pain all in one stretch.

Harry was looking down at his shoes again, still crying, albeit quieter now.

"Why did you not come to me with this?" Severus asked quietly, still in awe at all of the information and raw emotion he had just taken in.

Harry shook his head. "I, I didn't know how... I was so confused. You, you left me there with them... you left me to get beaten and forgotten every day... you hate me." Harry choked all this out, sobbing hard again now, unable to deal with it anymore. He hurt so much inside that he was sure he was dying slowly from the inside out.

"No..." Severus was shaking his head. "I didn't know. I didn't know you were mine. I didn't know the life you were living... I thought you looked so much like James... I never thought to compare you to myself."

Almost too quiet to hear, Harry said through the tears, "That's what Draco said."

Severus tried to make sense of that. "Draco has been helping you? He tried to get ulcer potion for you. Why?"

Harry shrugged and tried to calm himself further so that he could speak somewhat coherently. "I dunno... he saw me barfing all over the place and he guessed, and then he wanted to know why. And, and I told him and he wanted to help. And then he was so nice, and Ron said something bad about him and I didn't mean to hit him I swear!" Harry said this all so quickly and in such earnest that Severus was even more ashamed now that he had provoked the boy... his son, into trying to hit him. He himself could not even begin to understand the pain and confusion the boy had been having to deal with on his own, and might not ever understand it because of the complexity of the situation.

"Harry," his voice was soft again, as if he were speaking to Lily. Surprised by the tone and the use of his first name, Harry looked into his father's eyes. "I was wrong to hit you, and I want you to know that I will never, ever do that again, for any reason. You do not deserve to be hit, and do not deserve to be treated as I have treated you these past seven years. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I-"

Harry didn't let him finish his sentence. Suddenly he was in his father's arms sobbing again into his chest. While surprised, Severus allowed himself to embrace his son... the son he never knew he had, but found himself wanting to comfort desperately now, as if it were Lily herself in his arms. Somehow knowing that it was part him, and part Lily sitting there sobbing into his chest made him feel connected in a strange way to the world around him... suddenly things had meaning for him now. And how strange it was to suddenly have meaning.

"Let it all go Harry... it's ok. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. Let it all go."

And Harry did.

Harry wasn't sure what to make of his new circumstances. He was so used to feeling angry and confused now that it almost felt abnormal to feel normal, like he once had. A burden was missing from his heart, but it left a gaping hole that made him feel sort of numb and empty.

He felt awkward too, not knowing how to proceed now that he knew his father knew about the situation, and now that he knew he did not hate him. Whether or not he wanted him and wanted to take responsibility for him was another question altogether, and it was one that Harry wasn't sure of himself. He was 17 now, and while he still longed dearly to be loved and wanted, and have somebody watching out for him, he wasn't sure how to go about life as other people his age did who had parents doing these things for them. He had always grown up taking care of himself. It wasn't until Hogwarts that he had had any friends even willing to look out for him, and even then he was unaccustomed to letting them in on his worst troubles, as Ron and Hermione had found out in the last month.

Harry knew that he owed Ron and Hermione an explanation, especially after breaking Ron's nose, but he didn't know how to go about that either just yet. Just for the moment he felt like he had to piece himself back together and deal with his father, and find out what was going to happen from here on out. Somehow Harry had come to want him as his father, even though he had spent the last six years deeply disliking the man, but Harry wasn't sure if it would go both ways. And the way Harry had acted since the start of term a month ago probably hadn't helped things. Would the man even want a son whom he'd had to drag kicking and screaming through the castle? Would he want somebody who had been so disrespectful towards him? Damn, but these were hard things to think about. Harry had been so broken inside... so lost. Would he understand that?

Unsure of whether or not he was wanted around, Harry did not go to see his father for two days after he had shed the secret that was causing him so much torment, and Snape never called for him, so he wasn't sure of how to proceed at all. Did they go on acting as teacher and student? Was it ok to tell other people the truth about Harry's real parents? Where did Harry go for the holidays now? Sure as hell not back to Privet Drive, and that was the one and only thing he did know for sure.

Harry didn't know it, but Severus' thoughts were much the same. Why hadn't Harry come to see him since that night? Did he not want to be his son? How did he go about asking the boy such a thing?

Severus was still reeling with this information. He had spent so much time despising the boy, thinking that he was everything that he clearly was not. He had completely overlooked the parts of Lily that clearly shined through in the boy, and had mistaken everything else to have been inherited from James.

He reflected back on the brief glimpse of his son's life he had been allowed to see in his mind. His aunt seemed cruel and taunting, and his uncle had had no mercy on him whatsoever for his typical teenage outburst. He dearly hoped that the rest of Harry's life hadn't been the same, but now that he thought about Harry's appearance through the years, he feared that it had been. Harry had already implied that he received beatings more often than not. He should have noticed when the boy came back to school each year just a little skinnier than when he'd left... when he came back wearing old clothes that were too big... the way he devoured meals three times a day as if it were a treat he'd never be allowed again. But no, he had been stubborn and naïve and had refused to see the boy... he had refused to see his son.

Because it was the weekend he had not seen the boy in classes, and he had already told him that he was no longer required to fulfill the remaining two weeks of detentions. By Monday night he could no longer stand the thought that perhaps Harry did not want him as a parent, and had to find out. As Harry exited the Great Hall alone Severus rose from his seat and followed him out into the empty Entrance Hall.

"Harry."

Harry turned around at the gentler than expected voice of his father. Not sure of what to say, he was left with no choice but to stand there wondering what his professor father wanted.

"May we speak in my office?"

Harry stuck his hands in his jeans pockets and nodded, and then followed Severus down to the dungeons and into his office. Once inside Severus did not wait to take a seat. He closed the door and said, "You know that my office will always be open for you, do you not?"

Looking up with surprise, Harry said shyly, "I didn't know if you wanted me down here or not."

A small frown creased his brow. "Of course I do. I did not mean to give you the impression that I did not."

"Oh... I didn't mean that you did, I just, wasn't sure." Just as Harry was surprised with the new tone the man was now taking towards him, Severus was surprised by the gentleness and meekness with which his son now spoke. It was vastly different than the cheeky attitude he had received earlier in the month.

After a brief pause, Severus said, "I was unsure how to proceed. I did not know how you thought of me, or if you wished to have anything to do with me."

Harry scratched his head. "I... I do."

Pondering the pause, Severus said, "You do not sound positive."

"It's not that," Harry said, feeling very awkward all of a sudden again, "it's just that this is new to me. I never had anyone who wanted me around before."

"Your... other, relatives did not treat you as a son?"

Harry shook his head. "Definitely not."

"Then we are both treading on new ground. I have never had a son, and you have never had a father."

Suddenly a question popped into Harry's mind and he had to know the answer, so he blurted it out. "Why did my mom lie? Why did she say I wasn't yours?"

Severus had been thinking about the same question over the past two days, and had still not come up with a reason. "I do not know. We were engaged to be married and were living together, and then I was called upon by the Headmaster to enter into the Dark Lord's ranks and become a spy, which you already know. When I returned from my first meeting with the Dark Lord, she... your mother, informed me that she would no longer marry me. She moved out the next day and refused to reply to any owls I sent trying to reconcile. It was only a few months later that she married James Potter, and I assumed that she had left me for him."

Harry was biting his lip again, a habit that Severus noticed the boy seemed to be fond of when he was anxious.

"You have something else you wish to ask?" He crossed his arms and leaned back on the front of his desk now wondering if his assumption was right.

Nodding, Harry said, "What do we do now?"

"Can you be more specific?" He tried not to sound sarcastic, but the habit was a hard one to break.

"I mean... I don't know... I didn't know if you wanted me or not." Even to his own ears the question was fumbled and awkward.

"I have already said that my office is open to you."

"No, I mean... you know." He was almost afraid to ask because he didn't want to be turned down. "As a son," he finally said, scuffing his sneaker on the office floor and looking down.

Severus uncrossed his arms now and stood up straight. He lifted Harry's chin so that he could see his eyes, and said, "Had I known you were my son, I would have never allowed you to suffer at the hands of your relatives, or anyone else. You would have been living with me to start with. The fact that you are older does not change the fact that I now know you are mine."

Thinking on the answer, Harry decided that even though it had been said in a very round about way, that yes, his father did indeed want him as a son. Knowing this seemed to fill some of that empty void that the previous burden had left.

"I don't want to go back to the Dursleys," he said.

Severus took another step closer. "And you will not have to."

While some relief swept over him, it didn't make it to his stomach, which started to churn angrily as the potion from a few days before began to wear off. Harry had been feeling the effects of the ulcer all day and had wanted to ask for more potion, but wasn't sure how. He didn't want his father to know how weak he was.

Seeing the uncomfortable look and the paleness of Harry's face, Severus asked, "How is the ulcer? Has the potion worn off yet?"

Harry's eyes widened, had he read his mind? He nodded, and Severus went to his cupboard and pulled out another bottle of the silver potion. He handed it to Harry without reservation and Harry swallowed it eagerly, letting the wonderful sensation of being pain free wash over him again.

"How many times have you had this potion now?"

"Three. Draco only managed to get one bottle for me."

Severus nodded, again deeply surprised that Draco had been helping his son.

"Depending on how bad the ulcer is, it may take several more doses of the potion to heal it completely. Whenever you feel the potion wearing off you must come to me immediately for more, or else the ulcer will get worse in between doses. Once it is healed you will continue to take the potion for a week or so to make sure that stress does not bring it back."

"Thanks," Harry scratched the back of his head. Was his father telling him he had to do it? Or was it a suggestion. Shaking himself mentally Harry told himself that he was being stupid. He didn't know why he wouldn't want to get rid of the ulcer, so he might as well do as his father told him for the time being.

Still feeling awkward at talking amiably to the man whom had been a thorn in his side for the last six years, Harry thanked him again and said something about finishing up some homework so that he could make an escape. The silence in the small office was killing him because he didn't know what to say or talk about, and he wasn't entirely sure just how to act.

In the common room Harry spied Ron and Hermione doing homework in a corner by themselves. Still feeling awkward from the visit with his father professor, he decided that he couldn't feel any more so, so he'd better apologize to his friends and get it over with. Apologizing wasn't actually the problem... it was the disclosing his life and real identity that was.

"Er... can I talk to you?" Harry hedged as he stood in front of them. They looked up from the book they were sharing, and then at each other.

"Yes," Hermione said almost too eagerly. Ron looked less enthused. They had already made up their minds to talk to him again about whatever was bother him, and Ron didn't want another broken nose.

Harry motioned for them to follow him up to the boy's dormitory when he saw that the other seventh year boys were all down in the common room.

In their dorm Harry sat down on his four poster, and Ron and Hermione sat down on Ron's bed facing Harry expectantly.

"I er... I'm sorry," Harry said, scratching the back of his head. "For everything I mean. I didn't mean to hit you Ron... it's just that Draco's been really nice to me and he's been helping me, and then you went and said that about him and I lost control. And I haven't kept you in the dark because I wanted to... circumstances just made it so I felt like I had to."

Ron stayed silent and Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment before she asked, "What has Draco been helping you with?" She thought she knew what it might be, because she had looked up Harry's symptoms some time ago, and had seen Draco with the same symptoms in their previous year.

"I had an ulcer and he stole some potion and gave it to me."

"Draco Malfoy stole for you?" Ron asked incredulously. Harry nodded.

"I didn't ask him to, but he did. He said he was going to get an ulcer just watching me have one."

"Well why didn't you tell us? Hermione could have made the potion for you!"

Hermione elbowed him in the ribs. "That is a very difficult potion to make Ron. I couldn't get my hands on half the ingredients without a handful of Galleons."

"The ingredients are expensive?" Harry asked.

Hermione nodded. "Very. The potion itself is worth a small fortune."

Suddenly Harry felt very guilty. His father must have been paying a fortune to keep making the potion for him. He would have to talk to him about it later and offer to pay him back.

"My gran had an ulcer once," Ron said. "The Healer gave her some root to chew on because she couldn't afford the potion."

After another awkward silence, Hermione said, "But that can't be all that's been bothering you? I mean... you've been really off. Why did you want to be called James all term? We can tell you've been really angry about something."

Harry started to bite his lip again. This was the tough part. He wasn't sure they'd accept the fact that he wasn't Harry James Potter, but really Harry Snape.

"I uh... I found something out this summer about my parents, and you won't like it. I didn't want anybody to know until I got things figured out."

"What is it?" Ron asked, curious. He tried to think what exactly the worse news Harry could have gotten about his parents, but couldn't imagine anything.

"My dad isn't James Potter..." Harry was going to finish the sentence, but decided not to just yet because he wanted to gauge his friends reactions. Hermione raised her brows and Ron furrowed his brow, trying to think of who Harry's father might be.

An awful idea hitting Ron, he suddenly blurted, "Well it's not Lucius Malfoy is it?!"

"What?" Harry half laughed in surprise. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, because you and Draco... he was helping... it's not him?"

Harry shook his head. "No."

"Well who then?" Ron asked. Hermione seemed just as curious but was content to let Ron keep asking the questions at the moment.

Scratching his head, and waiting for the fallout, Harry said, "Our Potion's Master."

Ron snorted with amusement and tried to cover his laugh. "Come on Harry, be serious!" Hermione however saw the serious look on Harry's face.

She nudged Ron gently and said quietly, "I think he is being serious Ron." Ron stopped laughing and looked at Harry's face to assess the truth in that.

"No fooling? Snape's your father?"

Harry gave a single nod. "He and my mother went together in school. They were engaged after they graduated, and then one day she just up and left and married James a little while later, but not before she told aunt Petunia that I was a Snape. She let slip this summer."

"Oy." Ron made a face and looked sickened.

"Harry, we had no idea. We knew you were trying to deal with something big, but not this," Hermione said gently.

Harry shrugged. "I just wanted to make him as pissed off as I was. I didn't mind doing the detentions because I knew it made him mad every time I showed up late. But I don't have those detentions any more. He told me I didn't have to finish them."

"You told him?" Ron asked, looking shocked and also as if he were watching a soap opera unfold before him like on the Muggle picture box.

"He knows now. He's been giving me more ulcer potion."

"How did he take it?" Hermione asked.

Another shrug. "I dunno, ok I guess. He seemed surprised, but he wasn't angry. He just... accepted it I guess."

"So... what? You're going to go be his son now? Just like that?" Harry didn't like the tone in Ron's voice. It was almost accusatory.

"Well it's not like I'm switching sides or anything!" Harry said indignantly. He wanted his friends to understand desperately, but he didn't know how to make that happen. Hermione nudged Ron in the ribs hard again though, and Ron closed his mouth, which had been hanging open.

"Harry, it's great that you found out. I know it doesn't seem like it, but now you really do have a parent. Have you talked to him anymore about it?"

Harry shrugged for a third time. "Yeah, sort of. I don't know where it will end up though. I'm not used to having somebody tell me what to do."

Ron pulled a face. "It's awful," he said seriously. "You've seen the chores and things my mum makes me do. But you're seventeen now... you don't have to start doing what he tells you. You're an adult. I don't think you legally have to do anything he says at s point."

Biting his lip for a second, Harry said, "I know that." He looked at his watch and said, "I'm going to do some homework. All my grades are up and I don't want to let them fall again."

Hermione seemed surprised again and Ron pulled another face. "Your grades are all up?" she asked.

"I had to make sure they were up so they couldn't kick me out for being a troublemaker."

Impressed Ron said, "Thought it out didn't you. I reckon if Fred and George had thought about it they might have gotten better grades too."

Hermione retrieved her and Ron's books and homework from the common room and brought them back up to the boy's dormitory. The three of them studied on Harry and Ron's beds until the other boys came up to go to bed.

Before climbing into his own bed, Ron gave Harry one last assessing look that Harry didn't miss. He held his arms up for a moment, and said, "Still the same old me."

Ron nodded. "For now." And then he climbed into his four-poster and closed the curtains.

Draco was hoping to catch Harry after class to talk to him, but Snape seemed to be thinking along the same lines, and as students filed out of the room, he called, "Mr. Potter, please stay behind for a moment." Draco shot Ron and Hermione a knowing look, and Ron rolled his eyes. Harry didn't see the looks however as he wondered if he were in some kind of trouble again. Now that his father knew about him, Harry did not want to disappoint him by getting into trouble.

When the class was gone, Severus looked at Harry and said, "Your friends have been shooting the both of us curious looks all through class instead of paying attention to their work."

"Oh," Harry said, not sure if this meant he was in trouble or not. He wasn't sure if it was all right that he had told Ron and Hermione or not. "I told Ron and Hermione about... you know."

"I figured as much. It might be wise for the time being to ask them to keep the information to themselves. And Draco as well," he added.

"Why?" Harry's stomach churned. Great, he didn't want anybody to know that he was Harry's father. Was he that embarrassed about him?

"There are certain people who would find out about it and use it to your disadvantage. If those people currently believe you have no living family that you care about, then there is nothing to be used against you."

Feeling confused because he hadn't slept well again last night, Harry asked, "Are you talking about Voldemort."

There was a pause as Severus reveled in the fact that his son was not one to fear a name as the rest of the wizarding world did.

"Yes. I am talking about Voldemort, and his followers. I am not unaware of the prophecy and that you must either kill or be killed. I do not intend to let you fall into the latter category. There are measures that must be taken in order to ensure that you can defend yourself."

"I'm really good in defense. I have top marks every year."

Severus nodded, he already knew. Dumbledore had made sure that Harry had been well trained. He had even encouraged their little ‘club' to flourish after Umbridge was gone, and provided Harry and the others with several advanced defense books.

"There are more ways to defend yourself than with a wand." Seeing the confused look on his son's face, he said, "I speak of Occlumency. I was unaware that you possessed any skill in the art of reaching another's mind until the night you showed me your burdens."

"I didn't mean to," Harry said.

Severus nodded once. "I know. It is important that you learn. Just as you reached my mind, others can reach yours if you do not know how to defend yourself."

Suddenly Harry was biting his lip and looking nervous, and Severus did not fail to notice. "What is it?"

"Can somebody use that on you in your sleep?"

"In slumber the mind is the most weakened and susceptible to subterfuge. Why?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair. "Sometimes I have these really vivid nightmares... Voldemort is in them. It's like I'm watching through his eyes as he kills people. When I wake up my head hurts and my scar burns. A couple of times that I dreamt about somebody dying, I found an article about it in the paper the next day."

Severus was standing now and walking to Harry quickly.

"You have told no one else about this?"

Harry shook his head. "No."

"Come with me now then."

"But I have Charms."

Severus was shaking his head and taking Harry's arm gently as he lead him towards the door. "Not today. We have more important matters to attend to, and I will speak to the Headmaster about your absence."

Harry shrugged. "I don't think he'll care. I've missed a lot of class in the last few weeks."

Severus raised a brow. "That will stop immediately then, starting tomorrow. Am I understood?"

Harry nodded, rubbing his tired eyes as they walked down the hall towards the Professor's office. Last night he had had one of those dreams where he was Voldemort killing people. It had been a family of Muggles. Luckily there had been no children this time.

Instead of leading Harry to his office, Severus turned a corner and unlocked an intricately carved dark wooden door, and lead him inside.

Surprised, Harry found himself in a medium sized living room with several doors leading off of it.

"Where-"

"My quarters. They are well guarded by protective barriers and charms, and will allow us to be free of eaves dropping."

If anyone had told Harry that he would be getting invited into Severus Snape's private quarters even a week ago, Harry would have laughed, and yet, here he stood.

"What are we doing?" Harry asked cautiously. True, the man was his father, and true he seemed to have Harry's best interests in mind, but Harry was still having a hard time shaking the awkward feeling that he was becoming friendly with an old enemy. He was far to used to being wary of the man to readily accept and trust everything he told him.

"It is of paramount importance that you learn basic occlumency immediately. The dreams you have been having are actual visions from Voldemort's mind. Whether they are implanted or real, I cannot yet say, but if he has entered into your sleeping mind, he can easily gain access to your waking mind as well."

Suddenly Harry felt as alarmed as his father looked, and nodded. "Ok... so what do I do?"

"Sit down." Severus used his wand to move two black leather armchairs that didn't look that comfortable so that they faced each other. Once Harry was seated, he was surprised to find that the chairs were actually very comfortable.

"Now, close your eyes for a moment. Pick one image, or one color. Make it something simple. You must find something without meaning. Something void of emotion or thought. Hold on to this image with everything you have when you open your eyes. I am going to try to invade your mind, and holding on to this one image or color will keep me from seeing anything important to you. Are you ready?"

Harry bit his lip, but nodded, and opened his eyes. Severus looked straight into them and found himself surrounded by bright, blinding white light. Unable to block it out, even closing his eyes, he backed out of his son's mind, impressed that he had done it on his first try.

"Very good Harry. Listen to me carefully. Voldemort is very adept at the art of occlumency. He will exploit any weakness on your part to gain entrance to your mind. From inside your mind he can gain valuable knowledge, he can torture you, and possibly even command your body to stop working."

"What do you mean?"

"If you allow him to take control of your mind, with a single word he can tell your heart to stop beating, your lungs to stop breathing, your brain to stop working. He does not need a wand to kill you."

"Oh."

"It is important that you clear your mind with the image you have shown me every night before you go to sleep. If you do not occlude your mind before sleeping, then he will control it freely. I do not know whether or not he realizes yet that he has this connection to you. If you feel him in your mind at anytime, you must occlude your mind, even if he is not nearby. And then you are to come straight to me, even in the middle of the day, am I understood?"

Harry nodded, thinking that it would be very awkward to wake him up in the middle of the night, or interrupt one of his classes.

"Good." Severus looked down at his watch. "If you go now, you can still make it to the last half of Charms. If you do not have too much work this evening, please come back to see me in my office."

Harry nodded and stood up. He was halfway to the door when he stopped and turned to face Severus, who was still sitting in one of the black chairs, staring off into nothingness.

"Thanks... professor." Hm... that was too awkward. But was he supposed to call him father, or dad, or sir? He didn't know, and he didn't know if he felt comfortable calling him any of those.

Severus looked up at Harry, sensing the uncertainty in his voice. "You are welcome."

* * *

"Well, how's it going then? I saw you two looking at each other in class!" Draco seemed excited as he caught up with Harry after Charms and pulled him into an empty side corridor to get him away from the crowd.

Harry shrugged. "It's awkward, but I think he likes me a little."

"Is he giving you potion?"

Harry nodded. "He said I had to take it for a while after the ulcer went away to be sure it didn't come back."

"Yeah, they made me do that too but you'll be glad when it's gone, trust me."

"I have to learn something called occlumency."

"Yuck. My father tried to teach me that but I was daft at it. He ended up throwing a statue from the mantle at me because he was so mad. I didn't know uncle Severus knew how to teach it though or I would have asked him to do it."

"Uncle?" Harry wasn't sure if he had heard it right. "Are we... are we cousins?"

Draco shook his head. "Don't be stupid. Well... maybe fifth cousins or something like that. No, he's my godfather. Father insisted on it. I grew up calling him uncle though... that was at mother's insistence."

"Your family's strange," Harry said, but then thinking that perhaps if his mother was still alive that he might have grown up calling Sirius ‘uncle' as well.

"Yeah, they're something all right," Draco said. "Well, maybe you'll have better luck at occlumency then I did. I have to get to class. I'll see you at lunch." He hurried off and Harry headed for the common room. He had an hour break and needed some time to think about things.

* * *

Harry knocked on his father's office door after dinner that night and was invited to come inside. Now that he had seen his father's quarters he thought his office looked a little sparse and unwelcoming.

His father took a seat in the other visitor's chair, and seemed slightly uncomfortable about something.

"Are we doing more occlumency lessons?" Harry asked when his father hadn't said anything for a few moments.

"Not quite," Severus said. "I... wanted to ask if you would share something with me."

"Like what?" Was it just him, or was the air getting thicker?

"That night you showed me what was in your mind, I was allowed a brief glimpse into your life. I realize that it is a bit late to be getting to know... my son, but I do want to know about you."

"Oh, um... what do you want to know then?"

"The truth. I have greatly misperceived you these past seven years. I would like to know who you are Harry. Of course, it is your choice, but it is only a request."

Harry's voice cracked a little as he said, "I don't think you want to see what I've been through... you might..."

"What?"

Harry wasn't sure if he wanted to show him, because he might think less of him for it. He might think less of him for all the beatings he received, for all the housework he'd done, for all the time he'd run from Dudley and his gang of friends.

"You'll think I'm weak. You'll think I'm a fool."

Severus shook his head. "There is nothing you could show me to make me think that."

After long moments trying to decide whether or not to show his father the hell he'd lived through, Harry decided that he did want him to know, and looked up into his father's eyes, willing him to see into Harry's memories.

Severus found himself back at Four Privet Drive, in a cold, dark, cramped space, wondering where he was. Suddenly there was pounding somewhere to his left and Harry was pulling a little string to turn a light on, revealing a small cupboard. "Get up you lazy little brat!" It was his aunt shouting at him. "You can't pretend to be sick forever! Breakfast needs cooking and it better not be burnt this morning!" And then the memory changed.

Harry was a little older this time, perhaps seven or eight, and his uncle was advancing on him with fists clenched. "I didn't do it," Harry pleaded. "Didn't do what?" his uncle spat at him angrily, face already red, "didn't end up on the bloody school roof?"

"The wind caught me! Dudley was chasing me and I leapt and suddenly I was up there!" And then Harry was being pounded relentlessly. The memory was changing again, and Harry was in the back yard being beaten up by his cousin and one of his friends, and the memory changed again, and his uncle was pushing him under the water in an icy cold bath, and holding him under until he had nearly passed out. And again a new memory, and a nasty dog was biting Harry's leg as he cried and his relatives watched on, laughing uncontrollably as if they'd been told a fantastically funny joke, and then Harry was holding Cedric's lifeless body, and Sirius was falling through the veil, and he was rampaging in the Headmaster's office breaking everything in sight, and then there was blinding white light, and Severus was let free of his son's hold on his mind.

It was long quiet moments before Severus caught his breath. He looked up weakly into his son's eyes. "Were there no joyous moments in your life?"

Weak with the memories and effort it had taken him to show his father all of these things, Harry said quietly, "Not until I came here." And then he was willing his father to see the precious few truly happy memories he had.

Hagrid was telling him that he was a wizard and presenting him with his first ever birthday cake, he was being assigned a real bed with real blankets and a soft pillow, Ron and his brothers were outside his bedroom window in a flying car ready to take him away from Privet Drive, Harry was catching a Snitch, Harry and Hermione were flying Buckbeak to a tall tower and releasing Sirius from impending doom, his stomach was filling with butterflies as he asked a girl to go out with him, he was suddenly finding out that his father did want him, and then there was the brilliant white light again, and Severus was back in his office.

Severus was watching Harry curiously, and Harry was looking at his knees as he leaned back in his chair.

"Why did you not tell someone about the treatment you received from your relatives?"

Harry shrugged. "It didn't matter."

Frowning, Severus said, "It does matter," but Harry was shaking his head.

"You don't understand... you can't."

Severus sighed. He wanted to tell his son that he had grown up the same way, being beaten for no reason, being pushed under the icy water, being worked hard every day, but something deep down made him hold back, and he suddenly realized how Harry felt, thinking that perhaps he might think less of him for the things he had suffered. Severus worked hard every day to portray the image of a strong man who didn't let anything get to him. But hadn't Harry already broken down that barrier? First by getting under his skin, then by fighting him tooth and nail, and then, by breaking his heart?

"I understand more than you know."

Harry looked up and met his gaze briefly, but then the boy's eyes flickered back down to his knees. "None of it matters. None of it."

"How can you say that?" Severus didn't understand. He had struggled for years with what his father had put him through... had struggled well into his adulthood, and now here his son sat telling him that it didn't bother him at all?

Harry was biting his lip again. "Can, can we not talk about it anymore?" He chanced a glance up at his father in time to see him nod.

"Whatever you want Harry. It's getting late anyway. Perhaps you should return to your common room."

Harry got up and made for the door. He was almost out when a hand gently grasped his wrist. Harry stopped but didn't turn.

"Thank you... for showing me."

Harry nodded and walked out.

Harry got into his four-poster and pulled the curtains closed, not bothering to get undressed or kick his shoes off. It was only a minute though before Ron had pulled one of the curtains back a little and poked his head through.

"Hey, I thought we were done with all of this brooding James not telling his best mate what's going on stuff."

Harry cast a tired glance at his friend. "Sorry, I'm just not in the mood to talk."

"Because of Snape?"

Harry closed his eyes. "Ron, not tonight... please?"

Without another word Ron backed his head out of Harry's bed and left him to his thoughts. Harry knew he was supposed to be occluding his mind right now, but how could he when he was being eaten alive inside by thoughts that demanded attention.

Just when he thought he had gained an ally... more than that, a relative that might someday really turn out to be his father instead of his nemesis, Harry found out that it didn't really matter. What good was a father to him if he didn't understand? No better than Ron or Hermione, that's what. Yes, they were good friends, but he needed more than friends now. He wanted more. There really wasn't anybody who understood him well enough that he felt he could talk things out to. An unpleasant thought occurred to him as Draco popped into his mind. Perhaps Ron was right, and Harry would indeed switch sides, at least in Ron's eyes. Harry thought that there was one person who understood him, but Ron would never understand if Harry really got to know Draco and become friends with him. Snape being his father was something he couldn't help, but friends were like family that you chose.

Harry sighed and rolled onto his side. How was his father supposed to understand him if he couldn't understand why his past life didn't matter to him? It couldn't matter to him, and that was it. If it mattered then it was important, and if it was important, than it was something to feel grief over. Harry didn't want anymore grief in his life, so he chose to ignore the things that had happened. It was how he survived all those years of harsh treatment. And now here his father was trying to tell him that these things were important and that they did matter. He didn't want to think about it anymore.

Remembering that he was supposed to think of the white light before he went to sleep, Harry tried to conjure the brightness that would force any intruders out, but couldn't. His mood wouldn't allow for it. Instead he allowed a calming darkness to fill his mind. Darkness was something he knew how to deal with... something he had been dealing with for the past few months trying to sort this whole Snape business out.

Mind blank, Harry fell into a dreamless sleep, although when he awoke, he got the feeling that it had been anything but peaceful.

In the morning Harry left the dormitory without Ron or Hermione. He waved a feeble hello to Ginny when she tried to say good morning, but was in a hurry and didn't stop to chat with her. Instead Harry made his way to the Entrance hall very early in the hopes of catching Draco. There was no one in the Great Hall yet, so Harry waited outside, leaning on a pillar with the head of a lion on top. After what seemed like a long while a few students filtered into the Great Hall, and a tired looking Draco was one of them.

"Draco." Harry stepped forward when Draco had nearly walked past because he hadn't noticed him.

"Hey," Draco said, looking more awake and pleased. He had felt so nosy since finding out about Harry and his head of house, and he was more than pleased to get any information he could out of him. Not that he would use it, but he was certainly curious how this whole Potter Snape thing was going to work out.

"Want to sit together at breakfast?"

Draco shrugged. "For a little while."

They walked into the Great Hall, and took a seat at the very end of Gryffindor table, the farthest from the staff table. This way nobody would bother them about Draco being a Slytherin at the wrong table.

"Looks like you didn't get any sleep last night. What happened?" Draco asked as he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

Harry shrugged. "He wanted to see what my life had been like."

"And?"

"I showed him, but it wasn't pretty."

"What, did he get angry or something?"

"No no, nothing like that... he just... doesn't understand."

"Hm..." Draco thought as he chewed his eggs, wondering at the extra special spice that seemed to end up in Gryffindor's eggs.

"What part doesn't he understand? My father said that he didn't live such a perfect life himself before Hogwarts. Told me he saw his house one time... it was a shack."

Harry frowned. What did that mean? If his father had lived any form of his life then he should understand.

"I told him none of it mattered. He didn't get it. He kept trying to tell me that it did matter."

Draco spooned another bite of egg into his mouth and chewed carefully, as if he was suddenly treading on unstable ground. "That's hard to think about. Maybe he doesn't want to think about his own past or something... I dunno. Maybe he thinks if it matters to you then it's ok that it matters to him?"

Harry set his toast down. "What do you mean?"

Draco shrugged and watched warily as a first year Slytherin entered the hall and didn't notice him. "I don't know how to explain it to you. I get what you're saying... if it doesn't matter to you then it's no big deal and kind of seems like it didn't happen... I'm the same way. But what if it does matter to him? Maybe he can't get things out of his mind like we can, you know? To me finding out about you... was kind of like finding the only other person in this place that understood. Maybe that's all he wants."

"He wants somebody like him?"

"I dunno." Draco was standing from the table now. "I gotta go or they'll have a fit," he nodded his head towards a group of fifth year Slytherins entering the hall now. "Find me during break if you want. We can get out of the castle for a little while or something."

Harry nodded as Draco moved off. He almost didn't notice that Ron had entered into the Great Hall now and was walking towards him.

Draco's plate and glass vanished when Ron sat down in his place across from Harry.

"Hey, what's that all about?" He had a look on his face that said he was clearly disgusted.

"Nothing, he wanted to talk for a minute so he sat with me."

"But he's not getting you potion anymore, right? Because Snape's making it?"

Harry nodded, and in a vain attempt to change the subject, he said, "Thanksgiving is tomorrow night... can't wait until the feast."

"You're changing the subject Harry."

Harry set his fork down and looked across the table plainly at his friend. "Why do you care so much who I'm friends with? Why can't I be friends with whoever I want without you jumping all over me for it?

Ron frowned. "Because I'm your best mate, and you're not yourself. You're forgetting all the rotten nasty things those two have done to us over the years."

"Those two?"

"Malfoy and Snape."

"Well it's not like I have a choice about being a Snape Ron," Harry said, starting to feel irritated. "I can't help who my mother got together with before I was even born."

"Don't say that Harry. You're Harry Potter, not Harry Snape."

Harry stood up and clenched his fist. "This is why I don't talk to you anymore. You don't understand. You've had a family your whole life... brothers, parents, cousins... I haven't. And now I find out I do have family and you jump all over me for trying to figure things out. I am myself Ron, who else could I be?" With this Harry walked away before he ended up breaking Ron's nose again. It was a strong urge that he had but he didn't want to get pushed around by his father again, even if Snape said that he would never do such a thing again.

So far this was turning out to be a lousy morning.

Ron seemed to be steering clear of Harry for the rest of the day, and all the way through the feast the next night, but Harry wasn't sure what he thought about it. On the one hand it was nice not having Ron around to be worried about all the time, because he didn't like feeling anxious that his friend was judging him, but on the other hand he was his best friend and he didn't want to lose him and on some level it worried him anyway now that his friend was avoiding him. At least he still had Draco he thought, who had now informed him with certainty that they were sixth cousins on his mother's side.

"That means I have to get you a Christmas present now," Draco said after he swallowed a large bite of turkey at the feast. He and Harry were sitting at the far end of Gryffindor table again amongst looks of disgust from the other houses.

"Why's that?" Harry asked, feeling relieved to be sitting with somebody who understood him to some extent.

"Because we're family now... mother always insists every year that we buy something for every family member."

Harry swallowed hard. "You didn't tell anybody about me and Snape did you?"

Draco shook his head. "I'm not stupid Potter. I know what will happen if the Dark Lord finds out there is a connection between the two of you. I like Snape, and I'm not going to risk his neck."

"What about me?" Harry asked in a mock hurt tone.

"Well your neck is already on the chopping block," Draco said with a grin. "So no need to protect it."

Harry reached up and felt the back of his neck, suddenly not liking the image that had been put into his mind. He had been so preoccupied with other things lately that he had not had much time to think about Voldemort being after him.

"I don't know that much about you," Harry told him. "What if I get you something really awful?"

Draco laughed. "I've seen the clothes you wear. Where do you propose to get the money to buy me anything? Just forget about it Potter."

Harry stabbed at a piece of roast chicken with his fork irritably. "I've got money. I just never get the chance to go buy new clothes with it. Whoever I go to Diagonalley with is always rushing me around to get my supplies and then leave, and I haven't been allowed in Hogsmead for the last two years." Since Voldemort had been loose Harry had been banned from going to Hogsmead along with the rest of the students.

Draco rolled his eyes and said in a long drawn out way, "Mail order. Ever heard of it?"

Harry pointed at him with his fork. "Keep it up and I won't let you sit here anymore."

"Let me? I could be having dinner with my own house you know, but I thought you wanted somebody to talk with." It was almost a threat to get up and leave, and Harry took it. He did want somebody to talk to who understood, and Draco was it.

"I have to go back and get more potion tonight," Harry said dully, looking down at his almost empty plate and trying to change the subject. Draco allowed the topic change.

"Better to get it than suffer."

"It's just awkward is all. I wish it wasn't."

"Well yeah, how can it not be awkward? Can you imagine if I found out that my true father was somebody like... Arthur Weasley? Ugh!" He stuck his tongue out and made a face. "I'd be sitting there in that house of theirs fumbling all over myself not knowing what to say to people like that."

"You've been to the Burrow?" Harry asked curiously.

"Once," Draco said glumly. "We are related, however distantly. Fifth cousins or something... I dunno. Mother made me go with her when I was small. Said she needed to talk to Mrs. Weasley about something. I think she was asking them not to come to a big reunion we were hosting at the manor."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Does that mean I'm related to them too?"

"Unfortunately," Draco drawled after he swallowed a bite of food.

"Well, not unfortunately for me," Harry said. "I've never had a real family... even if me and Ron are tenth cousins twice removed that's still something."

Draco sighed. "You're strange Potter."

"Yeah, I'm not the only one." Harry threw an olive across the table and Draco laughed as he dodged to miss it. From down the table Ron gave a disgusted sneer, and didn't notice the Potion's Master and Headmaster sitting at the Head table viewing the pair of new friends getting ready to start a food fight. Severus wondered at how quickly the two had become friends, and Dumbledore wondered what had sparked the friendship in the first place. His Potion's Master had not yet informed him of current revelations and events, but he did have an inkling that something was going on.

With a promise from Draco to find out just how he and Ron were related, Harry left the Great Hall half an hour later for Snape's office in high spirits. Suddenly he was feeling like he was a part of something. What it was exactly, he didn't know. Somehow being related to somebody other than the Dursley's however made him feel good inside... connected and wanted. Even just being related to Draco Malfoy as sixth cousins or whatever was enough to spark some kind of feeling of unity within him.

Unfortunately for Harry, his high mood would not last throughout the night. Starting with a knock on the Potion Master's office door, Harry's mood declined rapidly.

The door opened and Snape stood there with a bottle of Potion in his hand. He stepped aside to allow Harry in, and closed the door.

"Thanks," Harry said gratefully, taking the potion and uncorking it. Severus nodded.

"How was the feast?"

"Er... good I guess." He swallowed the potion and remembered what Hermione said about each dose costing a small fortune.

"I saw you and Mr. Malfoy together... throwing olives." The last bit seemed... odd? Forced? Dangerous? There was something in the man's tone that set Harry on edge. Why was Snape watching him at meals?

"Yeah..." Harry wasn't sure what to say to get away from that tone his father had used.

"I did not realize that your Head of House did not go over proper etiquette during meal times."

Harry frowned, remembering McGonagall's long drawn out speech from years ago when he had first arrived. It was only two olives. True, Draco hadn't thrown any, but it was only in fun.

"She gave us the speech," Harry continued cautiously, not sure that he liked where this was going.

Snape sighed as he took back the empty potion phial that Harry handed him.

"It may be prudent to follow such rules. I do not wish to see you in any more trouble."

Now there was a new feeling in the pit of Harry's stomach. It wasn't the potion or the ulcer, but it was definitely uncomfortable. Was Snape telling him that he was going to punish him? Was he telling Harry that he was embarrassing him? Harry didn't know, but he thought that Snape had no right to either punish him or feel embarrassed by him. By all rights he'd only been his father for a couple of weeks now, and that didn't give him the right to anything except speak to Harry as far as Harry was concerned.

"You mean you don't want me to embarrass you," Harry said flatly, crossing his arms.

"That is not what I said," Severus told him, although thinking that the boy had nailed it dead on.

"No, but it's what you meant. You know, nobody even knows that you're my father, so you can stop worrying about being embarrassed by my bad table manners."

Harry turned to leave but a hand was once again holding him back by the wrist.

"It would not be a good idea to continue to display such an attitude around me... Harry," Severus said as calmly as he could muster. He did not want to fight, but the boy's attitude was grating on his nerves.

Now there was a definite fire and something in him playing to the beat of rebellion. Harry was having a hard time fighting it. Where did he get off telling him what to do?

He wrenched his wrist free of the loose grip and said, "Or what, you'll toss me away again? I'm 17, it's not like it would matter." Even while he said it, trying to remind his father that he was an adult and could not be told what to do, Harry knew that it did matter, at least to him. He did not want to lose the feeble relationships he had gained. He did not want to lose those connections that made him happy and made him feel like an important part of something. He did not want to lose his father.

Severus stood there, wondering what he could say with any kind of calm in his voice that would not escalate the situation. Why was Pott... Harry so angry? Had he truly not had any discipline growing up? Or had he been so over-disciplined that he was desensitized to it now? Thinking of nothing he could say without shouting, he decided to say nothing at all. Harry seemed to be thinking too, and after nothing more was said for a minute, Harry finally left, and Severus let him.

Damn, but this was so much harder now that the boy was his to deal with. Somehow it would have been easier if Harry was still just the bloody-boy-who-lived-to-be-a-pain-in-his-backside. If that had been the case then he would have given him detention for his cheek without hesitation. But no, now he had to deal with the boy's emotions and take into account the damage he might do to their fragile relationship if he said the wrong thing.

Wondering about how he could find out what was going on in Harry's mind without asking him and making it seem to Harry that he was prying, Severus thought to ask Draco and see if he would divulge anything. That would have to wait until the morning however, and he had grading to do in the mean time. Reluctantly he sat down behind his desk and pulled out a stack of papers. This was turning out to be a lousy holiday.

Ron shot Harry a dirty look as he climbed into the tower that night, but Harry chose to ignore it as Ginny came over to him and tried to strike up a conversation.

"Did you like the feast?" She asked him.

Harry shrugged, trying hurriedly to rid himself of his anger over what had just happened in Snape's office. He had a soft spot for Ginny since they'd dated the previous year, and he didn't want to be angry around her. "Yeah, I guess it was ok," he said trying to sound happy but failing. She noticed.

"What's wrong? I noticed you and Ron have been... well, off. Are you angry with each other?"

"What makes you say that?"

She looked across the common room and nodded towards where her bother still sat glaring at them. "He's over there shooting fireballs out of his eyes at you."

Harry turned around and glanced, suddenly alarmed, and then turned back around. "Oh," he said, realizing that she had only been joking... well, sort of. It was a pretty nasty glare. "He's angry about some stuff."

"Like?"

"Er... I don't think I'm supposed to tell you." Suddenly he wanted her to know everything. They had been very close before he had broken it off with her, feeling that she was unsafe as long as Voldemort was out for his blood.

She sensed that he wanted to talk and wondering if it was ok, she took his hand and lead him towards the portrait hole. Pleasantly surprised by the contact, Harry allowed himself to be lead out into the corridor, where he and Ginny sat on the floor next to each other with their backs against the wall.

"I'm here for you, you know that right?"

Harry nodded. Privately Hermione had informed him that Ginny had refused to date anyone else since they had broken up, and that she had been very concerned about him these past couple months, just as Ron and Hermione had. Unlike Ron and Hermione though, Ginny had given him his space, something he would be eternally grateful for.

"I know, thanks."

"Is Ron mad about something that happened between the two of you, or you and Draco or..."

"Me and Draco?" Harry questioned.

"Well you two are... dating, right?"

Harry choked on some spit and shook his head. "No! What made you think that?" He looked at her incredulously.

"Well, you were so... moody... and then you were hanging around with him... and after you'd broken up with me... Well I dunno," she said suddenly a bit loud, realizing by his reaction that she'd been wrong in her assumptions. "I guess I was wrong."

Harry let out a long sigh. "No, I still like girls." He glanced at her and said more softly, "I still like you."

She was biting her lip now. Truthfully Harry had picked up the mannerism from her. "Well," she said cautiously, "what's bother Ron?"

Letting his head fall back against the stone wall, Harry said, "Me and Draco are friends... well, actually we're cousins... kind of."

Her eyes widened and she leaned forward a little bit, interested in this new revelation. "Cousins? How?"

"My dad," Harry said warily, not wanting to think about Snape right now. "I er... well you can't tell anybody any of this," he said suddenly, and she nodded. He knew she wouldn't anyway, but he was worried that she'd reject him just as Ron had started to. Somewhere deep down he still held some kind of hope that they would get back together after this whole Voldemort business was over with.

"My dad isn't James Potter," Harry told her quietly, looking straight into her eyes because he wanted to judge what her reaction would be. She didn't answer, just sat listening attentively. "Don't laugh because I'm going to tell you the truth... It's Snape."

"Oh Harry," she said quietly in awe. "Are you sure?"

Harry nodded and went on to tell her about how he had found out and how he had wanted to make Snape pay for his pain.

"I had no idea. I'm so sorry. You could have told me and I would have been there for you."

"I know. I just needed to figure things out first. I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore."

"You're still just Harry," she said quietly. "My Harry," she added, wondering what he would say to that.

He looked into her eyes again, something squirming inside his chest waiting to burst out. It was that warm feeling he got whenever she caressed his hand, whenever they kissed, and whenever she caught his eye passing in a corridor or sitting in the common room. If he could, he would hold onto that feeling forever and never let go.

"Ginny, I..." he wasn't sure what to say. "I never wanted to break up with you. It's just so dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt. I couldn't handle that." He was the one biting his lip now.

"I don't plan on getting hurt," she told him gently, holding his hand now.

"I know, but neither did my parents... parent I mean. You have no idea how strange this is Ginny. You have no idea how strange it is to still think of James Potter as my father, but to know at the same time that he's not. And now Snape's trying to tell me what to do, and Ron's angry at me because he thinks I'm changing sides, and Draco's being so nice to me... it's all so confusing. Sometimes I just feel like I want to rip my hair out."

She squeezed his hand now and the confused chaotic feeling was ebbing away. God how he loved it that she could make that happen.

"Let me be there for you Harry," she said, leaning into him a little now. He wrapped one arm around her shoulder.

"You sure you want to date me? I mean, we are seventeenth cousins or something," he said with a small laugh.

"Mom and dad are eighth cousins," she said nonplussed.

"Oh, guess you don't mind then," he said, squeezing her tighter.

"I just want to be with you," she said softly into his ear.

Harry nodded. "Me too."

Suddenly nothing else that had happened earlier seemed to matter anymore. This was turning out to be an amazing holiday.

Harry turned around as Draco grabbed his arm and pulled him aside out of the throng of students. Ginny stopped as well and Harry motioned for her to join them, even at the confused look Draco gave.

"It's ok," he told him when Draco hadn't stopped gawking long enough to continue. "Stopped you for what?"

"About you," Draco said, as if Harry was hopelessly daft. "He wanted to know if I'd tell him anything about you."

"What do you mean... like what?"

"He asked if I knew why you were so upset about... you know." He tried to tell Harry without revealing anything to Ginny.

"It's ok," Harry said. "She knows everything." He had stayed up most of the night filling her in on everything that had gone on with him and Snape up to this point.

"Ugh, fine," Draco said. "He asked if I knew why you were upset with him about something he'd said about stuff in the past mattering."

"He told you about that?" Harry was suddenly shocked and angry that his father was spreading his personal life around.

"No," Draco said, exasperated. "He said it just like I just said it, word for word. But you told me you nit, and so I knew what was going on. I told him in a round about way what I thought was going on, but not that you told me anything. Then he wanted to know if I knew why you got mad at him last night."

"And? I didn't tell you anything about last night."

"No, but he told me what he said, and I told him that you didn't think he had the right to tell you what to do at this point."

"I never said that to you Draco," Harry said, taking his turn at being the exasperated one now.

"No, but it's true isn't it? Remember what I said about if I found out I was a Weasley?"

"What?" Ginny was surprised at the statement. Draco rolled his eyes and ignored her, trusting Harry to fill her in later.

"Well it's not that hard for me to imagine what you're feeling," Draco clarified.

Harry nodded in concession. "Well, I suppose that's ok. That is what happened last night. He thought he could just tell me to do whatever he wanted. I am 17 now."

"I just thought I'd tell you. I have to get to class or Snape will have my hide."

"You have Potions?" Harry asked, thinking that maybe he had forgotten his own schedule, because Gryffindor's and Slytherins always had Potions together.

"Charms," Draco said. "Snape makes all the Professors tell him if any of us are late, and then we're in for it. Later."

Draco disappeared and Harry turned back to Ginny. He had felt on edge when his father had told him that he wasn't allowed to be late or miss any classes anymore, but somehow knowing this was the case for all students he was in charge of, it didn't make him feel singled out anymore.

He kissed Ginny goodbye and ran off to Transfiguration.

* * *

Severus Snape sat uncomfortably in Dumbledore's office in the nicer of the two purple visitor's chairs. The old man sat quietly on the other side of the desk, fingers steepled. He had just informed him of Harry's true parentage.

"Are you sure?" the man asked.

"Quite," Snape said dryly. "I would not joke around about such a thing."

"No, of course not." He went back to his thinking, and Severus grew more agitated every minute that the old man stayed silent. He had just told him that he had a son and that it was Harry bloody Potter himself, and the Headmaster was acting indifferent.

"You didn't know, did you?" Severus asked. The question was almost accusatory in nature, but Severus knew the Headmaster and wouldn't dare put it past him to keep something like this to himself.

"No, I did not. I am surprised that Harry did not come to me with this."

"Well I am his father. It was appropriate that he came to me."

"If I remember right, he was quite distraught..."

"Only because he thought I knew about him and didn't want him."

"And?"

Severus sent an icy glare at the older man. "No, I did not know, and yes, he is my son and I most certainly do want him." He didn't know how to make it any plainer. He had thought he had already made it plain to him before, but apparently, "Harry is my son and I'm taking him home for Christmas," was not clear enough.

Dumbledore sighed. "He is 17 and I can no longer force him to return to the blood wards of four Privet Drive once the term ends. It is of course his own decision, but I should say that it would be more appropriate to set up the blood wards around your home so that he may return to you in time of danger."

He was going to say something, but Severus paused uncertainly instead. "I was unsure whether or not the blood wards would work for me."

"Would you die to protect him?"

Severus nodded. There was no question in his mind. Even before he knew that he was his son, he had made Lily a promise long ago to protect him, even at the cost of his life.

"Then the blood wards would work around you also. I will place them on your home before the Christmas holiday. That is of course assuming that he wishes to go home with you."

"Yes, assuming," Severus said with a sneer. True, Harry was not exactly happy with him at the moment because apparently he had overstepped his bounds as a newfound parent, but what was he supposed to do?

"I would suggest that you return home regardless," the Headmaster was saying, pulling Severus from his reverie. "Harry has spent every Christmas here since his arrival. Knowing now that he has a place to go, I would think that he might change his mind about spending yet another Christmas here alone."

"You're assuming he'll say no in the first place," Severus said as he stood up.

"Ah, am I? Perhaps."

Severus nodded, and bade the old man goodbye. Sometimes he got on his nerves worse than Harry did... worse than he used to anyhow.

* * *

"For Christmas?"

Severus nodded.

"Do I have to?"

Heart dropping a little bit, he replied, "No. If you truly wish to spend Christmas alone, then I will not force the issue," Severus paused, "However, I will be returning home for the holiday regardless. It seems the Headmaster has made it his personal mission to run my life, and has insisted that I do so."

"Hm," Harry pondered that. So he wasn't the only one with somebody trying to run his life.

"I'll think about it," Harry said. He did have a couple weeks left until the start of the break to think about it anyway.

Severus nodded and handed Harry his potion. A diagnostic spell had declared him ulcer free a few days ago, but he was still supposed to take the potion for another couple of weeks, so he swallowed it down, grateful to no longer feel his stomach eating him alive.

In the common room later that evening Harry told Ginny about the invitation. She seemed happy, but Harry didn't understand why.

"This is great Harry," she said. "I wanted to spend Christmas with you but mum insisted that Ron and I go home, and she already asked and the Headmaster said you weren't allowed to come with us, same as last year."

"So, I always spend Christmas here," Harry said, thinking that it wouldn't be Christmas if he couldn't spend it there in the tower. There were always some Gryffindors that stayed behind.

"No, but maybe this is your chance to straighten things out with him. You can't get closer to him if you don't spend any time with him."

"What do you think he'll do if I say no?"

"Well, I hardly think he'll force you to go with him. Didn't you say that's what he told you anyway?"

"Yeah, but he seems intent on telling me what to do."

Ginny smiled and gripped his hand. "Welcome to my world. Mum's always bossing us about. Usually it's dad who lets us get away with everything." Harry smiled. He loved the Burrow and wished he could go with Ginny for Christmas.

"I think it would be strange to spend the holiday with him. I don't even know where he lives. Draco said his father told him he lives in a run down old house. I don't want to spend the break doing chores for him."

Ginny tilted her head and gave him an expression that plainly said, ‘Really Harry? Do you honestly think he'd do that to you?' Harry laughed at the look.

"He hasn't made you do anymore detentions or cleaning has he?"

"No," Harry was shaking his head. She was right of course. Damned if she wasn't always right, but he loved her for how sensible she always was.

"I guess I'll think about it," Harry said, and Ginny kissed him on the cheek, garnering a dark look from Ron and a pleased look from Hermione from across the common room. She lead him off to play a game of ‘Quidditch Madness' a new game that had appeared in the common room that turned out to be just like real Quidditch, only with miniature little players that flew around the common room. Harry couldn't really get into the game though, because his mind kept drifting back down to the dungeons.

* * *

Severus Snape paced his office. It had been a week and a half, and Harry's name had still not appeared on the list of students that were going home. Harry hadn't said anything about it either when he had come down to the office to get the potion, and Severus was afraid to push the issue. He did want Harry to come home with him for Christmas, and was afraid that he'd reject him outright by saying no. This was not the first time the thought had crossed his mind that perhaps Harry was just too old to want a father anymore. Perhaps he had missed his opportunity, and the fact that he'd been the snarky dungeon bat that Harry hated for seven years wasn't helping him at all.

Finally feeling that he ought to sit down before he wore a hole in the floor, Severus sat in one of the visitors chairs and put his head in one hand. Quietly he thought to himself, ‘Why did you have to run off with that blasted arrogant Potter Lily? He was my son, not his, and now you've ruined things for the both of us.' He scolded himself mentally. He would have never talked to her like that in real life, and didn't think it appropriate that he talk to her like that when she was in the afterlife either. He didn't want to be angry with a dead woman, let alone his dead fiancé. But he had to do something, because he felt like he was going mad. He didn't like being rejected and had protected himself from it since Lily had left him, but now here he had a son, and wasn't able to protect himself from said rejection.

Damn his heart for tearing itself to shreds over anything to do with Lily... including Harry. If he wasn't so weak he wouldn't have opened up to the idea of having an son with Lily so fast and wouldn't be in this predicament now. He was supposed to leave Hogwarts for the break tomorrow evening, and it was going to be a miserable Christmas at that if he was going to be sitting there by himself wallowing... STOP! He tried to shake himself mentally. What was wrong with him? You're Severus sodding Snape for crying out loud! This isn't you! You don't wallow!

Severus stood and pulled out a bottle of fire whisky. Not bothering to pour it into a glass he took a swig and replaced the cork. Time for bed, he decided. It was already bad enough that he'd allowed himself to wallow, even if nobody else had seen, but he dare not let any of his students or any of the staff see him drunk.

Making his way to his quarters quickly, Severus lay down on his bed and suddenly felt very alone in the empty space. He sighed and stared at the ceiling, willing himself to just fall unconscious right there, but it didn't happen. Even with the whisky, it wasn't until sometime in the early morning that he drifted off into a fitful sleep in which dreams of Harry pointing and laughing at him taunted him until he woke.

* * *

Harry watched all day as people packed their things. He was trying not to let himself regret not getting his name down on that list in time, but he wasn't winning the private internal struggle. It seemed this year that the whole house would be empty. He had asked McGonagall that morning and had been told that every other student in the house would be leaving except him and one other boy, the second year American exchange student, who's family was coming to pick him up personally in a few days. Harry hadn't spoken to the boy yet all term, mainly because of his own mood, but had bumped into his older brother in Ravenclaw. They had been the reason they had celebrated Thanksgiving earlier in the term, although Harry couldn't deny that he had enjoyed the feast.

Ginny touched his hand lightly and pulled Harry from his reverie. He was sitting on a windowsill high in the tower looking out the window at the snow drifting down over the grounds.

"Hi," he said, looking down at her.

"Hey. Are you sure you don't want to go home?"

"Well, it's not really home. I've never even seen it."

She gave him a light frown. "You know what I mean. He obviously wants you there. I've seen him sulking."

"Really?" Harry looked up. Apart from his own private meetings with the man he'd never seen him show any emotions at all.

"Well, he didn't think I saw but I had to go back to class for something that I left and he definitely seemed off."

"Oh."

Harry sighed and Ginny climbed up onto the large window sill with him where she sat in his arms for the rest of the afternoon. Soon it was time for those returning home to depart on the train however, and Harry had to let go of her. He walked down to the station in Hogsmead with her and the others as the sun started to set and wished he was going to climb on the train with her. He wondered what they'd do to him if he did climb on board and just disappeared for two weeks.

Hermione gave him a hug and a sad look, and Ron fidgeted as Ginny said her goodbyes but didn't look up at Harry or say anything to him at all.

"I'll see you when I get back, and I'll write everyday," Ginny said, giving him a gentle kiss on the lips.

Harry got shivers from the kiss, but was warm all over at the same time. God he loved her for how she could do that to him.

"I'll be here," he said.

She smiled but he didn't fail to notice the sadness in her eyes as she let go of his hand and boarded the train with Ron and Hermione. Harry watched the train get a slow start out of the station and then disappear around the bend.

It was a long, lonely walk back up to the castle through the two feet of snow, and by the time Harry got back he was definitely in a mood. This was going to be the worst Christmas ever, including the one where Dudley made Harry climb up the chimney so that he could pretend that Harry was Santa Clause, and Harry got stuck. Uncle Vernon had left him up there all day before he had called the fire department to get him out.

Hands in his pockets and head down Harry made his way into the castle. He was on the third floor before he decided that he didn't want another rotten Christmas to add to his memories. Hurriedly Harry ran back down to the second floor and to McGonagall's office. She wasn't there. Unsure of where else to look, he ran to the staff lounge, and then the Transfiguration classroom, where he found her grading the last of a large stack of papers.

"Mr. Potter?" she asked. Harry was out of breath.

"I want to put my name on that list of people going home," Harry said. He'd never put his name on this list before, and now he was determined to have it on there at least once before he left Hogwarts.

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid the train has already left."

"I know," Harry said, "I watched it go."

"And how do you intend on getting home then?"

Harry fidgeted. He wasn't sure if she knew about him and Snape yet or not. "My er... my family's going to take me," he said, deciding that he didn't want to surprise her just now with the news and have to waste precious time explaining it to her.

"This is already arranged?"

Harry nodded.

"Very well then, I will put your name on the list." She waved her wand and a long roll of parchment appeared from thin air. Harry wanted to watch her but didn't want to miss Snape, so he shouted a hurried thanks, and ran off to pack, leaving her bewildered.

Harry stuffed his money sack and a couple shirts and pairs of pants into his backpack hurriedly. He was in such a frenzy that he almost forgot socks and underwear. Not having a thick coat to wear anyway, Harry settled for his thin sweat jacket and tore out of his room and down the stairs. The portrait of the Fat Lady shouted something about rudeness at his back as he tore out the portrait hole and down the hall.

By the time he reached the dungeons he was close to wheezing. He wasn't a runner, that was for sure.

Snape wasn't anywhere in sight, and while he hadn't checked his office or quarters yet he feared that he was already too late.

Deciding to try his office first because that's where he usually found him, Harry rounded a corner and came upon his father wearing his traveling cloak, and just stepping out of his office and locking the door. He hadn't noticed Harry standing there yet and Harry dropped his bag on the floor and stood quietly.

When Severus turned and looked up, Harry found a surprised look on his face.

"You- have decided to come with me?"

Harry picked up his bag and nodded once without a word. Severus nodded as well.

"Come to my quarters then. We will take the floo." Harry didn't understand it, but there was no denying the look of relief that flashed in his father's eyes, if even only for the briefest moment.

Harry followed his father down the halls to his quarters, and waited patiently as his father unlocked the door and lead him inside. He couldn't help his stomach from squirming. He wondered if he was doing the right thing, and just how awkward the whole thing would turn out to be by the end. But as he stepped into his father's quarters and over to the fireplace to floo to his unknown destination, Harry had some sense that this was better than the alternative, which was either spending Christmas alone or spending it with the Dursley's stuck up the chimney all day.

"I will be a moment," Severus told him and disappeared into another room. As Harry waited he took the time to survey the man's quarters again. There was a long, comfortable looking black leather couch along with the two chairs he and Snape had occupied the last time he'd been there. There were pictures of mountains and forests on the walls, and... a fishing pole? Yes, there was an old fishing pole on two hooks on the wall above the fireplace. Harry had been fishing once during a school trip in the first grade, but Dudley had pushed him into the water before he got to cast his line in even once, and his teacher had made him sit on the bus for ‘playing in the water' for the rest of the day.

Suddenly Snape was beside him and he was startled out of his reverie. "Here," his father said, handing him a canister of floo powder.

Harry took a handful and asked, "Where are we going?"

"Snape Residence. I will step through first so that you can look for me on the other side and get out at the right grate."

Harry nodded and moved aside to let him pass. Severus had no luggage with him and Harry wondered if he had already taken his things home. Inside the grate Severus shouted, "Snape Residence," and disappeared in a whirlwind of flames. Harry waited a few moments and then followed suite.

He hated traveling by floo, but didn't know how to apparate yet so this was the next best thing. "Snape Residence," Harry shouted, and suddenly he was spinning and trying not to barf as images of hundreds of living rooms flew past him. But it wasn't too long before he saw his father standing there and he stepped out, nearly falling flat on his face.

Coughing because he had inhaled some of the ash, Harry stood up straight and looked around. He was in a large rectangular living room with bookshelves on all four walls. There were two large comfortable brown couches in the middle and a door on the far wall. It certainly wasn't a shack, Harry thought to himself, and he'd have to tell Draco that later.

He turned to see Severus watching him and wondered what he was supposed to say. "It's nice," Harry said. It was the truth. He'd take this over aunt Petunia's floral couch and nasty rose wallpaper any day.

"It is the house your mother and I bought just prior to her... departure."

"Oh..." Harry shifted feet and Severus cleared his throat.

"I'll show you to your room."

Harry followed him out of the living room and into the hallway. Severus showed him the door to the dining room before they passed another shorter hallway that led to the kitchen and Snape's Potion Lab. At the end of the hall there were two doors. The one on the right, he was told was his father's bedroom, and the one at the end was his own.

Severus opened the door and moved aside to allow Harry entrance. The room was pretty sparse with the exception of a bed, a large wardrobe, a desk and chair, and a large window. Harry moved to the window to see what the rest of the property looked like, but it was too dark outside to see anything. For all Harry knew they could be in the middle of the city, or out in the mountains, or near the ocean. He couldn't tell.

"Where are we?" He turned and asked as he set his bag on his bed.

"In the mountains of Gildwyen. Ilwyn Lake is on the North East corner of the property. You may explore it tomorrow."

Severus turned to leave but suddenly not wanting to be alone in this foreign place, Harry asked, "Where's Gildwyen?"

Motioning for him to follow, Severus left the room. He took Harry down the smaller hallway to the left and into the kitchen where he asked if Harry was hungry. Harry nodded and Severus told him that he was allowed any food in the house. Harry moved to the fridge and pulled out the supplies to make a sandwich.

"Gildwyen mountains are not far from Hogwarts. There are relatively few who live this far out. Our nearest neighbor is ten miles over the mountain pass. These mountains were once considered by the Hogwart's founders as a potential place to build the school, but it was inaccessible to students and parents at the time however so they chose to build at a lower elevation.

"I've never heard of these mountains."

"They are not on Muggle maps. A tribe of elves used to live here but have long since abandoned the mountains for more favorable locations."

"You mean like house elves?"

Severus chuckled. "No. Regular elves. Have you learned nothing in History of Magic?"

Harry shrugged. "We just try not to fall asleep."

Crossing his arms as Harry took a bite of his ham sandwich, Severus said, "Regular elves look like you and me, but have more feminine characteristics... they are generally tall and lean and more often than not they are blond. I believe the Malfoy's have some elvery in their ancestry.

"Really?"

Severus nodded.

"Do we?"

"No."

"Oh... that's too bad. Did you know Draco and I are sixth cousins? I'm cousins with an elf."

"And how did you come across this information?"

"Draco told me. Suddenly he remembered his conversation with Draco and was reminded that he hadn't bought any Christmas presents yet.

"Can we go to Diagonalley before Christmas?"

"Why?"

"I need to buy presents."

"I was not under the impression that you had money to spend." He eyed Harry's sneakers which currently had a big hole in the side of the left one.

Harry grumbled. "That's what Draco said. I have money in my vault, but nobody ever gives me a chance to buy clothes when we go."

Severus thought on it for a moment. "Very well. We will go the day after tomorrow, but we will need to take precautions."

"Like what?"

"You and I cannot be seen together, and it is unsafe for you to be seen in public at all. I will brew a temporary look normality potion so that nobody will recognize us."

Harry had the urge to say ‘Sweet!' but resisted and settled for a smile. He hated being noticed in public. People always stared at his forehead.

After he finished his sandwich Harry was about to leave the kitchen to go unpack his things, but he stopped in the doorway and asked, "Have you been here recently?"

"Not since the start of term."

"Then how come there was fresh food in the fridge?"

Severus motioned for Harry to go back to the fridge and held up a sheet of paper attached to the side with a pen hanging from a piece of yarn.

Harry looked at the paper and found a faded list of the things in the fridge, which wasn't much, but had been enough for a sandwich and an glass of milk.

"I have an open account with a grocer in Hogsmead. Whenever I enter the house with the intention of staying, a replenish charm on the fridge orders whatever is on this list."

"So you can get whatever food you want?"

Severus nodded. "Within reason. The grocer will attempt to find whatever is on the list that is not in the fridge and deliver it within the hour."

"Hm..."

"Was there something else you wanted?"

Harry shook his head. "Nope, that just explains how Mrs. Weasley always has food but never goes to the store though."

"Indeed."

Harry thanked him and went back to his room. Suddenly he wished he had been able to drag his entire trunk along with him. He had some old posters that Ron had given him that he hadn't hung up in their dorms yet that year. At least the room wasn't painted green, he thought with amusement.

After a while Severus appeared in his doorway and bade him goodnight.

"The grounds are large, and there is an undetectable protection charm on them. If you leave the boundaries of the charm you will not be able to find your way back without the password. I suggest you stay within the house for now, and ask before you leave." There, that didn't sound to much like he was bossing him around, did it?

Harry seemed satisfied with these terms however, and nodded. "Ok."

"The Headmaster has placed the blood wards on this home as well as four Privet Drive. From now on you will no longer have to return to your relatives to remain safe."

"You told Dumbledore?"

"It was in our best interest that you did not just turn up missing for the holiday."

"Oh. What did he say?"

Wondering that Harry cared so much what the old man thought, Severus said, "Not very much. I will see you in the morning. Good night." He left and closed Harry's door on his way out.

Alone in his new room, Harry lay back on his bed, wishing he had brought some pajamas. For now he would have to settle for a t-shirt and jeans. He lay back on his bed on top of the covers and sighed. Yes, this was definitely better than the Dursleys.

Feeling uncomfortable at the idea of peeing on one of his fathers prized ingredient plants, and also feeling uncomfortable at the idea of waking him up in the middle of the night, he looked at his watch and wondered if he could hold it until morning. It was four am... nope. He definitely couldn't hold it until six or seven when Snape woke up.

Making up his mind Harry padded down the hall in his socks and knocked lightly on his father's door. It had been a light enough knock that he thought he might have to try again harder because surly that wouldn't wake Snape up, but a moment later and Snape was opening the door, surprising Harry.

"What is it? What's wrong?" He seemed alarmed, and Harry felt guilty for waking him.

"Bathroom?" He asked sheepishly.

Severus rubbed one eye. "Yes, of course. I forgot to tell you." He stepped out of his room and walked down the hall towards the living room a few feet, and said, "Bathroom." Suddenly a door appeared to the right and Harry thought it would lead straight into the living room. Upon opening it however he found a large bathroom with a bath, a shower, a toilet, and two sinks.

"Thanks," Harry said, and hurried in as Snape moved back down the hallway to go back to bed.

Feeling better now that his little problem was taken care of, Harry went back to his room, but found himself unable to fall back to sleep. Instead he went to the kitchen and used the magical grocery list to request some new food items, hoping that it would be ok with his father since he was paying for it. If he was angry, Harry told himself, he would just pay for the eggs and other ingredients out of his own vault.

He checked the fridge but found no new items. Wondering if he had done it wrong, he remembered that it might take some time for the items to appear. While he waited Harry wished he had one of his school books, but remembered the walls of books in the living room and decided to see what books his father had.

The wall of books by the fireplace was all Potion's texts, and the wall by the door was all Defense texts. There were a few dark arts books Harry came across, but they looked old and unused, and had cobwebs and a thick layer of dust on them. Harry wasn't sure why but this put his heart at some ease.

After a while he settled down with a defense book he had never seen before and read for an hour. When he had read the third chapter he rose to see if the food items had appeared yet. When he opened the fridge door he found all he had requested along with a note reading: ‘Wait til' a decent hour to order next time.'

"Whoops," Harry said. He hadn't realized that the grocer himself would have to get up to send the order.

It was almost six o'clock now and he wondered if it was too early to start cooking breakfast. Deciding that it wasn't because the Dursley's always liked to rise this early and eat by six thirty, Harry pulled out the eggs, sausage, and bacon, and started cooking. He found all the pots and pans he needed in various cabinets, and used a cleaning spell to get the dust off.

With the coffee he had ordered he boiled some water and made it the hard way because he had not found a coffee pot. He hated to drink coffee himself, but he loved the smell of it, and he was sure that he had seen Snape drinking coffee in his office during those late night detentions with him.

At six thirty exactly breakfast was ready and Snape appeared fully dressed at the kitchen door.

"What's this?" he asked, surprised to see Harry up and cooking.

"Breakfast's ready," Harry said, just finishing putting everything onto two plates. Severus walked over and Harry moved aside so that his father could see what he had made.

"I did not realize that you knew how to cook."

Harry shrugged. "Had to cook every morning for my family."

"Hm... I did not realize you considered them family."

He didn't really, but he didn't know what else to call them, and he told his father so.

Harry carried the plates to the dining room and set them on the small square table, and Snape carried the one cup of coffee that Harry had made in with him.

When they were halfway through breakfast, Harry said, "Why is the bathroom invisible?"

"When we purchased the house there was not a bathroom. Instead of adding onto the house we created a magical room that must be called into existence."

"Are there any more magical rooms here?"

"A broom cupboard near the front door and a storage closet in the lab."

"Oh, can you teach me to make rooms like that?" Harry thought it would be a useful skill to have in time of danger... he could see himself making invisible rooms to hide out in when Voldemort or Filch was after him.

"Yes, but it requires three wizards to do so. One wizard must be inside the room as it is being created, another must be on one side of the wall the room will be a part of, and one wizard on the other side. The timing must be exact and there is an enormous amount of energy required. We lost Remus Lupin for two days and could not find him when we failed at making another bedroom."

"What?" Harry choked on his eggs because he was laughing. "How did you find him?"

"He turned up in the broom closet glued to the wall. We had to cut his clothes off to get him out... the clothes he was wearing that day are still there stuck the wall."

Harry laughed. He knew his mother had been friends with Remus, but he didn't think he and Snape were on good terms. Seeing the thoughtful look on Harry's face, he said, "Lupin came at Lily's request."

Harry nodded. "Well, at least he turned up."

"Indeed."

After breakfast Harry asked if he could go explore the grounds. Severus told him that he could provided that he stay out of the herb garden at the back of the house and be alert for a tingling sensation, because this would mean he was about to pass out of the security perimeter.

"K," Harry said. "I'll be back to cook lunch." He turned to leave through the front door, but Severus stopped him.

"Harry, you do not need to cook for us." Judging by the memories he had seen in Harry's mind, the cooking he had done for the Dursley's was not voluntary. He did not want Harry to feel like a slave in his new home.

"I know," Harry said with a smile, and walked out the door.

Harry was astounded by the beauty of the property the house was on now that it was light outside. The house wasn't far at all from the lake, which was a clean blue and half frozen, and was surrounded by snowy trees. Harry walked along the edge of the lake for a while and came to a creek, which he decided to follow back towards the back of the house. The almost frozen creek split and he followed one branch for a short while before he felt a tingling sensation. He doubled back and took the other branch of the creek which wound through trees and a small pasture. He could no longer see the house, but he hadn't felt the tingling sensation again, so he knew he couldn't have left the property yet. The forest along the wide creek was beautiful, and Harry thought he understood why his parents had picked this place to live. He would choose this over suburbia any day. He couldn't wait until spring to see what it all looked like sans snow.

It was just barely noon when Harry felt the tingling sensation again and he figured he'd better turn back. Instead of walking all the way back around he thought he could cut left through the trees and end up at the house, so he started back. It was only a few minutes before he came out of the woods and into the open grassy area near the house. It wasn't quite a yard because it hadn't been mowed... maybe in forever, but Harry loved it all the same. Severus was waiting for him in the kitchen when he returned at 12:30.

"Something smells good," Harry said as he entered the dining room and then the kitchen. Severus was standing at the counter dishing up shepherd's pie.

"You cook too?" Harry asked.

Severus nodded. "When one lives alone, it is necessary to learn."

"But you live at Hogwarts all year," Harry thought out loud.

"We are not at Hogwarts now, are we?"

Harry shook his head. "Nope, and I'm glad you can make Shepherd's pie because it's my favorite and it's one of those recipes I could never get right."

"Hm..."

They sat down at the table to eat and Harry told him where he'd been.

"What are those two creeks called?"

"The one that branches off to the west is Hawthorn Brook, named after the man we bought the property from. The one that goes back around to the south is Lily Brook."

Harry looked up. "Really?"

"I named it that the day we moved in and went hiking to see what was around."

Harry tried to imagine Snape and his mother together again. He had been trying to see them together in his mind, but he'd spent so many years imagining her and James Potter together that it was hard.

After lunch Harry took the defense book he'd been reading earlier out into the front yard to try out some of the spells, and Snape accompanied him, correcting his wand movements or pronunciation every now and then. By dinner Harry had learned three new shields and four new attack spells, one of which contained a mild sticking charm within it's workings, and made the person being attacked stick to whatever they touched. Severus informed Harry that this would be useful in a battle because if several death eaters were cursed in this manner, they would end up sticking to each other, because it was a tactic to attack in groups, and generally there was a lot of bumping and jostling.

Before they headed in for dinner, Harry looked out at the enormous lake, and asked, "Are there any fish in there?"

Severus looked at the lake too. "Yes. Many. There is a river to the north east that feeds the lake."

"Do you fish?"

Severus raised a brow. "Are you asking because you saw my fishing pole?"

Harry nodded.

"Yes. On occasion."

"I didn't think wizards fished," Harry said as Severus turned and they headed inside. Harry liked being outside, but apart from the fact that his nose and hands were frozen, he was also getting hungry.

"I am not a full blooded wizard."

"Oh." Harry hadn't known that. If they were related to the Malfoy's and Weasley's he thought that Snape must have been pureblooded.

"Disappointed?" He opened the door and let Harry go in first seeing his think sweat jacket.

"No, just surprised is all."

"Hm... my father used to take me fishing in the summer. We would stock the freezer with fish and be able to eat fish year round."

"Must have been a big freezer."

"Very."

Over dinner, which happened to be leftover Shepherd's pie, Severus asked if Harry had ever been fishing, and he told him about the school trip he had taken once.

"Then the answer would be no."

"Uh yeah... no."

Severus raised a brow. "Perhaps when the snow melts we can go fishing."

"Really?"

"If you wish."

Harry nodded enthusiastically. Sometimes Uncle Vernon took Dudley fishing during the summer, but Harry was never allowed to go.

Sleeping in his jeans again that night, Harry thought that he'd better buy some pajamas in Diagonalley the next morning because he didn't want to sleep in his day clothes for two weeks. In the morning he rose early again to fix breakfast, but found that Snape had beat him to it.

When they were finished he held up two flasks of potion. "This will make us unrecognizable to anyone who sees us, but the potion must be taken every two hours, and you can only take it four times before you will get sick.

"So we have eight hours?"

"Roughly."

"Are we going to apparate?"

"Yes."

"Can you teach me?"

Severus eyed him closely. Apparation lessons had been canceled at Hogwarts because it was no longer safe to take classes off the grounds to practice, so parents were teaching their seventh years at home.

"Do you like using the floo?"

Harry shook his head. Definitely not.

"Then you may not like apparition." Harry's heart sank.

"Why not?"

"It is much the same as using the floo. When a wizard uses the floo, old magic put in place by the Ministry apparates a wizard. Learning apparation is training your mind to use the same old magic."

"But without all the fireplaces?"

"Yes. Apparation is quicker and more accurate. There is no need for an apparation node to use it such as with the floo network."

"Well, it's cleaner... I'd rather use it than the floo."

"Pay close attention then," Severus said, coming closer to him. He drank from his flask of potion and motioned for Harry to do the same. Once he had, Severus gripped his arm and they disappeared. Harry felt himself spinning and closed his eyes, not wanting to barf. But after only a few seconds, it was over, and they were standing in Diagonalley.

"I can still recognize you," Harry said to Severus, wondering why the potion was not working.

"We drank from the same batch, and therefore are able to recognize each other."

"Oh. Will they let me into my vault at the bank then if they don't know me?"

"The potion does not work on Goblins, unfortunately."

They headed to Gringotts and Harry withdrew a bag full of money... about the amount he spent on his school books and supplies each year. He thought that since he was there he might as well get more clothes than pajamas.

Their first stop was the bookstore where he got Hermione and Ginny a book, and picked up yet another new Quidditch game to give to Draco. Next they went to the Quidditch store where Harry got Ron a new Chuddley Cannon's poster and a pack of Quidditch trading cards, and then onto the clothing store.

Harry picked out five new shirts, four pairs of pants, and some new sneakers and pajamas. He was taking it all to the counter to pay when Severus walked up with a heavy brown jacket Harry's size and set it on the counter along with a handful of Galleons.

"I'm paying," Harry said, and Severus waved him off.

"It is my duty to buy your clothes. Do not worry about the price." Harry grumbled something about him not needing to do that but the witch at the counter had already taken Snape's money before Harry could tell her not to take it.

Severus shrunk Harry's bags of clothes as he had done the rest of the gifts and stuck them in a pocket so that they wouldn't have to carry so many heavy things around.

"I must go to the apothecary," He told Harry outside the clothing store. "I will meet you back here in one hour."

Harry nodded and headed off to visit Fred and George at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, forgetting about the potion he had taken until Fred and George didn't recognize him and kept passing him by. Finally Harry purchased a few things and gave up on trying to get their attention in the busy shop.

He still had half an hour and he was wondering what to get Snape. And what if Snape didn't get him anything in return? He didn't really care, but he didn't want to make him feel any more awkward. Deciding to get him a gift and give it to him regardless, Harry set off down the line of shops again, wondering what kind of thing he would like. He obviously liked books, but there was no way for Harry to know which ones he already had. Finally Harry had an idea and ended up buying a large picture frame and a wizard's camera, both of which he shrunk to fit in his pocket. He met Snape in front of the clothing shop, and they headed towards the entrance to Diagonalley.

"Did you get everything you need?"

Harry was about to say yes when he spied something shiny in a small forgotten jewelry shop that he'd never been inside.

"Just a minute," he said, and left his father there as he hurried off into the shop. He came out a minute later with a think necklace with a little golden snitch on it.

"You like to wear jewelry?" Severus asked, brows raised so high that they disappeared into his long bangs.

Harry frowned and looked up at him. "It's not for me!" he said indignantly. "It's for Ginny!"

"I thought you bought her a book."

"And this," Harry said, pocketing it and being careful to make sure it was safely stored away.

"Hm..." Severus had seen them together before but had not realized they were dating. Or perhaps Harry was only hoping to date her? Thinking that perhaps his son might get offended if he asked because he might be ‘overstepping his bounds' again, he decided not to, and instead apparated them back to the house.

* * *

The next week went by smoothly. Harry pulled out an old box of Christmas decorations stored in the hidden broom closet and strung up some shiny Muggle garlands around the living room and his bedroom, and Severus surprised him by conjuring a living Christmas tree in the living room. Harry was informed that it had not been cut down, but was only an image of a tree outside. Harry was amazed because it smelled and felt like a real tree, and even the snow on it looked real and felt cold to the touch, but never melted on the floor. Harry decorated it with a small box of ornaments he had found with the other decorations, and Severus used a charm that Flitwick used on the Hogwarts trees to light them up with conjured fairies.

Harry wrapped and sent away the presents he had bought for his friends, and secretly prepared the present he was making for his father. He had no idea if he would like it, but he really hoped that he would.

Finally it was Christmas morning and Harry woke up to find hot chocolate and cinnamon roles in the living room on the coffee table.

Harry grinned widely as he at down on one of the couches and picked up a cinnamon roll. "You like sweets for breakfast?"

"Hardly. Your mother said it was a family tradition to make these things for breakfast on Christmas morning."

"But aunt Petunia never made these."

"Petunia Dursley is a stiff, unbending woman. I doubt she'd allow sweets into any meal."

"Yeah, well until a few months ago I thought you were a stiff unbending professor."

"And now?"

Harry chewed slowly, not sure if he felt comfortable expressing himself in front of his father just yet.

"Now you're just... my dad." There, he had said it, and if he got in trouble so be it but he couldn't handle not knowing what to call him anymore... sir, professor, Snape, father... he just wanted to be clear on it once and for all.

Eyes alight with something, Harry wasn't sure what, Severus looked up in surprise.

"Then I am glad to hear it." God, he would have made cinnamon rolls every morning for the boy to hear that again. He had wanted to hear it, but had come to an agreement with himself not to hope to hear it, otherwise he knew he'd be disappointed. But instead he'd been given a wonderful and unexpected Christmas present.

"Want to open presents?" Harry asked, seeing the pile of gifts under the tree. Gifts had been arriving all week by owl. It had taken three separate trips by Pig and the Weasley's new owl Xeres to get all the gifts to Harry and Snape. Harry had seen one there addressed to Severus from Ginny, but had hidden it in the back, hoping it would be a surprise.

Severus nodded and Harry hurried from the couch to kneel by the tree. He started sorting through gifts and tossed a small one up to Severus, who caught it with ease. He opened it while Harry opened a gift from Molly Weasley, which turned out to be a blue sweater with a big H on the front.

"Apparently we were not the only ones thinking about new clothes for you," Severus commented dryly, seeing the sweater.

Harry shrugged. "She makes all of us one every year."

Severus finished pulling the paper off of his package to reveal a large bag of sugary lemon drops from the Headmaster.

"You like those?" Harry asked, surprised.

"No. I believe he is telling me not to be a lemon."

"Oh," Harry giggled, and Severus set the lemon drops down on the table and pushed them towards Harry.

Harry threw another small gift to Severus and opened up a book from Hermione, which was an Auror's training manual. "Cool," Harry commented before opening up his present from Ginny, which was a soft hand knitted scarf with the initials H and G with a little heart in the center. Harry rubbed it against his cheek and wished she was there with them. Severus did not fail to notice, but tried to pretend he wasn't watching.

"What did you get?" Harry asked, looking up at whatever Severus had opened. "A peacock quill from Minerva."

Harry then pulled out the enormous package that had been hiding behind the tree and carried it over to his father.

"Who is this from?" he asked quizzically. He was not used to being given large items.

"Me." He looked up at Harry with that surprised look again.

"Thank you. You did not have to get me anything."

"I know," he said.

Severus pulled the wrapping paper aside to reveal a large photo of Lily's Brook with a dear drinking from the small creek in the snow. Harry had waited for hours in the cold behind a bush hoping to catch some kind of wildlife in the picture. He had written Ginny after that and asked her for a spell to make the picture come to life and she had written back the next day with the spell he needed to get the picture from the camera and then add life to it.

"When did you do this?" Severus asked, admiring the picture.

"Two days after we went to Diagonalley. I had to wait in the snow forever to get the doe in there."

"It is beautiful, thank you."

Harry grinned and went back to the tree.

"Open the one with red and gold stripes," Severus told him.

Digging through the pile Harry found said present and pulled the paper off of it. Pulling the top of the box off revealed a photo album with him and his mother on the front cover.

He looked up at his father and then back down to the album. Inside he found picture after picture of Lily and Severus. Lily painting the kitchen blue, Lily and Severus walking along the lake, Lily and Severus at Hogwarts studying, Lily and Severus decorating the Christmas tree...

"Thank you," Harry said softly, running his fingers over the page of Lily decorating the tree while Severus brought in hot chocolate.

"I know you have an album of Lily and James, but I thought this was more... appropriate."

Harry nodded. "I love it, thank you."

Forcing himself to abandon the picture album, Harry went back to the present pile and handed his father the gift from Ginny, which turned out to be a picture of he and Harry that she had snuck when they were talking in the hall at Hogwarts and weren't looking.

"She knows?"

Harry nodded, moving to see the picture. "I didn't know she got a picture though. She's sneaky."

"Tell her thank you."

Harry nodded that he would. Severus used his wand to make a duplicate of the picture, and gave Harry a copy to put in his picture album. Just at that moment Harry had no doubt in his mind that this was the best Christmas ever.

"You know, Ron is still worried about you."

Harry hugged her tighter. She was sitting sideways on his lap with her head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around her on the couch in the far corner of the common room. Ron studied on the other side with Hermione, trying to figure out a tough Transfiguration assignment. Almost as if he knew he was being talked about, he glanced up at them, and then his eyes flitted back down to his work as if he hadn't noticed them at all.

"Why is that?" Harry asked softly, reveling in her fresh strawberry scented hair.

"I think he's worried Professor Snape will have a bad influence on you. I heard him telling our dad so, begging him to do something about it since he works at the Ministry."

"And?"

"Dad didn't put much stock in it. Ron sulked all Christmas."

"Well I haven't done anything to prove those suspicions true have I? Aren't I still the same old Harry?" He grinned as she leaned back, a smile on her face as well.

"Better."

"Oh yeah?"

"Well the old Harry dumped me and then didn't speak to me all summer... the new Harry seems to have come to his senses. Maybe that logical thinking your father has has just worn off on you." She giggled.

"I'll give him that... it's all logical with him... except the mystery, wrapped in a riddle part."

"An enigma?" She giggled again. They had talked about how mysterious Harry felt his father to be sometimes. Just when Harry thought he had a handle on the man and his emotions and history, he was surprised each time to find out he was mistaken. Ginny had suggested that he was an enigma: a mystery wrapped in a riddle that was meant for Harry to figure out.

"Maybe this is supposed to be fun for you, figuring out who he is."

"Maybe he's supposed to just be a normal person. Do you know what he asked me the other day? Asked me if you and I were using protection!"

Ginny giggled. "Protection? Harry, are you afraid to say condom? That is what it's called."

"I'm just telling you what he said," Harry told her, turning a little red. "And... I didn't know wizards had condoms."

"It's a spell... not like those balloon things the Muggles use, but mostly the same concept. Mum told me and Hermione ages ago when she thought that Ron and her might be... you know. They weren't, or Hermione would have told me."

"Yeah, well it's not really any of his business if you and I are doing things is it? He's so weird sometimes. It's like, sometimes he's just old Snape, who's just my professor who ignores me, and then other times out of nowhere he just has these urges to know all about my personal life and inject himself into it where he thinks I ought to have help."

"Isn't that what parent's do?"

"Is it?" Harry felt a little naïve in this area, really having no experience with parents or with being a loved child, aside from what he'd had with the Weasley's. That brought on a new thought... did Snape love him? Did Harry love Snape? Harry had really only known two kinds of love... the love he had for Ginny, which was deep and unending, and which he felt could conquer all, and the brotherly type love he felt for Ron and Hermione, which sometimes faltered and somehow seemed to shine through in the end, despite arguments and broken noses.

"So thoughtful?"

Harry came back to reality. "Just wondering..." he trailed off.

"Hm?"

"Just wondering if Snape... if my dad... you know."

"I don't speak teenage boy fluently Harry, you have to speak English for me."

He rolled his eyes and then let out a short laugh, knowing he wasn't being all that coherent. "I just wondered if he loved me is all."

"Oh."

"How do you know? How do you know your parents love you?"

"I don't know," she said. "I just know they always have. They do things for me they wouldn't have to if they weren't my parents, and they watch out for me and stand up for me. They're always there when I need them to be, and they always try to understand what I'm going through."

"And..." he fidgeted for a second with his fingers, "how do you know you love them?"

She gave him an appraising look, realizing yet again that he was still searching to find himself somewhere in all this mess. It was a realization she had made a few times and sometimes forgot that Harry had not always grown up with what she had often taken for granted.

At her thoughtfulness, Harry said, "I love you, I know what that feels like, but I don't feel that for him. And I love Ron and Hermione... and maybe even Draco like siblings, but I don't feel that for him. I don't know how to feel like I'm supposed to towards a parent. Sometimes he's a pain in my side, and other times we have these perfect moments that don't feel all awkward and needlessly annoying."

"Maybe start looking in those perfect moments. I guess I feel gratitude for my parents when I realize how they're there for me. And I know I could do worse for parents. I'm sorry if I'm not being much help... it's something I don't really think about."

Harry gave her a warm smile anyhow. "You're lots of help Ginny. More than you know."

* * *

Severus watched with angst every time Harry looped and dove, speeding recklessly around the Quidditch pitch after the tiny golden ball, weaving in and out of hard black balls and other players. Was this how he was supposed to feel? All tied up in knots every time his son got hit with a Bludger or nearly died leaping off his broom after the Snitch, grabbing onto the handle of a teammates broom at the last second to keep himself from plummeting to certain death? If it was, he didn't think he liked it very much, or at all.

"What's with him?" Minerva whispered to Albus, as a cheer rose up from the Slytherins and all Severus did was gasp as Harry was knocked in the stomach with a Bludger.

The man turned his eyes towards his Potion's Master and let a smile cross his face.

"I believe he is worried over his son."

Minerva gave her superior a calculating look. "Have you been feeling well Albus? I thought I heard you say he was worried over his son."

He smiled kindly at her. "Quite well, thank you for your concern Minerva. I was referring to your star Seeker. And no," he held up a hand to her as she went to protest, "I do not need to see Madam Pomfrey."

"Then what on earth are you on about?"

He motioned for her to watch what Snape in relation to Harry looping about. Harry nearly had a head on collision with Ronald Weasley as the orange haired boy swooped out of nowhere to stop the incoming Quaffle. Severus rose partway from his seat and noticeable stiffened at the near miss.

"I don't understand Albus. Just a few months ago he was dragging the boy into my office, telling me he was going to insist he be expelled. Now he's... concerned?"

Albus was just about to say something when Severus leapt off his seat as the crowd gasped and pointed. Harry had been knocked off his broom by a Bludger to the head, and was falling, falling. He lay motionless on the ground.

Before Minerva could register what had happened, Severus had bolted from the staff seats high above the turf, and was hurtling down the stairs and out of sight.

Albus raced off too, and a minute later Minerva saw he and Severus running across the field, Severus falling to his knees and lifting Harry's head up as he lay on his back, eyes closed.

Still confused and feeling fuzzy on the details, she watched as Albus did something with his wand, and when Harry didn't wake Severus picked the lifeless Gryffindor up and ran off towards the castle with the Headmaster. Was he dead? Why hadn't Severus levitated him to the castle? Was he truly as Albus had said? No, she told herself, almost chuckling amidst her worry for Harry... it just wasn't possible... was it?

* * *

"Is he dead?"

"Is he ok?"

"Is he breathing?"

"Tell us something!"

Draco and Ron's shouts were demanding to be answered as they flew to the castle and landed beside Dumbledore and Snape as they rushed inside.

"He is not breathing," Dumbledore shouted back, waving for them to stay put and not to follow.

Ron and Draco shared a look that spoke volumes to the other about how much they both cared. It scared Draco, because he had never had anything in common with somebody like Weasley, and because he had never before cared so much about anybody's well being but his own.

"Madam Pomfrey will revive him," Draco said, trying to feel certain but not quite managing. Ron thought the Slytherin's voice sounded a little desperate, and was caught off guard.

"You think?"

Draco nodded. "She's Madam Pomfrey... she can do anything."

* * *

Severus paced back and forth, ignoring the stares from Minerva as she sat on a chair in the darkened hospital wing a short distance from his son's bed. How could he have let this happen? He should have insisted that the boy give up Quidditch immediately after finding out that he was his own. He never understood in the first place how any parent in their right mind would let their child play such a dangerous game. True, no student at Hogwarts had died from it in 200 years, but he could have gotten a serious injury... brain damage even.

Madam Pomfrey's assurances that he would be fine did not help to sooth Severus, even though Severus knew what the potions he had brewed earlier in the year were meant to do. Madam Pomfrey kept them on hand just for accidents like this, and insisted that at least one student a year was brought in not breathing, and that this wasn't Harry's first time in this situation. After they'd found him with the Sorcerer's stone in his pocket, he was blue and cold, and even then Severus had thought him surely dead, his promise to Lily failed.

"Will you wear a hole in the floor over one of my students?" Minerva's voice drifted over from the corner where he had nearly forgotten she was sitting.

He shot her a look at her curious tone and ran his hands through his hair. "It's my business... let it be."

"I noticed how anxious you were in the stands over him... and then Albus said something strange."

Severus tilted his head back and rolled his eyes, thoughts all dripping with sarcasm too much to let loose.

"Yes, of course, it figures he would tell someone..."

"You can't possibly expect me to believe this... joke? Lily and James are-"

"Not his parents Minerva. Lily and I are."

"But he looks so much like-"

"Me," Severus finished for her again. "He looks like me, with his black hair and the shape of his eyes, and if my nose hadn't been broken three times by James and Sirius in our school days I expect our noses would look alike too."

She was quiet as she considered what he had said, taking in for the first time the similarities between them.

"But how? She married James. And then they had Harry."

"Don't be daft woman. Lily and I dated through school. She was the only Gryffindor I could stand. We were engaged the day after we graduated. We bought a house and lived together for two years before she ran off and married James. But not before telling her sister that Harry was mine."

He paused in thought. "That woman... she always did get on my nerves. And then she went and blurted out Lily's secret to Harry before he came back here."

"That's why he was in so much trouble? Because he found out and you didn't want him to?"

Severus rolled his eyes again. "Really? You think I'm that heartless to let my child live with the likes of those Muggles? If I had known he was mine I would have taken him away from that place... those people. I didn't find out until a little while after the start of the new term when Harry broke down in my office and showed me through Legillimency skills that nobody knew he had."

"He's a Legillimens?" This revelation took her back some. "Then surely you are his father? This is not some fabrication by Albus to get back at me for the prank this summer?"

"If it were a fabrication I would not nearly have died of heart failure this afternoon."

"Well I'll be." She put her hands on her hips. "I thought something was strange when Harry said he was going home with his family for Christmas. And he was so excited when he put his name on that list last minute..."

Severus looked up. Harry had been excited to spend time with him? He hadn't shown it when he turned up to Snape's office looking sulky. The revelation was enough to finalize his decision... a son who wanted to spend time with him... his son who had almost died. He had to protect him better, no matter what Harry thought of him after that.

No, Harry wouldn't take this well at all, but if he was sensible then he would get over it. It was this mindset that Severus had set himself into as Harry walked through his office door and plopped down into a visitor's chair.

"You said earlier you wanted me to come down. Guess what? Draco says that I'm a direct descendant of Gryffindor! He found my mum's name at a bottom of a list in the Library in some old book... he seemed disgusted but I think it's great!"

"Harry, I wanted to talk to you about something," Severus interjected in a brief pause where Harry seemed to think for a moment.

"Yeah?"

Severus came around to the front of his desk and said, "It is my wish that you no longer play Quidditch."

Harry looked at him for a moment and seemed to be thinking about it, and then he burst out laughing. "You had me going there for a minute. Quit Quidditch! I'm team Captain, I can't just quit even if I wanted to, which I don't," he added in for clarification at his father's serious look.

"This is not a joking matter. After what happened to you during the last game I feel it an unnecessary risk. It is foolish to play with your life in such a way."

Harry didn't feel like laughing anymore. He looked straight into his fathers eyes and said, "I'm not quitting. It's not foolish and it's not that big of a risk. I'm good at it and I haven't been too seriously hurt yet."

"Yet being the key word. You weren't breathing when we got to you and you had a broken leg, two broken ribs, and a broken wrist. You could have broken your neck or back, things that are not easily fixable and which often lead to death."

"Yeah, well it's not going to happen." Harry said it as fact. "I've a worse chance of getting kidnapped by Voldemort himself than dying of Quidditch. My team is counting on me. Or do you not want me to play anymore because we've only got one more game against Slytherin for the championship in the spring?" Harry didn't want to believe that he was more loyal to the Slytherins than to his own son, but the thought had crossed his mind.

"That is not the reason. I do not wish to see you hurt or dead. You will quit Quidditch. I have already talked to Minerva about it."

"Oh, and she just agreed did she? I am 17 you know. You're not even my legal guardian!" Harry was suddenly angry and almost shouting. Why was he trying to just but into his life again and tell him what to do?

"She said that you yourself must resign because you are 17." Why couldn't the stubborn boy just see that it was for his own good that he wanted this? Did he have no consideration at all for his father's feelings?

"Yeah, well like I said, it's not going to happen. You can't just come into my life after all these years and try to protect me! I'm an adult now and you can't force me to do anything!" Even as he said it he felt as a child, insisting that he was old enough to have things his own way. He almost felt like stomping his foot in frustration but resisted the urge to do so.

"Harry," Severus tried to soften his voice, to not let the agitation seep through, but it was anyway. "You can either quit Quidditch, or..." he trailed away, unsure if he wanted to tread into this territory and risk what little relationship they had.

"Or what? Going to stop being my father?"

When Severus didn't answer, Harry's suspicions were confirmed, and he was terrified for a moment before anger overtook him and he stood up.

"I hate you!" He shouted it, pointing his finger angrily at the man who seemed intent on making his life a living hell. "And if you don't want to be my father then you can just get the hell out of my life and stay there!" He turned and stormed off, slamming the door to the Potion Master's office hard.

Severus stood there mutely, angry and sad and relieved all at once. The fact that he felt relieved of some burden sickened him and he sat down in the chair that Harry had just occupied. What was wrong with him? He had reveled in the fact that he had a son earlier, and now he was relieved? Confused in his feelings, and wanting Harry to come back and talk about it some more, he ran a hand through his hair and laid his head back against the chair. He supposed he'd have a long time to think about it before Harry ever spoke to him again, if he did at all.

* * *

Harry punched a wall in the boy's dormitory and then punched it again and again until Ron walked in a moment later and stared at him.

"What is it?"

Hand aching Harry gave the wall a good kick and then fell back onto his bed.

"I hate him," Harry said. "He told me I had to quit Quidditch."

Ron gave a short laugh and said, "We'll you're not going to, are you?"

Harry didn't say anything and Ron came over to where he lay on top of the maroon covers. "Harry? You're not are you?"

"He said he wouldn't be my father if I didn't."

"What? That's ridiculous!"

Nodding, hand over his eyes Harry said, "Yeah, that's my life. Ridiculous. I finally get a... parent. Somebody who cares for me, and it turns out they don't care at all. Your mum and dad would never tell you they'd stop being your parents if they were angry, would they?"

Ron thought on it. "They came close with Percy when he told them that they were disgusting hanging around Muggleborns, but they never did say it. I don't think they would. If Percy came back I'm pretty sure they would want him to come home."

Harry sighed. This wasn't making him feel any better to know that his father wasn't like other parents... that he didn't want Harry bad enough to just give in and let him play Quidditch.

"He doesn't mean that much to you to quit playing, does he?"

There was silence for a short while before Harry said, "I guess I don't even want him to be my dad if he doesn't care all that much about me. Story of my life... nobody cares." Harry rolled over onto his side and after nothing more was forthcoming, Ron stood up and left. Harry spent the weekend in bed and wouldn't even get up for Ginny.

* * *

Monday morning Ginny and Hermione dragged Harry out of bed and insisted that he eat something and go to class. He didn't eat but he did go to Charms, deciding that he would skip Potions. He didn't think he could stand to go back to calling Snape ‘professor' without thinking about him secretly as ‘dad' in his head, and he didn't want to think of somebody who didn't care about him as dad.

"Just bring the homework to me after," Harry insisted when Hermione tried to drag him down the hall towards the dungeons by his hand and he resisted.

"No, NEWTS are coming and we start NEWT preparation today! You're going to miss it!"

"Just bring me the notes."

"Skipping?" Draco walked up on the scene as Harry hunkered down, holding onto a stair railing so that Hermione could drag him no further.

"Tell him he has to go Draco," Hermione half ordered him.

Draco frowned. "What happened now? It's not like he's told you to quit Quidditch or something..." Harry shot him a look and he finished with, "oh."

"I'll take it from here," Draco said as Hermione gave one last tug and failed. She stood up straight, huffed, and walked off, muttering about boys and games and homework.

"Did he really?"

Harry stood up straight and nodded. "Said he wouldn't be my dad if I didn't."

"He actually said that? Out loud?"

Harry thought on it. "In not so many words, but yes."

"I didn't think he was like that," Draco said. "I always thought he was different than my dad. I used to lay in my room after my dad got me or something and wish uncle Sev. Was my dad instead. Guess that wouldn't have mattered huh."

"At least your dad never told you he'd disown you," Harry pointed out as he leaned against the wall and let his head fall back to it.

"You don't think so huh? When I refused to spy on you for him in fourth year he told me he'd chuck me out on the street if I didn't. And last year when I hinted that I didn't want to join with... him, and his friends, he nearly killed me. You don't even want to know about this last summer."

"He really did those things?"

Draco shrugged. "I'd rather not think about it, and truth be known, I'd still rather have your dad than mine..." he held up two hands and pretended like he was weighing something. "No Quidditch, or join the Dark Lord... seems he's the better of the two choices of dad to me."

"Yeah, well you take him then because I can't handle knowing he doesn't really want me. If I go crawling back there he'll do it again and again whenever he wants his way, and I'll know every time that he doesn't really care at all."

Sighing Draco said, "I guess I'll bring your work to you then... don't imagine you want to be down there."

"I just can't be. Hermione doesn't understand."

"Nope. Girls never do." He gave Harry a last look and headed off to Potion's.

* * *

It agitated him somewhat that Harry was being so stubborn. He'd skipped three days of Potions now and his homework had turned up half done each time in the hands of Draco or Hermione. The boy who lived to irritate was trying to get his own way by trying to work his way back to being a thorn in his side.

Severus sat grading in his office with one hand holding his head up, steaming over Harry and finding himself unable to concentrate on his work. It didn't help that he was grading Harry's paper and it had just stopped abruptly in the middle of a sentence as the last two papers had. Was it so impossible to see how much Severus cared for him? Was it such an impossible request to stop playing a dangerous game with his life? The thought that Harry would be sensible about all of this had long since vanished, and Severus grew even more angry remembering that his son was so spoiled that he always just expected to get his way.

There was a knock at his office door and he told whoever was on the other side to enter, hoping it was Harry. It wasn't.

Severus looked up and was surprised to find Ronald Weasley standing at his office door. What was he doing there? He had stopped taking Potions after he had passed his Owls in fifth year.

"Don't just stand there Weasley, come in and sit down."

"I don't intend to stay," Ron told him flatly. He stepped inside and shut the door for privacy, and then he turned and stared the Potion's Master down.

"You can throw me out or give me as many detentions as you want for what I'm about to say, but you'd better listen good because I'm tired of you hurting my friend. Harry deserves better than you, but you're all he's got."

Severus stared at him and tried not to jump up and wallop the red head in front of him for telling him what to do. Before he could think more on it, Ron continued.

"I don't think you're a good influence on him, and I think that he's got rotten luck being stuck with a lousy father, but Harry's tried to convince me that's not true over and over. Just when I think that he might be right, you go and prove him wrong. What kind of father tells his son he's got a choice between something he loves, and losing his father? Not a father at all. Harry's been laying around in bed depressed, skipping classes, and hardly talking to anybody, hardly eating anything because of you.

"Don't you know what he's gone through? Every adult he ever loved died or abandoned him or just didn't care at all about him! And he went and agonized over finding out he was your son and then you went and got all his hopes up that he might be a regular kid with a dad and then you smashed them into the floor. It's like you just abandoned him just like everybody else, or just went and told him you didn't care a whit about him."

"Weasley, stop making a fool out of yourself. You don't know what you speak of. I asked him to quit Quidditch for his own safety."

"You asked him to quit for your own comfort!" Ron shouted it now and then calmed himself, fists clenching at his sides as he stood there. "It doesn't matter what you asked him to do, it matters that you gave him the choice of obeying you or losing you, and that told him and everybody else who knows just how much you really care about him... not at all."

Ron turned to leave but then turned back again and said in a low voice, "You just stay away from my friend if you're going to pound nails through his heart like that. He's had enough of that from other adults." And then he was gone, leaving Snape's office door open like the hole that had just been torn in Snape's heart. Had Harry really taken it that way? He hadn't intended for it to be that way. It was just that he couldn't stand knowing that his son might be hurt or dead... that would leave him emptier than when Lily had died.

"Severus! What's going on here?"

Harry shot his father the dirtiest look he could muster as he struggled against the grip he had on his arm and the back of his shirt collar.

"Family business Minerva," he tried to say with a calm voice, amazed at the strength his son had as he then nearly tipped the two of them over pulling against his grasp.

"Well stop it this instant!"

Harry tried to rip himself free one last time before he gave up and stopped struggling. Severus did not let go, just in case Harry had intended to trick him and run.

"Severus, this is no way to-"

"Minerva," he said, now a little agitated at her butting in. "This is not your affair. Rest assured no harm will come to him, and please leave it be."

"Hmpf." She crossed her arms and stormed off in the other direction, no doubt to see the Headmaster, Severus thought.

"Get off," Harry demanded once she was out of sight, trying to shrug his grip off of him.

"Only if you promise not to run." Severus had approached Harry several times over the past week trying to talk to him and Harry had taken off each time, ignoring him completely. When he had done it this night, Severus was quicker than he was and grabbed hold of his shirtsleeve, thus instigating their struggle all the way down towards the dungeons.

"No. I told you to stay away from me!"

"Unfortunately I am the parent, and children do not tell their parents what to do. Now please," here he forced the irritation in his voice away, "come quietly or the both of us will struggle the rest of the way to the dungeons."

Harry glared and crossed his arms, his father finally relinquishing his grip on Harry's arm and shirt. "Fine," Harry said crossly. Severus lead off and glanced back every once in a while to be sure that his angry son still followed.

Finally in the dungeons, Severus and Harry entered his office, and Harry refused to sit, not intending to stay.

"I merely wished to speak with you," Severus said calmly, also not sitting down. "I did not intend-"

"I don't want to hear it." Harry said flatly.

"No? Well you're going to anyway. I did not intend-"

Harry turned on him. "Stop talking!" he shouted. He couldn't handle an apology... or whatever his father was going to say. It had taken weeks for him to feel even a little less depressed, and he didn't want to get dragged back in to feeling anything nice for his father, because he couldn't take being hurt again by him like that.

Patience wearing thin Severus glared and said, "Fine. You don't wish to talk? Spring holiday starts Monday and you can just sit in here until you wish to talk without missing any classes."

"Yeah right," Harry said. "Are you grounding me?"

Severus felt the uncertainty coming off of Harry.

"Yes," he said, "if that's what you want to think of it as. Until you hear me out, you are grounded to my office." He didn't know why but he felt some satisfaction in grounding him for having made him struggle just to get him down there to talk. He was so stubborn!

"Great, just like before then... detention in the dungeons. Well let me just barf all over your office again while I'm at it, seeing as how there's no toilet."

Severus waved his wand and a door appeared, just as it had done in their house. He had had it installed (as most professors had) so that they could use the bathroom without having to leave students unattended for long periods of time in their office around their valuables.

"Great," Harry muttered, "and how do you intend to keep me here? Lock me in?"

Severus waved his wand again and stepped out of his office door, now open. "I can come and go, but you cannot. You are making things harder on yourself and everybody else."

"Yeah, well maybe you're the one making things hard on everybody, ever think of that?" Harry sounded defeated, standing there in front of the doorway, wondering if the threat that he couldn't leave was a bluff, but afraid to test it.

"I've thought on a lot of things," Severus said, and then he disappeared down the hallway. Harry tried to follow, forgetting that he couldn't leave, and was stopped by an invisible barrier.

Angry he punched the wall and felt his stomach churn. He had felt the ulcer coming back for the last week now... so much agonizing over what had happened and over the fact that his father didn't want him anymore... or maybe never had. But he hadn't wanted to ask for more potion, and he wouldn't now either. He wouldn't take anything from that man ever again.

* * *

Draco had faithfully delivered a message to Ginny that Harry was stuck in Snape's office, and she appeared the next day with a change of clothes for Harry and Ron's chess set. Harry was so happy to see her that he forgot about the invisible barrier and was knocked backwards by it when he tried to move out.

"Draco wasn't sure if the barrier would allow items through or not, so I thought we'd test it."

Harry nodded, eager for a change of clothes. First Ginny tried to step through herself and found herself unable. Then she successfully tossed Harry's clothes through. Without shutting the door he changed right there, surprising her a little bit.

"Don't you want some privacy?"

"I don't need it in front of you. I intend to marry you after you graduate, so why do I need privacy now?" They had been talking about marriage since after Christmas and had finally decided that they couldn't live without each other and had set the date as the day after she would graduate.

"Well, I understand that, but anybody could walk by..."

Harry grinned. "You're my lookout."

Rolling her eyes she sat down on the floor in the hallway and started setting up the chess set. Since all you had to do was tell the pieces where to move, there was no issue with Harry not being able to reach through to play.

"Maybe I'll fetch some cards later and you can toss the ones you don't need through the barrier."

"Or maybe you could ask Hermione to come down and get rid of this spell."

Ginny raised her eyebrows, knowing that Snape had now stealthily walked up beside her where Harry couldn't see.

"Or maybe you could just talk to your father," Snape said as he continued walking past, down the corridor towards his quarters.

Harry made a face. "Not likely. He'll have to let me out when the term starts or McGonagall will throw another fit."

"Dumbledore already told her that it was Professor Snape's prerogative to discipline you as he pleased provided there was no pain or injury involved. I heard them talking in her office."

"Great."

Ginny's voice softened, "Besides, I was going to stay for spring holiday. We could have a whole week... to ourselves." She had hesitated before the end, and Harry had looked up, wondering what she had in mind. An empty castle was what he had thought when she'd said it... an empty castle with nobody to care where they went or what they did.

"Don't tempt me," Harry said. "You know why I won't talk to him."

"You're making this important to yourself by not talking to him. Don't give him the satisfaction of being more important than your fiancé if that's what you're aiming not to do."

Harry thought on it for a while, and then saw the way Ginny looked so beautiful out there in the hall, trying to stay by him and lend him comfort by being there when she didn't have to be. He'd give it a few days and see if Snape would cave in, and then he'd free himself to be with Ginny.

* * *

Draco had gone home with Goyle Sunday night along with most of the other students, including Ron and Hermione, eager to get out of the castle. Ginny stayed however and sat on the floor all day Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, sad that they were spending their free time together like this.

"I'm sorry," Harry said Wednesday afternoon. "We could be out enjoying the sun."

"Why don't you just talk to him?"

Harry sighed. "I can't bring myself to do it. I can't let myself feel anything... good for him again. I can't take it if he just tears me up inside again. This is two ulcers from him now... two. I've never had any before this. I can't stand knowing that... you know."

Ginny's eyes softened as she sat there across from him, agonizing herself over how bad she knew he felt. "He does love you..."

"He doesn't. He told me he wouldn't be my father any more."

"He does Harry. Look how he's got you all locked up in here so that you'll listen to him tell you that."

"You haven't talked to him have you?"

"No Harry, I haven't. But I've seen him sulking just like you. And I think he cares about you more than you know. Only a concerned parent would give up his office to a scheme like this, trying to get you to just listen for five minutes to what he has to say."

"Or a crazy potions professor who's been around one too many spilled potions!"

She gave him that soft look again and he felt himself caving. "Fine, go get him. But I'm only doing this so we can have a few days together."

With a last warm smile from Ginny she packed up the chess set and disappeared from sight.

* * *

Severus had allowed Ginny to sit on the floor talking to his son while he was "grounded" because he didn't want to talk to a hostile teenager when the boy finally caved. Allowing him things he wanted was his way of telling Harry, ‘see, I bend, now you bend too.'

It had taken all Severus had to wait patiently and not just march into his office and put a silence charm on Harry and then speak to him as he pleased without any resistance, but Albus had told him that it probably wasn't a wise idea if he intended to regain any kind of relationship with Harry.

A gentle knock on the door to his quarters bade him to rise and see who found it necessary to disturb him like this. But when he saw Ginny on the other side, he let his irritation drop and stared down at her.

"He's ready to talk," she told him. "He doesn't want to but he wants to be free of the office."

"To be with you?"

She nodded. He hadn't thought of this being a benefit to him allowing her to stay there with him.

"Thank you." He stepped out and closed the door, and left her there by herself.

Harry was in the bathroom when he entered the office, and for a moment he thought that maybe the boy had escaped after all, until he heard the toilet flush and the water in the sink running. Trying to calm himself, he sat down behind his desk and waited as Harry came out, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

When he sat down in the visitors chair Severus took in his pale face. "You have given yourself an ulcer again?" he asked.

Harry looked away, and Severus rose to unlock his potion's cabinet and pull out one of the last phials of ulcer-b-gone. Silently he handed it to Harry, who took it and swallowed it gratefully, relaxing after he did so as the burn in his stomach dissipated.

Back in his chair again, Severus said, "I did not intend to hurt you." Harry didn't look up at him.

"Your friend... Mr. Weasley, came in here and gave me a piece of his mind, and along with it a piece of yours." Here Harry frowned, but did not look up. "I did not realize that I had hurt you so by the ultimatum that I gave you. I sometimes forget that every adult in your life has abandoned you or treated you harshly, and I did not intend to be one of those figures in your life.

"I asked you to quit Quidditch because when I saw you lying there on the grass, not breathing, I thought I had lost you. I could not stand the thought of being without you again. I went through hell on earth losing your mother, twice, and it left a void in me that I did not think could be filled. When you shared with me the revelation that you were my son, that void filled itself up and then some, and to see you lying there as if dead, I felt a sudden emptiness that I could not handle. I was not trying to take something from you that you love... as your friend pointed out, I was trying to keep myself from losing something that I love."

Harry looked up. "Ron said that?"

"In harsher terms, yes."

He bit his lip. He didn't think that Ron understood him that well. As far as he knew, only Draco and Ginny understood any semblance of what his life had been. And now here he found himself surprised twice in one day. He desperately wanted his father back, but he couldn't take being hurt yet again by him. It seemed as if his whole year had revolved around some kind of hurt his father had inflicted: ulcers, depression, anger, a bruised jaw...

"If you will have me, I will try my hardest to be a father that does not injure his son."

And now it was like he was reading his mind. Harry remembered that Draco had told him that Snape had lived a life similar to Harry's when he was in school, and suddenly his statement meant more than he could know.

"Can we just... take it slow?"

Severus nodded. "Whatever you want Harry."

Harry bit his lip again. "I just want a dad."

* * *

A weight Harry hadn't known he'd been carrying had lifted from his shoulders as Harry left his father's office and went looking for Ginny. She was waiting in the Entrance Hall for him, sitting on the steps leading up to the second floor.

Without a word she rose and Harry wrapped her in his arms, never wanting to let go.

"Well?"

"He promised to not leave me like all the others... and he told me how Ron went in there and yelled at him."

"Ron did what?"

Harry laughed and took her hand as they headed out onto the grounds, telling him about his conversation with his father, and asking her to remind him to thank Ron when he got back on Sunday.

* * *

Harry and Ginny spent their days together, and feeling uncomfortable being alone all of a sudden, Harry asked her to stay with him in the nights too. Gryffindor tower was empty except for the two of them and so nobody noticed when Ginny climbed into bed with Harry each night.

"Tonight's our last night alone together," Harry said as he held Ginny close, her pink flower pajamas soft against his hands.

"Maybe we could spend the summer together too? Although mum and dad have put a charm on my room so no boys can enter at all... they put one on Ron's room too so that Hermione can't go in there... they did it last summer."

"Just like the charm on the office door?"

"Guess so."

"Well maybe you can stay with me at our house... I think my dad has to do work at the castle for a while during the summer."

"He wouldn't mind? I don't think mum and dad will let me."

"You turn 17 this summer though... so they can't stop you can they?"

"They can if I want to go back home when I'm done staying with you."

"Oh." Harry forgot how Mrs. Weasley could be sometimes.

"Dad always says: ‘if you want to live under our roof, you follow our rules.' That's why Fred and George moved out last summer and got their own place."

"Maybe we should get our own place."

Ginny rolled over to look at him. "Where? I don't have any money."

"I have a vault full at Gringotts. Maybe we can get a flat in London somewhere... I always wanted to try living in the city. Or build something out in the woods like my dad's house."

"Something with a stream for any kids we might have," Ginny added, fantasizing now about their future home.

"And a big field for them to run in."

"Better have room for a Quidditch pitch too."

"Only enough room for me to chase you around on a broom."

They both laughed and then their eyes met and Harry felt himself melting inside.

"I love you," he told her.

"Love you more."

He squeezed her tight, and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"Mrs. Ginny Potter," he said.

"I like that," she whispered.

"What's that for?"

"For making life better for Harry."

Ron shrugged. "That's what best friends do... and brothers." He rolled his eyes when she pointed to herself to remind him that it had helped her also.

"Well thanks for being my brother then."

"Ok ok, no more mushy stuff from my sister. I can't handle it."

She stuck her tongue out at him then, which he returned with a grin and then she disappeared up the stairs to find Harry, leaving Ron and Hermione alone to hold hands while they studied.

* * *

In the weeks after Harry's confinement in Snape's office, they built up a slow camaraderie once more, and Harry made sure to visit his father at least three times a week after dinner, sometimes taking his NEWT study guides down to his father for some help that Hermione couldn't provide because she was too busy helping Ron.

Harry found that he enjoyed their time together even more now that he was sure he wasn't going to be dumped on the side of the road at the next big bump. To be honest with himself, that was what he had been expecting in the first place, as Ginny had pointed out earlier. It had happened so many times before that he had expected it to happen again. But there was no sign of that now and Severus too seemed just a little bit happier, even if McGonagall sometimes scowled at him in the staff lounge over what he had done locking Harry up.

Harry was so busy building up a relationship with his father that he almost didn't notice that Ginny was slowly pulling away from him. Hermione kept shooting him glances too, and one day he decided that he couldn't take any more of it.

"What's that look you keep giving me for?" he whispered to her in Charms class while Flitwick was dealing with a fire Neville had set.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

"You keep shooting me worried glances. And I haven't been acting weird or anything lately so I don't know why."

"Maybe you should talk to Ginny first. She's... going through a rough spot right now."

"What?" He was startled that he hadn't been the first to hear of this... he and Ginny told each other everything.

"Just, talk to her Harry. She needs you to but doesn't know how to ask for help."

Hermione jumped back as Harry stood straight up and hurried off with his book bag, not noticing the surprised looks the others were giving him. Ginny had Potions right now and he wondered how much trouble he was getting himself into pulling her out in the middle of it.

Severus looked up, surprised and suddenly worried when Harry appeared in his doorway in the middle of class. He had told Harry to come to him if he felt Voldemort in his head, even if it meant interrupting him, but no, he didn't look worried.

"Yes Mr. Potter?" he asked, trying to sound annoyed just enough to convince the rest of the class.

"A Professor needs to see Ginny Weasley."

Ginny looked up, wondering what this was about. She looked a little pale he noticed.

"Which Professor Mr. Potter? So I may check later and know that you haven't lied."

Annoyed that his father had to act this way to convince the rest of the onlookers there, Harry sighed silently to himself and said, "Professor McGonagall asked me to come get her sir. Something about an essay she turned in."

Severus waved his hand as he turned back to writing instructions on the chalkboard. "Be gone then. I expect a note when you come back Ms. Weasley."

Ginny gathered her things and hurried out of the room. In the hallway Harry took her hand and lead her down a few halls and then into his father's office, which he now knew the password to.

"I thought we were going to see McGonagall."

Harry shut the door and lead her to sit down in one of the visitors chairs as he had done. "Hermione said I should come talk to you. She said you needed... help, and didn't know how to ask? What's wrong, I'm worried now."

Ginny immediately bit her lip and looked away, as if ashamed.

"Come on, you can tell me. I'm not going to be angry or whatever you think I'll do. It'll be ok."

She looked up into his eyes and then dove into his arms and started to cry. "Oh Harry, I don't know what to do. Mum and dad will kill us both."

"What? What do you mean?" He was startled and unsettled by how upset she was all of a sudden.

She mumbled something into his shoulder, and when he asked her to repeat it, she said, "I'm pregnant Harry." She pulled back just a little to gauge his reaction, but all she saw was his eyes searching hers.

"Pregnant?" It was almost a whisper.

She nodded. "We must not have done the spell right... I don't know, it just didn't work."

"Are you sure?"

"Hermione made the potion for me and when I drank it, it turned blue."

"What does that mean?"

"It means it's a boy. Pink means a girl, and gray means no baby at all."

Harry leaned back against the chair and felt his heart thudding loudly in his chest.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm floored," Harry said honestly. "We only did it the one time Ginny!" Then he ran a hand through his hair and said, "You're right. Your mum and dad are going to kill one of us, and it's not you. And Ron... I don't even want to think of that. Remember how he locked Collin Creevy in the bathroom two years ago for asking you out?"

She nodded. "He'll be the worst... or maybe Fred and George... Bill, Charlie..."

Harry shook his head. "You have too many brothers... they're going to kill me in my sleep."

"I don't know what to do Harry," her voice was wavering again, and Harry remembered suddenly that this was even harder for her than it was going to be for him. He pulled her close to him again and wrapped her in his arms, running a hand over her long ginger hair.

"It's going to be ok, you'll see. We were going to get married anyway, and you're going to be 17 soon. That is if you'll still have me."

She nodded. "I wouldn't have anyone else Harry."

Footsteps in the hall told them that class had gotten out, and Harry lead her out of his father's office.

"You don't worry about a thing Ginny," he told her. "Just concentrate on classes. I'll take care of everything."

"How?"

"I have to talk to my dad... he'll know how to help. Remember that fifth year Slytherin that disappeared before Christmas break? I think he got a girl pregnant and left to take care of her."

"How do you know?"

"Draco said there was a rumor. Just don't worry. We'll figure it out."

She nodded and he gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead as they split up to head to their separate classes.

* * *

Severus Snape sat in his office, noting that the visitors chairs were placed differently than when he had left his office early that morning. He was sure that Harry had not taken Ginny from his class to take her to Minerva, and it was obvious now that he had taken her to his office. He had let Harry take her because he knew it must have been important, but he had to know for sure. He couldn't let things like that slide and didn't want Harry to think that because he had gotten away with it once that he could do it whenever he pleased.

He had sent an owl to his young Gryffindor asking him to come down, but right after he had sent it he found Harry at his door. Apparently they had been thinking the same thing.

"You skipped dinner tonight. The ulcer is not back yet again, is it?"

Harry walked in and plopped down in the visitor's chair he preferred, and shook his head, hands immediately covering his face.

"Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are going to kill me," he said through his fingers.

Severus' heart quickened, knowing few reasons why the family of a boy's girlfriend would want to harm him. "And why would said Weasley's want to kill you?"

Harry ran his hands through his hair, finally freeing his face for his father to see. "I take it back," Harry said in a miserable tone, "You're going to kill me."

"You did not answer my question."

"Ginny's pregnant." There, he had said it, and now he couldn't take it back. Well, he couldn't take any of it back anyhow, because sooner or later people would find out.

"I hope you're joking," Severus said in a low tone Harry didn't want to hear.

"She told me today. That's why I pulled her out of class... Hermione said she needed to tell me something."

"Did I not tell you to use protection!"

"We were going to get married after she graduated anyway!"

"Then why could you not wait?" Harry could tell that his father was both agitated and angry now.

"We only did it the once!"

"I doubt very much that Arthur and Molly Weasley will believe that, and that they will take it as an excuse as you seem to think I will."

"We used protection, but we must not have done the charm right..."

Severus sighed. "It does not always work, especially in unskilled hands."

Harry put his hands over his face again, trying to block out the world around him, and breathed deep, pulling his hands up to run through his hair once again. From the state of his hair, Severus could tell that Harry had been doing this all day already.

"I am the first adult you have told?"

"You're the only one I've told," Harry said. "And Hermione is the only other person that Ginny has told."

"This will be very difficult for her Harry. More so than you think it will be for you. You will graduate soon and she will have to go through her seventh year pregnant, for everyone to stare at. While I believe that your intentions for her are for the best, you will not be able to stay with her for another year."

"I already thought about it. I'm getting a job and a flat in Hogsmeade so that I can be close by. She can stay with me over the summer, and then I can try to get Dumbledore to let me come visit her every day after classes."

"She is not yet 17. You may find that her parents are not willing to let her leave their home."

"Even considering her condition?"

"Especially considering her condition. Do you think it wise to take her away from her mother in the time she needs her most?"

Harry hadn't thought of that.

"Then I'll get a place near the Burrow and then another place in Hogsmeade later on."

Severus sighed heavily, acknowledging to himself that thus far he had been a lousy father, and with what had happened now everybody would know it. This was definitely going to reflect badly on him.

"Are you mad?"

"I am disappointed," Severus said.

"That's nothing new." Harry's quiet admittance to himself drew his father's attention.

"Not in you." He rose and came to the other side of the desk. "In myself. This is the fault of the parent charged with the care and raising of the child."

Harry shook his head. "Yeah, well they're still going to kill me. I'm the one they'll blame."

* * *

Harry found out the next day just how right he was. He had just said goodbye to Ginny in the hall and was on his way to Transfiguration when Ron marched straight up to him and punched him in the nose so hard that he flew backwards and landed on the hard stone floor on his back.

Blood spurting everywhere, Harry looked up into his friend's fiery eyes and knew that somehow, most likely from Hermione he had found out. At the very least he supposed he deserved this for punching him earlier in the year.

"You're rotten to the core!" Ron shouted, finger pointed angrily down to him. "You and your disgusting family! You just stay away from me and mine!"

McGonagall came running down the hall now and saw Harry lying there on the floor, a crowd of onlookers gathering. Draco was there too, looking on in shock and awe that Weasley had such muscles hidden under his robe to knock Harry flat on his back with one punch.

"What on earth is going on here?"

"Harry fell Professor," Draco suddenly said. Harry had told him earlier that morning what had happened, and he silently agreed with him that Ron had the right to punch him in the face.

Harry nodded, and said, "I fell on my face. I was just now trying to get up." He hoped desperately that Ron wouldn't tell the truth... he wanted Ginny to have an easy go of this and she wouldn't if everybody heard that she was pregnant.

"I heard Mr. Weasley shouting," she said, turning to a still livid Ron.

Ron turned away and said in a quiet voice, "He fell Professor. I didn't hear any shouting." Confused that three different students from two separate houses seemed to be in on a lie together, she glared and told everyone to get to class, and then sent Harry up to the hospital wing after she waved a quick coagulation spell over him to stop the bleeding. Ron glared as Harry passed, and then disappeared down the hallway away from class, having no intention of going.

‘What kind of parent lets his son run rampant having sexual relations with innocent younger girls?' Mrs. Weasley's latest attack on his parenting played through his mind. The kind that has only known his son for five months, he thought to himself quietly.

He was very tempted to write a letter back asking what kind of mother didn't know her daughter was having sex, and to ask what kind of mother lets her daughter get pregnant, but resisted upon Dumbledore's urgings to stay calm. He had gone straight to the Headmaster upon Harry's revelation that Ginny was pregnant. This was not something he could handle alone, and wanted counsel on. Not to mention the fact that there was a 16-year-old student with child, who needed attending to. Ms. Weasley had not been happy to be sent to the infirmary for a ‘check up' but Harry had somehow convinced her that it was for the best, and not to be mad at his father. And McGonagall... oh how she was hard to deal with now that his son... now that Harry Potter had gotten a girl pregnant.

"This has never happened with him before! But you're his father for five months and all of the sudden he's done this! What have you been teaching him Severus?"

Severus grit his teeth remembering her words too. This from a woman with no children of her own at all! How was it that nobody saw the good that had been done in Harry's life since he had become his father? But one bad thing happens, and it was all his fault as the parent!

Trying to remain calm and failing, Severus rose and kicked his desk hard enough that it made his foot ache. Truth be told he had no real control over Harry at all now that he was 17, and it was the fault of the two parties involved, not his. Harry seemed more than willing to accept the blame and the responsibility, and still the fingers pointed were at his father.

There was a knock on his office door and Severus stopped pacing long enough to know by the shuffle of anxious feet outside that it was Harry.

"Come in."

Harry opened the door and stood there, hands wringing each other after he closed the door again.

Severus pointed at the newest letter in his collection. "Do you know that they are insisting that you be expelled? They've also told me that you're to have nothing more to do with Ginny and the baby."

"What? They can't do that! She's my wife!"

Severus snorted and shook his head. "Not yet, and don't you dare think that you have any rights to her. She is a 16-year-old girl whose parents are considering pulling out of school and home schooling for her last year."

"Won't Dumbledore let her stay for her last year?"

"Unfortunately it's not up to him." Severus calmed a little and rubbed his temple which had been throbbing for two days.

"She turns 17 in three months... right after school gets out. They can't legally make her do anything at that point. She wants to stay with me over the summer and go to school in the fall."

"Does she? Or is that what you want?"

"I asked her... I told her I would go with whatever she wanted to do, and that if she wanted she could stay with me, and we'd get married as soon as she wanted us to."

"I don't think you realize what you've gotten yourself into Harry. A baby is not something you can just put away when you're tired, or when you're done playing with it. It demands 100 percent of your attention and time. Who will take care of the baby after it's born? Will she drop out of school to do it?"

Harry bit his lip. He hadn't thought of that yet. The baby was due in February... not the end of Ginny's seventh year.

"I'll work in Hogsmead, or wherever I can until he's born, and then I'll stay home and take care of him until Ginny has graduated."

"And what of your plans for Quidditch or to become an auror? Will you put those on hold to take care of the baby? Or will you make her put her career plans on hold?"

Suddenly angry Harry shouted, "Well what do you want me to do!? We're not giving him up for adoption!"

Severus sighed. "I expect you to think about things before you do them. I expect you to look at all the consequences, and at all the responsibilities."

"Yeah, well it's too late for that now." Harry turned and left the office in a hurry, leaving the door open, and Severus rubbed his temple again. He needed coffee. He had been awake for far too long, and lack of caffeine and sleep was likely causing his headache.

He peered at the letter again and then made his way for the door, thinking that even though it was after dinner that the house elves might make him some coffee.

When he neared the Entrance hall, he heard agitated shouting and wondered which students were fighting now. But a look at his watch told him that most students should be in since it was after nine now, and stopped to listen a little closer before he exited the dungeon stairwell.

"How dare you do this! You have ruined her future!"

"It's that father of his. A bad influence to begin with... that's what Ron said over Christmas wasn't it?"

"You had no right! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Severus stepped out into the light now to see Molly and Arthur Weasley, just freshly arrived from the Burrow standing there in the Entrance Hall yelling at Harry, whom they had run into. Harry stood with a hurt look in his eyes staring down at his shoes.

"I believe he is," Severus said calmly from the entrance to the Dungeons.

Molly and Arthur looked up from their tirade and a new scowl replaced the old one.

"This is your fault!" Arthur said, pointing at Severus.

"Really? Because I believed it to be the fault of the two parties involved, not the parents. By your standards I could argue that the blame partially falls on you for not properly educating your daughter, or for allowing her to engage in such risky activities."

"How dare you!?" Molly started towards him but Arthur grabbed her before she could get very far.

"That was out of line Snape." Arthur's tone was low.

"Really? I wouldn't have known seeing as how that is what you and your wife have been implying to me through your letters... that it is somehow my fault that Harry, a son whom I have known for five months, who is a teenage boy barely controlled by any professor in this school, has gotten your daughter pregnant, who is also a teenager, barely controlled by any adult."

Molly scowled and Harry continued to stand still, looking at his shoes.

"Instead of seeing what Harry is willing to do for your daughter, and the love that he has for her to do such things, you stand there and scowl at him, and put him down for being a teenage boy. Did you not know that your own son has engaged in similar risky activities? What if it had been him in Harry's place, and other parents yelling at him?

"You were once his only family, and now you stand there making him feel like a piece of filth, instead of a young man who has made a mistake."

Molly and Arthur looked over at Harry, who was trying not to let his emotions get the better of him as he stood there holding back his tears.

"Do not ever shout at my child, or put him down again, in any way, by mail or otherwise, or you will be dealing with me directly, and unpleasantly. Am I understood?" He said it in such a deadly voice that even Mr. Weasley flinched.

"Come on dear. We have to find Ginny and see to her." He lead Molly past Harry with his quiet statement to his wife and up the stairs.

When they were out of site, Severus made his way over to Harry and put a hand on his shoulder. Harry fell into his father and hugged him tightly.

"How could they hate me so much?"

"I do not believe that they hate you. They are angry at the situation for similar reasons that I already explained to you. If she were my daughter I cannot say that I would not feel the same way."

"I'm an awful person."

"What I said to them also applies to you. If you treat yourself in such a way, you will be dealing with me. Understood?"

Harry nodded and pulled back, wiping a single tear from his eye. "I better go find Ginny and say goodbye. I bet they'll pull her out of school now and I won't see her until she turns 17."

Severus nodded. "Go. I believe the Headmaster is doing what he can to stop such a thing from happening, but it is best to plan for the worst in any case."

Harry walked off and up the stairs dejectedly, and Severus shook his head, and then he himself moved off to find the Headmaster.

The Weasley's had stayed the night and fussed over Ginny in the Hospital Wing (where she stayed to avoid questions from other students while her parents were there) and then left the next morning to speak to a lawyer about taking Ginny out of school after she was 17.

Ron gave Harry a good kick as he passed the moment after his parents left and he and Ginny had gone to sit together at a table in the common room.

"He's taking it harder than my parents," Ginny said.

Harry nodded. "We can't let them take us apart. We've got to stick together. As soon as you're 17 I'll come and get you."

"What about the lawyer?"

"My dad says he doesn't think they can do that, even though there will be a baby involved because you'll be a legal adult."

"Good. I want to finish school here. And with you close by in Hogsmead taking care of the baby we can visit every day... maybe I can stay with you on the weekends or you can stay here in guest quarters with us!"

"Now there's a good idea," Harry said, trying to make her smile, but not smiling himself.

"Things will be ok, won't they?"

Harry nodded. "Of course they will. We were already going to get married... this just hurried things along a bit."

"I'm glad your father isn't as mad about this as my mum and dad."

"He is I think," Harry said, wrapping his arms tighter around her. "He's just more understanding about it."

"I guess he'll be my father in law then, after we're married. That's a good thing."

Harry nodded. "I don't think he's ready to be a grandpa yet."

"I don't think I'm ready to be a mother yet."

Harry sighed. "Guess that's just going to have to speed along too. I'm going into Hogsmead tomorrow to look for a job since it's a Hogsmead weekend."

"Mum has taken my permission form back so I can't go. She insisted I stay in the girls dorm too except for classes and dinner, but I won't do that."

"I won't have any fun without you," Harry said, "Promise."

"Oh, I'll try not to be too disappointed about not dropping applications around different businesses."

Harry smiled. "I'll find something, I just know it."

* * *

Harry headed out bright and early Saturday morning, the first of the students to leave the castle by special permission of his father.

He had already spoken to three shop owners and a seamstress by the time he spied any other students mulling about the small wizarding village. By noon his options for working close to Hogwarts weren't looking very promising because nobody needed help during the summer.

A small coffee shop he hadn't been into yet had just caught his eye when Harry felt somebody grab his arm and the world went black.

Suddenly in a different place Harry landed hard on his feet and spun to find an ugly man with several large moles on his face staring down at him in a toothy grin.

"Oh he'll be pleased to see you Potter, just pleased as can be."

Harry tried to grab for his wand but suddenly found himself forced down to the ground and being bound by ropes that tightened so hard around his chest that he felt his vision going black.

"No!" Harry struggled but the ropes only got tighter as the man laughed.

"Pleased with me he'll be, pleased as can be," he chanted in a demented rhyme, his voice rasping happily.

Harry tried to get a bearing on where he was but only saw dusty old boxes and cobwebs hanging off a high ceiling. He could have been anywhere, but a warehouse was his best guess.

"Can't have you escaping while I'm out now can we?" the man said stooping down to look into Harry's terrified and angry eyes.

He grinned and then Harry knew only blackness as he was hit over the head with something heavy and hard.

* * *

Ginny's hands ached from wringing them together repeatedly. Her eyes glazed over as her parents talked at her and as her brother said something about Harry having run off, afraid of responsibility. He had been gone all day and all night without a word, and she knew it in her bones that it wasn't by his own will.

"The town has been combed four times," Mr. Weasley said, having helped in the search himself. "I doubt he's anywhere nearby... probably all the way across the pond by now."

"Have they checked the long distance floo yet?" Ron asked, sure that his father was right, and that Harry had indeed run off, leaving his sister desolate and in an awful situation.

"Yes, and they found-"

"No sign of him." Ginny suddenly looked up, eyes not glazed anymore, and her family was startled that she had spoken at all.

"Yes, no sign," Mr. Weasley said. "How did you know?"

"Because Harry loves me, and he wouldn't leave me like this. We were already planning on getting married as soon as we were allowed, with our without the baby. A baby doesn't change our feelings for each other."

"It changes his life Ginny," Ron said, suddenly aware of the pressure Harry must have been feeling for the last week.

"Change isn't always bad, and I wish the three of you would see that. I can't believe how you've turned on him! You said you loved him like a son once, and now that he's about to actually become part of this family, and be a son to you, you hate him, as if this is all his fault! He's out there hurt or dying, or captured, and all you can do is bad mouth him and act as if he's at fault. And if that's how we treat people, family or not, I don't think I really want to be part of this family any more. If this is the way you'll act for the rest of my life, then you won't see me or my husband or son after I'm 17."

Ginny got up and left the guest quarters her parents had been staying in, angry at them and angry at herself for having let them just sit there and talk about Harry like that. He wasn't a monster, he was a loving man... hers to be more exact.

She was just about to take a seat on the stairs leading down to the second floor when Professor Snape came running around the corner, hair disheveled and looking panicked. He spotted Ginny and came straight over to her.

"What is it?" she asked, knowing by the look on his face that it wasn't going to be good news.

"He's been captured. The dark lord has called a meeting and I must leave immediately. Are your parents still in their rooms?"

She nodded, her heart pounding furiously as she did, wondering if she would ever see Harry alive again. He made to move past her, but then stopped and put his hand on her shoulder and said, "I'm sorry," before hurrying off.

This time Ginny did allow herself to sink down to the floor there in the center of the corridor, and determined herself not to move until Harry was back safely in her arms.

* * *

Harry lay there on the dirty, wet cell floor, weak blue light filtering in from someplace he couldn't decide. He didn't know how long it had been since he'd been captured there in the alley in Hogsmead. It could have been days or weeks, or only hours; he just couldn't be sure. He had been under the Crucio so many times already that it seemed to him that he'd been there for years.

There was a dirty taste in his mouth, and he wanted to spit to get it out, but couldn't make enough spit to do it. He hadn't had any water in a very long time and his mouth was dry and his lips were cracked. A door slamming closed in the distance made him shudder. Was that them, coming back for him yet again? After he didn't hear any footsteps he relaxed just a little. Just so long as it wasn't Beallatrix... it was always worse when she preformed the curse... it always made him feel so oily and dirty afterwards. It was strange to believe that every Crucio cast felt different, depending on the caster. Wormtail's Cruicio was softer than the rest, and didn't drain him as much, and Lucius Malfoy's cast of the same curse made him feel cold and hopeless. But Bealltrix... it was like she was dipping him in a vat of hot dirty oil and drowning him until he couldn't breath. He always passed out when she cursed him, and always woke up in the dank, dirty cell again.

Harry eyed the small amount of water pooled on the floor and wondered how safe it was to drink. Maybe they had poisoned it? Or maybe it wasn't water at all? He didn't know, but he was so thirsty that he had to drink it or die. Harry pulled himself across the floor weakly, unable to stand, and allowed himself to suck up the half inch of water that rested there. It was brackish, but he was able to keep it down, and hoped that there would be more of it there the next time they dumped him back in this cold cell.

He imagined that he was someplace miles underground, in some hidden, secret fortress of Voldemort's. He had no idea who the man who had taken him was, but it was obviously a death eater or someone who wanted to be in Voldemort's good graces... if there was such a thing with this man... this monster, he corrected himself. Three times Voldemort had tried to get into Harry's head, and three times Harry had fended him off successfully, not wishing him to know that Severus was his father, or that Ginny was his wife to be with a child on the way. Each time Voldemort had grown angrier and allowed his death eaters to hold Harry under their curses longer. The cursing sessions always started with Wormtail and worked their way up to Bellatrix. Today would be different however, as Harry soon found out.

The door to the dank cells slammed open and Crabbe Jr. and Senior appeared, as big as ever, Crabbe Senior's toothy grin making Harry feel nauseous.

"Seems you've been invited to dinner Potter," the younger Crabbe spat as his father unlocked the door and yanked Harry to his feet.

"Master wants you to look good for your first appearance at the table," Crabbe Senior said in a thick voice just before he shoved Harry to the ground and proceeded to rub Harry's face across the hard concrete floor. Harry's classmate laughed as he watched from the cell door.

"Missed a spot dad," he called. "I think he needs some bruises to go with it." His father stepped back and Crabbe Jr. came in and kicked Harry in the chest and face until he couldn't breath anymore.

"Master doesn't seem to think you're feeling enough pain when they give you the Crucio. So we've come to make it a little worse for you. The more injuries you have, the worse the curse will be." Harry heard one of his ribs break as the elder Crabbe kicked him hard, and he couldn't seem to recover the air in his lungs for a long time after that.

"Are you going to kill me tonight?" Harry asked, wondering if he'd ever see the birth of his child.

"Don't get so anxious Potter," Crabbe said, although he couldn't tell which one it was. "You've got to be trained as the Dark Lord's new pet first. Then when he gets tired of you he'll do as he pleases."

Harry struggled as a dog collar was roughly jammed around his neck and tightened and then allowed himself to be dragged from the cell and up the many flights of stairs. He hadn't yet been this far above the cell, and the higher they went the nicer the rooms... or the mansion seemed to become. Allowing his body to go so lax so that the two fat men having to carry him had to struggle to get him up the stairs, allowed him some amount of satisfaction, as well as time to conserve energy.

"Better behave yourself pet," Lucius Malfoy said as Harry was dragged past and into a grand dining room with a tall ceiling painted with a grand mural. Harry caught glimpses of many gold things in the room, including high gold backed chairs as he was lifted to stand on the long dining room table, and then lifted by magic into a golden bird cage just his size hanging over the very center. The door was slammed shut by magic and locked tight.

Harry felt even more cramped in this cage than in the tiny one eight floors below. This one didn't even allow him to sit up all the way, although it gave him plenty of room to spread out sideways if he curled up a little. Just like a pet curled up on its side by a fire, he thought to himself, hating the idea of belonging to someone else.

Out of habit he looked at the wrist his watch was usually attached to, but couldn't tell the time because they'd taken the watch the moment he'd arrived there. Just another form of taking control of his life away from him, he thought.

After what had to have been an hour, servants began to bring food into the dining room and placing it on the table directly below Harry. The smells wafted up to him and he gave a begging look to one of the servants, but only got a sneer in return.

Once the food had all been placed, various death eaters began to filter in. Mostly the ones he already knew like the Malfoys and others who had been there torturing him, but also death eaters that he had never seen before, or whom he hadn't known were death eaters. Stan Shunpike from the Knight bus was there, looking very pleased with the spread of food before him, as well as Fortescue from the ice cream shop on Diagonalley, although when he caught sight of Harry in the cage, clothes torn and dirty face, he looked away with disgust and guilt.

"His last pet was a Muggle Potter... didn't last for more than a day before he keeled over and died... how long will you last?" Harry glared over at the woman speaking to him... it was Bellatrix, and he tried to fight off the dirty feeling that he had come to associate with her presence.

"Depends on how long he obeys." Harry's head snapped up at a familiar voice, and his heart leaped and fell at the same time seeing his father there. Was he there to help? Would he also be made to torture Harry?

Bellatrix sneered and said, "Yes, unfortunately you were invited to this affair, weren't you?"

"I come when called upon," Severus said with an air of distaste in his mouth. "Perhaps you are only jealous because your given seat isn't right next to our Master's."

Their master? Harry tried to tell himself that Severus was his father and not a servant of Voldemort... a spy for Dumbledore, but his tired, hungry mind was confused and he wasn't sure what to think anymore.

The larger door at the end of the long dining room opened once again and this time every other person there hit their knees, heads bowed as Voldemort entered, looking smug and pleased with himself.

"Rise faithful servants, I am well pleased with you. Come and sit at my table and take part in the glory of me."

Harry frowned. Part of what he had said sounded familiar... had he been quoting scripture? Harry had read the Bible since he was a child... it was the only book the Dursley's had that they didn't read, and so they didn't notice when Harry had snuck it into his room from their bookshelf and poured over it's pages when he was locked inside his tiny cupboard. Even that morning when he had once again found himself in the cell, he had prayed for strength and escape.

Suddenly Harry was surprised that everyone around him was seated and eating, because he hadn't been paying attention. He had been lost in thought and he was sure his eyes must have been glazed over.

"My lord, your new pet is so... exotic. What have you named him?" Harry watched as a scrawny death eater sitting near him gnawed at a chicken leg and waited for Voldemort to answer.

"I have not decided yet. Since he is the new... family pet, I will take suggestions."

The others seated around him seemed gleeful. "I say we call him scruffy... looks like a mutt to me... good thing you saved him my lord."

The others laughed and Voldemort tipped his head, as if he was just that generous kind of a person to save a mutt off the streets.

"What about scoundrel?"

"Maybe scrawny!"

"How about Spike? See how his hair sticks up all spiky like when it's dirty?"

Voldemort held up his hand to stop the suggestions. "Spike then... a good name for a dog of this breed." He looked up and caught Harry staring at Snape next to him, and then laughed and said, "Yes of course you would be surprised to see your previous owner here Spike... he was so good at concealing his loyalty to me. Even now the Headmaster of your previous kennel believes he is here spying for him."

Harry couldn't help the wounded look from splaying across his face, and Snape turned away.

"Are you hungry Spike? I don't give food to those who don't earn it. These around me have earned their keep, what about you? What will you do for sustenance? Will you beg?"

Angry at being treated this way Harry thought of spitting through the bars at those sitting nearest him, but suddenly his father's words came to mind about his survival depending on whether or not he obeyed. Let the monster think he was being trained, he told himself, he would kill him when the time came.

"Please, can I have some food?" Harry asked quietly.

"What's that Spike? I didn't hear you all the way down here? Speak louder!"

"Please, can I have some food?" Harry said it a little louder.

Voldemort laughed, and then said, "No, but thank you for asking so kindly. Say it one more time for me, and remember, I am your master!"

Harry stared at Snape for just a moment, and felt like his father's eyes were encouraging him to do as he was told, so he said it again, adding master on the end, but instead of words, it was barking that came out of his mouth, and for a second he wondered if he really had been turned into a dog.

At the confused look on his face the death eaters around him broke out in laughter and with a nod from Voldemort a few of them threw scraps of food up to Harry, who stuffed them into his mouth eagerly, which only made Voldemort and the others laugh that much harder.

Harry barked again and again, and twice more little scraps of fruits or veggies were thrown up at him, but never enough to make him feel full.

"Very good Spike," Voldemort said, "Very good indeed. And for your obedience you will only suffer one hour of the Cruciatus before you go to bed tonight."

He snapped his fingers and pointed at a death eater Harry didn't know, and before Harry knew what was happening he was writhing on the floor of the golden cage in pain, knowing the change in the caster of the curse only by it's feel.

For the briefest of moments he saw his father lift his wand and then felt a much weakened version of the curse hit him, but he continued to writhe on the floor, howling in pain and barking as if he were really being tortured, and then the caster changed again, and he felt that oily all encompassing feel come over him again, and he blacked out.

* * *

Severus sat by Voldemort's side in the large study in the smaller of the two velvet green chairs. Several other of the more faithful servants also sat around them. It had been three days since he had arrived and seen his son hanging from the ceiling in the cage being taunted.

"Unfortunately there's just no way to know when he's been trained," Voldemort was saying to the group of them. There were nods of agreement.

"Perhaps when he comes back to you master," Severus said smoothly.

"Explain yourself Severus."

"Dogs come back to their masters after being let loose. It is then that masters know that their pets are trained."

"You suggest I let him loose? I think not."

"Of course not Master," Severus said, bowing his head in false submission. "I only meant it as an idea, that perhaps we could release... Spike, within the confines of the mansion and see if he comes to you. There is no possible way that he can escape with so many of us around... watching him constantly. If he comes to you, then we will know that he has been trained." He had watched for days as Harry barked and begged for food and water, and as he crawled around on all fours when called upon to do so.

Voldemort seemed to be thinking for a moment, and then said, "Very well then. Leave his wand on a table near the door on the table outside my study. If he is not trained, then I will be rid of him for good, and we will just have to find another more worthy pet."

"Who shall go my Lord?" Bellatrix asked, hoping she could get one more good Crucio in on Harry if she were the one allowed to go and release him.

"It was Severus' idea, let him see to it. And if he was wrong, then he can also deal with the consequences. You go with him Lucius, in case you have to hand out punishment for a bad idea."

Both men said, "Yes my Lord," and stood and moved off.

* * *

Harry had just finished lapping up water out of the dog dish that had been glued to the cell floor by magic when the door opened and he moved to the back of his cell, wishing they would just leave him alone. They hadn't placed a barking spell on him in a couple of days, but he had barked out of obedience anyway in order to get food. His green leash hung on a nail just outside his cell door, and he expected to be lead out of the cell on all fours yet again. But this time it was his father and Lucius Malfoy that appeared.

"It seems you are to be released Spike," Lucius said with a sneer as Severus unlocked the door.

Harry gave a questioning look to his father, and in the span of a second he was overwhelmed with the images of things that had been said that his father had sent him through his eyes. Harry was uncertain, but felt from his father's mind that this was part of a plan and was in his best interests, so he crawled out of the cell, even though his hands and knees ached. All those weeks of scrubbing dungeons on his hands and knees had paid off at least, it seemed, because at least he was used to this kind of pain.

From the floor Harry gave a questioning look up to Lucius, who motioned with his hand to the stairs that lead out of the deep basement.

Harry crawled off and up the stairs. He wasn't exactly sure where Voldemort's study was, so he crawled out of the stairwell on the first landing and continued to crawl around the mansion until all the rooms on the floor had been exhausted as possibilities. He moved on to the second floor, and then the third, noticing strange orbs hanging in the corner of each room and the hallway. He would have to remember to ask his father what those were, although he had the feeling he was being watched and it had something to do with the orbs.

Finally, on the fifth floor Harry found a door that seemed like the one he had seen in his vision. He also found his wand on a table outside. He was very tempted to grab it and run, but remembered the feeling conveyed to him to just obey one more time, and so he left it there. Sitting on his knees he barked until the door opened, and he crawled in quickly, tongue hanging out of his mouth and sat at Voldemort's feet. Voldemort looked both surprised and pleased.

"See now, it appears that my most faithful servant was right." Harry looked around and found that one wall of the room was covered in different images of other rooms, and suddenly understood that he had been watched, and that the orbs were some kind of wizarding camera system.

"Did you miss me Spike?" Voldemort looked down at him, and Harry barked and moved his butt back and forth as if he was wagging a tail, and Voldemort smiled again. After a few minutes of sitting there next to Voldemort's legs, Lucius Malfoy walked in with his wand out and aimed at Voldemort. Thinking that he could care less if Voldemort died, but that this was probably all still a test, Harry began to growl, and when Malfoy didn't put his wand down, Harry stood up and lunged at the man, biting him hard on the wrist until he dropped his wand. Harry then picked the wand up between his teeth and carried it to Voldemort where he dropped it on his lap, and sat back down by his feet.

Lucius gave Harry a dirty look as he tried to stop his wrist from bleeding out, and Voldemort patted Harry's head. "Good boy Spike, good dog." Harry stuck his chin out in the air as if he was proud, and laid down on the floor as any contented dog would do.

After a short while Severus appeared again in the study and bowed to Voldemort. "Master, Bellatrix has brought urgent word of an impending attack on the fortress by the Ministry."

"What!?" Voldemort spat and kicked Harry as he stood up. He scanned the wall of rooms and when he saw Bellatrix standing in the entrance to the fortress looking anxious, he stormed off, Malfoy and the others with him except for Snape and Harry.

When the wall of rooms showed that the way was clear, Severus held out a wand to Harry, who took it and stood up.

"Are you strong enough to make a run for it?"

Harry nodded.

"We cannot apparate directly off the premises. We must make it to the property line before we can apparate."

Severus lead off, but Harry stopped him before they left the room, and said, "What about the refrigerator?"

"The what?"

"I saw the fridges... they're huge. And they have the same charm on theirs as we do ours... unwanted things leave the fridge by apparation, and new food comes in... that's how I was going to escape. We can apparate from wherever we end up."

Severus thought about it and then said, "We will be thrown into Knockturn Alley."

"But you can't go with me! He'll know you helped me!"

"My life is forfeit either way. Come, we must hurry."

By some miracle they met no one on their way to the kitchens, and with help Harry climbed into the largest fridge. Severus cast a spell that put some mold on the bottom of Harry's shoe and shut the door.

Harry sat in the darkness for a moment before he felt himself falling, and then landed on a large trash heap in the back yard of some old brick building. He hurried to move out of the way, and a few moments later, his father appeared out of nowhere and also landed on the trash heap. Without hesitation he grabbed Harry's arm and they were gone once again, appearing on the edge of Hogwart's grounds.

"Run Harry," Severus told him. "They will notice us gone before long and come after us, knowing we will come right back here." Together they ran up the front lawns, Harry having a hard time because his knees ached and because sucking in deep breaths felt like it was going to kill him with his broken ribs, but finally they made the castle and hurried inside.

"Where's Ginny?" Harry asked. "Is she ok?"

"I do not know. I left shortly after I told her you had been captured. She was with her family in the guest quarters on the third floor."

Without hesitating Harry sprinted up the stairs, Severus close on his feet, not wanting to let his son out of sight now that he was temporarily safe again.

Without knocking Harry threw open the doors to the Weasley quarters, startling the four gathered there. In an instant Harry and Ginny were wrapped up in each other's arms, Ginny sobbing hard and Harry trying to comfort her.

"I thought you were dead. I was never going to see you again. You were never going to see our son."

"Shh... it's ok. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. I shouldn't have been out alone looking for a job. Are you ok? Is the baby ok? I didn't mean for you to be stressed over all of this. It must have been awful for you."

She nodded and held him tighter. "Don't go anywhere Harry... don't go anywhere ever again."

"I'm not. I'm not leaving you again."

The other three Weasley's stared as Harry comforted Ginny, even though he could barely stand and looked as if he'd gone through a meat grinder to get back to her. Mr. Weasley looked over at Severus, who stood in the doorway looking worn.

"Is he ok? Should he be in the infirmary?"

Severus nodded. "Yes."

When Harry and Ginny refused to let go of each other, Severus gently pulled on Harry's arm to get them to separate. Harry gave Ginny one last loving look, and then allowed himself to collapse right there on the floor, Severus barely catching him in time.

"NO! STOP! PLEASE NO! ARRRRRGGGGGG!"

Severus was at his son's bedside in a flash, shaking his shoulders and trying to get him to wake, but he couldn't.

"MASTER NO! I DIDN'T DO IT! ARRRGGGG!"

Knowing that his son was reliving his capture and torture, Severus conjured a bucket of icy water with his wand and allowed it to dump over his son's head, soaking both of them and the bed.

Harry sputtered and coughed, as if he were drowning, and sat up straight, looking terrified. Severus did not hesitate to pull Harry into a hug, and Harry let himself be wrapped up in the warmth of his father's arms.

"Make it stop, please. I can't do it anymore."

"You are awake now. It was only a dream. Allow yourself to calm."

"No, it's never going to stop. I've been having the dreams for four days. It's like I'm under the crucio again and again."

Severus sighed and held Harry tighter. Madam Pomfrey, as well as a specialized medi-witch from St. Mungos had both looked Harry over and given him a clean bill of health after a few days in the Hospital Wing, but the medi-witch had told Severus in private that residual magic from the crucio's might continue to torment Harry for several weeks, especially in his sleep.

"We knew this might happen Harry. Eventually the magic will dissipate, and you will be fine." At least he had only collapsed once during the day from a pseudo crucio attack, and it had been in Severus' private quarters where no one could witness his son writhing in pain on the floor.

"It's never going to stop," Harry said with certainty, shuddering. "I'll never be able to hold the baby... I'll pass out and drop him or something."

Releasing his grip on his son, Severus tilted Harry's chin up so that Harry would look directly into his eyes. "You will be all right. If you trust me in nothing else, trust me when I say that you are safe here with me. As soon as you begin going to classes again, and participating in your other, normally reckless activities, the effects will fade more quickly as your mind grows occupied with other things.

Thus far Harry had been temporarily dismissed from classes so that he could have time to deal with the trauma, but he could not simply skip the entire end of the year. Two weeks out of school was too much already. It was common knowledge now that Severus was Harry's father (someone, presumable one of the Weasley's had leaked it to the rest of the student body), and that Harry had been captured by Voldemort and rescued. Every day he was asked about Harry's well-being by concerned students, and every day he lied: ‘He is doing better, thank you for your concern. He will be back in class in a few days.'

"You're not going to make me go back, are you?" Harry shuddered, cold and wet there in the bed in his room in his father's quarters.

Severus eyed his son. "Yes, I am. And things will get better. Your classmates, and fiancé are worried about you." Harry hadn't wanted Ginny to see him like this. She had been allowed to see him in the Hospital Wing, but the moment Harry had been released and had had his first attack in his father's quarters, Harry had asked to be left alone by everyone, except for Severus.

"I don't want to go. I've done all my homework already... I'm all caught up."

Conjuring a towel and handing it to Harry to begin to dry off, Severus said, "Being caught up is not enough. You need to finish out the year and take your NEWTS. If you intend to apply to the Auror's Program after Ginny has graduated then you need high scores."

"How can you think about the Auror program now?" Harry said, sounding more accusing than he realized.

"You want me out there battling dark wizards?"

"I want you trained properly so that you can protect yourself. And in any case, I did not say you had to apply, only that you might wish to in the future, which requires good grades on the NEWTS, as do most occupations. Even Quidditch teams require high grades on specific NEWTS."

Harry sighed as he dried off his hair and scratched at his head. "I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can sit through classes like nothing happened. How am I supposed to concentrate with so much going on in my mind?"

"A strong cup of coffee after occluding your mind, and then a will to focus hard on the task at hand."

‘One day at a time,' didn't that sound all too familiar, Harry mused.

"Fine, I'll go back tomorrow," Harry said, knowing it would be better to go back Monday instead of the middle of the week when he would be behind on lessons again. He would put on the brave face everybody expected him to... even his father. How Harry wished his father understood.

Severus tried to give Harry an encouraging look. "You will do fine, and I will be here for you should you need me." Here he pulled out a bottle with green liquid in it and handed it to Harry. "One swallow of this will prevent the attacks for four hours. Plenty of time to go to classes provided you do not fall asleep."

Harry took it and nodded. "Thanks dad."

Severus smiled, still amazed at the name that now came so easily from his son's mouth.

* * *

After a week without incident during the day, and lessening incidents during the night, Harry moved back into Gryffindor tower to much happy applaud by his classmates, happy that he was finally back. Even Ron seemed enthused to have him back, even though he still wasn't speaking to him.

Harry took great comfort in sitting in the corner of the common room as he once had, wrapped up in Ginny's arms, her fingers running through his hair.

"Benjamin," she said.

"Noah," Harry replied.

"Kenai."

"Should we be talking about this here?" Harry looked up into her eyes from where his head rested in her lap as he lay on his back.

"Nobody knows what we're talking about, and they will soon enough anyway."

"Just so long as you're comfortable with it."

"I am so long as you're here." She grinned and Harry tried to return it, trying not to worry over how he was ultimately doomed to kill or be killed.

* * *

"Harry?"

Harry looked up at Ron as he was pulling his left sneaker off. "Yeah?"

Ron looked around to be sure that none of the other boys were there in the dormitory with them, and then said, "I saw how you were when you got back... I mean, how good you were to Ginny... like you didn't even care you were about to pass out. That means a lot."

Harry stared at him. "I love her. I'd do anything for her."

"I know... and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for being such a jerk. It's always been me and her against everybody else in the family with us being the youngest. And I swore to protect her. It was hard knowing I'd failed."

"You didn't fail," Harry told him. "You just allowed the responsibility to pass off on to me. And I wanted it."

Ron thought on that for a moment. "How ‘bout we share?"

Harry allowed himself a small laugh.

"Just don't tell her that then."

"Forgive me for breaking your nose, even though you deserved it?"

Harry threw a pillow at him. "Only if you forgive me for breaking yours, even though you deserved it."

Ron threw the pillow back.

"Deal."

* * *

The corridor was dark as Harry made his way back from the kitchens with a snack for Ginny. Apparently being two months pregnant made you very hungry, and he had been going back and forth to the kitchens every night near or after curfew with fruit and cookies, and anything else she asked for.

Tonight was one of those nights that she wanted peanut butter brownies with pickles and mayonnaise and that he had to hold back the urge to throw up as he carried the nasty concoction up the stairs.

Harry had just reached the second floor when he saw a puddle of water in the hallway. Hm, that was odd. There weren't even any bathrooms nearby that could have flooded, and yet, here was water in the middle of the floor. He stooped down to investigate, and as he saw his own reflection in the dirty water he felt a familiar ache of thirst coming over him.

He shook himself mentally. No, stop it, this wasn't the same dungeon he had been thrown into with rancid water resting on the floor the only thing for him to drink. But as hard as he tried to shake himself of the feeling that he was somehow still trapped there, he couldn't, and the next thing he knew he had dropped Ginny's snack and hit the stone floor with his knees. Head spinning and a familiar oily feeling reaching him from a curse that had long since fallen upon him, Harry shook his head over and over, and when he couldn't rid himself of it, he stopped trying, and allowed himself to sink further into fear and anxiety, until he no longer knew where he lay, and who was around him.

* * *

Severus Snape's office door burst open with such fury that he had pulled his wand out in defense, ready to attack whomever had barged in on him in such a hurry. Instead of Voldemort or another Deatheater however, he spotted Draco Malfoy, hair disheveled and panting as if he'd run a marathon.

"Harry...Come... Now!"

Draco turned and ran and Severus followed close on his heels, not daring to ask what had happened to his son now. Within minutes they were rounding the corner to a corridor on second floor where Harry lay curled in on himself, a mess of food splattered on the floor beside him. Draco looked like he was about to die from running so fast, but Severus knew he would be all right, and knew his son needed him more.

"Harry," Severus kneeled beside him and brought his head up to lay in his lap. "Harry, it's all right, you're at Hogwarts, safe."

He didn't respond, and when Severus saw how his eyes were glazed over, he remembered the Longbottoms, still in St. Mungos, the horror from so much trauma and Cruciatus curses having driven them insane.

"Harry, you have to listen to me now. Your father is here, Draco is here... you are going to be fine. You're fine Harry, there's no danger." He repeated it, trying to believe it himself, but knowing that even now Deatheaters plotted along with the Dark Lord on how to kill him and his son.

"Help me Draco," Severus said, motioning for the blond to kneel down. Draco did so and helped lift Harry up to a sitting position, and turned him to face his father.

Severus looked into his son's eyes, and before diving into them, said to Draco, "Whatever happens, tell him that it was not his fault if I should not come out of this."

Draco wanted to tell him to stop, that he was the only real father he knew as well, but knew that Harry depended on Snape, so he only nodded. And then his Head of House looked just as glazed over as Harry did.

Inside Harry's mind were no images, no memories playing as though a movie on a screen. There was only darkness, and in a far corner of the darkness sat a still figure bathed in a small, warm light.

Severus walked towards the figure, and found Harry.

"Son?"

Harry looked up.

"You're going to end up as crazy as I am if you stay too long," Harry said.

"You have to come out now Harry. You can't stay like this."

Harry sighed. Or what, or I'll have so many attacks one day that I'll harm Ginny or the baby? So many attacks that I'll finally crack and end up in St. Mungos?" He laughed nervously.

"You have to come out of here, or you will end up in St. Mungos. Hiding from your problems is not the way to handle them, trust me when I say I am intimately familiar with this problem."

"Trust me when I say it's dangerous out there. Do you really think Voldemort would attack me like this?"

"I think Voldemort will attack your family without you around to protect them. He already knows of Ginny and the baby. And I do not believe you want your wife and child living without you."

"Also something you're familiar with?"

"Unfortunately."

Harry bowed his head where he sat with his back up against the solid darkness, and when nothing more was forthcoming, Severus knelt down beside him.

"Harry, this is the price you must pay for having a family. You must sacrifice yourself for them. In this case, you must sacrifice your fear and the trauma you have experienced, and leave the safety of your mind so that you may protect them."

"It's all just too much dad." Harry looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "I'm so tired of living like this... living from hurt to hurt."

Suddenly Severus remembered something that his son had once tried to tell him, about things not mattering to him, and he began to grasp why Harry let things roll off of him. Because if things didn't matter, he didn't have to hide, didn't have to be afraid.

"Harry, don't let this thing matter to you. Let me take the burden. It is my job as a parent to worry over you. You must learn to let go of your fears and hand them off to me."

"But I've never done that before. I don't know how."

Severus reached forward and pulled his son into a tight embrace. "Like this Harry. Just let go. Let it all go."

And suddenly Harry felt the warmth of his father's embrace, both in his mind and in the real world, and knew what it was to truly be able to rely on another person... to be able to rely on a parent. It was one thing to believe you knew what it was to have another person, and to actually know for certain that you did. And he was suddenly sitting on a cold stone floor sobbing and being held by his father, Draco looking on in shock.

"It's ok, let me handle the burdens Harry. That's not your job anymore."

"I know," Harry said. "I finally know."