A soft sound behind Severus alerted him to Dumbledore’s presence. He didn’t turn around. Gone were the days when he had been forced to whip about at the merest hint of movement, grabbing his wand from his holster with amazing speed. He was enjoying the peace of being able to watch his son sleep for a moment longer.

“So this is the boy?” Dumbledore asked.

Severus nodded carefully. “This is Evan.”

“A good name.”

Severus shifted beneath Dumbledore’s searching gaze. He ran a hand lightly through Evan’s hair, a thumb running across the boy’s pale, unmarred forehead. He was small, too small beneath all those covers. He needed to gain a bit of weight, put some meat on those fragile bones.

“You should not have done it.”

Severus glanced up. Dumbledore’s face was grave. As much as he had manipulated Harry, Severus realized that in his own way Dumbledore had loved the boy. Losing him would be hard. He closed his eyes. “It was not my choice.”

“No? Did you not brew the potion.”

“I did. If I hadn’t have, he would have gotten someone else to do it for him, and then so many more people would have known. Now there’s a chance that Evan will have some anonymity.”

“And what would you tell people about Harry Potter?”

“I wouldn’t tell them anything. For all I care, Harry Potter has disappeared. Or he is dead. Whichever you prefer.”

Dumbledore swallowed. He looked almost as though he might cry, and Severus had to turn away. He could not stand to see his mentor so unmanned. “You have such contempt for the one poor child who saved this world?”

“There’s ten million more who probably could if we’d all just stop and say a prayer for them.”

“You should have told me about it.”

“Perhaps. I might have, except that I was afraid you might make him change his mind.”

“Would that have been a bad thing?”

“Evan wouldn’t be here,” Severus said quietly.

“But Harry would be!”

“A jaded Harry. A corrupt Harry,” Severus looked back at Dumbledore. “He had lost too much, Albus. He had suffered too much. He could not have recovered from all of it. He would have turned out…”

“Like you?”

“Like me.”

“You’re a good man, Severus.”

“I have my merits,” Severus acknowledged, “but there is no denying the fact that to see Harry Potter behave as I do would be the bitterest disappointment. Better that we remember him as he was in his youth.”

“You speak as though he were an old man! He was barely twenty.”

“As I was when I turned spy to Voldemort,” Severus’s eyes sharpened. “Twenty is only a youthful age to some. Harry Potter had lived the life of a man five times his age. He deserved to be let go.”

“And to be given a second chance?” Dumbledore leaned closer. “Are we still talking about Harry, or are we talking about you?”

Severus met Dumbledore’s gaze squarely. “I was speaking of Potter, although everyone deserves a second chance—because everyone is forgiven now. Tonight’s the night the world begins again.”

Dumbledore sat back in his seat. He looked all at once very old. He turned sparkless blue eyes to Severus, frowning in consternation. “You have grown up a great deal in this last war. Some might call you wise.”

“Better late than never.”

“What will you do with the boy?” Dumbledore nodded towards Evan.

“He’s mine,” Severus said coolly. “I will raise him as such.”

“I trust that today’s mishap was a one-time fluke.”

“Clearly.”

“Will you tell him about… everything?”

“When he is older.”

“Very well,” Dumbledore stood, slowly, excruciatingly. He put one hand to the small of his back and rested the other on the back of his chair, breathing slowly in and out for a moment before heading towards the door. “Shall I have the house elves add another room to your chambers?”

“There’s no rush. Evan and I will be spending the rest of this year away from the school. I need someplace simple where we can live- perhaps Prince manor.”

“And next year?”

“I would like to come back to teaching, if that is an option.”

“I will have them add another room to your chambers, then.” Severus thought that he could hear a hint of a smile on the old man’s voice.

Severus sat with Evan until he woke up, not willing to risk Evan running away again. He would have to find some other time to make potions for Evan, or else he would have to bring Evan down to the lab with him. He wasn’t fond of that idea, but he supposed that he could probably set up a safe area of the lab for Evan to play in. Evan seemed like a fairly calm child, and Severus got the impression that if he told Evan to stay in one spot, Evan would.

This time when Evan opened his eyes, Severus was there. He should have been the first time, Severus thought. Evan smiled at him, a weak, nervous smile that made Severus at once happy and upset.

“How are you doing, son?”

Evan shrugged.

“Christmas is just around the corner,” Severus said, trying to get the boy to come out of his shell a bit.

It seemed to backfire. An array of emotions flashed across Evan’s face, but while Severus saw curiosity and nervousness and anger and disappointment, he could not register any positive emotions on Evan’s face.

“Christmas?” Evan said blandly.

“Yes, silly,” Severus ruffled Evan’s hair, and was deeply disturbed by how much his persona had changed already. Since when did he use ridiculous words like silly? Since now, he supposed. “Do you have any idea what you want?”

“What I want?”

“For Christmas!”

“I get stuff for Christmas?”

“Of course. All good boys get something for Christmas.”

Evan turned away. His eyes latched onto a spot on the infirmary wall. “I’m not a good boy.”

Severus frowned. “Of course you are. What makes you say that?”

“I dunno.”

“Evan—“

“I ran away!”

“We talked about that. You won’t do it again?”

Evan shook his head.

“Then there’s nothing to worry about. Come here,” Severus pressed a kiss to Evan’s temple. “I love you very much, and that in itself proves that you are a good boy.”

“Yeah?” Evan grinned. “I wish everyone was loved.”

Severus laughed, tickling the boy lightly in the side. “Well then they’d all get your Christmas presents, wouldn’t they?”

Evan let out a shriek as Severus got him in a particularly ticklish spot. “Papa, stop!”

Severus stopped, laughed, and ruffled Evan’s hair again. “So what do you want for Christmas?” He would, of course, be buying the child many things for the holiday, but if there was something specific that Evan wanted Severus didn’t want to neglect it. How could Evan want something specific, though, having only been here for a little bit? Unless there was something that Harry had seen as a child that Evan would have wanted?

“C’n I have a beanie baby?”

Severus looked at Evan in surprise. He wasn’t sure why he was surprised to hear that; beanie babies were particularly popular in the muggle world, and Evan wouldn’t know about anything from the magical world. He supposed it was the simplicity of the present that surprised Severus. “That might be arranged.”

“What do you want for Christmas, Papa?”

Severus froze. He hadn’t expected that anyone would think to get him something for Christmas. Albus usually sent him a bottle of whiskey, but that was about it. His holidays were spent alone and in solitude, and while he had expected that he would have to make them a bit more extravagant now that he had Evan with him, he hadn’t considered the possibility of Evan getting him anything. He didn’t need boxes wrapped in strings and desire and love and empty things, but he didn’t think that saying as much to Evan would be spirited. “I need something only you can give.”

“What’s that?”

“Something from right here,” Severus said, placing a hand over Evan’s heart.

Evan frowned. “How do I get something from there?”

“I’ll tell you what. I’m going to ask Mr. Dumbledore to dinner one day this week. He’s a friend of Papa’s. You can ask him for some help.”

“Okay. Papa?” Evan put a hand on Severus’s heart. “Instead of a beanie baby, can I have something from here?”

“Every present you get from me will be straight from the heart, Evan.”