Although it didn't feel like it, Harry had spent an entire 28 hours sleeping after his visit from the hospital.

Severus had gone into the boy's temporary room every few hours to check up on him and spell a few potions into his stomach. Otherwise the man avoided the room and sat mournfully in his study. So when Harry finally woke during the late afternoon over an entire day later, he was greeted with a darkening and vacant room filled with the usual clutter and disinterest.

Harry frowned and tried to sit upright but his body ached as though he had over-done some form of extreme sports. His throat was also rather dry and his hands felt far too cold.

He lay there and didn't even consider calling for his father. At that moment he despised the man greatly. He hadn't told him that his mother was alive and while he'd clearly held on hope for her recovery, it seemed as though he didn't harbor similar feelings for his son if he had given Harry up so quickly.

Harry sniffed and despite his weakened state, he forced himself to roll over onto his side. He faced the wall the side of his bed was pressed against in effort to shut out everything around him. Tears slid down his cheeks as Harry expressed the hurt inside himself. He couldn't even put into words how much he had wished for a family and how all he wanted was for someone to love him. Feeling vulnerable, Harry curled into a fetal position underneath the blankets and squeezed his eyes tightly closed.

He inhaled sharply when he heard a sound outside the bedroom and reached up to wipe away his tears, feeling embarrassed by his emotionally unraveled state. He continued to stare at the darkened wall and refused to turn around when he felt the pressure on his mattress that suggested he wasn't alone.

Severus nodded his head; he understood why the boy was in such a state of sadness and anger. He had felt it every single day for the past eight years.

He had come to check on the boy when he'd noticed the state his child was in and the guilt that had stabbed him had been worst than what he'd felt when he'd been unable to save Lily or when he'd left the same boy at the orphanage all those years ago. He sat on the space on the bed caused by Harry trying to put as much distance between them as possible and merely stared at the back of the boy's head for several minutes.

Neither said a word as Harry fought his emotions but could not prevent his sniffling nose from shaking his form. Severus was glad the boy's back was turned or he'd have to explain why his own expression was pained as it expressed the turmoil he was under from seeing his son in such a way.

No longer resisting the urge, Severus reached over and lightly touched the boy's head with his hand. Harry flinched from the sudden contact but made no move to shove his father away so Severus slowly started smoothing the boy's hair with his hand.

The silky action began to soothe them both until slowly but surely, Harry turned around to face his father and Severus removed his hand.

Still, not a single word was spoken as they pair stared at the other and a small smile spread over Severus' lips as he saw the anger leave Harry's eyes to be replaced with uncertainty.

'Are you hungry?' Severus asked the boy and Harry slowly nodded.

'Come on.' Severus stood and held out a hand for Harry, who reached for it and used the borrowed strength to pull himself from the bed. Severus winced when he felt a shiver of cold rush through him when Harry's hand touched his own, which was colder than ice. He checked the boy was busy glancing down at his pajamas (it seemed he'd just noticed he was wearing them), and placed his other hand over Harry's so that the boy's smaller hand was sandwiched between his larger ones.

Harry didn't even notice as his hands warmed with the magic from his father and his pale face became more flushed than chalky white.

'Hm.' Harry said, still trying to work out when he had changed his clothes. Severus observed his expression and cast a spell to change the pajamas back into their original clothes while still gripping Harry's hand with one of his own to assist him in remaining upright.

'You feel exhausted because a large portion of your magic had been drained and your core requires some time to recover.' Severus explained. 'You may come downstairs for dinner but I strongly recommend you not to over-do it.'

Harry nodded and was still to utter a single word. Severus helped him to the door but the boy was clearly having difficulty. They paused in the doorway and Harry looked up at Severus questionably and suppressed a yelp when the man suddenly lifted him and alternatively carried him downstairs.

'I have a roast in the oven.' Severus placed Harry in the chair and turned towards the kitchen as the scent of a delicious meal reached Harry and inspired his appetite.

'It's nowhere near as splendid as your mother's but...it's still her recipe.'

'Why didn't you tell me she was alive?' Harry finally spoke and Severus turned towards him quickly before he applied a mask of casualness.

'Because I feared that you would become attached as I have.' Severus explained and hovered the plates of food over to the table before he sat across from his son.

'You are only staying for a week, therefore this new knowledge may haunt you as surely it does I.'

'She's my mother!' Harry scowled. 'I have the right to know.'

'And as your father I have the right to protect you.' Severus retorted. 'I find it incredible that of all things your little stunt has temporarily robbed you of, your speech is not one of them.' He muttered to himself as the boy could barely walk and yet he had no difficulty shouting at him.

'How can you be my father?' Harry frowned and Severus heard those words as though they had taken physical form and cut their way into his ears; it hurt.

'You don't love me, you don't want me and you'd rather look after someone stuck to a hospital bed than your own son!' Harry vented and fresh tears shed from his eyes.

Severus growled as he heard those words and Harry recoiled from the expression glared his way. 'Do not speak of your mother that way.' He warned. 'You are but a child. I do not have to explain such complicated situations to you because they are beyond your understanding.'

'Oh, so now I'm stupid too?' Harry grumbled. His anger was replaced with startled fear when his father suddenly slammed his palm against the table and caused Harry to jump.

'Sorry!' Harry yelped quickly as he remembered that he knew nothing about his father and angering him could have the same result as angering his uncle had.

Severus cursed to himself when he realized he'd scared the boy. He exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment as he pondered on how to rectify the situation.

'Harry.' Severus sighed. 'I promised you that I would explain everything and I will. If you finish your meal, I will assist you with your shower and once you are back in bed...you will know everything.'

Harry grabbed his fork and used all of his remaining strength to eat the meal as fast as he could. The roast pork with potatoes and vegetables was perhaps the best dinner he could ever recall eating but he said nothing of it until his plate was empty.

Severus finished his own eating and nodded. He approached Harry to pick him up but the boy pulled away and glared at him.

'I can walk.' Harry frowned.

'Oh, brilliant.' Severus grumbled to himself as the boy attempted to climb the stairs all on his own. 'He has inherited my stubbornness.'

'Why do you have so many stairs?' Harry complained and Severus didn't even bother to attempt an answer to such a rhetorical question. He rolled his eyes and watched his son struggle his way up the stairs until the boy reached the bedroom door and used the frame for support.

'Satisfied?' Severus asked as Harry turned and looked at his desperately, obviously about to fall over from his extra strain.

'Help.' Harry winced and Severus was concerned when they boy's face slowly began to pale again.

'Idiot child, what where you thinking?' Severus scowled as he rushed to catch his son when the boy stumbled.

He sighed and assisted Harry towards the bathroom while applying a featherlight charm on him. He summoned his real pajamas and proceeded to run the warm water of the shower while Harry undressed with embarrassment.

'This is humiliating.' Harry whined.

'I've changed your diapers.' Severus rolled his eyes. 'And I'm your father. Come along now, water isn't cheap.' He assisted Harry with the short shower and the boy did not stop blushing the entire time.

Severus spelled Harry dry and did the same for his clothes. He reached out a hand to help the boy but Harry was focused on something else.

'What?' Severus wondered as Harry approached the mirror and used his sleeve to wipe it so he could stare at his reflection. He moved behind Harry to see what had captured the boy's attention, which is what Harry had hoped he would do.

'See?' Harry smiled at his father through his reflection. 'I have your eyes.' He pointed to his eyes while Severus watched with amusement.

'And your hair.' He ran a hand through the strands, remembering how his father had done the same less than an hour ago.

'But it's softer, like your mothers.' Severus did exactly that as he touched Harry's hair, feeling tis softness while Harry's grin widened.

'What about my ears?' Harry wondered and pulled at them to examine their shape. His antics almost made Severus laugh as they lost themselves to the moment.

'Your mother's.' Severus replied.

'I look like a monkey.' Harry complained and turned around to face his father when the man was incapable of suppressing his snort. He felt warm knowing that he had just made his father smile, something he hadn't seen on the man's face before.

'What about my smile?' Harry's tone was lower and more mysterious.

'Yours or mums?' He turned around to the mirror.

Severus shrugged at that one. 'I don't know, what do you think?'

'I think it's both.' Harry announced. 'Just like my skin colour and...' He turned back to his father. 'And my hands.'

'Your hands?' Severus glanced at them.

'No, I mean they're soft and warm. Just like mums and just like yours.' Harry told him.

'Right well, come on now...time for bed.' Severus cleared his throat but couldn't resist smirking at the boy. 'But you do look a little like a monkey.'

'Do not!' Harry protested as his father picked him up to help him get ready for bed without the extra struggle to walk there.

'What is it?' He noticed a sad expression suddenly overcome the man.

'Your mother used to call you that when you were a toddler.' Severus admitted with a sigh as he pulled the blankets up to Harry's chin.

'Our little monkey.' He said. 'Because you'd cling on like a monkey and never let go.'

Harry nodded and understood why that made both himself and his father sad. But now that he was in his bed, the more pressing issues returned and he was hungry for information.

'Is this when you tell me everything?' Harry wondered as Severus sat on the edge of his bed and nodded.

'As you know, there is both light and darkness in the world.' Severus began.

'Magic or muggle, this will always be the case. You were born in 1981 and barely two years later a very dark wizard named...Voldemort, had showed up at the house you and your mother were staying in. He brought some of his worst Death Eaters with him, those who specialize in extracting information through...torture.'

'Torture?' Harry gulped. 'Um, what's a Death Eater?'

'Yes. And they are V-Voldemort's followers.' Severus struggled a little with the name but was determined to say it, for Lily.

'I deeply regret not being there to protect both of you.' Severus admitted his shame and stared elsewhere, unable to face Harry's gaze.

'I was a Death Eater myself since departing school, but as a spy.' He heard Harry's gasp. 'I advanced in the ranks and reported everything I found out to Dumbledore, who had formed a rebellion known as the Order of the Phoenix. Your mother was a member, along with many others we went to school with.' Severus explained.

'That night, I was away on an important mission. I had no way of knowing that Voldemort suspected that your mother was involved with the Order nor that he had figured out her importance. You see, your mother was exceptionally gifted with charms and had helped the Order evade the Death Eaters and protect our secrets for so long.'

'But you can appear and disappear with magic.' Harry recalled. 'Didn't you find out and come to save us?'

'I tried.' Severus exhaled heavily.

'But I heard of it too late, even though I had a terrible feeling that someone was happening. They had tortured your mother with a terrible and forbidden curse but she was too strong, she refused to tell them what they wanted to know.' He choked back sobs and forced himself to remain relatively composed.

Harry stared at his father and inched closer on the mattress. He reached across and placed his smaller hand over his father's to offer comfort.

'Then did you save us?' He wondered.

'I showed up just as Dumbledore completed his genius plan to rid the world of Voldemort. I don't know the finer details, only that when I arrived the aurors had also made an appearance and the Death Eaters had been captured.' Severus said and his hair curtained his face to conceal his haunted expression.

'You mother...Lily, she was lying on the floor.' He gasped. 'And you were crying in your crib. The aurors rushed both of you to St. Mungos and it was there that I was told that her mind had been lost due to the strain of the curse being used repetitively and for longer than it should.' He shook his head. 'I didn't know what to do, I was...I was scared.' He admitted to his son.

'And I had you. The healers said you were sick and somehow your magic had been drained. They observed you for two weeks and than by a miracle, you get better but it was assumed that your magic was gone.'

'Is that why you didn't want me anymore?' Harry sniffed.

Severus turned to face him and cupped the boy's face with his hands. 'Harry, not even for a moment did I ever not want you. You are my son, magic or not...I won't stop loving you.' He frowned.

'But for six months, there was no change in your mother and I was advised to not let you near her. I feared you would grow up praying for your mothers health while being robbed of even being permitted near her. I wasn't hoping either and I was certain that the overall situation was not doing you any good.'

'So you just...got rid of me?' Harry frowned. 'It had only been a few months! Mum might've got better.'

'It was a decision I made based on the situation and with your future in mind.' Severus turned away again. 'Harry, it's not something I expected you to understand. I promised to tell you, but how you take it is entirely dependable on you.' He sighed again.

'You will be better off if you're raised in a better household with those who aren't attached to a doomed fate, who don't spend everyday dwelling on mistakes and fighting for a lost battle.'

'You're still sending me back to the orphanage, aren't you?' Harry's eyes welled up again. 'I want to be with you, dad.'

Severus glanced quickly at him when the boy called him that but forced himself to remain the stronger one.

'No. I can't allow it. In four days you will go back and move on with your life. Perhaps after you've grown up I can be in your life but for now this is what's best for you.'

'Well that's rubbish.' Harry scowled as his tears fell. He scowled and rolled over to face away from his father and crossed his arms.

'I'll just keeping running away and coming back here.' He decided stubbornly.

'You shall do no such thing.' Severus growled. 'You were lucky this time. This is not a place I am generally found at. The next time you show up...I won't be here.'

'You think I'm better but you're just ruining everything more.' Harry still refused to face him as his anger increased.

'I did not wish for you to come here.' Severus reminded him.

Harry was quiet for a long moment before he wiped his eyes and turned around to face his father, his eyes clouding with betrayal and sadness.

'Fine.' He said stiffly as he realized there was no way to win. 'If I have to go, I want to spend the four days with you and then see mum one last time. Promise?'

Severus smiled sadly at the boy's bravery and obedience. 'I promise.' He nodded and brushed some hair from Harry's face.

'But now you need to sleep or you'll be spending those days in bed.'

Harry nodded and rolled over again. He felt his father leave the room and the light was turned off. Once the silence fell over him, he buried his face into his pillow to muffle his sobs.

--

Severus stood outside the bedroom and closed his eyes. He could hear Harry making odd sounds in the room and was certain that he knew what the boy was doing.

He hadn't been very brief with his story though, for the boy's sake. He had left out the blood, the struggle and every other excruciating detail from finding Lily and Harry to placing the child on the doorstep of the orphanage. But Severus could not let this pain continue. He was determined that he could never escape so there was no reason for his son to become trapped as well when he could be leading a joyous childhood filled with everything he needed.

Everything but the one thing he wanted.

'Forgive me, Lily.' Severus muttered mournfully. as he turned and began his own preparations for bed.

Both Harry and Severus had a rough sleep that night, dreaming of Lily and dark orphanages.

When the sun shone into the house, Harry continued to sleep while Severus got up and dressed. He was careful not to disturb the boy although he was sure that he slept as heavily as his mother tended to when rest was needed. Severus was glad the boy hadn't inherited his inability to sleep for more than a few short hours whenever he was ill.

After deciding on breakfast, Severus approached one of the bookcases in the living room and sorted through them until he located a thick, leather-bound book with a photographs of himself, Lily and toddler Harry on the front.

Severus sighed with dread as he sank into an armchair and flipped through the book filled with both muggle and magical photographs. It had been a long time since he had even touched this book as it pained him to see Lily so bright and active when she wasn't like that anymore. And also to see little Harry so full of life and joy.

There were images of newborn Harry but Severus avoided them since they were taken at the hospital. He instead smiled shortly at the picture Lily had taken when Harry had been a few months old and had fallen asleep on Severus' stomach while he too slept. It had been a long and tiring day and yet Lily had somehow managed to get several photos without either of them noticing.

Next there were pictures of Harry's first birthday, with cake all over his face, in his hair and also smeared on his parents as they held him. Severus was trying to clear away the cake in the photo while Lily mercilessly laughed at him and Harry continued to shove chocolate into his already-full mouth.

There were some of Harry in the bath and many of the boy making a mess but Severus thought they were all quite the same, only the child grew as the photos progressed. He was going to miss those parts; watching his son learn new skills as he continued to grow into a boy and than a student at Hogwarts, a teenager and than an adult. He could always apply for a job at Hogwarts as a Potions Master but Severus didn't want to. He had told Harry they must part their ways for the boy's own good and he was going to stand by that, no matter how much it hurt him. He knew that with time, Harry would miss him less and less as he moved on with his own life and became as happy as he should be.

In years, Harry may even forget him and Lily, to the point of them just being a distant memory. Severus wanted his son to move on and live his life.

He snapped the book closed and returned it to the shelf. He had made his choice and there was no way to change it.

Severus was going to give Harry his promised four days and one last visit to Lily and then...it was time to let go.