1978. Before Harry's birth.

Severus ignored the thunder outside and the unnecessarily loud sound of his front door slamming as he kicked it closed and approached the fireplace. It had been two years at least since he had last heard from Lily and yet he had just received an owl that she would be floo-calling him at seven. He glanced over at a clock on the wall and noticed that it was indeed that time. Staring intently into the flames he had just conjured, he wasn't surprised that her face did not appear there. He half believed the letter was fake or that he had imagined it. Therefore, to prevent further disappointment, he refused to prepare for her call until it actually occurred.

The minutes ticked by silently as Severus settled into the armchair and bitterly noticed that she was already fifteen minutes late. He had no expectations and yet there he sat, waiting.

And when it was almost twenty-five past seven that Saturday evening, it happened. The flames flared and her fiery hair and gaze came into sight. It was obvious she no longer appeared as the fierce and determined lioness she once was. Instead, she was a tired and sad witch with all the obvious signs of having just been crying.

Severus stood and stared at her, jolted from seeing her again after so long and shocked to her expression that pulled strings at his heart.

'Sev, is that really you?' Lily asked, her voice steady and soft, but only through struggled control.

'It's me.' Severus nodded. 'What happened, Lily? Did Potter do this?' He scowled at the memory of her husband and his past school bully.

'In a way.' Lily sighed. 'Sorry I'm late. Will you come through?'

Severus nodded without thinking upon her request and waited for her to step back before he approached the fireplace and moved through it. He looked around at the house and noticed an odd mark or cracked picture frame, which made him further worried and curious.

'Lily?' He asked her when she appeared to be struggling with herself again.

'I know I haven't spoken to you in...too long.' Lily swallowed, preferring to stare at the floor rather than at his face. 'But I wasn't sure who else I could trust.' She exhaled and like the brave Gryffindor she was, Lily lifted her gaze to meet his.

He wished she hadn't.

'Last week, James and I divorced.' Lily explained. He wasn't sure how to feel about that. One side he was thrilled that Potter was out of her life, but the other saddened by the pain it had obviously caused her.

'I didn't feel as though...it just wasn't right.' Lily exhaled and sank into the sofa behind her as she continued to detail the situation to him. 'We hadn't been together long, but...I don't know, it was mostly just a feeling in my stomach that this wasn't going to work. He was far too immature and wasn't around very often.' She shook her head. 'And I think...I mean, we had an argument about you because I wanted to see if we could still be friends. But you know James, he hates you.'

'It's mutual, really.' Severus said, having no idea what else to do as he listened.

'Yes, well...we fought and he even accused me of loving you more than him.' Lily frowned. 'And I...hesitated.'

Severus swallowed with those words. He was not sure what they meant and tried to force away the once dimmed sensation of hope.

'I don't know why I did, but a part of me wondered...' Lily looked up at him again with the tiniest shadow of a smile. 'If you hadn't become so interested in the Dark Arts...would I feel differently? Would we be closer?'

'You...called me here to tell me that?' Severus wondered. 'I mean, I...just...wondering.' He sighed, feeling as though he had ruined the moment when his curiosity had leaped ahead.

'I called you because I need a friend.' Lily stood. 'And you always made me smile, even sometimes unintentionally.' She admitted. 'And I...missed you, Sev.'

Severus stood stunned as she approached him and hugged him around the middle, pressing her face and hair against his chest. He awkwardly hugged her briefly, feeling as though things were as they should be, even if he had just been chased by Death Eaters for refusing their support of Voldemort.

'I stopped that stuff.' Severus felt he should add. 'I refused the Mark...I'm not going to follow that path. I don't want to. It's already cost me too much.'

'I know.' Lily whispered with a hidden smile.

--

1980. Harry, five hours old.

Severus stood in the doorway of the room, staring at his sleeping fiancée with a small smile. He watched her until his gaze finally shifted to the small baby several feet away. Stepping into the room and being convinced that his nerves wouldn't have him running for the waiting room again, he continued to stare at the small boy.

'Hello.' Severus whispered, not wanting to wake Lily while he met their son for the first time, as she would surely embarrass him with how soft he was being.

The baby turned his gaze towards his father's voice and swung his clenched hand in his direction. Severus watched his son and examined his small, but strong features. The baby had a patch of very dark brown hair that could easily be black, which matched his dark eyes that shone up at him. Everything else, Severus was sure the boy had inherited entirely from Lily.

'Nice to meet you, son.' Severus lightly brushed his finger against the baby's little fist still swinging towards him.

'I want to name him Harry.' Lily spoke. Severus straighted quickly and was already halfway blushing at being caught. 'After Harold, my father.' She added while smiling at him.

'I approve.' Severus nodded and released an exhale of breath when she didn't mock him. He stepped closer to her and kissed her forehead slowly, looking down at her tired, happy face.

'Middle name: Severus.' Lily continued. 'Last name: Evans.'

'Evans?' Severus frowned and his gaze demanded an explanation.

'Only for now, love.' Lily smiled at him. 'I want it to be official when we marry. I just...seems right.'

Severus didn't complain. How could he with her perfect face staring at him and their perfect son falling asleep nearby?

-- 

1982. Harry, two years old.

Lara Sanders was on duty, as much as she hated sitting at a desk all night and checking records. She sighed and shifted through folders of details and what she considered that “boring but important paperwork” in which she was in charge of. That's not all she was in charge of, but this was her least favourite task of all.

Deciding to take a break, she stood and ventured out of her office and down the stairs where a bit of argument was going on between two of her employees, Jerry and Hannah.

'It's not proper!' Jerry was saying as he waved about papers with a frown.

'No, but what else can we do? This is an orphanage!' Hannah scowled back in all her determination to prove him wrong.

'What's going on?' Lara demanded to know. 'And hush this nonsense before you wake the children.'

'A man came to us, all distraught and strange-looking.' Hannah explained with a sigh. She brushed blonde hair from her eyes with one hand, as she stared back and forth between Lara's aging and short appearance and Jerry's tall and scruffy one.

'Really, he was dressed all in black - some sort of robe or whatever.' Jerry commented.

'Shush!' Hannah growled. 'Anyway, he handed us his son and a bunch of papers, saying he must go to a very loving foster home or anyplace where the child will be loved and properly cared for. She exhaled. 'We glanced at the boy and the papers for just a moment and he was...gone.'

'Gone?' Lara repeated.

'Gone.' Jerry nodded in confirmation. 'Disappeared into thin air.'

'How old is the boy?' Lara wondered, falling into her role as head of the Riverwave orphanage. 'What is his name?'

'He's two years old.' Hannah sighed sadly as Jerry flipped through the papers in his hands for a name.

'Harry Severus Evans.' He answered.

'Did you catch the name of the man?' Lara pressed, staring at the photo of an adorable and happy boy.

'Severus Snape.' Hannah recalled. 'That's all he said. His name and to find someone to love his son better than he could provide.'

'Well...' Lara sighed. 'It's true. We are an orphanage. However, I believe this may not be an option.' She stared at the papers now in her hands. 'The mother is Lily Evans, so see if she has any family.'

Hannah nodded and rushed to check while Jerry remained silent and Lara read some more of the boy's paperwork.

'She has a sister!' Hannah called over. 'Petunia Dursley nee Evans. Married to a Vernon Dursley and they have a small son.'

'Perfect.' Lara nodded in relief.

'I agree.' A voice spoke from the doorway and they turned to see a man who proceeded to introduce himself as Albus Dumbledore.

1990. Eight years later.

'Over here!' A boy called out and waved his arms, hoping to be passed the ball.

'No, over here, Harry!' A girl yelled.

Harry stood there and wondered who to pass it to. Instead, he decided to take a risk and ran towards the goal, but the kids of ages similar to his own ran up to him and tackled him to the ground, all laughing as they did so.

'Alright! I lose.' Harry chuckled and released the ball. He moved to the side in preparation to tackle those not on his team, if they tried to run for a goal.

'Children!' Hannah called out to them. 'It's time to come inside.'

Some groaned and others merely shrugged as they followed her back inside the orphanage and into their classroom. Harry sighed and sat at his desk, but his mind did not fall with Science, it shifted towards the past years of his life.

He remembered his parents very briefly. His mother was beautiful and had red hair as well as emerald green eyes, while his father dressed in black, had black hair and the same eyes as his own. He thought about them a lot, but it was often clouded by the nasty few years he spent growing up with his aunt, uncle, and bullying cousin. They made him sleep in a cupboard under the stairs, do chores all day, and they almost never fed him. It was horrible and Harry still had nightmares.

He recalled the day he finally fought back; he had only been seven-years-old and was tired of how much they hated him. He yelled and cried until he was sore all over, although Vernon's fists hadn't helped. The following day they had also had enough and Harry was taken on a two-hour drive to the Riverwave Orphanage. He has been there for three years...still unwanted and unloved.

'Harry Evans!' His teacher scowled and he nearly dropped his pencil in surprise. 'Are you listening?'

He said nothing and merely nodded. She knew he was lying because he wasn't entirely good at it, but she didn't punish him or quiz him so he wasn't too concerned with being caught daydreaming.

It wasn't the first time.

--

Class ended and Harry got to his feet, dragging them slightly as he left the classroom and ventured down the stairs. While the others laughed and grouped, he walked alone towards his bedroom, which he had shared with another boy until recently. That boy was two years younger than him and had been adopted yesterday. It had been then Harry had once again found himself hating where he lived and how no one seemed to want him at all.

Harry peeked behind himself to check no one else was around, then snuck into Lara Sander's office. He was sure he was going to be in so much trouble, but he didn't care. Sighing, he pulled open a filing cabinet (he thought she really ought to lock it, since the documents inside were so important), and trailed his finger along the “E's”. Harry spotted his name and pulled out the file, staring and searching for any detail that would satisfy him.

Hearing a noise, Harry gasped and clutched the files. He turned towards the door and winced when he saw Lara glaring down at him.

'And just exactly what are you doing, young man?' She scowled.

'Erm...' Harry swallowed and placed his files back where they belonged before he gathered his courage. 'I wanted to know if I have any family...besides my aunt, I mean.' He stared at the floor.

'Than perhaps you should have merely asked?' Lara shook her head.

Harry said nothing because he knew a lot of people lied to him about the important things, like how no one told him that not all families loved each other. They said he had just as much chance of being adopted at ten as others did at five, and they also told him he would never be left behind. All lies, and all hard lessons to learn.

'I know it can be hard, waiting to be adopted.' Lara sighed as she sat behind her desk. 'But maybe you simply haven't found the right family yet?'

Once again, Harry remained silent as he kept his thoughts to himself.

'If you...' Lara trailed off and exhaled as a man appeared at the doorway. She excused herself for a moment.

Harry inched closer to the doorway and eavesdropped on the conversation, although he could only catch parts of it.

'He's in my office right now, actually.' Lara said.

'Harry Evans?' The man asked. 'The boy whose father dropped him off when he was two and begged you to find him a loving home?' He sighed. 'You sent him to his aunt's...'

Harry tried to press closer against the door, but a thought occurred to him about the age he had been sent here. Two? No, he had been seven! Frowning, he turned towards the file again and flipped through it desperately.

'Yes, I'm afraid it may be time to send him to a foster home. For a little while, at least.'

Lara's words caught his ears and Harry straightened quickly while clutching the files to his chest. Send him away? No! He wanted to be adopted and loved by someone who had chosen him, not sent someplace temporary where he was a complete stranger again. And besides, he now knew...he did have a family.

Harry slowly pushed open the door. Since both their backs were turned many feet away, he ducked out of sight around a corner and waited until he was up a flight of stairs. He broke into a run while still clutching the files to his chest.

Fearful of being caught, Harry grabbed an old bag and some new clothes as he started to pack. He loaded in the files, clothes, books, and several other things (he was now glad he didn't own very many possessions), into his backpack. He strapped it over his shoulders before he pulled up the hood on his light jacket and checked the hallway. Seeing it was clear, Harry rushed down the stairs and snuck into the main lobby. Hannah was on the phone and didn't notice him as he slipped out of the tall building and into the streets.

Staring around for a short moment, Harry looked over at the setting sun and took off at a run. He wasn't going to stop until his muscles gave out. And only when he finally collapsed to a halt in an unfamiliar place, whilst being surrounded by darkness, only then would he come to realize that he had no idea where his father lived.

Harry knew it was dark, he was well aware of that fact, and he didn't know where he was although with his speed he was sure that he was quite a distance from the orphanage by now. And with that sudden realization, his paces slowed and he skidded to a halt on the side of the road, bending to catch his breath as though the air had suddenly been punched from his lungs. He gasped and choked while his throat felt sore and his chest throbbed. Squeezing his eyes shut, Harry waited until he could breath again before he straightened and glanced around.

A sudden chill, that had nothing to do with the night air, filled inside him as his focus fell onto the deep shadows, empty surrounding, eerie sounds, concealed house windows and boarded closed stores. Harry stood there, unable to move or think straight; he was alone, lost and no doubt unprotected.

Even as fear gripped him, Harry found the strength to moved quickly and spotted a torn fence that led to an old park. Exhaling, he dashed through the peeled back wire and moved towards the park seats. He slumped into siting position and bit his lip nervously as he expected something horrible to leap out of the bushes and attack him.

As minutes passed, the fear calmed only a little as he tried to think of something else, such as how he wanted to find his father and that those that the orphanage could surely never find him and take him away now. He suddenly felt unbearably thirsty and his stomach urged in complaint while his skin prickled with the cold. Pulling his hood over his head, Harry rubbed his arms in attempt to warm them; the cold was the only aspect he could modify right now.

--

He wasn't really sure how long he sat there, but he felt worst with each passing moment on that slightly damp and equally cold park bench. He gazed towards a house in the distance, seeing the lights on but curtains drawn across the windows, just like each of the other houses. It made him further worried that he wasn't as safe as he was trying to convince himself to be.

'Are you alright there, kid?' A gruff voice suddenly asked and Harry jumped up to stare at the slightly hunched man standing behind the seat.

'Arghh!' Harry yelled in alarm and fear. His eyes widened and he didn't think twice before he turned and ran, back through the wire and along the street he had been heading for before he'd stopped to breathe. As his feet carried him far and fast once again, his mind slowly recovered and his mind flashed with the image of the man that had startled him. He slowly down and soon came to a stop when he realized that he was likely to be a homeless man and perhaps genuinely worried about him being out by himself.

Grumbling at his stupidity, Harry looked around and wondered where to go now as he had already forgotten the way to the park; that was how he fled, just running along any odd street and turning any random corner without an ounce of consideration of an overall destination. Where he wanted to go was to the place where his father lived...and he didn't have even the slightest clue where that was.

Harry noticed something different about this area that wasn't present for where he had been near the park; the sounds. Before it had been unnaturally quiet apart from the wind and squeaking swings, but how he could hear distant shouting and the cars; their tyres against ground, beeping horns, skidding stops, increased speed and even various hints of music drifting from open windows. Somehow, this only frightened him further.

Harry stood still where he had stopped in front of a Chinese restaurant and contemplated what to do and where to go. He jumped when a loud sound came from a nearby alley but quickly realized it was just the slamming of a trashcan lid, followed by dragged footsteps and the closing of a shop door. There was a dog barking in the distance and countless cars drove past him. Harry rubbed his arms again and his eyes darted around, desperately searching for a place of refuge in which he could remain safely within until morning. He could not see such a place at all.

'Hey, get out of here!' The door of the Chinese restaurant had opened an a balding man with a apron scowled and waved a hand at him, looking firm but also suspicious. 'Ain't got nothing for you to steal, punk!'

'No! I wasn't...' Harry gasped at the assumption and even lowered his hood to prove it but the man had already disappeared back inside. He peered into the window and saw happy people looking warm while eating their meals and sipping drinks. Feeling a pang of misery, Harry slowly ordered his feet to walk while pulling his hood about his face. He shoved his hands into his pockets and kept a watchful eye on the streets and roads while not being able to ignore the temptation to glance into the windows of each store he passed.

He wondered where he was but apart from street signs and an occasional double-decker bus, he received no solid indicators. Where would his father live? Harry frowned, because he knew nothing about his father at all apart from his name; Severus Snape. He smiled lightly at that, taking the small comfort he could receive. His middle name was Severus, so whoever his father was he must have loved him enough to give him his own name as his son's middle name. But what about his surname, Evans...why not Snape?

Sighing his warm breath into the cold night air, Harry continued to walk until his legs were sore and his throat felt injured. Slumping against a wall, Harry considered his options; ideas such as calling the police and asking a store person for help flitted through his mind but he shook them away with determination.

In the end, he literally crawled into an alley that stopped halfway along without reaching the other side due to a blockage/wall created by large bins and many boxes. He curled defensively behind a huge bin and several piles of the boxes while using his backpack as a pillow and pulled several folded cardboard boxes over himself to serve as a blanket. Shivering and hurting in more places than he cared to count, Harry squeezed his eyes tight and tried to force everything out so he could at least get a little rest while he waited desperately for the arrival of daylight.

As his eyes closed, his mind shifted between sleep and awareness of his suffering mixed with fears, producing not a dream nor nightmare but instead, a memory...

--

'And you bloody stay in there you freaky runt!' Uncle Vernon bellowed with a purpled face while shoving Harry by his collar into the cupboard under the stairs. The door shut, vent closed and locked clicked into place. Seven-year-old Harry scurried onto his bed and sniffled further, curling his arms around his legs as he tried not to cry. Was it really so terrible to ask for more food and yell at his cousin for hurting him?

He had sat there for over an hour, his stomach grumbling the entire time, until the door swung open and his aunt stood there. He was shocked, not because he had expected his uncle but because she didn't look cross with him.

'Gather your things.' She told him in a reserved but otherwise content tone. 'All of it.'

'Yes, Aunt Petunia.' Harry complied and quickly packed his little belongings, wondering what was going on and if they were going to punish him by destroying or tossing his things. With that thought, he shoved a toy horse into his pocket in attempt to save it.

Once done, he stepped out and became further nervous as his aunt and cousin waited by the door.

'Hurry up!' She hissed and he quickened his pace to follow them outside to the car. Enlightened softly with the prospect of going somewhere with them but still cautious, he kept his pace normal and expression calm while moving to get into the backseat but Petunia stopped him.

'No, you are to ride in the front.' She said.

At the time he had been so shocked and thrilled, more so when Dudley said nothing and merely got into the back with a smug look. He didn't realize until later that this was his aunt's final way of being nice and Dudley's enjoyment to what was coming.

He sat and did up the seatbelt while sitting perfectly upright and staring straight ahead. He didn't know where his uncle had gone and he had no clue where they were going, but decided that silence was best.

An hour had passed and still they drove and it had started to rain. Harry glance nervously at his aunt and out the window (he could make out shapes although they were slightly blurred by the falling water), every few minutes, now very nervous and a bit fearful as to their destination. But not once did he dare ask. Perhaps he should have.

Riverwave orphanage had looked so much darker that day, even as the rainclouds had drifted away. Harry knew what was going on the second his aunt turned the steering wheel to direct the car towards the looming building.

'Out.' She instructed after parking and Harry did as he was told. Dudley was practically laughing with glee by this point.

'Good morning, how may we help you?' The lady in the lobby asked while Harry glanced around and clutched his things closer to his chest.

'I had this boy, my nephew, cast rudely upon me since he was a baby and his care is becoming too much.' Petunia began what was to be a long conversation and declaration of arrangements. Harry didn't pay any of her words nor the forms much attention because he was too busy noticing several other boys laughing and running up several stairs together. He spotted a couple leaving with a girl about his age, she was smiling and they spoke to her in loving tones while smiling happily. And then the orphanage no longer seemed to dark and constricting...in fact, it was like a breath of fresh air in which smelt of happier possibilities. Too bad it didn't last as long as he'd have liked it to.

--

And while Harry fretfully slumbered in the back of an unclean alley, shivering with cold and aching with hunger, his father Severus Snape was finishing a batch of headache potions and preparing to proceed upstairs to his awaiting bed.

The man was unaware that his son was miles away, suffering and longing for the father he desperately needed...now more than ever.

Harry rubbed his eyes and yawned, feeling a tiny bet rested even if he had woken at least six times in the past five hours due to police sirens, drunks across the street, fighting cats or screeching cars followed by slamming doors or someone dumping trash into a nearby bin and slamming the lid closed.

His stomach was slightly more dull but his throat ached worst than before, something he was instantly aware of as he stood and dusted himself off. Grabbing his bag and strapping it over his shoulders, Harry rubbed a hand through his hair and proceeded to step out of the alley and peer around at the streets that looked vastly different to several hours ago. It was now early morning as the sun had only recently began to rise. The streets were busier and there were more people around. But with the light came a stronger reassurance and the danger ebbed away considerably as Harry turned and continued to stroll down random streets and around any odd corner.

--

After almost an hour of aimless wandering, Harry slowed and sat at a bus stop to catch his breath. His hunger and sore throat were becoming too much and he was losing his will to continue onwards.

With each passing minute he filled with regret and considered his overall plan to be idiotic. How could he find a place he knew nothing of? He lowered his head and his heart leaped with a jolt as he spotted something caught underneath a crack. Bending down eagerly, he pulled the $20 note free and stared at it in disbelief. Sparing not a moment, he looked for the nearest store to relieve his hunger and thirst.

Severus continued to read the Daily Prophet with little interest while thinking upon which potions he had left to brew and which ones he simply felt like brewing. He paused and lowered the paper as he felt an odd tug in his chest and head. It was indescribable, other than it simply felt weird or as though something magical was trying to link to his own magic.

Standing and drawing his wand, Severus tried to assess the sensation or determine its threat, but seconds passed and the feeling faded. It was replaced by a sense of deep concern, not for what he had felt but for something unknown. Severus felt as though he should be worried about something or someone but had no clue what or who. He had never experienced such a sensation before; it was blood deep.

--

Harry sighed contently, having spent his money on food, a drink and a wool hat as well as a pair of gloves. Everything was right again. Except for his mildly aching legs and even worst sense of destination. Harry felt an odd pull and turned towards a street further right, wondering why he suddenly felt as though that was where he had to go. Shrugging and with nowhere else to aim for, he did exactly that; crossing the road to walk along that particular street; at closer glimpse it was really no different than the other streets around him. But nonetheless, Harry felt, for the first time since running away, that he was going somewhere not quite so aimless.

Feeling content with his small meal and juice resting in his stomach as well as the warmth elevating from his new clothes, Harry continued to wander the street and then took a left turn. All whilst walking, he thought upon the man he was searching for, his father. He only knew a few things about Severus Snape and yet he already felt a sense of something towards him, love perhaps? But Harry could not remember being loved; not by his relatives nor by anyone at the orphanage (if he'd been adopted, maybe he would have), and yet he was sure that even though he had never received it himself, that is it was indeed love in which he felt for his unknown father. But he had received it once, hadn't he? Surely at some point in the first two years of his life his parents had loved him? If that was the case, why was he left at the orphanage?

Curious and a bit sad, Harry stopped halfway along a residential street and sat on the gutter at the side of the road to pull out the folder of files he had stolen from Lara's desk. He flipped through them, paying attention to only a few select pieces of paper.

First he checked his birth certificate; seeing his name, “Harry Severus Evans” printed there along with his birthday, 'July 31st, 1980”. His gaze fell to his father's name, “Severus Tobias Snape” and his mother's “Lily Anne Evans”. He smiled as he traced the lettering of her name, having never known it before. He wondered where she was and if she was okay without him, since he recalled that his father had dropped him off but there were no reports of seeing his mother.

Harry sighed as a recollection came to him; his aunt had said some nasty things about her, he thought it was because she was “freaky” and able to do things normal people couldn't, something he was sure he was able to do as well and wondered if his father was the same. He shoved those concerns away, having long ago learned not to listen to his aunt and uncle's lies. He always seemed to know when someone was lying, further making him less trusting towards others.

There were several medical files, which he chose to ignore, and various report letters about how he was coping, incidences in which he had been involved in and various other things he made a mental note to read over later.

As Harry shifted through the files, wondering if it was normal for there to be so many, he noticed a handwritten letter slip to the ground and he hastily snatched it up to read. His heart sank and rose with odd limbo as he eyed the scrap of parchment and swallowed a lump he hadn't been aware of.

-

December, 1987.

Lara Sanders,

Thank you for all of your assistance. I have followed up on the report of Harry Evan's living situation. I was just as displeased after his medical reports came back and his behaviour strongly suggest that you made a grave error in sending the boy to them, although I am just as guilty since I arranged the paperwork. Perhaps if they had been prepared beforehand things might have been better? Well, we can't dwell on that now.

I have enclosed my findings on the boy's family, although I have called often, no one ever seemed to be home and residences state that they almost never seen the man who lives there. His reputation does not seem to be very promising, perhaps it would be wise to not further this matter? We do not want a repeat of the Dursleys. The boy would be better off being adopted, he is only seven, surely his chances are quite high?

Please keep in contact over this matter, although I strongly believe we let it rest. He placed the boy with you at the tender age of two, surely that must stand for something?

My sympathies to your niece, I am sad to hear that she is ill, please let me know if there is anything I can do.

Your friend and business partner,

Judith Jane

-

Harry stared at the piece of paper and couldn't believe it. They had made contact with his father several months after he had been placed with them! Why had they given up? Did they really believe that he wouldn't want him? “He placed the boy with you at the tender age of two, surely that must stand for something?”, Harry scowled and turned the page over, his heart thumping roughly inside his ribcage as he touched the note Lara had scribbled there, no doubt from whatever pile of forms that had come with the letter;

Severus Snape lives in the last house at Spinner's End. Near the river.

Harry gasped and clutched the paper tighter, realizing that he had the directions in his bag the entire time and yet he had been running around aimlessly.

'Stupid.' Harry scowled at himself and shoved the files back into his bag. He sighed and stood upright, turning to look around the street and wonder how far away Spinner's End is; not that he really cared for distance as he had traveled far enough already, it was more about his fear of spending another night in a darkened alley, unprotected and freezing.

Harry heard a sound and looked across the road where two boys of different ages were mucking around and laughing while a wife greeted her husband who had apparent just came home from work. He longed for that; a family of his own.

He ducked his head and shoved his hands into his pockets as he wandered along the street and now paid closer attention to the street signs although he was sure that he was nowhere near a river.

--

Twenty minutes of walking brought Harry back into the midst of traffic and civilization; he felt very lost. Something landed on his shoulder and caused him to shiver, he looked upwards to the midday sky and saw that it was starting to snow; this was not a good sign. But it was late November and Christmas was only weeks away, not that it mattered to him anyway.

'Oof!' He winced as someone ran into his back and nearly shoved him over. He scowled at the teenage boy but he hadn't even glanced over his shoulder. Shaking his head, Harry turned and spotted his first sign of luck since he'd discovered the $20 note under the bus stop seat. It was a store whose name he couldn't quite make out with the peeling paint and beginnings of a snow downpour. He rushed towards it, keeping his hood up as he entered the store that was stocked with books, newspapers and various other reading material. What had caught his attention had been in the display window; a sale on local town maps.

'May I have one of those, please?' Harry pointed it out, relieved that he still have a few dollars to spare.

'Sure kid.' The man behind the counter retrieved one and handed it over in exchange for the money.

'And a soda too please.' He pointed one out while grabbing a small candy bar. The man nodded and Harry felt a bit anxious that he was one again without money, but nonetheless...he now had directions to follow.

He clutched the book and turned to leave but paused and glanced at the man uncertainly for a moment.

'What? Need something else?' He asked, not looking too bothered since he didn't appear to have a busy day nor suspect that he was going to steal something like the Chinese man had.

'Um, could you point out where we are, on this map?' Harry asked awkwardly while holding up his book. 'I'm a little bit lost.' He added, hoping this man wasn't one to take action on the matter and would merely oblige his request.

'Sure.' He shrugged and opened the book. 'We're here.' He pointed.

'Thanks!' Harry grinned and turned to leave before the man could say much else or consider the matter; or worst, ask questions.

Harry stared down at the spot; he was in London and Spinner's End was marked by a river not quite far from where he was. He had heard other kids saying once that if something really wonderful happened then it was as though Christmas had come early. Well, Harry had never been one to enjoy Christmas since he'd never had great experiences there, and yet that is how he felt once he realized that his father was a mere few hours away.

'Hang on dad, I'm coming.' Harry whispered as he crossed the street, clutching his book like a lifeline while sipping his soda and stuffing the candy bar into his pocket.

The snow was still falling, making him colder but no less determined than an hour ago. His soda was gone and his candy consumed, yet still Harry walked on. He had the strongest motivation to reach that house at Spinner's End where he would be reunited with his father, and no amount of increasing snow was going to stop him.

'In a few hours and I'll be home.' He said confidently, so sure that regardless of their past, his father wasn't going to turn him away again. But for the first time since forming his plan; Harry began to feel quite nervous about his desire to see his father again.

Harry yawned as he glanced around and crossed another street. He had placed his book in his bag because his memory was showing him a clear enough picture of where he had to go without him constantly staring at the page. He frowned when a blue car drove through a red light but shrugged and continued to walk onwards, not stopping for anything. When he pondered on it, his journey was quite cold and scary, but otherwise rather uneventful. Now that he thought about it, he realized how much danger he could have been in during his time out in the dark and resting in an old alley. Someone could have mugged him, kidnapped him or worst. Not that he had been thinking about it at the time but now allowing his mind to wander only made him further determined to reach his destination before dark. Although, some had other plans.

'Hey!' A voice called out and Harry kept walking until he realized that the older teenage boys were calling out to him. They were across the street and looked exactly like the trouble that the Chinese man must have been expecting. Harry tried to ignore them and just quickened his pace.

'Where you going, kid?' A dark-haired boy appeared in front of him with a smug smirk.

'Yeah, what's the rush?' Another asked with chuckle.

'Leave me alone.' Harry told them. He clutched the strap of his bag as he eyed the four much taller and meaner boys that surrounded him.

'You got any money, kid?' One asked and Harry lost track of who was talking to him while his mind rushed with fear and feeble escape plans.

'Hand it over!'

'I don't have any money!' Harry insisted, mostly because it was entirely true. 'I-I just want to go home.'

'Awe, did you hear that?' One mocked while the others laughed. 'He wants to go home!' The boy joined in while another shoved Harry.

'What's wrong? Did your mummy and daddy kick you out? Guess they don't love you no more!' More laughter ensued but Harry's fear quickly turned into anger and all rational thoughts involving how slim his chances of winning a fight with them faded.

'Just give us your money.' One threatened and the laughter died down. 'Don't make us mad, kid.'

'Yeah, you may get home yet. Just give it to us.'

'I told you.' Harry frowned but his voice was still a little shaky. 'I don't have any money!'

'Well what else you got in your bag, huh?' A redheaded teen grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled Harry towards him.

Harry flinched and stared fearfully at the boy that had grabbed him. He felt two others snatching at his bag and tried to squirm or kick but they were gaining on him. Fear not only for his life but for his book of directions swelled and Harry shoved at the one who had him. To his shock, there was a loud bang and the boy flew several feet away.

Harry thudded to the ground on his hands and knees. He gasped and looked around quickly, seeing all four teens were scattered on the ground around him.

'What the?' One asked. He sounded a little drunk and disoriented.

'The little freak!' One screamed angrily, although he didn't seem quite sure enough to approach Harry again.

Fearfully, Harry forced himself upright and took off at the run in the direction of the street across from him; Harry didn't dare to look back as he charged ahead.

'Yeah, you better run. You freak!' He heard their echoed voices and tried to fight back the tears as he continued to run and put distance between him and his would-be attackers.

'I'm not a freak. I'm not!' Harry sobbed as he turned another corner and skidded to a halt inside an alley. He ducked behind a large dustbin just as he had the night before. Harry pulled out his book and checked where he had to go as he tried to force back memories.

--

'You freak! What did I tell you about doing that in our house?' Uncle Vernon raged as he grabbed Harry by his collar and shoved him into the cupboard under the stairs.

'You'll have no supper tonight for that! Think you can get Dudley in trouble like that, did you? That'll teach you not to be so freaky!'

--

Harry trailed his finger along the page of the book and glanced towards the end of the alley in case the boys had followed him, while he also kept an eye out for a street sign. Spotting one and barely being able to read it, Harry checked his directions and tore out the page. He shoved it into his pocket in case someone did manage to steal his book or the entire bag.

He got to his feet and tried to ignore the small throb of his knees and palms from hitting the road so fast. Harry turned and quickly checked the area before he continued with his journey.

He wondered what his father would have done; maybe he'd be able to fight them off or else he would have money to give them and make them go away with? If his father had been there, he'd have protected Harry, right? Confident that Severus would have, Harry urged onwards. He tensed when he heard a sound but it was merely another car driving along the road a street or two away. He swallowed when he realized that those who had attacked him would be old enough to drive a car. He forced it from his mind and quickened his pace, which was difficult with the snow in various places and his anxiety mingled with the fear of being followed and attacked.

After an hour had passed by, Harry had calmed down, although his hunger and thirst was making itself known again, along with his exhaustion. Not wanting to repeat the previous night, Harry constantly pushed himself forward until he turned a corner and an most glorious sight reach him. Although it wasn't quite what he had been looking for...it was a start. The river. And after checking his map, Harry knew it was only a matter of direction and observation that kept him from the exact location in which he was trying to find.

Harry turned left and was fully alert as he walked by the houses. He constantly glanced at the section of the river that he could see, filled with relief each time he made sure it was actually there and not a figment of his fantasy.

Harry was consumed with such hope and relief, but it too began to feel less promising as the houses continued and there were no further signs. His legs were sore and the snow was making it a constant struggle to even walk; there seemed to be more snow in this part of London than the rest he had seen so far.

Spotting a park, Harry walked towards it and sat on a swing. He felt instant contentedness to having found the right area before dark and also to be able to rest his legs for a moment. He swung the swing lightly, thinking about how he was going to finally see his father and the house he lived in, to have a chance at his own home and family. Harry refused doubt an opportunity to form and merely raised higher into the air. He felt almost like he was flying as he moved backwards and forwards and wondered if he leaped than would he reach the sky?

Smiling, Harry jumped free from the seat and held out his arms. He was not stupid; he had expected a quick landing, but instead it seemed to take a little longer and almost as though he was gliding instead of falling. Although when his feet touched ground again, his nervousness and urgency hit him as well.

As he turned towards the road again, Harry hoisted his bag higher and returned to the path set out before him, borne from his desire and the directions indicated on his map as well as the odd tug of confidence he felt every once and again. As though somehow inside himself, Harry knew he was going the right way.

His shoes kicked at the snow as Harry continued to walk. He looked around at the houses with interest and wondered which one belonged to the man he was sure he loved not just on principal but because even with distance, they still had some kind of bond.

Every thought and feeling came to a crashing halt when his eyes caught sight of something most startling. There was a street sign, one he would have missed had he not looked at it the exact moment a headlight from the distance drifted over its surface. It was now painfully plain to Harry and everything up until that moment was meaningless as he read it; Spinner's End. He was here. Harry had found the place where his father lived. There was no number of the house for his address, but nor did it matter. He knew it was the one at the end, the house in which was a home to his father and could very well be his new home as well. But something was wrong...these houses did not look inviting nor cared for, they were dark and somewhat creepy. It was nothing like he had imagined at all. Perhaps this was the wrong Spinner's End? Maybe Lara and Judith had the address mixed up? There was only one way to find out.

Surging with newfound motivation, Harry ran along the empty road while the sun began to set, casting golden lights everywhere, making some places majestic while others became further unfriendly. This is what Judith had been talking about. Although, she had also stated that no one had answered the phone and the man known as Severus Snape was almost never seen. Harry slowed his pace with these recollections and fear seized him once again. His gaze darted around at the apartments and houses, the dark brick and even darker alleyways. He peered at the curtained windows and surely locked doors; concerned that his father should be behind one of them but may not be.

Reaching the end of the street seemed to take longer than his many hours of searching had. The snow was a little thinner and yet he felt colder with every step. Harry swallowed and looked at the door of the last house; it was no different. All the windows concealed the interiors, the door stood firm and uninviting, and the brick was as dull as the others. At the same time, Harry grinned and rushed forward, stepping as close to the door as he could, convinced that the man he loved and who would care for him was just on the other side. Severus would open the door and smile because he would be thrilled to have his son home again. Yes, that's what would happen.

Harry raised his hand to knock as loudly and yet firmly as he could, grinning as his mind swam with the possibilities and sense of being home at last after many years of absence. Inside would be warm and much more wonderful than the outside, of course. He would have his own room, his own bed and a place to call his. His father would be sorry for leaving him, maybe he had forgotten where Harry had been and wanted to bring him back but couldn't? Maybe his father would tell him stories about his mother while telling him how much he loved him as he pulled Harry into a heartfelt embrace.

Frowning, Harry knocked again, standing on his toes as though there was a window on the door in which he could peer into and see his father, even though there was actually nothing but more wood.

Silence. Convinced he was upstairs or busy, or maybe listening to TV (despite the eerie whisper of the wind around him being the only sound), Harry knocked again with longer and harder pounds.

There was no sound. No placing of a cup against a table, no lowering of a increased volume, no footsteps on stairs or floor, no flutter of the curtains or a voice promising to answer the door...nothing.

Harry swallowed again and checked his map, convinced although discouraged, that he had the right house. He looked around for a doorbell or something useful but found nothing. He tapped on the window but still received no response. Sighing, Harry knocked once more but the silence was cutting and his mood fell like a rotten orange colliding with pavement.

As he turned slowly and lowered his head, Harry tried to fight back anything horrible that threatened to consume him and snatch away everything he had been so sure he'd receive; the love, the sense of having a real home and a family to call his own.

Harry choked on a sob and rubbed his eyes furiously as he dragged out each step away from the house and his mind buzzed with what he was supposed to do now. Wait? Go back to the orphanage and allow fate to take him away? What else was there to do?

With a gush, the door behind him swung open on its hinges and Harry spun around in alarm to stare wide-eyed at a man in dark clothes and with dark hair along with brown eyes to match his own. Unable to speak or even breathe, Harry stared at his father, who had looked suspicious for a moment but now appeared rather horrified as he stared back at him.

For a moment, no one spoke and than as though something had to be said, Harry cleared his throat and forced himself to function as he stepped closer.

'H-Hello.' He gasped out and looked up at his father, seeing familiar features and also strange ones. This was Severus Snape, his father, he was certain of it; brief memories of the man sparked the certainty of that assumption.

'I'm Harry Severus Evans.' He said boldly and whilst he sounded confident enough, his insides were liquid and his mind was a little fuzzy; his mouth seemed to be all that responded normally at this moment.

'Are you my father?' Harry asked that question he so desperately wanted an answer to. He shifted on his feet for a moment and shoved his hands into his pockets as he stared at the man, not daring to look away. He was yet to answer, but after so many years of longing...Harry felt he had all the time in the world to wait.

Closing the newspaper, he paused and heard the unmistakable sound of someone knocking on his door. It wasn't thundering, yet still rather loud, surely made by someone smaller or with weak hands.

He let the newspaper bend and listened as another, somewhat more desperate knock followed. Severus pulled out his wand and hovered the paper over to the table near the kitchen and rose without making a single sound. All his skills and talent were going to waste with a single, curious knock at his door; not a spying mission or ascend into danger, merely an unexpected visitor. Severus frowned since he knew the person on the other side of the door may wish him harm, and what did he care for danger? He'd had enough of it already and he had been sorted into Slytherin, not Gryffindor.

There was a tap at the window next in which was not quite the right sound to be an owl delivering mail. Another knock at the door and Severus decided he may as well answer it and scowl at the person to leave him in peace. His life was not particularly eventful since he had decided to stop teaching for a while (his last term being the previews June). He spent most of his time visiting patients at St Mungo's, seeing his godson Draco Malfoy or else brewing potions of interest and experimenting with them.

Eager to silence the irritating knocking, Severus pulled open the door to reveal a boy in everyday clothes but with a warm hat on his head and gloves on his hands. Oh fancy that, it had been snowing...wonderful, Severus thought bitterly.

The boy turned around as though startled and stared at him. Severus gasped and stared at the child who looked far too familiar and his heart clenched painfully as he thought of his son.

The boy stepped closer and seemed ready to brave speech whereas Severus made no effort to either speak, move or else react in any way other than to simply stare at the child.

'H-hello.' The boy gasped out and still stared at him with matching eyes. It was then that he delivered the words in which stabbed at Severus like poisoned ice picks.

'I'm Harry Severus Evans.' He said and a moment passed before he spoke again. 'Are you my father?'

To Harry, the moment continued with silence, but to Severus, he heard everything; the question ringing in his ears, the thumping of his own heart, the soft breaths of wind around them, and the cries of a baby from his distant memory.

And all at once, everything gathered and his rational mind kicked in; his pain was shoved aside and back into the memories of his past where they belonged.

'You are Severus Snape, are you not?' Harry asked formally and anxiously bit his lip.

'I am.' Severus answered. He narrowed his eyes and ignored the relief that showed upon the boy's face with his simple response.

'Then you are my father.'

'In a matter of biologically speaking.' Severus frowned. 'Why are you here?'

'I...' Harry was a bit taken aback with the question but answered it the best he could. 'I wanted to find you. I know it's been a long time since you...since you left me at the orphanage, but surely things have changed now? We're family, right?'

Severus glanced around the street and noticed how empty it was. 'How did you get here?' He asked.

'I walked.' Harry said with a sigh. His hopes felt more crushed with the passing minutes.

'Where are your parents?' Severus asked firmly.

'Huh?' Harry frowned in surprise. 'My...? You're my father! I never got adopted or anything. I came from the orphanage because they wanted to send me away.'

'So you disobeyed their instructions and ran away?' Severus raised an eyebrow. He could not believe the boy since the orphanage was quite a distance away and it would have taken him at least three days straight to walk here.

'Are you under a misguided illusion that I would excuse your behaviour and rescue you from the consequences?'

'No!' Harry frowned with a sniff of sadness. 'I don't want to go to some stupid foster home or back to my aunt, not that she would want me anyway...I want to be with my real father!' He pleaded. 'I thought if I found you...you'd remember that you love me and...and maybe I could stay?'

'You thought wrong.' Severus answered. 'When I bestowed you upon them nine years ago, it was my request that you be placed into a caring household. You are a child; it is not your decision nor your right to decide your location of residence.'

Harry hug his head miserably and glanced towards the end of the street where the darkening sky was in clear sight along with the fading sun.

'Can I...can I just stay here until morning?' Harry asked sadly. 'I don't want to go back in the dark. Last night I had to sleep in an alley and it was really scary.'

Severus softened at those words and realized that the boy was indeed serious; he had come all this way just to find him.

'You may.' Severus answered and stepped aside so that the boy could come inside. Harry did so eagerly and rushed past him; he stared contently at the fireplace for a moment before he looked around the house with an expression of longing.

Severus shut the door and watched his son move towards the fireplace to get warm, looking a little pained but otherwise mentally exhausted. Harry glanced curiously at the moving front page of the Daily Prophet and just sat on the ground; he had seemingly forgotten about his father for a moment.

The shock began to fade and the pain became manageable. Finally Severus could make more sense of the situation and moved to glance down at the boy who looked up at him in return.

'You state that you had never been adopted?' Severus asked although he knew he had heard correctly. 'You have remained at the orphanage all this time?'

'No.' Harry shook his head. 'I stayed with my aunt, Petunia Dursley, for a while. But they got sick of my freakishness and sent me back. I was seven. I've been ay the orphanage for about three years but as usual, no one wants me.' He sighed and lowered his head while he rubbed his nose with the back of his hand.

'Freakishness?' Severus asked and his tone rose as he frowned. 'And they sent you to the Dursleys?' He scowled and moved to sink into his armchair.

'It seems that the fools at the orphanage are as incompetent as I had suspected.' Severus sighed.

'Why did you send me away?' Harry asked bravely and felt every bit hurt by the situation now. 'Don't you want me? Did I do something wrong?'

Severus looked at Harry as though the words stunned him and suddenly he appeared to be rather saddened as well.

'It was not a decision I wished to make.' Severus explained briefly as he stood upright. 'Nor do I regret it. You may spend the night here and I shall return you to the orphanage tomorrow morning, however do no indulge in ridiculous questions because I have no intention of answering them.'

Harry said nothing and just nodded his head miserably although he couldn't quite bring himself to dread the coming night nor regret his decision to come here. Severus stood and approached the kitchen but paused when he heard his son's words, feeling them like daggers to his heart.

'I guess I really am that awful. Making things disappear and weird stuff...no one wants me. I was only two and he had to get rid of me, and then seven when my aunt and uncle had enough of my weirdness and burden. No one would adopt me even though I tried to be nice.' He sniffed and attempted to fight back the sobs that threatened to consume him. 'Why did I even have to be born? It would save everyone so much trouble, even me.'

'That is not true.' Harry snapped up when his father spoke in a soft, injured voice. He was shocked to see the conflicted expression on the man's face.

'Did anyone inform you about what happened to your mother?' Severus asked and Harry shook his head while he wiped his eyes so Severus continued. 'I had hoped you would be adopted into a loving family in which would provide you with more than I can give. This was not always the case. When you were a toddler, the house where your mother lived with you was invaded.' He said in a strained voice.

'An evil man tortured your mother for information and intended on killing you both. A group of aurors saved you and I was informed that you had been injured as well, perhaps stripping you of all magical ability. Grieving and unable to care for you, I decided to provide you with an alternative life in which you deserved.'

'Auror? Magical ability?' Harry looked confused.

'An auror is like a police officer with the exception that they are wizards and witches.' Severus explained. 'You and I are wizards, therefore it was expected that you would be born with magical abilities also.'

'Was mum a...a witch?' Harry wondered.

'Yes.' Severus answered.

'And you didn't...I mean, you did love me? You just thought I would be better off with a different family?' Harry frowned as he worked it out.

'Yes.' Severus said again.

'But you're wrong!' Harry informed him firmly. 'I don't want to live anywhere else! I want to stay here with you. If you think you can't give me stuff everyone else can, well, it doesn't really matter to me. I've never had much before so if I can just have somewhere to sleep, food to eat and a bathroom to use, I promise I won't be a bother! Please let me stay.'

His offer seemed reasonable, Severus thought, although he wasn't sure if he could agree to those requests. The boy thought he could simply live here but it was certainly more complicated than that.

'I child such as yourself needs to be cared for by a capable adult.' Severus frowned. 'Simply providing you with those requests will do nothing other than to ensure that you will survive. You also require guidance, discipline, education and so forth.'

'I'll read books.' Harry insisted. 'I'll go to school!'

'And you expect to pay for those expenses on your own?' Severus raised an eyebrow. 'That is yet another responsibility in which is bestowed upon your parent or guardian.'

Harry said nothing for a moment and bit his lip as he pondered on his options. 'Well, can I still stay for a little bit then? I just want to get to know you.' He shrugged.

'And exactly how long is “a little bit” in your terms?' Severus questioned.

'I dunno, a couple of weeks? A month?' Harry felt he was getting his hopes too high.

'One week and you are gone.' Severus turned and headed into the kitchen. He looked around for something to feed the boy as he was no doubt hungry after all his walking, unless he had taken the bus like an intelligent person. Finding a slice of chocolate cake with chocolate icing, he placed it on a plate and poured a glass of milk.

'Eat.' Severus instructed as he hovered them over to the table with his wand.

Harry stared at the floating plate and glass for a moment before his stomach urged him forward and he sat down to eat eagerly while his father sat across from him.

Harry shoved a spoonful of cake into his mouth and than other before he paused to look up at his father. He just stared at the man for a moment and took in his features; his black hair, brown eyes alike his own, paled skin, large nose and an occasional crease of his expression as he stared back; apparently doing the same thing.

'Will you take me to see mum's grave?' Harry asked suddenly. 'I mean, if you have time. I would really like to see it.'

'I shall take you to see her.' Severus nodded and glanced pointedly at the plate so Harry quickly resumed his eating. Realizing that the boy was apparently starving, he returned to the kitchen and made some sandwiches as well.

--

Once Harry had eaten to his content, Severus showed him upstairs where the bathroom was and Harry showered while his father prepared somewhere for the boy to sleep.

'Was this your room?' Harry asked as he stepped into the room with an untidy bunk bed and a lot of clutter.

'No.' Severus said in a tone of offense. 'But it will suffice. Do not wander and keep your nose out of things you do not own.' He instructed before he moved to leave the room.

'Wait!' Harry called to him. Severus turned and noticed the anxious, almost fearful look on the boy's face.

'Could I...I mean...could I have a...a hug?' Harry blushed profoundly and stared at the floor. 'I don't know what it's like and I want to remember this...for-for when I have to leave.'

Severus stepped forward and allowed the boy to cling to him, not revealing that he had wanted to do so since the child had turned to stare at him as he'd opened the front door and seen him again for the first time in nine years. But it was a mistake. Once he placed his hands on the boy's back briefly and felt the boy snuggling against him, a flash of memories and emotions overcame Severus so hastily that he pulled back and left the room immediately.

Harry prepared for bed while Severus brewed a dreamless sleep potion to keep such things at bay.

Despite how restless he had been and the little amount of sleep he had endured in the past day or so, Harry awoke during the early hours; the sun was yet to rise although he could see clearly enough with the morning light that entered his room. He just lay there and fought back tears while he tried to control the horrible feelings inside his stomach that had nothing to do with hungry nor thirst. It had finally caught up to him.

At the time, Harry had just wanted to flee the orphanage and find out about the man that was his father. And now that he was faced without the stress of the situation, he was able to come into terms with where he truly was. Harry could not keep the betrayal at bay.

The man was his father and had surely loved his mother if they'd had a child together. Yet something had happened and his mother was gone, but why had Severus no longer wanted his son? He had mentioned something about Harry having no magic and how he had wanted better for him or something along those lines. Wasn't a father supposed to love their child no matter what? The man didn't look like he had a lot of money, but surely it wasn't so terrible that he would send his only child away for a “better life” so quickly?

Harry was hurt emotionally as he realized more honestly now that his father did not want him, he didn't love him as Harry had hoped he would and the man still didn't seem to want him around at all. He had let Harry stay a week, and than Severus probably couldn't wait to get rid of him again.

'You're awake.' Harry's eyes jerked towards the doorway and saw Severus himself standing there in his usual blackness. Harry swallowed and looked away with shame as his betrayal continued to linger.

'Are you ill?' Severus stepped into the room. He appeared to be more curious than concerned although Harry didn't know that Severus was fighting to keep the entire situation casual and distance himself from any parental feelings that tried to reemerge.

'No.' Harry answered but his voice came out a little croaked from the sobs. He forced his gaze further away from the man as frowned at the wall across from him instead. 'Leave me alone.'

'What has put you in this state?' Severus asked. 'If you wish to leave, I shall return you to the orphanage directly after breakfast.' He offered.

'See?' Harry let his pain show and turned to glare his father. 'You can't wait to get rid of me!' He was angry although it melted into sadness again and the tears increased.

'I'm your son! Is there a part of you that loves me at all? Or am I just an-an inconvenience or-or do you just hate me? Did I do something to-to make you not want me? Did you only like me because m-mum did?' His voice trembled and he bunched the blankets closer to his chin as he curled underneath them and shoved his face deeper into his pillow. He felt a pressure on the mattress but tried to ignore it.

Severus exhaled when his son's voice broke. He entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed. The boy appeared to be hiding himself and refused to face him again as his small form shook with sobs.

'I am going to tell you a story.' Severus said in an even tone; the same one he barely recalled using when he read silly children stories to Harry when the boy had been a toddler or when he'd made up a tale because he was too tired to summon a book.

'But first you are going to cease your display of emotion and get dressed. We will eat breakfast and afterwards you can see what remains of your mother. Only then will I explain everything.'

This seemed to work as Harry's tear-streaked face emerged from the pillow. 'Everything?'

'That you need to know, yes.' Severus nodded.

'Now, enough. Get up. I will meet you downstairs in ten minutes.' He stood and left the room but paused outside in the hallway where Harry could not see him as he gripped the wall and ducked his head. Severus struggled with everything that tore through the barriers inside him, triggered by the thought of Lily and from seeing the look upon Harry's face. He heard the boy moving through the cluttered room and composed himself as he descended the stairs and went about preparing a filling breakfast for himself and...his son.

--

Harry rubbed his eyes and headed into the bathroom to clean himself up and blow his nose. He dressed in a black shirt, dark blue pants and a light blue jacket in which he zipped up halfway and pulled the hood about his face; he felt a little bit safer to be half-concealed from the world. He pulled on white socks and his worn shoes before he slowly made his way downstairs.

Harry did not allow himself a moment to think straight as he moved to sit at the table across from his father. Harry ate his cereal without bothering to look up at the man so he wasn't aware that Severus spent the entire meal staring at him.

--

Once he was finished his cereal, jam toast and milk, Harry placed his plate and bowl etc in the kitchen and glanced at his father expectantly; he remembered that they would be going to see his mother's grave now.

'I'm ready.' Harry announced when the man made no move to leave the house.

'I doubt you will be prepared for this event.' Severus said with a hint of sympathy. He stared at the boy and clenched his jaw. He stepped closer and grasped at the hood to pull it down to Harry's shoulders so that he could see the boy more clearly.

'What?' Harry asked and was curious as to why his father just stared at him. 'Do I look like mum?' He wondered. 'Is that why you can't be around me?'

'No.' Severus answered and examined at the boy's eyes that matched his own in colour but held Lily's softness; he saw the evenly toned skin that was somewhere between his and Lily's shades...and he noticed that everything else was from himself. There was almost no trace of his beloved flower in the boy at all that he could see.

Turning, Severus left the house and Harry followed close behind as the boy tried to brush off the odd way his father had just stared at him. Severus had made sure the boy had left his bag behind as it would look rather out of place if he brought it along. He walked down an alley in silence until they reached the spot and he turned towards the nervous boy.

'Take my arm.' He instructed and held out his arm for the child to hold.

'Why?' Harry asked suspiciously. 'We're not crossing a busy road. I don't need to hold your hand. Besides, I'm ten not five.'

Annoyed, Severus reached out and ignored the boy's flinch as he grasped his hand and spun on the spot, apparating them to a different section of London.

'What...happ-' Harry went to say but his stomach fought against him and he vomited against the ground, pale and out of breath.

Perhaps he should have warned the boy.

They were in an empty alley so Severus spelled the vomit away as well as any mess left behind, much to the bewilderment of Harry. He offered the boy a vial of anti-nausea but Harry refused it without the shine of trust he'd once had.

'Suit yourself.' Severus place the vial back into his pocket and turned towards the street. 'I have numerous errands to conduct and people to whom require visiting, only after the order of business will you get to see...' He trailed off and crossed a street, which was busier than any of the others Harry had seen in the past few days. And despite the boy's insisting previously that he was not five, Severus did grip his hand when they crossed a road and pulled Harry along to make sure he didn't get run over.

'So it's true?' Harry swallowed. 'You're-we're a w-wizard?'He looked up at his father in surprise and awe. 'That's cool.'

Severus said nothing and released the boy's hand with a threat to remain close while he entered a muggle store.

'Ah! There you are Mr Snape.' A balding man grinned at him and returned behind the counter to collect a stack of papers and wrapped items.

'I will pay in full.' Severus answered with a frown. Harry fell into step behind him and looked around at the store. He saw many antiques and various items of interest; like old plane models, faded fabrics, a large crate of toys in good condition but with faded paint and most were made of wood. There was also an entire section devoted to books and another to musical instruments. Harry could not picture his father playing a violin so he figured he was seeking books or something similar.

'We are leaving.' Severus said and Harry rushed back to his side to keep up. He noticed that his father put something in his pocket but surely the packages had been too large to fit?

Without waiting to be told, Harry reached over and grabbed his arm, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of magically traveling once again. He didn't sick up this time although he was sorely tempted to.

--

The next place was the home of an elderly lady in which Severus refused to be invited inside by and only stood by the doorway to question her about several objects. Harry had trouble making out what they were specifically talking about with a dog barking down the end of the street and the lady's constant comments about him being so cute and grown-up.

It wasn't until they were leaving that Harry realized that the woman had known him when he had been a baby. He turned to get a better view of her but the door to her home was shut and his father's arm was raised again as he waited for Harry to take a hold of it.

Three more house-calls and two more stores later and Harry was getting used to the magical transportation although he couldn't understand why his father had to do this today, why not tomorrow? Surely his mother's grave was far more important? Or...was Severus purposefully trying to delay that?

Harry barely glanced at the red-brick department store ahead that was closed for refurbishment in which was their next destination, as he realized that they had both lost her and they had both loved her. With so many things in common, Harry still couldn't comprehend how there could be such a complicated reason for his father abandoning him.

Harry glanced up and frowned as his father spoke with an object through the window and then grasped his hand to pull him through it. Harry yelped as he was sure they would collide with the solid window; instead they moved through it and he found himself inside a lobby.

'This is our last stop.' Severus said as he moved towards the right and Harry followed as they walked up several floors. He stared around at people as they emerged from green flames in fireplaces and others rushed about in odd clothes. He swallowed and hurried to keep up with his father even though the man wasn't going very fast.

They reached the fourth floor soon enough; Harry had seen a sign previously that had indicated this floor to be for spell damage. He now knew that this was a magical hospital.

'Ah, Severus!' A brown-haired man approached them with a sympathetic smile. This was the first person today who addressed him by his first name rather than “Mr Snape”.

'Oh, and who is this?' The man looked down at Harry. His eyes seemed oddly surprised, as though he already knew who he was just by looking at him and he was the last person he had expected to meet. Did Harry really look that much like his father?

'Morning, Jensen.' Severus said with a sigh. 'This is my son, Harry.' He said and the man stared between them in shock and with strong interest.

'Harry, this is Healer Jensen Carter.' Severus said out of respect.

'Hello sir.' Harry returned politely but shyly. He inched closer to his father because he wasn't quite as unpredictable as the strange man in front of him who stared at him as though he was an exciting experiment.

'We're only visiting a short while.' Severus told Jensen and moved past the healer to continue towards a private ward near the end. 'Come along, boy!' He snapped and Harry rushed after him.

'I shall be in soon.' Jensen sighed and glanced down at the clipboard in his hand. He appeared troubled when they walked away but was still momentarily surprised as he spoke softly to himself.

'Well, their son...I'll be damned.' The healer smiled a little.

--

Harry looked around at the ward his father had entered and spotted several beds fitted into a large space, each with their curtains drawn. Most were silent but light chatter was taking place behind a nearby bed; he heard an aging woman and young boy speaking to someone although there was never a reply.

Severus glanced at his son and allowed him to remain curious for a moment before he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder to lead him towards the far end of the room. He wished to get this visit over with and fulfill the boy's request so that they could head back home. He frowned at those troubling thoughts and shifted the curtains aside.

Harry moved to sit on a nearby chair while his father approached the sleeping patient and stared at his knees. He wondered what spell had hurt the pretty woman and if she was going to get better.

'Harry?' His father's voice called over to him a moment later and he rose to leave but found that he was being called towards the bed instead of the doorway.

'What?' Harry asked and ignored how rude he sounded, despite the obedience he showed as he turned towards the woman as instructed.

'I would like to formally introduce you to my fiancé...your mother, Lily.' Severus said and Harry couldn't conceal his gasp. The boy moved closer to the bed and stared at the woman with red hair and a slightly pale face but flushed cheeks; she was beautiful and alive...his mother.

'But you said...' He turned to his father.

'Not once did I state that she was dead.' Severus replied. 'However, she may as well be.'

'How can you say that?' Harry scowled at him and the betrayal swelled inside him once again, more strongly than he had previously. But with his mother right there, it mingled with many other emotions he was too young to fully sort through and understand with any level of ease.

'She's just sick, right? They'll use magic and she'll get better!' Harry grinned, renewed with the prospect of having a mother; he was so sure that Lily would want him and that she of all people did love him.

'I shall explain as promised. Later.' Severus said and appeared to be quite troubled as he stared at his beloved beauty.

'Severus?' Jensen approached. 'May I have a word?'

'Has there been a change?' Severus asked. It sounded like a question that had been voiced too many times with no promising answers; it lacked the sense of hope.

'No.' Jensen sighed and indicated that they should speak away from the boy.

'You may stay.' Severus told Harry. 'Remain here until I return.'

'Will it help if-if I talk to her?' Harry's whispered voice caused Severus to pause near the edge of the curtains. 'I heard that if someone was in a coma they might hear you and wake up.'

'She isn't in a coma.' Severus said. 'Her mind is lost.' He added mournfully. 'However, you may speak to her.' Severus sighed as he turned away and left Harry with his mother.

'Um, hi.' Harry shifted to stand closer to her face as he examined her motherly beauty. He overheard Jensen saying how she would open her eyes sometimes although she still can't make sense of anything around her. He shoved their words aside and focused only on his mother because he refused to believe that she wasn't merely sleeping.

'It's Harry, your son. I know it's been a while but-I...' He wasn't sure what to say so Harry simply reached out to hold her hand within his own. He jumped when her eyes flew open in reaction to his touch but she couldn't seem to find him, as though everything around her was a mingled blur of colours and shapes she had never seen before. He saw the lovely colour of emerald and felt rather sad with how empty they appeared.

'Dad said he'll tell me what happened later, so I don't really know what's going on yet.' Harry attempted to continue speaking to his mother. It hurt to realize that she probably didn't even realize who he was.

'Um, it's weird getting to know him, since I haven't been with him and I can only stay for a bit.' His hand felt rather warm inside her larger ones and the temperature increased so he hoped that he wasn't doing anything wrong. Sick people often got bad fevers and such, didn't they?

Harry then smiled as her gaze drifted across the bed and the room until it fell over him. It made him feel as though she could see him even if she wasn't making sense of who he was.

'Ah, anyway...I apparently look a lot like him, although maybe he would love me more if I looked like you.' Harry trailed off. He was unaware that Severus was finished talking with Jensen and now stood on the outer side of the curtains where he sadly listened to his son's softly spoken words.

'I don't know much about you. I stayed with your sister Petunia and her family for a while until I was seven. They weren't very nice to me though. I guess I should be happy that they sent me to the orphanage, even if it meant that no one wanted me again.' Harry continued.

'I tried to impress the families that came looking to adopt someone and that wanted to meet me. But I don't like being around people and I can't help feeling suspicious of them when they smile too much.' He sighed.

'Okay, I think you'll want to hear something more happy so...um.' Harry sniffed and smiled lightly. 'I don't really have a lot of happy things to say, really. I wish I did but I don't. I can only say that I felt happy when I found out where dad lived. But I don't think he loves me.' He admitted his saddened thoughts aloud.

The hand of hers in which he was still holding almost burned his skin but Harry refused to pull away from his mother's touch. Her eyes remained loosely focused upon on him until the next time Harry glanced up and noticed the sad expression that spread across her face.

'Can you understand me?' He asked and Severus peaked around the curtain the moment he had overheard those words.

'Harry.' Lily whispered. Her voice sounded unused and tired.

'Mum?' Harry's face lit up. 'You can see me? I mean, you know who I am?'

'You've grown...into a handsome boy. Just like your...father.' Lily's eyes began to close again but her other hand moved to touch his face. Harry helped by moving his free hand to grip it and placed it against his cheek. He ignored his father and Jensen as they rushed into the area around him.

'Harry!' Jensen was saying but Harry mind became foggy, which caused all sounds to blur together.

'Let go! You have to let go of her!'

He couldn't, not until he felt himself falling away from the bed, from his mother's touch and even from reality. Severus had remained motionless and shocked until he saw his son fall as though in slow-motion. He rushed forward and grabbed the boy and prevented him from hitting the floor.

'What...?' Harry peered through partially closed eyelids and felt entirely drained of energy as he stared up at his father.

'This is why we thought he's lost his magic as a toddler, Severus!' Jensen was saying but Harry still couldn't make sense of what he was being said. His father wasn't even looking at him as he stood with Harry lying in his arms and all his attention remained on Lily.

'He was giving his magic to his mother!' Jensen gasped with realization. 'Harry was trying to heal her.'

'What does this mean? Is there a change?' Severus asked in shock and with an ignited sense of hope.

'Little, but she certainly recognized her son for a brief moment.' Jensen said with an amazed smile. 'Maybe if we could...?'

'No. I will not allow you to experiment at the expense of my son. I am taking him home. We will discuss this further at another time. Keep me informed.' And Severus turned, still cradling in his arms as he left.

Harry opened his eyes again and despite the wave of tiredness that swept through every inch of his body along with the confusion that swam through his head, Harry was able to clearly see another boy moving from inside the curtains where he had heard voices previously.

'Neville!' A woman hissed and the boy moved back inside the area but not without first locking eyes with Harry.

And for a moment, each boy felt the same as the other; they experienced the identical hope and longing for a parent to recover from their fractured mind and remember their son.

 Although it didn't feel like it, Harry had spent an entire 28 hours sleeping after his visit from the hospital.

Severus had gone into the boy's temporary room every few hours to check up on him and spell a few potions into his stomach. Otherwise the man avoided the room and sat mournfully in his study. So when Harry finally woke during the late afternoon over an entire day later, he was greeted with a darkening and vacant room filled with the usual clutter and disinterest.

Harry frowned and tried to sit upright but his body ached as though he had over-done some form of extreme sports. His throat was also rather dry and his hands felt far too cold.

He lay there and didn't even consider calling for his father. At that moment he despised the man greatly. He hadn't told him that his mother was alive and while he'd clearly held on hope for her recovery, it seemed as though he didn't harbor similar feelings for his son if he had given Harry up so quickly.

Harry sniffed and despite his weakened state, he forced himself to roll over onto his side. He faced the wall the side of his bed was pressed against in effort to shut out everything around him. Tears slid down his cheeks as Harry expressed the hurt inside himself. He couldn't even put into words how much he had wished for a family and how all he wanted was for someone to love him. Feeling vulnerable, Harry curled into a fetal position underneath the blankets and squeezed his eyes tightly closed.

He inhaled sharply when he heard a sound outside the bedroom and reached up to wipe away his tears, feeling embarrassed by his emotionally unraveled state. He continued to stare at the darkened wall and refused to turn around when he felt the pressure on his mattress that suggested he wasn't alone.

Severus nodded his head; he understood why the boy was in such a state of sadness and anger. He had felt it every single day for the past eight years.

He had come to check on the boy when he'd noticed the state his child was in and the guilt that had stabbed him had been worst than what he'd felt when he'd been unable to save Lily or when he'd left the same boy at the orphanage all those years ago. He sat on the space on the bed caused by Harry trying to put as much distance between them as possible and merely stared at the back of the boy's head for several minutes.

Neither said a word as Harry fought his emotions but could not prevent his sniffling nose from shaking his form. Severus was glad the boy's back was turned or he'd have to explain why his own expression was pained as it expressed the turmoil he was under from seeing his son in such a way.

No longer resisting the urge, Severus reached over and lightly touched the boy's head with his hand. Harry flinched from the sudden contact but made no move to shove his father away so Severus slowly started smoothing the boy's hair with his hand.

The silky action began to soothe them both until slowly but surely, Harry turned around to face his father and Severus removed his hand.

Still, not a single word was spoken as they pair stared at the other and a small smile spread over Severus' lips as he saw the anger leave Harry's eyes to be replaced with uncertainty.

'Are you hungry?' Severus asked the boy and Harry slowly nodded.

'Come on.' Severus stood and held out a hand for Harry, who reached for it and used the borrowed strength to pull himself from the bed. Severus winced when he felt a shiver of cold rush through him when Harry's hand touched his own, which was colder than ice. He checked the boy was busy glancing down at his pajamas (it seemed he'd just noticed he was wearing them), and placed his other hand over Harry's so that the boy's smaller hand was sandwiched between his larger ones.

Harry didn't even notice as his hands warmed with the magic from his father and his pale face became more flushed than chalky white.

'Hm.' Harry said, still trying to work out when he had changed his clothes. Severus observed his expression and cast a spell to change the pajamas back into their original clothes while still gripping Harry's hand with one of his own to assist him in remaining upright.

'You feel exhausted because a large portion of your magic had been drained and your core requires some time to recover.' Severus explained. 'You may come downstairs for dinner but I strongly recommend you not to over-do it.'

Harry nodded and was still to utter a single word. Severus helped him to the door but the boy was clearly having difficulty. They paused in the doorway and Harry looked up at Severus questionably and suppressed a yelp when the man suddenly lifted him and alternatively carried him downstairs.

'I have a roast in the oven.' Severus placed Harry in the chair and turned towards the kitchen as the scent of a delicious meal reached Harry and inspired his appetite.

'It's nowhere near as splendid as your mother's but...it's still her recipe.'

'Why didn't you tell me she was alive?' Harry finally spoke and Severus turned towards him quickly before he applied a mask of casualness.

'Because I feared that you would become attached as I have.' Severus explained and hovered the plates of food over to the table before he sat across from his son.

'You are only staying for a week, therefore this new knowledge may haunt you as surely it does I.'

'She's my mother!' Harry scowled. 'I have the right to know.'

'And as your father I have the right to protect you.' Severus retorted. 'I find it incredible that of all things your little stunt has temporarily robbed you of, your speech is not one of them.' He muttered to himself as the boy could barely walk and yet he had no difficulty shouting at him.

'How can you be my father?' Harry frowned and Severus heard those words as though they had taken physical form and cut their way into his ears; it hurt.

'You don't love me, you don't want me and you'd rather look after someone stuck to a hospital bed than your own son!' Harry vented and fresh tears shed from his eyes.

Severus growled as he heard those words and Harry recoiled from the expression glared his way. 'Do not speak of your mother that way.' He warned. 'You are but a child. I do not have to explain such complicated situations to you because they are beyond your understanding.'

'Oh, so now I'm stupid too?' Harry grumbled. His anger was replaced with startled fear when his father suddenly slammed his palm against the table and caused Harry to jump.

'Sorry!' Harry yelped quickly as he remembered that he knew nothing about his father and angering him could have the same result as angering his uncle had.

Severus cursed to himself when he realized he'd scared the boy. He exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment as he pondered on how to rectify the situation.

'Harry.' Severus sighed. 'I promised you that I would explain everything and I will. If you finish your meal, I will assist you with your shower and once you are back in bed...you will know everything.'

Harry grabbed his fork and used all of his remaining strength to eat the meal as fast as he could. The roast pork with potatoes and vegetables was perhaps the best dinner he could ever recall eating but he said nothing of it until his plate was empty.

Severus finished his own eating and nodded. He approached Harry to pick him up but the boy pulled away and glared at him.

'I can walk.' Harry frowned.

'Oh, brilliant.' Severus grumbled to himself as the boy attempted to climb the stairs all on his own. 'He has inherited my stubbornness.'

'Why do you have so many stairs?' Harry complained and Severus didn't even bother to attempt an answer to such a rhetorical question. He rolled his eyes and watched his son struggle his way up the stairs until the boy reached the bedroom door and used the frame for support.

'Satisfied?' Severus asked as Harry turned and looked at his desperately, obviously about to fall over from his extra strain.

'Help.' Harry winced and Severus was concerned when they boy's face slowly began to pale again.

'Idiot child, what where you thinking?' Severus scowled as he rushed to catch his son when the boy stumbled.

He sighed and assisted Harry towards the bathroom while applying a featherlight charm on him. He summoned his real pajamas and proceeded to run the warm water of the shower while Harry undressed with embarrassment.

'This is humiliating.' Harry whined.

'I've changed your diapers.' Severus rolled his eyes. 'And I'm your father. Come along now, water isn't cheap.' He assisted Harry with the short shower and the boy did not stop blushing the entire time.

Severus spelled Harry dry and did the same for his clothes. He reached out a hand to help the boy but Harry was focused on something else.

'What?' Severus wondered as Harry approached the mirror and used his sleeve to wipe it so he could stare at his reflection. He moved behind Harry to see what had captured the boy's attention, which is what Harry had hoped he would do.

'See?' Harry smiled at his father through his reflection. 'I have your eyes.' He pointed to his eyes while Severus watched with amusement.

'And your hair.' He ran a hand through the strands, remembering how his father had done the same less than an hour ago.

'But it's softer, like your mothers.' Severus did exactly that as he touched Harry's hair, feeling tis softness while Harry's grin widened.

'What about my ears?' Harry wondered and pulled at them to examine their shape. His antics almost made Severus laugh as they lost themselves to the moment.

'Your mother's.' Severus replied.

'I look like a monkey.' Harry complained and turned around to face his father when the man was incapable of suppressing his snort. He felt warm knowing that he had just made his father smile, something he hadn't seen on the man's face before.

'What about my smile?' Harry's tone was lower and more mysterious.

'Yours or mums?' He turned around to the mirror.

Severus shrugged at that one. 'I don't know, what do you think?'

'I think it's both.' Harry announced. 'Just like my skin colour and...' He turned back to his father. 'And my hands.'

'Your hands?' Severus glanced at them.

'No, I mean they're soft and warm. Just like mums and just like yours.' Harry told him.

'Right well, come on now...time for bed.' Severus cleared his throat but couldn't resist smirking at the boy. 'But you do look a little like a monkey.'

'Do not!' Harry protested as his father picked him up to help him get ready for bed without the extra struggle to walk there.

'What is it?' He noticed a sad expression suddenly overcome the man.

'Your mother used to call you that when you were a toddler.' Severus admitted with a sigh as he pulled the blankets up to Harry's chin.

'Our little monkey.' He said. 'Because you'd cling on like a monkey and never let go.'

Harry nodded and understood why that made both himself and his father sad. But now that he was in his bed, the more pressing issues returned and he was hungry for information.

'Is this when you tell me everything?' Harry wondered as Severus sat on the edge of his bed and nodded.

'As you know, there is both light and darkness in the world.' Severus began.

'Magic or muggle, this will always be the case. You were born in 1981 and barely two years later a very dark wizard named...Voldemort, had showed up at the house you and your mother were staying in. He brought some of his worst Death Eaters with him, those who specialize in extracting information through...torture.'

'Torture?' Harry gulped. 'Um, what's a Death Eater?'

'Yes. And they are V-Voldemort's followers.' Severus struggled a little with the name but was determined to say it, for Lily.

'I deeply regret not being there to protect both of you.' Severus admitted his shame and stared elsewhere, unable to face Harry's gaze.

'I was a Death Eater myself since departing school, but as a spy.' He heard Harry's gasp. 'I advanced in the ranks and reported everything I found out to Dumbledore, who had formed a rebellion known as the Order of the Phoenix. Your mother was a member, along with many others we went to school with.' Severus explained.

'That night, I was away on an important mission. I had no way of knowing that Voldemort suspected that your mother was involved with the Order nor that he had figured out her importance. You see, your mother was exceptionally gifted with charms and had helped the Order evade the Death Eaters and protect our secrets for so long.'

'But you can appear and disappear with magic.' Harry recalled. 'Didn't you find out and come to save us?'

'I tried.' Severus exhaled heavily.

'But I heard of it too late, even though I had a terrible feeling that someone was happening. They had tortured your mother with a terrible and forbidden curse but she was too strong, she refused to tell them what they wanted to know.' He choked back sobs and forced himself to remain relatively composed.

Harry stared at his father and inched closer on the mattress. He reached across and placed his smaller hand over his father's to offer comfort.

'Then did you save us?' He wondered.

'I showed up just as Dumbledore completed his genius plan to rid the world of Voldemort. I don't know the finer details, only that when I arrived the aurors had also made an appearance and the Death Eaters had been captured.' Severus said and his hair curtained his face to conceal his haunted expression.

'You mother...Lily, she was lying on the floor.' He gasped. 'And you were crying in your crib. The aurors rushed both of you to St. Mungos and it was there that I was told that her mind had been lost due to the strain of the curse being used repetitively and for longer than it should.' He shook his head. 'I didn't know what to do, I was...I was scared.' He admitted to his son.

'And I had you. The healers said you were sick and somehow your magic had been drained. They observed you for two weeks and than by a miracle, you get better but it was assumed that your magic was gone.'

'Is that why you didn't want me anymore?' Harry sniffed.

Severus turned to face him and cupped the boy's face with his hands. 'Harry, not even for a moment did I ever not want you. You are my son, magic or not...I won't stop loving you.' He frowned.

'But for six months, there was no change in your mother and I was advised to not let you near her. I feared you would grow up praying for your mothers health while being robbed of even being permitted near her. I wasn't hoping either and I was certain that the overall situation was not doing you any good.'

'So you just...got rid of me?' Harry frowned. 'It had only been a few months! Mum might've got better.'

'It was a decision I made based on the situation and with your future in mind.' Severus turned away again. 'Harry, it's not something I expected you to understand. I promised to tell you, but how you take it is entirely dependable on you.' He sighed again.

'You will be better off if you're raised in a better household with those who aren't attached to a doomed fate, who don't spend everyday dwelling on mistakes and fighting for a lost battle.'

'You're still sending me back to the orphanage, aren't you?' Harry's eyes welled up again. 'I want to be with you, dad.'

Severus glanced quickly at him when the boy called him that but forced himself to remain the stronger one.

'No. I can't allow it. In four days you will go back and move on with your life. Perhaps after you've grown up I can be in your life but for now this is what's best for you.'

'Well that's rubbish.' Harry scowled as his tears fell. He scowled and rolled over to face away from his father and crossed his arms.

'I'll just keeping running away and coming back here.' He decided stubbornly.

'You shall do no such thing.' Severus growled. 'You were lucky this time. This is not a place I am generally found at. The next time you show up...I won't be here.'

'You think I'm better but you're just ruining everything more.' Harry still refused to face him as his anger increased.

'I did not wish for you to come here.' Severus reminded him.

Harry was quiet for a long moment before he wiped his eyes and turned around to face his father, his eyes clouding with betrayal and sadness.

'Fine.' He said stiffly as he realized there was no way to win. 'If I have to go, I want to spend the four days with you and then see mum one last time. Promise?'

Severus smiled sadly at the boy's bravery and obedience. 'I promise.' He nodded and brushed some hair from Harry's face.

'But now you need to sleep or you'll be spending those days in bed.'

Harry nodded and rolled over again. He felt his father leave the room and the light was turned off. Once the silence fell over him, he buried his face into his pillow to muffle his sobs.

--

Severus stood outside the bedroom and closed his eyes. He could hear Harry making odd sounds in the room and was certain that he knew what the boy was doing.

He hadn't been very brief with his story though, for the boy's sake. He had left out the blood, the struggle and every other excruciating detail from finding Lily and Harry to placing the child on the doorstep of the orphanage. But Severus could not let this pain continue. He was determined that he could never escape so there was no reason for his son to become trapped as well when he could be leading a joyous childhood filled with everything he needed.

Everything but the one thing he wanted.

'Forgive me, Lily.' Severus muttered mournfully. as he turned and began his own preparations for bed.

Both Harry and Severus had a rough sleep that night, dreaming of Lily and dark orphanages.

When the sun shone into the house, Harry continued to sleep while Severus got up and dressed. He was careful not to disturb the boy although he was sure that he slept as heavily as his mother tended to when rest was needed. Severus was glad the boy hadn't inherited his inability to sleep for more than a few short hours whenever he was ill.

After deciding on breakfast, Severus approached one of the bookcases in the living room and sorted through them until he located a thick, leather-bound book with a photographs of himself, Lily and toddler Harry on the front.

Severus sighed with dread as he sank into an armchair and flipped through the book filled with both muggle and magical photographs. It had been a long time since he had even touched this book as it pained him to see Lily so bright and active when she wasn't like that anymore. And also to see little Harry so full of life and joy.

There were images of newborn Harry but Severus avoided them since they were taken at the hospital. He instead smiled shortly at the picture Lily had taken when Harry had been a few months old and had fallen asleep on Severus' stomach while he too slept. It had been a long and tiring day and yet Lily had somehow managed to get several photos without either of them noticing.

Next there were pictures of Harry's first birthday, with cake all over his face, in his hair and also smeared on his parents as they held him. Severus was trying to clear away the cake in the photo while Lily mercilessly laughed at him and Harry continued to shove chocolate into his already-full mouth.

There were some of Harry in the bath and many of the boy making a mess but Severus thought they were all quite the same, only the child grew as the photos progressed. He was going to miss those parts; watching his son learn new skills as he continued to grow into a boy and than a student at Hogwarts, a teenager and than an adult. He could always apply for a job at Hogwarts as a Potions Master but Severus didn't want to. He had told Harry they must part their ways for the boy's own good and he was going to stand by that, no matter how much it hurt him. He knew that with time, Harry would miss him less and less as he moved on with his own life and became as happy as he should be.

In years, Harry may even forget him and Lily, to the point of them just being a distant memory. Severus wanted his son to move on and live his life.

He snapped the book closed and returned it to the shelf. He had made his choice and there was no way to change it.

Severus was going to give Harry his promised four days and one last visit to Lily and then...it was time to let go.

'Harry!' The boy woke as his father called his name and he discovered that it was well into the morning now.

Yawning, Harry sat up and realized that he felt a lot stronger than the previous day, which was a great relief. He climbed out of bed and changed into a black shirt and jeans before he made his way downstairs and saw the pancakes sitting on the table waiting for him.

'You don't look like the cooking type.' Harry commented as he sat down and hesitatingly tasted the slightly disfigured pancakes but found that they were relatively nice.

'I'm not.' Severus frowned. 'That is a skill your mother possesses, I am merely...filling in for her.' He sighed.

'Well, they're really good.' Harry complimented and Severus nodded, keeping to himself that this was his second batch and he had tried quite hard to get them edible enough. Roasts and steamed food were fine, but anything beyond that and he was pulling out Lily's homemade cookbook and doing the best he could with a talent he doesn't have.

Severus sat across from Harry to read the Daily Prophet as he had already eaten and was not one to drink coffee. Lily may like the foul drink but he wasn't so much of going to inhale it.

'So um, what are we going to do?' Harry wondered after his fifth mouthful. 'I mean...for the four days and all.' He mumbled.

Severus didn't emerge from behind his newspaper and Harry paused with his eating to stare curiously at the moving front page, still being rather unfamiliar with magic.

'What would you like to do?' Severus wondered.

Harry thought hard for a moment. 'Uh, well I've always wanted to go to a zoo...or maybe, we could just...I dunno. What do people do with their families?' He grumbled.

Severus hated that Harry didn't know the answer to that question by the age he was at now.

'The zoo is satisfactory.' Severus noticed the silence and glanced over his newspaper, seeing Harry bend his head to try and continue to read the front page.

'Perhaps it would be easier to simply request the paper?' He folded it and handed to to Harry, amused by the boy's interest in it.

'Oh, um...yeah.' Harry shrugged and accepted the paper. He tried to read it while still eating his breakfast and Severus let him even though the boy got syrup on the paper and down the front of his chin as a result.

There was no point trying to be the boy's father when he was leaving in four days to be someone else's son.

--

The rest of the meal passed by mostly with silence as Severus pondered to himself and Harry read through the magical newspaper until he'd reached the very back page and inquired about the zoo again.

Severus sighed and summoned a few brochures and allowed the boy to eagerly flip through them until he had selected the one he wanted to go to.

'They even have a special on the tickets for this week.' Harry added as he showed his father the one he wanted to go to, which was naturally the biggest and most expensive of the seven options.

'Very well. We shall go whenever you are ready.' Severus nodded.

'Like, right now?' Harry grinned. 'Alright, thanks!' He jumped up from the table and rushed upstairs to use the loo and make sure he had everything he needed for their little outing.

--

In twenty minutes, the pair left the house and Severus apparated them a block away from the zoo. Harry frowned when a hat materialized on his head but ignored it when the entrance of the London Zoo came into view.

'Come on!' He urged and ran ahead to wait in line for their tickets.

Severus sighed and caught up with the boy as he purchased their right of entry and had to reach out to grasp the back of Harry's shirt to prevent his son from running off again.

'Not so fast.' Severus said. 'You are to remain at my side because I don't have the time nor sanity to be chasing after you all day.' He frowned.

'Sorry.' Harry blushed although his grin remained as he stared around at all of the exhibits. 'So ah...where to first, dad?' He asked as he stared down at the park map in his hands.

Severus paused at the title the boy had called him by and tried not to allow it to affect him in any way, but failed.

'You may choose.' He sighed tiredly.

Harry pointed towards the right. 'The monkeys.' He decided.

'Naturally.' Severus chuckled as he followed after his eager son and stood nearby as the boy stared at the trees in search for the creatures.

'I see them!' Harry pointed. 'Look at that one, over by the tree!' He laughed as the monkey tried to open a large nut by hitting it against a rock.

After Harry got tired of watching the monkeys, they saw the birds of prey and the tigers before they headed towards the giraffe exhibits.

'I can't see!' Harry complained as the wall was far too high for him to see over and one of the zookeepers were about to begin a demonstration.

Severus glance down as Harry huffed and kicked at a stone near the ground miserably as he appeared to quite like the animal but hated being so short; he believe he was going to miss the show because of it and that made him sad.

Sighing and rolling his eyes, Severus reached over and cast a featherlight charm on Harry before he hoisted him up and allowed the boy to sit on his shoulders.

'Whoa, I can see now. Thanks!' Harry grinned although he clutched handfuls of Severus' hair to remain holding on, unaware of the sticking charm Severus had also put in place.

Severus crossed his arms and proceeded to watch the show with his son sitting atop his shoulders and occasionally tugging at his hair. He wasn't too pleased with his quick decision until he heard the boy's laughter when one of the giraffes approached the wall and Harry was able to reach out to touch it lightly.

--

Even after twelve other incredible animals, a double serving of chocolate ice cream with sprinkles, several exciting shows and a delicious lunch later...that moment with the giraffe remained to be the boy's favourite event for that entire day.

It was fair to say though, that when the pair finally arrived back at Spinner's End, they were both tired and looking forward to a warm meal, showers and than bed.

'Did you have a favourite animal?' Harry wondered during dinner after he'd detailed his tale of the giraffe touching his hand again.

'The bats.' Severus replied as he felt that such a question should be answered.

'You would.' Harry sniggered.

'What is that supposed to mean?' Severus raised an eyebrow at the boy but his son wisely chose not to answer.

Although the boy's face slowly became sadder again when he realized that with one day gone by so quickly...he feared the next three would also.

'Um, so...where to tomorrow?' Harry sighed and nudged his potatoes with his fork.

'I mean, it'd be awesome to spend the days going places but I want to make sure they're something I can remember this life by.' He said. 'Is there anywhere we used to go before...before we were separated? Maybe a picnic place or...or something like that?'

Severus thought for a moment and recalled a park in the country Lily preferred to take them to with an older friend of hers.

'Yes.' He nodded. 'There is a place. I believe Roseandra, a friend of your mother's, would also be quite pleased to see you again now that you're older. She shall also have plenty of tales to tell you.'

'Okay, cool.' Harry had hoped to spend every day with just his father but didn't want to pass up such a chance. 'Can we do that tomorrow, then?'

'I shall owl her tomorrow morning.' Severus replied and eyed the boy's plate. 'On the condition that you eat all of your vegetables and not just the ones who have been fortunate to not cross your path.' He raised an eyebrow at the mushed carrots and stabbed potatoes.

'But now they're gross.' Harry pulled a face at the less-appealing pieces. He caught the stern glare on his father's face and exhaled loudly.

'Fine.' He growled out and started to eat, making sure he pulled face when he didn't like something because it had gone cold or was mushed.

The boys had received a reply from Rosiandra almost immediately the following morning and she happily agreed to have them floo to her house just before lunch and than join them for a picnic in a nearby park that once belonged to her grandmother.

'This place is really pretty.' Harry commented as he stared around at the lush grass on their hill with a tall, flowering tree and long meadows of wild grass and flowers in every direction. In the far distance there were mountains and the sky was clear blue; it was stunningly beautiful.

'It is, isn't it?' Rosiandra smiled at Harry.

She was a tall witch and yet was still a few inches shorter than Severus. She dressed in a long gown of lightly toned colours and with long sleeves. Over that was a cloak of a deep gold colour. Her hair was golden brown with streaks of copper and sat in a tight bun.

'Did your father tell you that this is where he proposed to your mother?' He smirked at Severus' embarrassed scowl.

'No!' Harry frowned at his father before he joined Rosiandra on the quilt that his father had magically spread out under a tree atop the hill.

'He was so nervous, your poor father.' Rosiandra chuckled.

'Must we speak of this?' Severus grumbled.

'You said she could tell me stories.' Harry reminded him and returned his attention to Rosiandra as she explained how his father had spent months preparing and weeks rehearsing until he almost lost his nerve. All that work for her to fling her arms around him and say “yes” within the blink of an eye.

'Lily told me the look on his face was of shock.' Rosiandra added while Harry laughed.

'Your mother was always doing that, surprising him most when he least expected anything to stray from his perfectly laid plans.'

'I'll bet.' Harry sniggered. 'Did they bring me here?' He wondered.

'Once, I believe.' Rosiandra nodded. 'You weren't very old. They had come here for a picnic to celebrate my birthday.' She smiled with fond remembrance.

'Your mother had you all dressed up in the cutest little outfit and we just sat here and shared a picnic just as we are now.' Rosiandra sighed and lowered her gaze. 'It's just not the same without her though, is it Severus?'

'It never is.' Severus replied.

Harry glanced between the pair and lowered his gaze; he too wished his mother was there with them, laughing and smiling like she apparently always did.

He frowned and wondered if he could take her place for the day and be the one making jokes and having fun. Harry didn't feel all too joyous when he remembered his mother being unable to even remember them, but he was determined to not let her space remain empty.

'Did you hear about the man who drove with five elephants in his back seat?' Harry asked Rosiandra.

'What? No.' She replied seriously while Severus rolled his eyes.

'The boy is attempting a joke.' He informed her and Rosiandra chuckled as she calmed and nodded for Harry to continue.

'Well, this man was a muggle so he was pulled over by a police officer one day.' Harry continued.

'Muggle law enforcement.' Severus informed Rosiandra when she appeared confused. 'It is illegal to carry such animals in their cars.'

'Yeah, anyway. The police officer said that the man can't drive around with elephants in his car and that he should take them to the zoo.' Harry explained with a small smirk.

'And the man nodded before he turned around and drove back to town. The next day he was pulled over by the same police officer and he still had those elephants.' He told them while Severus barely listened and preferred to muse in his own memories; Rosiandra however was quite intrigued by the false tale.

'What happened?' She wondered.

'Well, the police officer was annoyed, you see. Because he had told the man to take them to the zoo but there he was driving with the elephants in the back seat. He confronted the man and said “Hey! I thought I told you to take them to the zoo?” he frowned. The man looked at him and nodded. “Yeah, I did” He said. 'But today I'm taking them to a beach for the day.” Get it?' Harry grinned and Rosiandra laughed while Severus only seemed mildly amused.

'Oh, you certainly have a way with delivery.' Rosiandra chuckled. 'Wherever did you hear that joke?'

'At the orphanage.' Harry replied and didn't notice how Severus instantly tensed and glanced nervously at Rosiandra.

'Hm.' The woman glared at Severus and Harry quickly tried to rectify the lowering mood, still determined to keep it cheerful like his mother had.

'Um, I got another one. Do you know “knock knock” jokes?' Harry asked.

'I do.' Rosiandra nodded. 'That is one form of muggle jokes I am very familiar with.'

'Well I got one.' Harry told her. 'Knock knock.'

'Who's there?' Rosiandra asked dutifully.

'Cow-go.' Harry replied.

'Cow-go who?' She wondered.

'No, cow go moo!' Harry grinned and felt confident when Rosiandra cracked up laughing. He glanced at his father but frowned when he didn't appear to be very amused.

'Rest assured, I do not partake in such a form of joking.' Severus noticed the expression. 'My lack of reaction does not reflect your joke-telling capabilities.'

'Tell me another!' Rosiandra asked Harry with a broad smile. 'Your mother was not particularly good with material, although she tried.'

'Knock knock.' Harry asked again.

'Who's there?' Rosiandra replied.

'A little old muggle who can't reach the doorbell.' Harry answered but mused on the comment about his mother while Rosiandra laughed again. She was easy to please and it didn't take much effort on his behalf although he had always wanted to make his father happy too.

'I'm hungry.' Harry sighed and eyed the picnic basket which Rosiandra had prepared for them.

'Than let's not waste another minute!' Rosiandra agreed and placed out the rolls, cakes and sliced fruit.

Harry ate in silence and listened as the adults talked about the few times they had spent there and how Lily always found something fun to do. Than the conversation took a more business tone and Harry got a bit bored with old work stories from Rosiandra; Severus spared him by unshrinking a bright blue kite and handing it to Harry.

'Thanks!' Harry jumped up and played with the kite while the adults continued to talk.

'He's grown up so fast.' Rosiandra mused with a sad sigh.

'I wish Lily was here to see it. Or even you for that matter. Severus, how can you even think of sending the boy away again? Can't you see that he belongs at him with his father?' She frowned.

'Perhaps.' Severus admitted as he watched Harry running around with the kite. 'However, the decision has been made.'

'And than you won't change it.' Rosiandra knew. 'Only Lily could make you change your mind about anything. But have you ever thought about what Lily would want? Do you think she would forgive you for sending your little boy away?'

'Dad, look!' Harry called over to them and pointed to the sky where his kite hovered perfectly in the wind.

Severus nodded but a faraway gaze covered his face as he watched the kite raising above the winds that fought against it. He knew Rosiandra was right...Lily would never forgive him for such a terrible thing as sending their child away from home.

The following day consisted of Harry and Severus visiting one of the largest libraries in the muggle world where each of them were content to waste away hours reading books of interest.

Afterwards they saw a muggle animated movie and went out for dinner at a restaurant in which Harry's parents had gone to for their one year anniversary.

The final day came around quicker than Harry liked. After much consideration, they decided to spent most of the day in the magical world. Therefore Harry ventured through Hogsmeade and got to see Godric's Hollow before they had lunch in Diagon Alley and by then it was time for him to see his mother one last time before he was taken from the magical world and his re-discovered family.

They arrived at St.Mungo's just after 2pm in the afternoon and Jensen greeted them although he knew the arrangements and did his best to ignore the dread in Severus' stance as well as the pure misery that leaked into every aspect of Harry.

'Has there been any change?' Harry wondered. It was a question like that spoken with such a tone in which was why Severus was determined to send him away again; the boy did not need to fall into the trap he had.

'I'm afraid not, sorry.' Jensen sighed and stood by the reception to sign a few forms while they waited.

Harry wanted to go straight to see his mother but had to wait while Jensen and his father spoke about a few arrangements first. Impatiently, he turned and glanced around the corridor a few corners away from his mother's room and noticed that he was being watched.

A man had just left a room near Harry's right and hesitated when he saw the group standing there. The man had hair that stuck in various directions as though it couldn't be tamed or else spent too much in gushing winds. It was a warm brown colour and his eyes were a similar colour. He had a golden ring on his left hand - a wedding ring it would seem – along with a strange, red ring on his right hand that was too far away for Harry to make out properly, although it appeared to have some sort of crest on it.

He wasn't sure why this wizard had caught his attention so firmly nor why he appeared to have the same effect on this odd wizard, who was staring back at him with an expression of pure shock and alarm.

'Harry?' Severus called to him and he turned to follow them towards the room where his mother was, eager to get away from the weird man.

'We'll give you a moment.' Jensen nodded and the adults left Harry by Lily's side.

'Hey, mum.' Harry sank miserably into the nearest chair.

'I guess this is goodbye.' He sniffed sadly as the weight of what was going to happen began to sink into his already-rejected heart.

'Dad think I'm better off with another family. But why should I have a new one when I already have a family?' Harry sighed and carefully placed his hand over his mother's, remembering what happened last time. He watched her turned towards him but her gaze was blank and forever-searching.

'I'm gonna miss you.' Harry choked as he wished he could stay with his parents forever and that if something happened with his mother than he could be there for her.

'Promise you won't forget me?' He asked although he knew she already had.

His hands started to warm like they had before and Harry was tempted to let it happen just so he could hear her voice. And maybe gain a few extra days with his father as he had to be cared for until he got his strength back, although it was a bit embarrassing to be carried; and nice at the same time.

'Not a good idea to do that.' A voice spoke from behind him and Harry jerked his hands away, thinking it was his father or Jensen. He turned quickly and gasped as it was the man who had been staring at him previously.

'I-I wasn't.' Harry replied.

'You were thinking about it.' The man shook his head and than turned to tend to another ward with a clipboard that Harry barely had time to read the single name “Longbottom” on it.

Sighing, Harry sniffled again and stared at his mother's face sadly. 'I'm really gonna miss you, mum.' He whispered and brushed some red hair from her face.

'If you were here...would you stop dad from sending me away?' He wondered as a tear slid down his face and he clutched at the sheets near her hand.

Lily's face frowned and her head slowly nodded in reply, but Harry's head was bent and he didn't notice the action. She had turned away again when Severus re-entered the ward and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.

'How could you do this to me?' Harry sobbed. And even as he said that, the boy jumped up and climbed on his chair to jump towards his father, trusting the man to catch him as he wrapped his arms around his neck and clung to him.

Severus held his son while Lily barely watched on and hugged him back, fighting with his own emotions and pre-regrets.

--

And finally their last day together for a long time came to an end. Harry barely ate his food and seemed to be unfocused on everything he was doing.

Severus was woken by a sound down the hall and sat upright in his bed until he saw the door open and Harry stood there, rubbing his eyes sadly.

'C-can I just lie with you for a minute?' Harry sniffed. 'I can't sleep.'

Severus said nothing as he moved over and retreated to Lily's side of the bed while Harry climbed into the large bed and took his place. He lay back down with a sigh and felt the boy curl up against him, clearly intending to sleep there rather than to “lie there for a minute” as he'd claimed. Frowning as his own tears slid onto the soft pillow, Severus reached over and pulled the obviously sobbing child against his chest.

'Sshh.' He whispered as Harry squeezed his eyes shut and tried to deal with the pain.

'It will be over soon and you can move on with your life. I know I may seem cruel now but one day you'll realize why I did it.' Severus kissed the back of his son's head and bit his lip to prevent him from saying anything else.

The pair felt asleep like that and even as the sun came up, neither moved until there was a knock at the front door.

'It is time.' Severus sighed as he got out of bed and transfigured his clothes into his usual robes.

'Go get dressed, collect all of your belongings and than meet me downstairs.' He turned and left the room.

Harry wiped his face and did as he was told. Ten minutes later he stared in the living room and watched his father talk with the lady from social services. He hated her already.

'Well than, it's time for you to go.' She turned towards him.

'I don't want to.' Harry sniffled.

'There is no choice in the matter, young man.' The woman sighed. 'Come along now, we're on a schedule. You should be lucky for the time you've had here.'

Harry knew she was right but didn't care. He flung himself at his father and pleaded him not to send him away again. It was no use; half an hour later he was standing by the open door of the dark blue car and waving goodbye.

'I won't ever forget you, I promise.' Harry told his father.

'I sincerely hope you break that promise.' Severus sighed and placed a hand on the boy's head.

'But I shall never forget you, my son. I shall love you a little more every day and I patiently await the moment when you are old enough to return, if you wish. Please do look after yourself.'

Harry's lip trembled and he wanted to tell the man he hated him for sending him away but couldn't dare to say it.

'Goodbye, daddy.' He sniffed and got into the car, clutching his bag tearfully.

Severus watched as the boy pressed his hand against the glass just as it began to drive away and out of sight. He turned and re-entered the house, placing a hand against the door frame to stabilize himself. He wanted to chase the car like a madman and demand his son to be returned. But he did not.

It was over now...they could both be left in peace to live their lives once again. Severus was no fool, he knew that would never happen, but he had believe it was possible.

Severus made his way upstairs and entered the room that Harry had been staying in. He spotted something on the floor just under the bed and reached to retrieve it. He swallowed as he saw one of the small figurines the boy had bought at the zoo (he had about ten of them, this one in particular was of the giraffe).

Severus clutched it as he sank to his knees, bent his head and choked back sobs.

'What have I done?' Severus whispered. But the decision had been made...and so it shall remain.

As the engine of the car started, Harry turned in his seat and pressed both his hands against the window as he saw the houses passing by. Sniffling, he stared at the house he longed to live in...as it disappeared.

Harry shifted in his seat and stared at his hands that were now placed on his lap. His mind filled with memories of the short time he had been given to spent with his father and how it had blown away from him.

The social services woman who was driving never said a word nor paid him any attention; Harry never even noticed.

He flashed back to how his father had just stood there and watched him leave his life, possibly forever. How could someone do that? If you loved someone...you weren't supposed to send them away.

Ignoring the rules of the road, Harry pulled his feet onto the seat so that he could wrap his arms around his legs and rest his face against his knees.

Sobs racked his form as his heart ached for his parents. Harry felt so helpless and in agony; the more he thought about it the deeper the betrayal sank into his heart and soul.

Over your head,
Trying not to drown.
Reaching for a breath,
Before it drags you down.
Caught in between,
All the pain you feel,
You lost control,
You're letting go,
But I never will.

'We're here.' The woman's voice broke Harry's unawareness and he glanced outside his window to see the looming building of Riverwave Orphanage; just when he thought his mood could sink no lower.

Sighing, Harry hung his head and slowly left the car. He followed the lady towards the gate and inside the main lobby where on of the employees, Hannah, brushed some blonde hair from her face. She turned and finally noticed the arrivals.

'Harry!' She gasped. 'Oh, thank the heavens! I couldn't believe it when they said they'd found you.' Hannah clearly didn't notice the dreadful expression upon the boy's face as he stared at the floor.

'Who's in charge?' The social services lady questioned Hannah while Harry began to tune out of the area and sounds around him.

'Lara is away with family and Jerry has gone someplace. It's just me and three others today.' Hannah was saying; Harry heard none of it.

Harry turned around and stared at the open doorway, tempted to just make a run for it the second he heard the mentioning of foster homes again.

I'm holding on for you,
I'm fighting for your life.
And when you're blinded by this jaded world,
I'll be your eyes.
Even if you fall,
I won't let you break.
When all the noise is telling you
To run away,
Run to me.

'Harry?' Hannah spoke to him. He glanced up and noticed that the social services lady had left. A silence filled the lobby for a brief moment.

'Do you realize the fright you gave us?' She frowned and he could only shrug.

'You're very lucky to be here right now.'

'I belong with my dad.' Harry finally spoke in a scowling tone that was so similar to the man he'd inherited it from.

'It may seem that way.' Hannah sighed. 'But sometimes things don't always work out how they're supposed to. Now come along, you're in quite some trouble, young man.' She nudged him towards a nearby office where an unfamiliar man sat behind the desk. He had dark hair, tanned skin and a crooked mustache.

Upon their arrival, he glanced up from the pile of files he had been staring at and nodded towards Hannah.

'Thank you, I shall take it from here.' The man glared at Harry.

'Sit down, boy.'

Harry did as he was told and partially wished he could have endured the lecture from Hannah rather than this stern man.

'Do you have any idea the trouble you have caused us?' He instantly raised his tone at Harry, who sat there stunned.

'I didn't mean to.' Harry defended himself.

'No? Than why did you even consider running away?' The man continued. 'You're here for a reason!'

'But it's wrong!' Harry shouted back as he jumped upright.

'You will be going into foster care first thing tomorrow morning.' The man ignored the boy's previous outburst and glanced down at a file on his desk.

'No.' Harry said with determination and stood upright . 'I don't belong in a foster home.'

'You're going.' The man growled and Harry shook his head again. 'You will do as I tell you!'

'No!' Harry declared even louder but stank into his chair when the man slammed his palms against the desk and glared at him. The man rounded the table and Harry was instantly reminded of his cruel uncle.

'I'm sorry!' Harry added quickly.

'That's not good enough.' The man eyed him.

'He's just a boy.' A deeper, calmer voice spoke from the doorway and both occupants in the room turned to stare at their visitor.

This man stood tall with every appearance of the highest authority. The other man who had been arguing with Harry instantly recoiled to his desk and busied himself with files.

'This child is refusing foster care, Kalvin.'

'I heard.' The newcomer, Kalvin, said with a stern nod. He looked down at Harry who was both defiant and scared. 'He's a mere child, do not expect him to understand the decisions of adults.'

'I don't wanna go.' Harry added.

'You have no choice in the matter.' Kalvin said. 'Pack your things, you're leaving tomorrow morning and that is that.'

Day after day,
After all you seen,
Its alright if you feel like unraveling.
I'll be right here.
I'm pushing out the walls,
To find the place,
Where you can stay,
Brave through it all.

Harry hated Kalvin because he had indeed done everything possible to make sure Harry did exactly what he didn't want to do; go into foster care.

He was placed with a couple who already had two other children of much younger ages to care for. As a result, they barely paid Harry any attention at all and that was fine with him as he spent every day sitting by the window in the living room and staring outside at the eventful streets.

After only a week, Harry was transfered to another foster home and the couple there tried to be nice to Harry and convince him to join in with some of the games they played with the other children. With each attempt they made, Harry refused.

Three weeks and eight foster care situations later and it was becoming very clear that it wasn't working. Kalvin insisted on sticking with the strategy as he knew children didn't recover overnight and some were particularly stubborn.

But the reports only got worst; Harry was detached, spent the days doing next to nothing, he was barely eating and his focus wouldn't remain on anything for more than a few fleeting minutes.

-- 

'It's getting worst.' Hannah sighed as she and Kalvin stared over their papers and turned to glance at Harry who was sitting in a chair in the lobby where he stared at a space on the floor.

'I agree.' Kalvin sighed heavily and frowned as he noticed a piece of paper he couldn't recall placing with that particular pile of forms.

'But there may be just one last chance.' He read it over and reached for the phone. 'The Piersons.'

'The Piersons?' Hannah gasped and stared at Harry again as though she either sympathized with him greatly or else was concerned about something involving how he was going to cope with such an arrangement.

'A-are you sure?' She whispered nervously.
Kalvin nodded and dialed the number.

I'm holding on for you,
I'm fighting for your life.
And when you're blinded by this jaded world,
I'll be your eyes.
Even if you fall,
I won't let you break.
When all the noise is telling you
To run away,
Run to me.

An hour ago Harry had been told to pack, which was ridiculous because he never unpacked his bag anyway and barely even touched any of his belongings; other than a few animal figurines he kept close to him at all times. He had just been informed that he was going to be staying long-term at a foster home and wasn't at all looking forward to it.

Harry had liked the change of sceneries and the way that it all felt so temporary...and that was about to be snatched from him too.

He was called to the lobby when Dylan and Sandy Pierson arrived. Harry didn't even look at them as he allowed the man to take his bag and ignored the woman's babbling about what to have for dinner. He got into the backseat of their silver car and instantly turned to gaze outside the window.

'Ah!' Harry jumped when the radio in their car suddenly burst with sounds of ear-splitting volume. He jerked away from the window and saw Sandy staring at him while Dylan prepared to start the engine.

'Now that we have you attention, listen up.' Sandy said. 'You will be sharing a bedroom with our adopted son, Tyler. He's twelve years old and will give you a tour of the house when we get there.'

Harry nodded and frowned. He distanced himself again and barely heard anything else that was said because he was determined to remain as far from what was going on around him as possible. Besides, he still felt terribly miserable.

It was part of his plan though; that Harry continued to show everyone that he doesn't belong in foster care and that he should be with his father. 

When I was lost,
Hanging on by a thread.
I knew I could run to you,
To find myself again.

Dylan glanced into the rear-view mirror and saw Harry's gaze drifting elsewhere.

'He's not hearing you.' He sighed and shook his head to stop Sandy attacking the radio again as it was an effective way to momentarily capture the boy's attention.

'Allow me.' Dylan extracted his wand from his sleeve and waved it. The windows of the car clouded black and Harry turned to stare at them.

'You can do magic?' Harry gasped.

'We certainly can.' Dylan nodded and returned his attention to the road, which was easy since he had so many safety and awareness charms in place that he barely had to do anything.

'Now stop dazing off and listen.' Sandy frowned at Harry. They gave the boy no choice but to hear her explanations of the basic rules and running of the household.

Harry had many questions but refused to show interest and merely nodded. He was tempted to stare out the window again even if it had shaded black but knew it was no use; these people were persistent. He hated them already and bit his lip to control his emotions the best he could.

The fact was that with every passing day...he only missed his father even more.

I'm holding on for you,
I'm fighting for your life.
And when you're blinded by this jaded world,
I'll be your eyes.
And even when you fall,
I won't let you break.
When all the noise is telling you
To run away,
Run to me.

The car came to a steady halt outside a large house and Harry was hesitant to approach the building as it did look rather nice. How much money did these people have, anyway?

'Welcome to your new home.' Sandy grinned.

'This is not home.' Harry scowled. 'This could never be home!'

'Hippogriff steps, dear.' Dylan sighed to Sandy and nudged Harry into the house, which was just as fancy as the exterior.

Everything about it was grand and welcoming, but Harry avoided taking in its appearance. He preferred to find his new place to spent the day staring at nothing and thinking of the life he wanted while also worrying about his mother.

'Tyler!' Sandy called out.

There was the sound of feet coming down the stairs towards the right before the twelve-year-old with light brown hair, blue eyes and olive skin came into view dressed in a pair of black pants and a green shirt.

'Oh, hey.' Tyler greeted his parents. 'You're back.' He glanced at Harry and narrowed his eyes although he tried to be polite. 'Hi.' He greeted.

Harry bit his lip and than nodded in returned greeting; he might as well not be too rude since he would be sharing a room with the older boy for a while.

'Show Harry to your room, would you?' Dylan suggested.

'Come on, it's right this way.' Tyler said and Harry followed after him while the adults retreated to the kitchen were a house-elf was baking cookies.

'Alright, get this straight.' Tyler was suddenly less-friendly once they were out of earshot of his parents. 'This is my room so I make the rules, got it? I'm not sharing with a crybaby nor someone who wants to yak all day about nothing. Keep to yourself and leave me alone.'

'I was planning to.' Harry scowled back. 'And I don't care if it's your room or not, you can't tell me what to do. I don't even want to be here.'

'You don't want to be here and I don't want you here...we'll get along fine.' Tyler smirked and pushed open the door with a sign that had the words “KEEP OUT!” plastered on the front.

Inside was a rectangle room with a single bed on either side. The part of the room on the right-hand side had magical and muggle posters littering the walls, mostly of bands but also famous Quidditch teams, and one very large poster of a blue sky with an eagle flapping in mid-flight. The bed was covered with books, so was the desk nearby and even its chair.

A bookshelf sat beside the blue-curtained window and a chest of drawers was directly across from that, near the desk. The bed covers were red and black with a golden snitch printed on it.

The other end of the room was far less interesting. There was a plain bed, a bedside table, a wardrobe, a chest of drawers and a desk with a chair. No posters, no choice bed covers, no curtain on his window...nothing.

It was like a bedroom and a guest room separated by an invisible line rather than a wall.

Tyler shoved some books aside and sat on his bed. Harry started unpacking briefly and dragged his desk chair over to the window so he could stare out it.

'You are so weird.' Tyler shook his head and snorted.

'Better to be weird than perfectly ordinary and common.' Harry retorted.

'Nice answer.' Tyler approved.

Harry wasn't sure how to feel about his unexpected company because on one side Tyler was rude and annoying but than he'd be casual and otherwise tolerant; Harry wasn't sure which was the primary personality trait in the older boy.

'Is it true you went to like ten other foster homes in a few weeks before you came here?' Tyler asked after a moment of silence. So much for keeping to themselves.

'Eight, actually. And yeah.' Harry sighed and turned to the other boy as he hoped he'd get the hint and shut up. Tyler noticed the look but bluntly ignored the silent request.

'That's impressive, yet you don't seem to be a trouble-causing brat.'

'Thank you, I think.' Harry frowned.

'No, I mean...what did you do to get sent away so quickly?' Tyler rolled his eyes. 'They almost never send anyone to us, unless they're half-bloods of course.'

'What's blood got to do with anything?' Harry frowned. 'And for your information, I'm not staying here either. I belong with my father.'

'It's not the blood thing.' Tyler answered. 'Dylan is a pureblood and Sandy is a muggleborn, so they foster half-blood kids to give them an equal chance at life. It's easier that way.' He shrugged and thought about what Harry had said about not staying.

'If you belonged with your father than you'd be there, not here. Isn't it obvious?' He rolled his eyes again.

'He doesn't want you.'

'He does so!' Harry jumped up, fueled by anger and denial. 'He thinks it's what's best for me, he thinks I'll be happier...but he's wrong!'

'Oh, you really think so?' Tyler jumped up as well and his own eyes blazed with irritation.

'I know so!' Harry shouted back.

'Is that true?' Sandy whispered to Dylan as they stood discreetly near the wall just a few feet from the open doorway where the boys continued to argue.

'Apparently.' Dylan sighed and pulled out his wand as he stepped into the room and cast Protego to prevent the exchange of fists that was in the process of occurring.

'This is going to be a long week.' Sandy sighed as she watched from the doorway as Dylan sorted the boys out and instilled several more rules to prevent further quarrels.

And it was a long week indeed, particularly for Harry.

He glared at Tyler across the table during every meal, resisted every attempt Sandy made to engage him in activities (Dylan was at work almost all day, ever day so no one saw him until it was almost time for dinner), Harry kept to himself in his room or outside in the backyard – usually whichever of the two Tyler wasn't at – and did everything possible to distance himself.

There was one flaw however, because it became painfully clear that he wasn't going anywhere and the Piersons weren't too bothered about his attitude, merely annoyed that their methods weren't working.

It was a bright Monday morning when things changed for Harry, in a way he had not only never thought to be possible. It also wasn't something he considered to be a good thing.

Having woken from a nightmare, Harry had gone downstairs for a glass of water and spotted Dylan in his work clothes. He gasped and stared at the man, finally taking in his appearance more fully for the first time since he had be forced into the household.

'It's you!' Harry pointed and Dylan turned to smirk at him. His appearance was something Harry never bothered to give glance at before as he fixated on the floor or his food almost all the time, and yet...now it was painfully clear as to who this man was.

Dylan Pierson had messy, brown hair and browner eyes, a golden wedding ring on his left hand and a red one on his right. His work clothes consisted of lime-green robes with an emblem of a crossed bone and wand.

They had met before.

He had stared at Harry right before the last time the boy had seen Lily. This was the man that stared at him from a distance, shocked to see him as though they somehow knew each other. And than he'd warned Harry against using his magic to help his mother because he had somehow known that Harry had wanted to do so.

'B-But...it can't be.'

'About time you noticed.' Dylan said with amusement. ' I couldn't believe it myself at first. When I saw you in St. Mungos, I knew instantly that you're the son of Lily and Severus. There was no mistaking it. And than who should end up in my care, but you?'

'I bet you used magic to get me here. Tyler said you like to foster half-bloods.' Harry frowned and he was far more distrustful of his temporary guardian.

'Yeah, I did!' Dylan laughed. He shook his head when Harry crossed his arms and glared at him.

'You look just like your father when you do that.' Dylan commented and was apparently entirely unbothered by the situation.

'I am his son.' Harry scowled. 'I belong with him. And mum.'

'Would you give it up already?' Tyler wandered into the kitchen and rolled his eyes at Harry, who proceeded to pretend away his annoying existence.

'Tyler, a little sympathy goes a long way.' Dylan frowned at his son. 'Harry is not here to replace you.'

Tyler turned and shrugged. Although he seemed to relax a notch before he wandered outside with his broomstick.

'Why does he hate me so much?' Harry watched Tyler leave.

'Harry, you and Tyler are not too different.' Dylan said and leaned against the counter. Harry stood there in his pajamas to stare at him with interest, although the boy tried to hide it.

'Have you heard of Death Eaters?' He wondered seriously. Harry nodded as he suppressed a shiver.

'Well, they killed Tyler's birth parents when he was very young. He than lived with his grandmother until she died of an incurable illness when he was eight, almost nine – just a year younger than you are now.' Dylan explained.

Sandy joined them in the kitchen to make herself some toast and remained distant from the moment although she listened intently and watched Harry's reactions.

'He was put into a foster home and than within a week, brought here.' Dylan continued.

'It was barely three years ago that we adopted him as our own son. It works perfectly for all of us. We could never have children ourselves and Tyler is truly a gift. As you were told, I am a pureblood and Sandy is a muggleborn. We both went to Hogwarts together too.'

'I heard about Hogwarts.' Harry commented as he sadly thought of how his father had told him all about the magical school he would attend one day.

'My parents went too. Mum was in Gryffindor and dad Slytherin – their friendship inspired others because their houses were meant to be rivals.'

'True.' Sandy nodded and glanced at her husband with a sly smirk. 'I think you should tell him.'

'Tell me what?' Harry anxiously glanced from one to the other.

'I was in Gryffindor too.' Dylan revealed. 'Sandy was in Ravenclaw and was prefect in fifth and sixth year. We didn't meet properly until she started playing Quidditch in our last year and we played against each other.' He nodded.

'Are you familiar with James Potter and Sirius Black?'

'Not really, but I heard a little about them.' Harry answered cautiously. 'Why?'

'I was on the Quidditch team with them.' Dylan grinned at the fond memories. 'James was an excellent captain and Seeker. He rather fancied your mother, if I recall.'

'And who wouldn't?' Sandy added.

Harry fidgeted and didn't like this conversation; it was making him open up again and become more curious and interested. He had vowed to never like anyone or find even the slightest attachment in any situation and yet, with their tales, it was terribly difficult.

'Your father wasn't too fond of James and Sirius, naturally.' Dylan sighed. 'That extended to me occasionally but I mostly kept out of his way. Your mother never left his side though, whenever possible. And now with her situation at St. Mungos...he is repaying that loyalty.'

'It's rather sad, really.' Sandy lowered her gaze to the half-eaten toast in her hand.

'Mum's going to get better and than she'll make dad bring me home.' Harry said confidently although his hope and conviction was faltering with each passing day.

Scowling at their reluctant expressions, he turned and stormed back upstairs, slamming the bedroom door as he went.

'We adopted Tyler.' Sandy moved forward and rested her chin on Dylan's shoulder from behind. 'We want to adopt Harry as well, but you know that won't sit well with his father just yet.'

'I know.' Dylan stared after the temperamental boy. 'But he's cracking, Sandy...we're getting through to him.'

'How could Severus abandon his own son?' She growled.

'He believes that this is what's best for Harry.' Dylan glanced at the counter and shook his head. 'But we can't do anything until...'

'I know.' Sandy sighed reluctantly. 'I know. We must.'

Tyler stepped away from the partially-open doorway and mused to himself. He sighed and ruffled his hair to put on an appearance of having just got off his broomstick.

He entered the house and bid his father goodbye as Dylan was heading off to work. Tyler left his broom by the door and headed upstairs. He made sure he blocked the doorway of his shared room so that Harry couldn't escape.

'What do you bloody want?' Harry snarled moodily at him, although it faded when he remembered what he'd been hold about the older boy.

'In case you haven't noticed, I'm in Ravenclaw.' Tyler glanced towards the posters on his wall and the colour scheme.

'Therefore naturally I'm smart and I've figured out a few things.'

'I don't care; leave me alone.' Harry rolled onto his stomach on his bed and buried his face under his pillow in attempt to block out the world.

'Maybe your father does want you, after all.' Tyler said and Harry instantly re-emerged to stare at him.

'I can actually see his point. Sending you away would be better for the situation, although no better for those involved.' He shrugged and once he was sure Harry wasn't going to up and leave, Tyler moved to sit at his own desk and glanced across the room at the younger boy.

'Go on.' Harry encouraged as he raised a suspicious eyebrow. 'There's got to be more.'

'Let's face it, you don't want to be here and I don't want you here either...so maybe we could work together?' Tyler offered. 'If my parents think you're miserable, they're not going to send you away. But if you're happy, you may never leave.'

'What's your point?' Harry grumbled. 'I don't see success in either of those situations.'

'You've seen my dad before, haven't you? Where was it?' Tyler raised a smug eyebrow.

'Er, St. Mungos?' Harry shrugged but than a spark lit in his mind and it began to make sense to him.'Wait! He was in the same clothes as a healer...he works there!'

'Exactly.' Tyler grinned. 'I suppose, since I realize you're not quite a git after all...I'll tell you something I overheard last night.'

'You have a habit of that.' Harry snorted and all anger towards the other boy that had build up in the past few days gradually vanished.

'Do you want to hear it or not?' Tyler narrowed his eyes and Harry fell silent.

'Thought so. Alright, dad's going to sneak you in to see your mother on the one day a week that the healer Jensen doesn't work the ward. You father – as you still prefer to call him – only visits five days a week and therefore the situation is 90% flawlessly safe.'

'So...I'll get to see mum?' Harry grinned back. 'Brilliant.'

'On one condition.' Sandy spoke from the doorway. Both boys jumped with surprised and appeared rather guilty once they realized they'd been caught.

'Yes, we knew you were listening Tyler and had hoped that you would tell Harry.' She smirked.

'What's the condition?' Harry asked instantly.

'Dylan wants to help Lily get better too, but we have to do things the right way.' Sandy said seriously.

'This arrangement will only continue if you agree to follow each and every rule we give you.'

'I promise.' Harry nodded eagerly. The truth was, however, that he would say anything just to see his mother again.

'This may or may not work out, but at least it's a start.' Sandy sighed.

'I don't care.' Harry told her seriously. 'I'll do anything.'

'Yes.' Sandy lowered her gaze with a gravely worried expression on her face and she shook her head with a heavy sigh before she whispered to herself again.

'That's what we're afraid of.'