"We all have choices we have to make Mr. Potter, and we must all pay the consequences for those choices. The question is, will you continue to pay the unpleasant consequences for your less than desirable choices, or will you choose another path?"

Snape's words echoed in Harry's mind yet again as he sat in the Great Hall by himself at lunch. The man had pulled him into his office after Potions that morning just to talk to him... no detention required this time.

Harry stared down at his sandwich, not hungry in the slightest. He'd begun to believe that just maybe Snape was beginning to understand him, but now he knew how wrong he had been. Nobody understood, and nobody ever could.

He might have been inclined to believe the man at some point in time, about there being consequences for people's actions, but that just wasn't true. The Dursley's never paid any consequences for treating him as they did. They never paid a single consequence for refusing to feed him or for making him sleep in the cupboard under the stairs every year when he returned home from school. They would never pay for what they did this summer. No, Snape was full of himself, either that or extremely naïve.

The only thing he was right about was that they all had choices. That was something Harry knew well. He had consistently been taking control of his life via his own choices all year now, ever since he'd been back to school. Even if the others considered them ‘less desirable' choices, they were his, and he would not let others control him.

Anger filling him at the way Snape thought he could step in and try to take control, Harry turned his chin up and glared at the staff table where Snape was talking to Dumbledore. He turned back to the table and wondered what he could do to piss Snape off. He was tired of the man's false patience and false caring. Stupid pratt. He hated him and the way he made Harry feel like he was the jerk... like he was the one something was wrong with.

Seeing the bowl full of mashed potatoes in front of him and seeing Draco across the hall laughing at something somebody had said, Harry impulsively whipped out his wand and sent the mashed potatoes across the hall at Draco's head. There, two birds with one stone he thought smugly. That would show Draco to screw with him and show Snape that Harry knew exactly what making choices was about.

The mashed potatoes dumped themselves over Draco's pristine blond hair and he stood up shouting. Harry turned his chin up at Snape again with a defiant look and then stood up and marched out of the Great Hall, ready for whatever detention would be his ‘consequences' for his actions.

Instead of Snape marching out of the Great Hall however, Draco came instead. Harry had just turned expecting to see Snape attached to the hurried footsteps, but was caught off guard as Draco shoved him hard in the chest, knocking him to the floor.

"What the hell is wrong with you Potter?" Draco spat down at him, still covered in potatoes. "You wonder why the hell nobody likes you? Figure it the feck out!"

Harry scoffed. "Why don't you look at your own actions before you criticize mine." He pushed himself up just as Snape marched into the Entrance Hall.

"Mr. Malfoy, I suggest you take a shower and clean yourself up before your next class."

"Potter, come with me." He swept past the boys and Harry turned on his heel to follow the angry Potion's Master.

As soon as they were in Snape's office, Harry wasn't sure if he was pleased or dismayed to find that Snape's attitude had indeed changed. The calm exterior he had presented all year had vanished and was replaced by the familiar old Snape. Harry swallowed, and tried to be ready for whatever the man would do to him.

"Did what I said this morning mean nothing to you!?" He spat it out angrily, and Harry fought to stand his ground.

"You're a liar!" Harry shouted angrily. The anger had been boiling in him since the last time he'd been there, less than two hours ago. "There's no consequences for people's actions!"

"You will receive detention for the stunt you just pulled."

"What about Draco!" Harry said angrily. "He shoved me in the Great Hall!"

"He was provoked," the Professor said, some of his calmness settling back over him again.

In contrast, Harry shouted, "I was provoked!"

Severus narrowed his eyes. "You will explain."

Crossing his arms, Harry plopped into the chair, not ready to explain anything. Severus also sat behind his desk, and waited patiently.

"Mr. Potter, I asked you a question."

"He cornered me in the library Christmas Eve and..." and he didn't want to finish that thought.

"And what?"

"And nothing sir."

Severus eyed him carefully for long moments, before sitting forward in his chair and saying, "I had hoped what I had told you earlier would make an impact Mr. Potter. I had perhaps not considered that you were already aware of what I was saying."

Harry eyed him suspiciously. Was he admitting he was wrong?

"Regardless of provocation however, it was inappropriate to take vengeance as you did."

Suppressing the urge to growl, Harry crossed his arms and looked away. "Regardless of provocation, Draco took vengeance on me in the Entrance Hall anyway, and he isn't getting any ‘consequences'," he snarked.

"Mr. Malfoy will be hearing from me later. It was necessary that I speak to you first, and also that he be allowed to clean up. Do not make assumptions about others simply because you do not see what you wish to see." His voice was stern, and Harry glanced over at him before turning his head to the side again. Severus knew the boy was pretending not to listen, but was listening anyway. Good, he thought, because he wasn't going to repeat himself again with what he had to say next.

With a sigh, Severus crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair.

"Mr. Potter, we are going to try something different."

Yes, there were Harry's eyes flitting up to meet his in curiosity. He was listening after all, though he remained silent.

"Punishing you for your misbehavior seems to have gotten us nowhere. You continue to do as you please despite the consequences." Harry stuck his chin out a little bit, and Severus was sure if he looked in on the boy's thoughts the boy would have been thinking, ‘good.' He continued on regardless.

"Do you still wish to gain a spot on the second string team?"

"Yes." Harry uncrossed his arms and sat up, though his eyes remained narrow with suspicion.

"Then you have gained it. Elissa has been moved to Slytherin first string and there is an open Beater position."

Harry seemed to be thinking it over as Severus pulled out an old roster and made a show of scratching Harry's name down, despite that it was already down on another copy.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Because I am in need of a Beater Potter, and you are in need of a lesson."

"In flying? Ha." He scoffed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms again.

Severus leaned forward and said, "In life Potter." This received an eye roll from Harry, but Severus ignored it.

"You are already aware of when practices are. They will continue as scheduled unless you are otherwise informed by myself. You will wear a coat until spring when the snow thaws and the wind dies down." Here Severus opened up a desk drawer and tossed a pair of black gloves on the desk in front of Harry. "You will also wear those, and you will do explicitly as I say, or you will be suspended from the team. Am I understood?"

"Yes sir." Severus caught the hint of surprise and excitement in the Gryffindor's voice.

"You will not receive more than one detention this week, or you will not practice Saturday and Sunday. We have an upcoming game against the Hogsmeade Garrison in two weeks, and if you do not play in the next four practices, you will not play in the match."

"We play games?"

Severus gave a stern look at Harry. "Yes Potter. The four house teams are not the only teams in the area. The Hogsmeade Garrison is made up of shopkeepers and occasionally guest players. All of them were on their house teams in school, and one is a seasonal back up player for the Appleby Arrows."

"We get to play in the Pitch?"

"No. There is a pitch on the other side of the Forbidden Forest on the edge of Hogsmeade."

The boy was smiling despite himself and Severus felt the need to remind him of the rules. "Remember Mr. Potter. Too many mis-steps and you will be useless to me because you will be warming up the bench."

"Yes sir," Harry said, as he stood to go, gloves in hand.

After Harry had left the office, Severus wondered if he had finally gone crazy, allowing the child space on his team. If anything, he thought to himself, the other team members would keep him in line. This team wasn't like the house teams. They were woven tightly together and there was no room for deviance, because from here there was no where else to go. There was no third string to fall back to, and there was not a surplus of players to call in to play if one of them got kicked off the team or had to sit out a game. Even during practice if one was missing, it was difficult to train them in the way they needed to be trained. What many didn't know was that while some of the second stringers never made it to their house teams, many of them had a passion for Quidditch so great that they often went on to try out and join professional teams after graduating.

Conjuring himself a headache potion from his private stores, Severus knew that Decklan and some of the other team members would not be happy about his choice, and prepared himself for the complaints he was sure to get. Let this be the right decision he prayed, lest everyone be affected negatively.

* * *

Three people pushed past Harry roughly, each hitting Harry's right shoulder, and he grunted, noting that the last and hardest hit had come from Decklan, the team's captain. Hmpff. Let them be pissed that he was on the team. He'd show them that he could hold his own. Decklan didn't even belong as a Seeker. As if sensing Harry's thoughts, Decklan turned and gave Harry a sneer. Professor Snape must have already said something to them about not complaining, although it was clear by the way they acted and had acted previously that they didn't want Harry there.

Harry waited patiently in the snow, warm in Ron's old coat and the gloves Snape had given him, and watched the others interact. Of the nine of them there were two Gryffindor's, himself and the third year Keeper Devon Pearce. Harry had never had any interaction with him, but he'd seen him often in the common room. The two Slytherins were Harry's beater partner Nathaniel Shield's, a second year, and one of the chasers Ethan Holcomb, who was in fifth year.

The other two main chasers were Grace Goddard, a fourth year Hufflepuff, and Blake O'Toole, a fifth year Ravenclaw. The two back up Chasers were Angel Hawke a fourth year Ravenclaw, and a third year Hufflepuff named Faith Hunt. That just left Decklan Ingram, who was the eldest of them there, and who also belonged to Hufflepuff.

Harry shook his head. In December he'd spent his time sitting on the tree stump, determined to make the team. Now he was here and he was determined to play in the match in a few weeks just to show everybody up, including those on Gryffindor team who wanted nothing to do with him. He felt a pang remembering that Ginny was on the team, and that she also wanted nothing to do with him. She wouldn't even look at him these days.

"It is time to begin," Snape said loudly after a short blast of the black whistle that hung around his neck. The team stopped talking and gathered in a circle in front of their coach. Some were determined not to look at Harry, and others determined to scare him away with their glares. Harry ignored them however, and tried to focus on what Snape was telling them.

"I want Ethan, Grace, and Blake doing Billing's drills today and I want Angel and Faith trying to steal the ball while they're drilling. Devon, watch the top goal post today. You were a little slow stopping goals through it last week, but don't ignore the side posts either.

"Decklan, you'll be searching for the Snitch and practicing avoidance tactics while Nathaniel and Harry practice Beater tactics on the team. Questions?"

There were nine headshakes and Severus waved them into the air. What fun, Harry thought. I get to use Decklan as target practice. He caught a look from Snape that said Snape knew what he was thinking, but Harry noted no look of concern or reprimand for his plans, so he leapt on his broom and took off, reveling in the familiar feeling of wind in his hair.

Beater bat in hand Harry watched for Snape to release the two Bludgers and zipped off after one that flew into the air. He was going to take every chance to smash it Decklan's way. Unfortunately for Harry, he needed to catch the Bludger before he could do anything with it, and this particular Bludger acted more like a Snitch than anything else, winding it's way through players and dodging him at every turn.

Harry wasn't a Seeker for nothing he decided, and took chase, employing the old maneuvers he'd learned while playing for Gryffindor to pick up speed and wind his way in and out of the other players. Finally he caught up with the blasted thing and took aim, aware that Decklan was about fifty feet directly above him.

The Bludger flew straight up into the air, and Harry watched with satisfaction as Decklan was forced to swerve out of the way to miss being hit in the face with it. He glared down at Harry, but Harry was already on his way after the Bludger again, and this time had caught up with it after only a minute, and had aimed it at Decklan again, hitting him in the left arm just as he reached out for the Snitch.

Harry waited for a blast from the whistle from below, but it didn't come, so he took chase after the Bludger again, and twice more forced Decklan to swerve or dive just in time to avoid getting smashed with it. Just as he grinned at seeing Decklan dive towards the ground, Harry was taken by surprise as the second Bludger hit him straight in the back of the head, knocking him sideways and causing a ringing in his ears. He turned to see Nathaniel looking shocked, yet angry, bat in hand, and then forced his broom to the ground before he fell off of it. This time he did hear the whistle, and he landed with a dull thud in the snow, staggering off his broom. He'd been hit with a Bludger more times than he could count, including sustaining four broken bones, but he'd never been hit square in the head with one.

"Potter, are you injured?"

Harry blinked hard, trying to keep his vision from swimming so he could see Snape standing in front of him, and nodded. "Yes sir." His searching eyes found Nathaniel a few feet to the left of Snape, and he glared hard at him.

"Practicing Beater tactics is more about aiming at opposing players," Severus said, causing Harry to frown. "You are also required to practice aiming by passing the ball between yourself and the other Beater, as well as defending your own players from impending injury from opposing Beater attack."

"Yes sir," Harry said.

"Good." Snape blew the whistle and they rose back into the air, although Harry rather felt like he was going to be sick and his vision was still swimming. Perhaps he shouldn't have lied and just gone to the Hospital Wing. But what good would that have done? It would have shown them all he was a wimp who couldn't handle the game. No, that wouldn't do at all.

Squinting hard through his glasses, Harry found the second year Slytherin across the clearing waiting with his bat, and nodded. Nathaniel gave a nod back and chased after one of the Bludgers before aiming it at Harry. Harry swung wildly and was lucky to hit it back to Nathaniel. They went back and forth several times before Nathaniel chased after the other Bludger in order to keep it from hitting Grace. He made it just in time and aimed it at Blake instead.

Two hours later, Harry was grateful to hear Snape's whistle signaling the end of practice. His head throbbed horribly and he still felt like he was going to lose his lunch, although he hadn't eaten lunch yet.

The other players trudged through the two foot deep snow towards Snape so he could give them final directions about picking up equipment and taking it back to the storage room, but Harry stood where he was, feeling unsteady on his legs.

Severus noticed that Harry was not there with the team just in time to look up and see him tip sideways, before disappearing into the soft snow on the ground. Nothing could ever be easy with that boy.

* * *

His trip to the Hospital Wing only served to remind Harry how things had changed in his life. Once upon a time if he had been knocked out cold in Quidditch practice, he would have woken up to his team and friends surrounding him and congratulating him on another magnificent battle wound. Now he woke up to a quiet, empty Hospital Wing.

Well, not quite empty. There was someone with long red hair sitting on another bed with her back to him.

"Ginny?"

He sat up as she turned to him, holding her arm. He could see that she'd been crying.

"What happened?" He asked, but she only sniffled and turned away again.

Madam Pomfrey was nowhere in sight and Harry hated to see her sitting there like that. She was the only one he was sorry he'd wronged and chased away like he had. Climbing out of his bed on unsteady legs, his head throbbed horribly, but he still made his way over to her and sat down beside her.

"Ginny, what happened?" Her arm was black and blue and he could tell from the bump in it near her wrist that it was broken.

"Nothing," she said trying to stifle a sob of pain. "Nothing at all."

Harry frowned and looked closer at the bruises. He didn't know what madam Pomfrey would think, but it definitely looked like finger prints.

"Who did that?"

She turned and glared at him and said with angry tears in her eyes, "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been such a jerk!" Crying with full force now she stood up and went to another bed a few beds down just as Madam Pomfrey bustled out of her office.

"Oh dear, what's happened to you?" she asked Ginny, who still had tears running down from her eyes. She saw the hand prints and then looked up to give a glare at Harry who was out of his bed.

"It wasn't me!" Harry shouted. "I'd never do that!"

"There's a lot of things I thought you'd never do Mr. Potter," Madam Pomfrey said before turning her attention back to Ginny.

Angry, Harry stood up and made his way back to his bed, but not before his legs gave out and he hit the floor hard just near his bed. He groaned, but no help came to him. Just as he heard Ginny say quietly, "It wasn't him. It was Avery," he hefted himself up off the floor and back into his bed. Two things went through his mind at that moment. The first was that Madam Pomfrey had jumped on the McGonagall/Dursley bandwagon, and no longer gave a damn about him. The second was that he was going to kill Avery McGregor, the seventh year Ravenclaw Ginny had been dating recently. He made eye contact with Ginny as Madam Pomfrey rushed back to her office to get some potions, and then passed out again as the pounding in his head overtook him, falling sideways on the bed.

* * *

Ginny's word wasn't enough to prove that Avery had broken her wrist, and by Monday, when Harry had gotten out of the Hospital Wing from his concussion, Avery was sitting smug at Ravenclaw table. Harry glared heavily at him from across the hall, and knew that he wasn't the only one. Ron was looking murderous as well. There was a difference between him and Ron though, and that was that Harry had already sullied his name, whatever that meant. Ron was still too good for what Harry was going to do to Avery.

For the next two days Harry stalked Avery. He skipped every class just to follow Avery and learn his schedule. He didn't eat in favor of watching Avery across the hall. He couldn't even sleep because he was so angry about what had happened to Ginny and that the pratt wouldn't even be expelled or punished at all for what he'd done.

Finally on Wednesday night Harry found his opportunity to seek vengeance, Snape's words about not taking vengeance despite provocation nowhere to be found in his mind. Avery left the Great Hall after dinner by himself. It was still early and most of the students were still eating. Harry left the table, fists clenched and eyes straight ahead. Nine sets of eyes followed him from the hall... those of his team and Snape, though nobody who saw Harry with the look he wore would have any doubt about the fact that Harry was about to earn some sort of severe punishment.

Harry followed Avery up through the castle towards Ravenclaw tower, unaware that a few floors down Devon and Ethan followed and that close behind them was Snape.

Just as Avery made the portrait that would let him into Ravenclaw, Harry stepped out from the shadows.

"Think you're a big man, hurting her like that?"

Avery turned and scoffed. "Shove off Potter."

Harry stalked up to him and stared up into the older boy's eyes. Avery was a good three inches taller than him and outweighed him by nearly eighty pounds, most of it muscle.

"I asked you a question," Harry said in a deadly tone.

Laughing with a deep laugh, Avery shook his head. "And what're yeh going to do about it Potter? Yeh're not as bad as yeh like everybody to think. And I'm not going to admit to anything. So go on yeh little shite. What're yeh goin' the do about it?" He laughed hard, but in the next second Harry said, "This," and punched him square in the nose, breaking it and forcing the bigger teen down to the ground.

"And this!" Harry kneed him in the face and then kicked him in the crotch.

"And this!" He continued his tirade until Avery's face was covered in blood and he was on the floor crying and trying to shield himself.

Two pairs of hands grabbed Harry's arms to keep him off the other boy, but Harry was too incensed to know that it was Decklan and Ethan.

"Admit it!" Harry shouted angrily, continuing to kick him and fight his way back towards him despite his team mate's attempt to keep him off. "Admit what you did to her! Admit that you broke her arm!"

"I did it! I did it! Stop hitting me!" Avery cried out in a full sob now. Harry gave him one more good kick before a third pair of strong hands grabbed him from behind and dragged him backwards.

Breathing heavily Harry looked up into Snape's eyes and then looked away, ashamed at what he had done, but satisfied that there would be justice for Ginny, if in no other way than that Harry had punished him the way he had punished her.

"Hold him," he heard Snape instruct, and then Decklan used his arm across Harry's shoulders to pin Harry against the wall. Harry shook and tried to control his breath as he looked towards the ground and determined himself not to look at Decklan. In the background he was aware that Snape was questioning Avery and his involvement with Ginny's injuries and that Avery was confessing and begging for medical attention.

Other professors arrived shortly because Snape had sent Ethan to fetch them and Madam Pomfrey, and Harry continued to allow himself to be pinned as he felt his shame for becoming as bad as the others who had treated him as horribly as he had just done to Avery. He didn't know that Decklan studied him carefully and saw the look of shame.

"Potter, we will have words." Decklan let Harry up from the wall quietly, but in the next second Snape had grabbed the back of Harry's shirt roughly and was dragging him down the hall and away from the commotion that he had caused.

"That was nothing short of despicable," Snape said angrily into Harry's ear as he led him away. He said similar things all the way down through the castle but Harry continued to stare at the floor. People gaped at him as he was half dragged half marched through the Entrance Hall knuckles and shoes covered in blood, including Ginny, Ron, and Hermione, but he didn't notice. All he heard was silence and the words, ‘You'll be no better than your father.' They were words aunt Marge had said to him his whole life, and all Harry could think was that the only father figure he had was Uncle Vernon, and that she was right. He was no better.

Thrown roughly into Snape's visitor chair Harry put his head in his hands and began to cry. Severus simply stared at him for long moments.

"You are beyond my help Mr. Potter." He sighed as Harry didn't seem to hear him and continued to cry. "Violence is not tolerated at Hogwarts, and I cannot tolerate it. You are off the team. Even without what you have just done, you have done nothing to give your team mates any indication that you belong with them."

Harry looked up, eyes red, and said quietly, "It doesn't matter that they hate me sir. I don't belong on your team." He stood up and walked to the door. Back to his Professor, the last to finally give up on him, Harry said, "I hate myself," and was gone, not back into Gryffindor tower, but off into the icy night, where he hoped to be alone and pass out in his shame, or else disappear for good.