The following day, Severus was nervous, and it certainly showed. Harry didn't say anything, but Severus was sure Harry knew something was up. During breakfast, Severus opted to stare at his french toast instead of eating. His stomach was in knots, and he knew if he ate anything, it would be coming back up later.

The prospect of Harry rejecting him ate at him. He could clearly imagine the boy laughing at his face with the phrase "Why would anybody want you?" dancing off his tongue. Everytime he saw Harry, he had to look away. On more than one occasion, he opened his mouth to say the words, but nothing came out. He didn't understand. He was a spy, an ex-Death Eater, a soldier. He had faced plenty of hardships before, so why did the prospect of Harry never being in his life hurt so much? Before his mother mentioned it, he hadn't a care in the world what would have happened during the summer, but now he was willing to do front flips to get him to stay with him. He was getting soft, and honestly, he didn't know what to think about it.

He also knew, that with Harry becoming his ward, that he had to let Harry in on a few secrets in his life that he would rather keep hidden. He couldn't keep the boy in the dark about his past forever. Eventually, especially when they went to Hogwarts, it would come up. He didn't know how the boy would react, but he knew it would seal his fate one way or the other.

Harry seemed to have enough of mopey Severus when it came lunch time. Harry kept staring at him over his sandwich, prompting him to say something with those big green eyes. Severus swallowed, not only the bite of food, but the large baseball sized lump that was clogging his throat. He met Harry's eyes, and could clearly see the message running through the boy's mind:

Say something, damn it. I know you want to, so why don't you just spit it out already?

Although usually he would rebuke the boy on his choice of words, right then he could understand the boy's frustration. He was giving off questions, but not the answers the kid so clearly wanted. His eyes were narrowed, the green sparkling with confusion, and his wings twitched, a motion he seemed to have gotten from Lily.

After another bite, Harry put down his sandwich and just stared, tired of discretely giving hints. An eyebrow raised, and Severus sighed, putting down his sandwich as well. It was now or never, he supposed. The constant what if's were dancing in his head, and he tried his hardest to push them aside.

"Harry..." he began. How would one start this? "I have recently come to a conclusion, one that concerns the both of us..."

He could see the boy's, whose eyes were once filled with curiosity, suddenly fill with the slightest bit of fear.

"Are you going to send me away?" Harry blurted out. Severus blinked.

"Merlin no, child! No, I would never do that," he said, although at one point he knew he would have without a moment's thought.

"It's something good, or at least, I hope it will be, if you would let it..." Good Merlin, Severus, just spit it out already!

Harry's eyes perked, no longer scared. "Yeah?" he prompted.

Good God, this seemed to be harder than he thought. "If you will let me, or rather, if you will want me, would you be okay with me ado--well, what I mean to say..." Dammit!

"Do you want to be a family? Will you let me adopt you?" he finally rushed out.

It was quiet for a long time. Harry just stared at him, not moving, not blinking, completely immobile. It looked like Severus broke him. Just when Severus began to have doubts and regret his words, a wide smile slowly spread across Harry's face. His eyes brightened, to where they were rivaling Dumbledore's in brilliancy.

"Yes!" Harry said, hopping up out of his seat. "A thousand times yes!" He hugged Severus, knocking the wind out of him. His wings wrapped around him, and Severus returned the gesture.

Harry pulled back after a moment. "You want me?" he asked, his breath coming in a bewildered whisper.

Severus nodded. "Only if you want me," he replied, guilt rushing through his entire body.

"Of course I would want you! Why wouldn't I? You're one of the nicest people ever!" Severus tried not to flinch at the words. Oh, if Harry only knew the truth, he wouldn't be so eager to accept Severus' question...

"Harry," he said solemnly. The boy looked at him, his smile still etched on, but an air of confusion surrounded him. "Before we get on with this process, I need to tell you something. This something may change your mind, and if it does, I wouldn't blame you. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you want nothing to do with me afterwards, but I need to tell you this. I can't have you kept in the dark any more."

Harry looked seriously confused now, and his smile had started to droop. "What?" he asked, his voice small.

Severus licked his dry lips. His heart fluttered a mile a minute, and he was sure Harry could hear it beating. "Why don't you follow me to the living room? The dining table is no place to have this conversation."

Harry let go of him, and Severus stood, although it felt like his knees were going to give away. It felt harder than when he had to tell Rose and Joe that he was a Death Eater. Back then, he hadn't looked them in the eyes. He knew he was wrong, and the disappointment that was sure to follow nearly made him want to cry. He had been surprised when both Joe and Rose had simply engulfed him in a hug. Instead of being angry, like he thought they would, they had understood he had made a mistake. Hopefully Harry understood like his grandparents had.

The couch felt like cement as he sat down. His arm felt like it was burning, and the mark weighed heavily, like a hundred pounds. He unwrapped the gauze from his arm, and even though it was faded, the skull and snake was clearly visible on his pale skin. He heard Harry draw in a breath at the image, and he reached out to touch it, but Severus' arm flinched back on its own accord. His eyes found a patch of carpet in the corner and stayed there, refusing to look Harry in the eyes like the coward he was. He didn't want to see Harry's look of anger. He didn't want to see the betrayal that would no doubt be written across his young face. He knew it would just tear him up inside. He tried to draw in a deep breath, but the wind got caught in his throat. Before he could even think of what to say, his mouth opened, and he was spilling his story.

.'.

Harry listened as Severus whispered his tale. His eyes widened and narrowed at different spots, and at some points he felt like he had been sucker punched in the stomach by Dudley over and over again.

His first reaction to Severus' story was anger. Pure, unadulterated, anger. The man he had knew was stripped away and replace by a monster. How could anyone join Voldemort, and expect to receive forgiveness? His earlier comment was ripped to pieces and thrown away in the wind. Harry felt betrayed. He had been living with this man for weeks! Had all of it been a facade?

His anger dribbled away however, when he saw the look on the older man's face. He refused to look at Harry, but Harry could clearly see the torment and regret that filled the features he could see. His shoulders shook and his wings drooped, and it looked like the man didn't have the will to raise them up. He hiccuped his words out, and had to put his fist to his mouth from preventing sobs from escaping when he told of the death of Harry's parents. It was a completely different image of the man he knew, but then again, he didn't really know the man if the conversation said anything.

He could tell that Severus was still harboring guilt of his younger days. He was gripping his arm with the strange tattoo, which he now knew was the Dark Mark that every follower received. He was scratching at it, as if trying to tear it away, but he didn't seem to realize that he was doing it. Dark red streaks followed Severus' nails. Harry could see other scars on the arm, no doubt from previous years when Severus had tried everything to get rid of it. He could see a clump of scarred tissue that had never fully healed from when he tried to cut it off soon after getting the mark.

Before Severus could do any more damage to his arm, Harry gripped his hand, stopping him. Watery eyes met his, and Harry was struck with how much younger he looked. He recalled that Severus said that he was going to be only thirty-one on his next birthday, and a wave of sadness hit him.

This man had so much ahead of him, and it was thrown away from a mistake he made when he was a depressed youth. All the anger Harry had felt at the beginning of the story vanished completely. He could understand why he had done it. He had been outcasted, and the sister he loved no longer wanted him as a brother because he had said the wrong thing at the wrong time. He had been depressed, and as such tried to find acceptance somewhere else, only later realizing his mistake and tried to fix it by becoming a spy. Harry could get that. He had wanted acceptance and love from someone so long, and that someone came in the form of Severus. If Severus hadn't have come when he did, he would have been sent back to the Dursleys, where he would have been beaten, starved, and made to work all hours of the day. He never would have learned to fly, or met his grandparents, or met Neville. He wouldn't of had Spin, or got the chance to have Hades, if only for a short while. It was because of Severus that Harry had a happier life. Now it was Harry's turn to make Severus' life happy.

"Severus, it's okay," Harry whispered, putting as much emotion and love into his voice that he could. Severus didn't say anything, but his eyes had a look of confusion in them. Harry's grip on the other man's tightened. Severus reluctantly squeezed back.

"How can you say that?" Severus croaked, his voice disbelieving. Harry had the feeling Severus had this conversation before. Even now it seemed he was still surprised that someone wanted him, even after all the things he had done.

"I can understand why you did it. You made a mistake, and you paid for it. But now you're different. You a good man now, and you do a lot of good things. You teach, you spy. You help people, and you help me. I don't think a horrible person would do those things," Harry replied.

Severus' lips twitched, like he wanted to speak but the words wouldn't come. His eyes still held the bewildered look.

"I'm not going to let you talk your way out of this, Severus," Harry said with a small smile. "You're the one who proposed the option. You may have had a bad past, but that shouldn't stop you from continuing your future. I want to be a family just as much as you do. I'm not changing my mind, no matter what you say."

Something shone in Severus' eyes. "You sounded just like your mother right then," he said.

Harry gave a wider smile, feeling warmth spread through him. Severus stood up stretched his wings. They no longer drooped behind him like before. It seemed like the funk he had put himself in had completely disappeared at Harry's words. He still seemed a bit skittish, like he expected Harry to take back his words at a moment's notice, but otherwise looked very happy.

"If that is the way you really feel Harry," he spoke, his voice still soft, "then I need to contact Miss Bones."

"Ms. Bones?" Harry asked.

"She's a worker for the Ministry and a freind from school. She has agreed to help me adopt you and keep it on the down-low so the Ministry won't try and get in the way because of my past," Severus replied.

"Really? That's great!" Harry felt thankful for the woman. There she was, risking her job just so Harry and Severus could be a family. Nobody had ever done something like that for him before.

Severus walked over to the fireplace, his footfalls sounding a lot more energetic than they did before they came to the living room. He grabbed a small metal tin that was laying on top that Harry knew was where he contained his Floo powder. He threw the powder in, saying words too fast for Harry to hear, then poked his head in.

Harry gave out a small shout of alarm as he watched his soon-to-be father's head disappear in the flames. He knew the green fire didn't hurt, so he had no worried about is head being burned, but he had no idea how his head was supposed to go somewhere without his body. What if they got separated? That would be the weirdest way to get decapitated in the history of ever.

Harry saw Severus' wing fluff up for a second then fall, which caused a rush of anxiety to fill him. His worry subsided, however, when Severus seemed to be in no imminent danger and his chest continued to rise and fall. He even gave a Harry a thumbs up to reassure him, which looked rather odd from his perspective.

If Severus reached Miss Bones, Harry couldn't tell. Severus' arms twitched every once and awhile, like he wanted to talk with his hands. The conversation seemed to get serious at one point, or at least she had said something that had evoked a reaction from him. His arms and back tensed up, and his wings twitched, almost in anger like they did sometimes.

Harry knew staying in a position like that for too long would no doubt hurt, but Harry didn't want to bother him just in case whatever anger he might have from the conversation didn't get thrown onto him. Instead, he sat back on the couch and waited.

.'.

Severus poked his head through the fire, closing his eyes against the multiple spinning rooms so he wouldn't get vertigo. Concentrating hard, he gave Harry a thumbs up in the living room. He knew the boy had never seen Floo travel like what he was seeing now, and there was no doubt the boy would get worried he would get hurt.

Amelia Bones' office looked different than the last time Severus remembered. It was way more cluttered now. Paper airplane messages floated in every direction, swooping and twirling over the desks. Bright orange feathers in clumps laid everywhere. Papers piled high, and Severus had to peer in every direction before he could spot a ragged looking Bones behind a pile of papers.

"Amelia!" he said, and the woman jumped. She poked her head around her desk. Her hair was wild, tied in a very hastily done looking bun. Her wand stuck out of it, acting as a holder.

"Severus!" She bounded towards him, an eager look on her face. "How did it go?"

Severus smiled one of his rare smiles. "He said yes!"

Amelia squealed and clapped her hands. "That's great! That's amazing! Oh, I would give you a hug if I could." She leaned back on her heel and sighed happily.

"So you think you could still do the adoption process?" he asked.

A grin spread, and her eyes gleamed. "Well, yes and no. I could, but I probably won't."

Severus' own smile fell and he could feel his body tense up and his wings twitch back at his home. Was she ditching him? "No? You're smiling. That's not something to smile about!'

"Well..." she said in a singsong voice. "I found something that can override the Ministry, no matter what they say. We don't even have to do the papers!"

"Amelia, you are making no sense. There is nothing in existence that could-"

"-There is. Just wait Severus. I don't have all of the information on it yet, but it should only take a few more hours. I want to explain it to both you and Harry."

"Dammit, Bones! Just tell me!" he said angrily.

She reached into the flames and began pushing his head back. "Nope, nope! Just wait, okay? I'm almost done researching." She motioned to her messy office behind her. "It shouldn't take long. You have been patient with me so far, so trust me. It will be great."

With one final shove, Severus was back in his living room, blinking and coughing from the soot that rushed up his throat.

"How did it go?" he could hear Harry ask.

"She'll be here in a few hours, apparently," Severus replied snappily. He could see Harry flinch out of the corner of his eye. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'm not mad at you, Harry," he said, his voice much softer. "She just wouldn't give me full details on if she can still do the adoption process or not. It was irritating. I'm sorry I snapped."

Harry fiddled with his hands. "S'fine, sir."

"Do you want to fly until she gets here? You haven't practiced in a few days," he suggested. He would do anything to distract him for a few hours and ease his mind.

Harry perked up instantly. "That sounds great!"

He rushed to the door, sliding it open with one tug. Harry's wings spread wide, and he leaped into the air. Severus followed not far behind, and soon they were continuing the game of chase that they had left off with Neville the day before.

They played for a few hours, and Severus was winning by multiple points. Harry, despite having the speed of his father and mother combined, still couldn't keep up with Severus' more skilled flying. He whined after Severus tagged him out for the thirtieth time.

"Come on, Severus! Make it a bit easier!" he said.

"You'll never learn if everyone takes it easy on you," he replied, and tagged Harry out once more.

Night began to settle, and Harry and Severus went back to the house, each taking a shower to wash of the sweat and dirt that had accumulated during their play. While Harry took his, Severus began to get dinner ready.

He was still seething slightly as he stirred the tomato sauce. Bones--he refused to call her Amelia as long as she was taking her sweet time--had yet to show up, and as every hour passed while they were out, he feared that she had given up on him and refused to show. He wanted Harry to be a part of his family more than anything, and the thought that he may not because some woman decided she had something better to do not only angered him to no end, but also made him feel a dark...something in the pit of his stomach. It was as if an Dementor had come and sucked away his happiness.

He knew he was being dramatic, but with every minute that ticked away, his mind ran wild. Each scenario that passed through his head seemed to be worse than the last. If Amelia didn't show, he would have to be forced to take it front of the Minster, and he knew for certain how Fudge thought of him. There was no doubt that he would have the time of his life rejecting Severus' application. And then the whole wizarding world would know that Harry needed a new family and there would be a bidding war over him. No doubt someone like the Malfoys would take him away in an instant. The thought of losing Harry forever was enough to drive him mad, and it was the last thing he wanted.

The sound of wet feet slapping on tile made him turn his head. Harry walked into the kitchen, already dressed in pajama bottoms and one of Severus' old shirts.

"Your turn," was all Harry said as he took the spoon from Severus' hand.

"Already?" he asked, glancing at the clock. "You were barely in there for thirty minutes."

Harry shrugged. "I take quick showers."

Severus huffed. "I should make you go back in there and take another one," he muttered.

Harry either didn't hear him or opted to ignore it. "What's for dinner?" he asked.

"I don't know. Something with tomato sauce," he replied, heading towards the stairs.

"I'll figure something out," Harry said, shouting slightly so Severus could hear.

Severus took a shower, making the water as hot as he could stand it. He scrubbed at his scalp furiously, watching as streams of brown and dirt went down the drain. Leaves from the trees fell from his wings, and he took slight pleasure in ripping them in two and throwing them out the curtain.

The steam coated the mirror when he stepped out, and he didn't even bother to wipe it away. He hacked at his hair with the brush blindly and smoothed out his wings half-heartedly. By the time he had finished completely, Harry had already finished dinner and was placing their plates at their respective seats.

"Spaghetti again?" he asked as he sat down. He took a fork and swirled it in the pasta.

"I like it," Harry said, twirling his own forkful.

The fire flared green, and Severus barely spared Bones a glance as she stepped through.

"Severus, I found it! You're going to love it!" she said, waving a piece of parchment in the air.

"Oh, so you haven't forgotten me? It took you long enough," he commented icily.

Amelia stopped in her tracks with a look of confusion. "What are you...? Nevermind. What I found is amazing. It took me a while to find the recipe-"

"-Obviously-"

"-but I think it was worth it. Check this out." She shoved the parchment in his face.

Severus blinked as he tried to adjust his eyes to the small, cramped handwriting.

"Pater et Filius?" he read out loud. He raised his eyes to the giddy woman standing in front of him. "What is it?"

"It's a potion!" she said. Her smile hurt Severus' own cheeks just looking at her.

"I could never tell," he drawled, his sarcastic tone indicating that he was talking to either a dunderhead or a small child. "but what does it do?"

"You need to be a bit more nicer to the one who's helping you get this process started," she reprimanded lightly, wagging her finger at his nose. He rolled his eyes and she gave a crooked grin, catching his sarcasm.

"Do you mind if I sat down?" she asked, indicating to the empty seat beside Harry.

Severus made a ‘go-for-it' motion with the hand that was not currently swirling pasta. She plopped down and smoothed the parchment between the three of them.

"This was very difficult to find," she began. "The ministry had erased nearly every mention of it from their resources. I was lucky to have found a book that mentioned it in one of my old storage boxes. It took me a bit to search for the recipe, but once I uncovered the name, I went to the Forbidden Library--not a small feat I may add--and spent the whole night looking for more information. I just happened to come across a book that mentioned a recipe when you called, Severus."

"Lucky me," he said, and even he couldn't tell if he was sarcastic or not.

"This potion is very powerful. Not even the Ministry's laws can override it," she said happily.

"Neat," breathed Harry, looking wide-eyed at the parchment.

"If brewed correctly, Pater et Filius can make the drinkers become one. It literally translates to "Father and Son", so that tells you a lot there. Severus, when you drink it, Harry will become biologically yours. He will take on some of your mannerisms, looks, and talents. It's an even stronger process than adoption. Since he will then become your son in every way, the Ministry will have no hold over the both of you, and will have no way to override your process." she beamed brightly, but then added as an afterthought: "As long as you don't get caught brewing this, of course. "

Harry looked excited, but Severus caught a hint of hesitation in his eyes when Amelia explained.

"Harry? What's wrong?" he asked. "If you don't want to go through with this, that's fine. We can just-"

"-Of course I want to go through with this, Severus!" he interrupted. "It's just, if I take on his mannerisms and stuff, what will happen to my mum and dad's parts of me? Will they just disappear and I'll become a carbon copy of Severus?" he asked, and Severus caught the slight glance at his large nose.

Amelia must have seen it as well because she smirked slightly. "No Harry. That's one part the potion can't take away. Think of it as having three biological parents. You will still have Lily and James in you, but now you will have a mix of Severus in there in well."

"You make it sound like you're making some weird soup," he commented and Amelia laughed.

"I suppose it is kind of like making weird soup," she chuckled.

"I have a question, Amelia," Severus asked, snatching the parchment towards him and squinting his eyes at the small handwriting. "Why on earth couldn't you have just taken the book? Nobody ever goes in the Forbidden Library, so they shouldn't notice it was missing, would they?"

"Unspeakables, Severus. They're everywhere. They see everything. I couldn't risk it. I jotted the notes down as fast as I could before anyone noticed anything was going on. Sorry for the handwriting. It must be atrocious. I can re-write it for you if you wish."

Severus shook his head. "No, it's fine. I have to read student scribble every day. I'm sure I can manage. It was a stupid question anyway. But tell me one more thing, please." He turned the parchment every which way, squinting even harder at the smaller script. "How long does this potion take to brew?"

"It should be on there, but I believe it takes three to four months."

Harry dropped his fork of spaghetti. "Three to four months!" he shouted, shocked.

"That's what she just said, Harry. There's no need for repetition," Severus said lightly.

"Yes, no need for repetition," Amelia said, and Severus peered at her over the brown paper, unamused.

"I just want to know how I missed this potion," he muttered to himself. "I've studied every potion, forbidden and legal and I have never even heard a mention of this."

"The ministry kept this one on lockdown. No mention of it since the thirteenth century," Amelia said, hearing him.

"Why was it forbidden?" Harry asked, saying the thing that was on Severus' mind.

"Oh, it's for a stupid reason. It's not forbidden because it's dangerous or anything, don't worry. The Minister at the time--the first ever woman minister, mind you--banned it because her husband ran off with another woman and gave the potion to their newborn son with the DNA of the other woman without her knowing, and by the time she found out there was nothing she could do about it. The Ministry couldn't do anything because it was perfectly legal. She was angry that she had to share her son with the other, so she banned the potion and practically erased it from everyone's mind so nobody else could ever go through what she did. But instead of helping others like she wanted to, she hindered them by not letting them use that form of adoption. She never relented though, even when people were practically barging down her door, and it's been in the Forbidden Library ever since."

Severus' eyebrows were raised high. "You got all of this in just a day?"

Amelia shrugged. "I started my research last night. I pulled an all nighter, and most of today."

"You always were a fast researcher," he commented. "Is this everything you could gather?"

She nodded. "I got what I thought to be the most important. If you need anything else, let me know. I can certainly try again." She pushed back her chair, her orange feathers spanning behind her, and Harry stood up with her.

"Hold on before you leave, Ms. Bones," he instructed, then went into the kitchen and made another plate of spaghetti. He covered the top with tin foil and handed the large plate to her.

"Here, take this with you. You said you've been working all day and I thought you might be hungry, " he said.

Amelia smiled wide, holding the plate close. "Thank you, Harry. That's very nice of you."

Red began to rise up his neck and ears and looked down at his feet. "You're welcome."

Severus stood up and walked Amelia back to the fireplace.

"Thank you so much for the meal," she said. "I'm sorry for interrupting your dinner."

Severus waved away her apologies. "It's no problem. There's no need to apologize. Thank you so much for this. Truly. If there is anything I can do in return-"

It was Amelia's turn to wave away his words. "It's fine, Severus. Anything to help a friend."

Severus coughed, embarrassed. "Yes, well...thank you. Again. And um..." he faltered, the words not coming as easily as they should. "I'm uh, sorry, for my attitude earlier. It wasn't polite and quite rude."

Amelia laughed. "Oh, it's fine, Sev. I know you didn't mean it. Your imagination always got the better of you. This time was no different, was it?" She slapped his shoulder lightly.

"Yeah...," he muttered.

"Well, I must be off now. I can't be gone too long or else people may begin to wonder. I wish you luck on your process," she said. With the plate tucked tightly in her arms, she threw the powder into the fire and in a flash of green was gone.

Severus stood in the same spot, rooted in place until Harry called his name to finish dinner.

"So when can we start? Can we start now?" Harry asked, practically bouncing up and down in his chair.

"Let's finish dinner, and maybe I'll think about it..." he said, his voice trailing off at the end. He peered at Harry, smirking slightly at the shocked face.

"I'm only joking. Yes! Let's get this process started right away!" He clapped his hands together, and Harry gave out a loud whoop.

~.~

With the potion finally beginning its journey, softly bubbling under a fire, Severus yawned and stepped out of his lab. Harry had helped for the first few hours, but ultimately had become too tired to continue. He had whined and complained as Severus shooed him out of the lab, but finally gave up when his face hit the pillow, and he began snoring instantly.

Severus had covered him up, tucking him in and wiping away his bangs from his forehead. With a final "Goodnight, Harry," he had stepped out of the room and headed back to his lab to continue the potion.

The beginning process was nothing much. All he had to do was skin and chop some few ingredients, and that was what had taken the most time. He would have to add them tomorrow after the base had boiled for twenty-four hours. Then it would really begin, and they could get the adoption process started for real.

He didn't bother brushing his teeth as he entered his bedroom. Instead, he headed straight for bed. He flopped down face first, utterly exhausted. His wings fell on either side of him, spread wide, and he didn't even bother to bring them back up.

His thoughts were still on the constant cycling loop that had been running around ever since he started the potion, ranging from happiness that he hadn't felt in a long time to fear. He feared that he may one day become just like his father. Hurting Harry was the last thing on his mind, something that he could never picture himself doing, even on accident, but the constant what if's were constantly there. Everyone knew Severus had a temper that could hardly be tamed when it became unleashed, and he never wanted to give into his rage like his father had and possibly hurt Harry. He would never forgive himself if he did that.

What if he started drinking again and he got too drunk to function? What if Harry annoyed him, and he took his hand to the child in a bad way? What if something bad happened to Severus, and he took his anger out on Harry like his father had to him so many times when things had gone wrong? He didn't want to turn into Tobias.

What if...what if...what if...

Finally, after around two hours of the constant worrying and the psyching himself not to worry, he fell asleep just as tiny beams of light found its way over the hills.

Now, it should be said that Severus should never, on any circumstance, think about his father before falling asleep if he didn't want to have screwed up dreams that would take weeks to recover from. Ever.

But, as with most things that he did in life, he didn't listen to his inner musings, and after what had seemed like only seconds of closing his eyes, his father was there, standing tall and cruel over his bed, and he was sure that he had never felt more scared in his life than he did in that moment in his dream induced state. He hadn't seen his father in so long, and the mere sight of him made him tremble and shake like he was a child again.

"What the hell are you doing, boy?" his father snarled, giving off a sneer that Severus could only dream of mustering.

"Didn't ya listen to those lessons I gave ya a while back?" His voice, which had a slight English accent from the many years of living in Cokeworth, reverted back to his Texas drawl in his anger.

A hand shot out and took him by the hair, dragging him up from his bed. He grasped at his father's wrists, trying his hardest to push him away. Tobias then pushed him back down, holding him down on the bed by his wings.

"You're nothing, do ya hear me?" he growled. Severus struggled underneath him, panting from the pain in his wings.

"I know it. You know. The kid knows it. It's only a matter of time, Severus." He gripped feathers, clutching a fistful, and Severus screamed.

"It's only a matter of time until he leaves. Just like how Lily did. She didn't even want you as her brother. He only went with this stupid process because he felt sorry." He ripped the feathers from his wings, and Severus could feel hot tears spring to his eyes as his throat began to turn raw.

"He felt sorry for your stupid. Pathetic. Life." Rip. Rip. Rip. He took chunks of feathers with every word. He tried to fight back, to get Tobias away, but it was like he was frozen. He laid there, boneless, as his father ripped away every last feather, laughing maniacally.

Tobias' face morphed into Harry's, and still he continued to laugh. As he ripped away the last feather, he sneered, contorting his normally cheerful facial features into something Severus deeply wished he would never see again.

He leaned down to Severus' ear, his green eyes glinting. "Nothing," he whispered, and Severus' throat seized up. Hands closed tightly around his windpipe, and he couldn't breathe...

Severus jerked awake, feeling like he was falling. He brought his wings up, nearly crying with joy when he saw that they were still normal, not a feather missing. He wiped away the cold sweat that had formed on his skin. He felt like the Hogwarts Express had run him over.

The sun was completely up now, shining brightly through his window, a complete contrast to what he was feeling. He could hear Harry, already up, banging pots and pans around as he made breakfast.

Oh, Merlin. He flopped back down, one arm covering his eyes from the light.

What on earth was he doing to himself?