Equal and Opposite by steph7of7
Summary: Let's just get this out of the way: Harry is a girl. And Ron is a girl. And Hermione is a boy. And Dumbledore is a girl. And Snape is a girl. And Draco is a girl. And, WTF, Voldemort is a girl. The author plays all of this straight. (Not, like, straight vs. gay. In those terms, the author plays all of this gen.)
Categories: Teacher Snape > Professor Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Dumbledore, Ron
Snape Flavour: Snape is Stern
Genres: General
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe, Girl!Harry, Slytherin!Harry
Takes Place: 1st Year
Warnings: Profanity
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No Word count: 22031 Read: 40028 Published: 08 Sep 2016 Updated: 17 Jul 2017
Halloween by steph7of7

Over the next few weeks, life at Hogwarts settled into a routine. Daisy and Ronnie usually sat at each other's tables for meals, but sometimes they each sat at their own tables. Daisy had Quidditch practice three nights a week, but she spent her other evenings with Ronnie. It took them a while to work out where to meet--they met once in the library, but it was dull because they couldn't talk above a whisper. Then they tried to meet in an empty classroom on the second floor, but they both found it creepy. "Why don't we just go back to the Gryffindor common room?" Ronnie asked. "I don't think it's against the rules."

So there they went, although the portrait guarding the Gryffindor common room squinted his eyes at Daisy when Ronnie gave him the password.

"I don't think she's one of mine," the Fat Gentleman said, crossing his arms.

"No, but she's one of mine," Ronnie said blithely, and Daisy felt warm all over. The Fat Gentleman didn't argue further, and swung forward to reveal the tunnel to the common room. The girls spent a very pleasant evening there, playing gobstones with Nancy Longbottom and Deena Thomas. Daisy didn't see Felina Malfoy once.

The next evening, Daisy took Ronnie to the Slytherin common room. The empty stone wall outside the common room was not as judgmental as the Fat Gentleman had been, but there was a slight pause after Daisy gave the password (so slight that Daisy might have imagined it) before the hidden door slid open. The girls took this as tacit approval. That evening, Ronnie taught Daisy how to play chess, but Daisy kept losing even with Beth Zabini's help. "Slytherins should never lose a game of chess to a Gryffindor," Beth complained, but Ronnie just laughed. "We'll get better," Daisy said, even though she didn't believe it. The twins noticed what they were doing and came over.

"If you manage to beat her," Sam said, "do please invite us to watch. She's got a big head about this game."

"Yes, everyone needs a talent," Alex said. "Ronnie's is chess. It's not the quickest way to earn a galleon, but it is great for parties."

:-:-:-:-:-:

It seemed like no time at all had passed, but it was already Halloween. When Daisy walked into the Great Hall for the feast, Ronnie came over to her side almost immediately. Without even saying hello, Ronnie said, "I have to tell you what happened in Charms class with Herman Granger."

Daisy groaned. Ronnie had the same problems with the overbearing boy as everyone else, but Ronnie found it impossible to ignore him like Daisy did.

Ronnie grabbed Daisy's arm and practically dragged her to the nearest table, which was Hufflepuff. They sat down next to each other, and Ronnie started talking right away about how Herman was insufferable as he always was--and Herman wasn't even paired with Ronnie, but still tried to tell her what to do ("'Win-GAAAAAR-dyum Levi-OH-sah,'" Ronnie said, slightly nasally and with eyebrows pulled high, in an unfortunately accurate imitation of the tall skinny boy), and how Ronnie was so incensed that she told Herman off ("I told him he may be ace at spells, but he was pants at people, and if he'd shut his fat mouth every once in a while, people might like him more"), and the whole class heard it ("I wasn't exactly sitting close to Herman, so we weren't whispering this conversation") and most of them laughed cruelly at Herman, and Herman sat down behind his large pile of books and didn't talk to anyone for the rest of the class period.

"I feel kind of bad," Ronnie said. "I meant what I said, but..."

"But until you hurt his feelings, you didn't know he had feelings to hurt?" Daisy guessed.

"That's it," Ronnie said. "He's always...so weird, you know?"

"Yeah."

"Besides, Felina Malfoy came up to me after class and said that Herman had it coming."

"Oh," Daisy said.

"Yeah," Ronnie said. "So that made me feel even worse. I've been trying so hard to be nice to her that I forgot that I have to be nice to other people, too."

"Well, you can either apologize to Herman Granger, or else suffer Felina Malfoy's pleasure."

Ronnie frowned and sighed deeply. "I know that. It's just...what do I say?"

A Hufflepuff boy sitting across the table from them cleared his throat, and Daisy and Ronnie looked over at him.

"Excuse me," he said. "What if you just said, 'I'm sorry'?"

There was an awkward pause, then Ronnie blurted, "Who are you?"

"Henry Abbot," the boy said, and didn't offer anything more.

"Ronnie Weasley," Ronnie said, after a beat.

Daisy and Ronnie excused themselves from the Hufflepuff table, and went over to the Ravenclaw table but couldn't find Herman. Pankaj Patil, Pradeep Patil's twin brother (Pradeep was in Gryffindor with Ronnie, but Pankaj was in Ravenclaw), saw them and sighed as if he knew who they were looking for. "I know Herman can be bossy," Pankaj started to say, but Ronnie interrupted him.

"I know, I know. I shouldn't have said it."

Pankaj frowned. "No, I just want to let you know that not all Ravenclaws are like that. Overbearing, I mean. Some of us do have social skills, you know."

Ronnie frowned back, and Daisy felt an uncomfortable flip in her stomach. "Actually," Ronnie said, "I'm looking for Herman to apologize to him."

"Oh. Well, then, he's hidden himself in the library--I'm sure you can still find him there."

Daisy and Ronnie looked at each other. "Should we go?" Daisy asked.

"Maybe at the end of the feast..." Ronnie said uncertainly. She looked at the table and said, "We should go now, but we'll be better at apologizing if we're not hungry."

"Yeah," Daisy agreed. "We could take food for us and Herman. Maybe it'll be easier for him, too, if he's not hungry."

They took some rolls and wrapped up a chicken leg, and put an apple and some grapes in their pockets, and went off to the library before the feast had even really started.

:-:-:-:-:-:

Serafima noticed the two girls stuff their pockets full of rolls and apples, and sighed when they left the Hall together. Inter-House friendships were not discouraged, but close friendships between students from different Houses was odd. But somehow Miss Evans and Miss Weasley made it seem more natural than Serafima had ever managed with James. Perhaps because of all the teasing she and James had endured from their peers ("Is that your boyfriend? He's rather too good-looking for you, isn't he? You're beneath him even if he is a Mudblood" directed towards Serafima from her housemates, and later, "I hope she's at least giving it to you, mate, otherwise you're wasting your time" directed at James from his own.) Or perhaps Evans and Weasley were too young yet to endure sexual innuendos. Or perhaps they never would, as they were both girls.

Serafima moved to follow the girls out of the Great Hall, but was stopped by Philomena Flitwick. The willowy head of Ravenclaw House put an hand on Serafima's arm and said, "I suspect they're off to tend to one of mine--the fact that they're taking food is a good sign. Let them be."

"What's this about?" Serafima asked.

Philomena sighed. "You know Herman Granger?"

Serafima groaned. The boy was certainly intelligent, but didn't know when to keep silent, and tended to stay after class to ask Serafima questions, while standing entirely too close.

"I see he's already made an impression on you," Philomena said. "Granger and Miss Weasley had a small altercation in my classroom this morning. I don't know what it was about, but by the time the dust had settled, Granger was hiding behind his books and was silent for the rest of class, Miss Weasley looked abashed, and the other students seemed amused. And you'll notice that Granger is not in attendance this evening."

Serafima hadn't noticed. "So you think that letting Evans and Weasley roam the halls unattended is wise?"

"I don't think they'll be burning down the school tonight, if that's what you're asking. Miss Weasley can be impulsive, but Miss Evans is a quiet, thoughtful girl. I think their friendship is good for both of them. If they can work on Granger, perhaps it will benefit all of us."

So, against her better judgment, Serafima let it pass.

She regretted this later, when the feast was almost over and Quirina Quirrel ran into the hall, yelling about trolls.

:-:-:-:-:-:

Daisy and Ronnie did indeed find Herman in the otherwise empty library. The boy sat at a table with his back to the door, hunched up over a book.

Not wanting to startle the boy, Daisy said, "Hi Herman, it's us."

Herman whipped around and glared at them. "Shhhhh!" he whispered urgently. "It's a library."

Ronnie and Daisy shared a glace. "But it's empty," Ronnie said, not whispering.

Daisy thought this was a small enough thing, so she elbowed Ronnie and whispered to Herman, "If it makes you feel better, we can whisper."

Herman nodded and turned back around to his book.

Ronnie sighed gustily and sat down across from Herman. "We came--er, I came--to apologize," she whispered. "I'm sorry for making fun of you in class today."

Herman kept his head down and didn't say anything.

Ronnie looked at Daisy a bit desperately, and Daisy shrugged. Ronnie tried again, "Er, what I did was mean, and wrong, and I didn't mean to make fun of you."

There followed another awkward silence. And then Herman straightened in his chair so quickly, it made the girls jump. "It was mean, and wrong, because I was right and I was only trying to help," Herman hissed at Ronnie. "You were mispronouncing that spell--that's why it wouldn't work for you!" Herman was somehow shouting his whispers.

Ronnie was red in the face, and quite forgot that she was supposed to whisper. "Yes, but you--"

"We brought some food," Daisy interrupted, and pulled a roll and an apple out of her pockets. "Are you hungry?"

Herman looked scandalized. "You can't eat in a library!" he whispered.

Ronnie put her head down on the table, but Daisy had quite enough. She couldn't take any more stodginess. She looked directly at Herman and took a messy bite out of the apple. "You don't have to follow all of the rules all of the time, you know," Daisy said in a normal voice, around a mouthful of apple.

Herman looked back down at his book. "You could get food on the books," he whispered furiously. "And you should be in the habit of whispering in a library because it's polite and as for you," he said, looking pointedly at the top of Ronnie's messy hair, because she was still face-down on the table, "you needed to stress the 'gar' of 'wingardium' and you were saying 'wing' instead of 'win,' anyway, which was wrong, and if you listened to me, you would have got it right instead of looking like a--a--stupid bully."

Ronnie lifted her head, and opened her mouth but seemed to change her mind. Then she sighed and said, "We should have brought tea." But Herman drew in a scandalized breath and Ronnie backpedaled. "No, no," she said. "I know you shouldn't have tea in the library, please don't start. But a cup of tea would be nice--that's all I'm saying. But listen: I don't care if you're right. No one likes a know-it-all."

"But I am right!" Herman whispered.

"What Ronnie's trying to say is that being right doesn't make you pleasant," Daisy said, and deliberately took another bite of her apple. Herman scowled at her, then hunched back over his book.

"Well," Ronnie said, and then froze because in that moment, the three children heard a muffled thump. And then another. "What was that?" Ronnie breathed.

Herman looked at her with a little nod of approval. "That's the proper way to talk in a library," he whispered.

Then there was another thump, louder and closer than the last one. And then a horrible smell wafted up to them, like a sewer was broken nearby.

"I think we need to get out of here," Ronnie whispered, but then there was another thump that was much more loud--more of a whomp.

"We need to hide," Daisy whispered urgently, and grabbed Ronnie and Herman and dragged them under the table just as a huge hairy foot whomped down in their line of sight.

"It's a mountain troll," Herman breathed. "Here?"

Ronnie slapped her hand across Herman's mouth, and the boy was so shocked that he didn't react. Unfortunately, the mountain troll noticed something, because they could hear it sniffing, and saw its feet shuffle around a little circle as it looked for something. Then, the feet stopped moving, and the children held their breath.

The troll lowered something, so that they could see it. At first it looked like a knee, or an elbow, but the angle was odd. It took a moment for Daisy to figure out that it was a giant club, knobbly and thick. And then, slowly, ominously, the troll's head lowered down to look under the table. When Daisy could see one of the troll's eyes, it blinked.

The children screamed and the troll roared. The children ran for the stacks of books just as the troll knocked the table aside with its club. They ran until they were at the back wall of the library, a solid stone wall without any windows. Daisy looked around for any way out, and noticed that she was holding Ronnie's hand, and Ronnie was holding Herman's hand.

"What should we do?" whispered Herman.

"The troll is blocking the only door," whispered Daisy.

"We'll have to fight our way out," said Ronnie.

Herman looked at Ronnie as if she was mental, and whispered, "Fight our way out? Through a mountain troll?"

Daisy had to admit that Herman had a point. But then--

WHOMP, came the troll, very nearby, and the children jumped.

"Throw books at it!" Daisy and Ronnie yelled at the same time. It was a desperate plan, and probably would never work, but then Herman yelled, "You'll ruin the books!" in a scandalized voice, and Daisy suddenly liked the idea a lot more. She and Ronnie grabbed heavy books off the shelves just as the troll rounded the corner. Daisy heaved her book (The Complete Encyclopedia of Caribbean Water Plants), but the pages flew open and it didn't quite go as far as she'd hoped. The book landed on the troll's toe, and caused the great smelly beast to look down, confused. Ronnie heaved her own book (it was facing the other way, Daisy noted, so it sailed through the air much better than her own effort), but still only hit the troll's shin.

Daisy started to think that running away would be better, but at that moment, the troll swung its club and knocked over an entire shelf of books. And then, like dominoes, all of the shelves fell over with a deafening crash, and blocked them in.

"Wingardium Leviosa," Herman said, and to Daisy's great surprise, an enormous atlas floated above the troll. Then Herman pulled his wand back, and the book suddenly fell and landed on the troll's head. This was much more of a direct hit than Daisy or Ronnie had scored, but the troll hardly seemed to feel it and took another step toward them.

"You need something heavier!" Ronnie shouted. "Win-GAR-dyum Levi-OH-sa!" she yelled, and the troll's own club floated into the air. The troll looked up in confusion. Then Ronnie pulled back her own wand, just like Herman had done, and the club fell, bang between the troll's eyes.

The club clattered to the floor, and there were several moments when Daisy thought that the troll didn't even feel it. But then the troll started to fall (backwards, thank goodness), and crashed to the floor.

"CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT WORKED?!" Ronnie yelled into the silence that followed.

Herman laughed and jumped up and down. His afro bobbed up and down with him, and Daisy giggled. "I TOLD YOU!" Herman yelled. "I TOLD YOU, YOU JUST HAD TO PRONOUNCE IT CORRECTLY!"

Ronnie looked at him, befuddled for a moment, then started laughing so hard that she collapsed to the floor. "Pronounce it...correctly," she gasped, in between her choked laughter.

Daisy and Herman sat down on the floor and laughed with Ronnie. Then Herman looked at the ruined bookshelves and sighed. "Shame about all these books, though."

At that moment, they heard Sir Pince, the librarian. "What happened to my books?" he screamed to the room in general. Then he spotted Daisy, Ronnie, and Herman. "What have you done?" he roared, and even though heaps of his precious books stood between the man and the children, Daisy and Ronnie shrank back instinctively.

Herman, however, stood up and pointed at the troll. "It was the troll, Sir. We were merely defending ourselves."

Sir Pince seemed to have something to say about that, but was interrupted by Professors Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, and Flitwick. "Ah, see?" Professor Dumbledore said calmly. "There they are, safe and sound."

Ronnie stood up. "It was a troll, Professor," she said, parroting Herman.

"It knocked over the bookshelves," Herman said. "But Ronnie knocked it out with its own club."

Daisy darted a glace at Professor Snape. The woman was looking right at Daisy, and her face was twisted into something uglier than usual. Daisy quickly looked down.

"Well, thank Merlin you lot are alright," Professor McGonagall was saying. "Can you make your way back over here?"

Herman was reluctant to step on the books, and Daisy was reluctant to get closer to Professor Snape, but Ronnie led the way fearlessly, and the other two followed.

"We're finishing the feast in our own common rooms," Professor McGonagall said. "And I think five points to Gryffindor, for taking out a full-grown mountain troll."

"Indeed," chimed Professor Flitwick. "Five points to Ravenclaw, for the same."

Daisy looked up at Professor Snape's hands, which were clenched into fists. She looked back down.

"Ten points from Slytherin," Professor Snape ground out. "For leaving the feast early."

This was quite unfair, but Daisy could still see Professor Snape's white knuckles if she thought about it, so she didn't protest. But she heard Ronnie and Herman gasp, which made her feel better than if she'd got ten points for Slytherin, and she heard Professor Dumbledore say, "Hmm," which was odd.

Then Professor Snape's cold hand closed on her shoulder and Daisy was led out of the library. She looked back at Herman and Ronnie, who looked quite concerned for her. She gave them a crooked smile and a little wave.

She wasn't afraid of Professor Snape, not really. Daisy knew that when Professor Snape was angry, she was in perfect control of her face, and hands, and voice. So that meant that Professor Snape was worried, which made Daisy feel oddly warm.

When they reached the bare stretch of wall outside the Slytherin common room, Daisy looked up at the professor. "I'm okay, Professor," she said quietly. "Thank you."

Professor Snape looked startled, but tightened her grip on Daisy's shoulder. "Miss Evans?" she said, and Daisy waited. "Five points," Snape said, "to Slytherin. For taking out a mountain troll."

Daisy smiled, because she understood.

To be continued...


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