Harry was plagued by nightmares again that night, and he was absolutely annoyed by it.

This was seemed vastly similar to his gruesome, blood-drenched one not so long ago, but this time, everyone in his life began to disappear before his eyes. One by one, Harry would approach them, only for them to fade off into ashes within a breeze which carried them away. The light around him began to dim further and further, until he was sitting in a black, dark void. He tried to scream, but no one could hear him. His own scream startled him awake, as he lay in bed covered in sweat, panting in his bid to compose himself. Once he realised what he saw, he groaned to himself as he rose from his bed and made his way to the bathroom to clean up.

Tired and exhausted, whilst also combating a horrible headache, Harry made his way down to the kitchen for a beverage to calm his nerves. He realised it was likely past midnight, but he really hated the idea of attempting to sleep again. As he wandered down to the second floor, he saw Draco peering at a gap in the door within Severus' bedroom. Draco was still in his grey silk pyjamas but turned to Harry upon his arrival. Curling his lip, Draco stepped away from the door to approach Harry.

"What happened?" Harry asked, lowering his voice close to barely a whisper.

Draco crinkled his brow in worry, "I heard something, and I went to check. I thought I heard, well…Just, never mind. Forget I said anything."

"You sure it came from his room?"

"I know what I heard - " Draco sighed, and ushered silently, " - Let's go downstairs. I'd rather not talk here."

Without further protests, Harry followed Draco down the next flight of stairs to the first floor sitting room, as Harry started up the fireplace, illuminating the room with a warm glow. Draco sat on the chair that Severus usually occupied, while Harry wandered to his usual. He rather missed sitting in here with the older Slytherin mulling over strange conversations with hot tea – now it seems as the man barely had enough energy to leave his bedroom these days. Draco sat on the chair, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor in the same fashion Severus had done in the previous day. Harry sat silently, as he watched the Slytherin attempt to form words of his own.

Draco took a quick sullen glance at Harry, "You know, I never realised he was that…messed up. He was so good at hiding it, that no one ever knew what was really happening inside that head of his. I doubt my father had any idea."

"No one knew. I don't think Dumbledore ever knew the extent of his…pain."

Draco curled his lip, disappointingly, "I guess that's what happens when you bottle up your feelings too bloody long, like he did. Severus was an Occlumens mastermind and practiced it for years. And to Voldemort's face! He outsmarted that disgusting, snake-faced abomination."

"Did you ever suspect anything?"

"Not a damn thing – " Draco shook his head, appearing mad with himself, "- I mean, he never wanted to actively participate in Death Eater raids, or anything that involved specifically killing a target. I could sense his reluctance, but he usually tried to give Voldemort some excuse to side-step it. When we saw Professor Burbage killed right in front of us, I saw how hurt Severus was. I could tell. I didn't really overthink it at the time though, but now knowing the truth, you kinda see things differently, you know?"

Harry nodded in agreement, as he began to fumble with the hem of his shirt, "Yeah, I get that. I saw him get attacked by McGonagall, Flitwick, and Sprout, but he only ever used defensive spells. I saw him deflect their attacks at the Carrows to render them useless before he left, but like you, I didn't think much of it at the time. He had many opportunities to kill me, and never did. I was just too stupid to think otherwise."

"Stupid is an understatement."

"Gee thanks, Malfoy."

Draco smirked, "Anytime, " He leaned back in his chair, and crossed his legs casually, "So, I suppose you still want my word with this bloody trial?"

"Well, you're not doing this for me, Malfoy, but for your Godfather, " Harry reminded him, "He'll need your help, too, not just mine. I can't do it by myself."

Draco bit his lip, looking rather uneasy with the idea, "I really don't want to be facing the Ministry again."

"I know, but again, this is for Severus' sake. He's going to need all the help he can get. And you are the only other Death Eater who can confirm what he did in meetings."

"I'm not a Death Eater!" Draco huffed, as suddenly bolted upright in his seat.

"I-I know, you have the Mark…you know what I mean – " Harry frowned, not intending any offense.

"Hmpf, to think you loathed him for years, and now suddenly, you want to help him. You're a strange one, Potter."

Harry shrugged, not at all bothered by his remark, "The man saved my life and helped me defeat Voldemort. I think that warrants a second chance, by far. "

The Slytherin leaned back further within his chair, drumming on the armrests with his hands as he looked despondently towards Harry, "So – any master plan regarding the whereabouts of the captives? We're all like pathetic sitting ducks. What's the hold-up?"

"We've been narrowing down locations, but no luck. The Death Eaters seemed to be laying low. What we do know, is that they are testing this toxic gas, and we have no idea what their intentions are with it. I mean, where could they possibly plan to release it? Hogsmeade has been under lockdown since the last attack, so they'll be ready for it again, " Harry sighed, running a hand through his messy dark hair, frustrated with lack of information.

"I have been venturing out there myself, keeping myself concealed, but I haven't found anything newsworthy. It's so barren out there because no one's bloody around anymore."

"You must have some inkling, Malfoy? You spent so much time around them – surely you can make some sort of guess? If you were still with them, what would you do?"

Draco glanced sourly at Harry, "I don't know, Potter! I didn't exactly have much of an input."

"Come on, think. If you could unleash a toxic gas, where would you plant it?"

There was a pause between the two, as Draco averted his gaze in thought. Harry watched as Draco seemed to wrestle with the idea, until a look of disgust crossed his pale features, "Well…Hogwarts."

The color seemed to drain from Harry's face. Of course! That made perfect sense! …Vengeance. They wanted vengeance.

They failed at taking over the castle fortress, so now they wanted revenge. The last hurrah. Once they were done with their scare tactics amongst the wizarding community, it'll make sense to attack one of the safest establishments in Britain. The thought of that sent shockwaves through Harry.

Harry swallowed the bubble rising within his throat. He felt sick, "Of course. Where else would they aim for? The new school year will be starting in a month and a half. This is…Bloody hell!"

"Look, I'm not certain, but it's possible. The Death Eaters are sick and twisted, and they will likely attempt one last act of tearing it down. What would be more satisfying to them than to wipe out a school full of students and teachers? At this point, they don't even care about blood status anymore. They will kill anyone who opposes them."

Harry's heart began to beat faster, "We have a lot of work yet to do, and we are running out of time – " He rose from his chair, now clearly disturbed and uncomfortable with the new revelation. " – I'm going back upstairs, because I lose it completely."

Draco snorted lightly, "Yeah, well, do it quietly, Potter. Severus, I can deal with. You're on your bloody own."

Harry rolled his eyes, as he departed back to his room, mulling over his conversation with Draco. Hogwarts. It was scary to think that it was a possibility, and he couldn't believe he didn't think of it before. Of course. It made perfect sense. Where else would they attack next? They have, so far, hit most of the popular wizarding communities as a part of their terror tactics. It didn't leave many other places. Apart from Hogwarts, London may be an option. But why attack a large city? Harry realised they wanted to display their show of power, but it still didn't make sense for a small group of Death Eater fugitives to attack a big Muggle city. It seemed like a useless mission. Hogwarts, at least, made sense.

And if they were brewing their toxic concoction for the new school year, then they were racing against the clock in more ways than one. They knew they were being hunted, so taking out a significant part of the wizarding population seems like their most logical endgame.

And that scared Harry half to death.

Later that morning, Harry made the decision to go to Hogwarts himself, in his not-so-exciting task of paying portrait Dumbledore a visit. He was dreading this immensely, and he now wished Severus were with him to confront him together since he could really do with the infamous snark and no-nonsense approach. After a restless night, and everything else on his mind, he was clearly not in a good mood to be facing Dumbledore's mental gymnastics that day.

Harry left Draco with Severus, who had quite an ill morning as some of his strongest anti-nausea potions were losing potency and were not working as effectively as they used to. According to Draco, Severus had been throwing up all morning and struggled to keep even fluids down. Occasionally, he would excrete blood amongst it, which further alarmed them both. Harry felt worried to leave them, but he made the decision to give Draco one of the spare DA coins in case of an emergency and he could signal him. Otherwise, Draco was on caregiver duty that morning.

Harry made his journey to Hogwarts and made a quick stop to the empty classroom to check up on the potion brewing for the final stage of the Anathema Excerptum ritual. The final potion was close to completion, as it had been brewing continuously for just over two months now. The potion itself looked murky and grey and seemed to appear between a liquid and a gas. He could see what looked like a glittery sheen within its darkened surface, which was definitely the powdered unicorn horn and silver occamy shell swirled within it. The scent itself wasn't putrid – thankfully, yet – and reminded Harry of a strong musk smell, with traces of lavender and sharp metal. Hermione had charmed the cauldron to self-stir, and since Harry didn't find anything else out of ordinary, he made his way towards the Headmistress' office for his next tedious task.

He wasn't sure if McGonagall was within her office, and he probably should have sent a Patronus beforehand, but he really wasn't planning on staying for too long. As Harry ventured down the familiar eerily empty corridors, he approached the golden statue of a griffin leading up to the Headmasters' office. Ushering the office password, he ascended the stone staircase and entered through the door into the office he had not seen since the day Voldemort was defeated almost three months prior. It felt strange being there again, and as it appeared, nothing else had changed. Every object, every piece of furniture, left just as he remembered from when Dumbledore was Headmaster. Severus, nor the current Headmistress, didn't appear to have been willing to change a thing. Now that seemed far too long ago, even if it was only technically a couple of months prior to the current state of affairs. Even the Pensieve and the memory cabinet appeared untouched, however, he knew full well that it only contained memories of Tom Riddle, and other areas of Dumbledore's past that did not in any way, provide Harry with any further information that would help him at this time.

The office was indeed empty of any living soul, however. Even though McGonagall appeared to be out, he almost expected Fawkes to remain perched by the Headmaster's desk. He was sad to find that it was not the case, and his mind drifted to where in the world the magnificent Phoenix could possibly be.

Mustering up the courage, he turned to face the wall of the previous Headmasters immortalised by their magical portraits. Harry had to file back the idea to see if it was possible to add Severus' portrait as a past Headmaster, but he knew that the request may not be so well-received just yet. Maybe once he could clear his name, that might be a possibility. Immediately, he glanced up at the golden-framed portrait of Albus Dumbledore who greeted him with a beaming smile perched upon his face, that Harry barely remembered. He wasn't sure what expression he was to be wearing, because he knew this was not going to be a pleasant conversation.

It's just a portrait and not the real Dumbledore. Keep that in mind before you freak out, Harry.

"Ah, Harry – " Portrait Dumbledore leaned forward within his painted throne-like chair, eyeing Harry with curiosity over his half-moon spectacles, " – I've been wondering when you'd visit again."

"Hi, Professor, " Harry managed to present a half-smile, which was a poor effort on his part, but he wasn't here on simple pleasantries.

"How are you, my boy?"

"Dealing somehow…I suppose?" Well, it wasn't a lie. As to how he was dealing, was another question entirely.

The portrait seemed to study Harry's expression with uncertainty, and not entirely convinced by the boy's demeanor, "You don't appear to be someone who has just become victorious."

Harry frowned, "Well, thing's aren't exactly good right now. You and I seem to have a very different meaning of being victorious."

Dumbledore clasped his hands together, casually, "Perhaps, it all comes down to perspective. What is on your mind, Harry?"

"You really don't know?" Harry couldn't fathom how the man could be so pleasantly ignorant, "I'd have thought Professor McGonagall would have told you."

Dumbledore chuckled likely, "Minerva is a wise woman, and she knows better than to divulge important information to a mere portrait, even if that portrait is myself. She has much respect for you, not to do such a thing."

Harry tilted his head, slightly amused by that, "Oh, well, I'm glad she did."

The old Headmaster leaned back in his chair, "Also likely also due to her bitterness upon my livelier self in withholding crucial information from her. Regrettably."

"You did keep a lot from other people. I get why you had to, but it wasn't fair on someone like Severus who had to bear that burden when you died, " Harry sighed.

Dumbledore nodded slowly, "Yes, yes. There was much that I could not discuss, even with him. He was as blind in the fight as you were – It was imperative that it had to be that way."

"I have to ask – " Harry clenched his jaw, " – Did you really expect the both of us to…die?"

The old wizard paused for a moment as his once-warm expression turned stern, "With you, Harry, I was confident that you would survive, but I was not one hundred percent certain. I knew that the Horcrux within you had to be destroyed, and as a living Horcrux, your own soul would still remain intact once the deed was done. Alas, it made sense that you were likely to survive. As for poor Severus, given his task, I think even he knew that he would meet his unfortunate end."

Harry shook his head of the thoughts running through his mind. He had so many questions, but nowhere to start, "Did you ever give Severus a back-up plan or something else that would ensure his survival? I mean, you gave him barely anything to fight with as he didn't know anything about the Elder Wand. That's like sending someone to fight a dragon without a wand, or a weapon."

"The same reason he could not know of the Horcruxes. For any reason Tom would succeed to pierce his mind, he would know everything, and the plan would have faltered. Severus' mind was his weapon."

"And you still sent him into constant danger like that, alone?" Harry bit his lip, feeling rather ill, "Why couldn't you have told someone else? Like, Professor McGonagall, or even someone else in the Order."

"It was the safest way, Harry. The fewer people who were privy to the truth, the better the outcome."

Harry paused for several moments, still confused about it all. It seemed that no matter what, Severus was doomed to die, "Severus is gravely ill from when he was attacked by Nagini. Cursed, like you were with the Gaunt ring. Did you ever think about what might happen if he did survive? He's been a fugitive fighting for his life since I defeated Voldemort. Did you ever think to leave anything behind to help prove that he was on our side? Because right now, Severus is…" Harry felt every muscle in his body tense, "I don't think you ever realised how this was going to affect him."

"Harry, in war there are necessary risks. I intended for him to have the Elder Wand once he ended my life, but from what I've been made aware, that unfortunately did not transpire as predicted, " Dumbledore stared passively at Harry, almost unmoved by Harry's words. Did portraits even have feelings? "I admit that Severus was ill-equipped with an impossible task, that would likely result in his death. It was essential that my death was by his hand, as to fully integrate him back into the Death Eater fold to maintain his position. That was crucial. "

"You didn't answer my question. Did you once stop to think about how he felt about it? You used my mother as a device to keep him going, even though he already loathed what he had become because of all of this. You didn't do enough to help him. I know, because he's – " Hurt, distraught, damaged, depressed, guilt-ridden…Harry swallowed thickly, and turned away. How could Dumbledore not care? He knew this was a portrait, but even the real Dumbledore would have at least considered this. Severus was an unfortunate pawn in a game of ruthless wizard's chess, and Harry couldn't believe how anyone could use someone like this. Someone like Severus Snape.

"I gave him a purpose, Harry. Without that reason, he would have been lost many years ago. I gave him an opportunity to fight in Lily's name."

"But you used him, Professor! He didn't even want to be a Professor or a spy. I'm trying to clear his name from the Ministry, and all I have is my word. Did you even think about leaving anything for his defense if he were to survive?"

Dumbledore shook his head, "No, Harry. I could not take that risk."

Now Harry started to feel a wave of new simmering anger rise within him, as his shallow breaths attempted to quell it from spilling over the edge, "He lost everything, Professor. All this time, you allowed me to hate him, and I never really knew why until it was too late!"

"You seem very protective over Severus now, Harry. Apart from your calmness to address him by his first name, it appears in this time you both have been able to reconcile, " Dumbledore smiled.

"Yeah, seven years too late, and he's dying with nowhere else to turn - " Harry felt hot angry tears prick at his eyes, feeling slightly betrayed. The older man still smiled, and clearly didn't see how this was affecting him, " – You really should have told us more information. To keep things like that from us, was unfair. To turn Severus into the enemy when he wasn't, was unfair. To hide these secrets from the both of us…You know, I understand Severus more now than I ever dared to before. It's no wonder he always seemed angry. I get it now."

"There was no better way. I hope that someday, you can come to terms with that. It was war, Harry. We all had to make difficult decisions we are not proud of, " Dumbledore responded, calmly, "I am deeply regretful that Severus is unwell, but I hope you both find the peace you both seek in the time he has left. Do not waste it in guilt and regret, my boy."

Harry scowled at the man, breathing heavily now, "That's it? That's all you're going to say? No other solution to help save his life?" He threw his hands up frustratingly in the air, "Why am I even bothering? You're a portrait. I'm just wasting my time – "

"Harry, you must understand –"

" – What? Unfortunate casualties, right? Is that what you were going to say? You may have used my dead mother as an incentive towards a grieving man, but you gave him no hope afterward whatsoever. Everything you told him was based on the assumption that he would die. Otherwise, you would have given him hope for a better life afterward. You know, to make up for his years of torment. He was going to die thinking everyone failed him. He was going to die knowing that the wizarding world hated him. That is unfair for someone who gave up everything to fight for us!"

Dumbledore sat silently and sighed gently, pausing for several moments in his bid to choose his words carefully, "Nothing is fair. I take fault for my actions against Severus, but I never intended for him to suffer. He did, very much so, during his time as Headmaster. I had hoped for a better way, but he was the better way. There was no one else, besides yourself, that I could trust completely."

Harry's shoulders slumped, feeling his eyes well up with tears. He was clearly upset, "I can't give up on him, Professor. Everyone else may have, but I can't. If you really left nothing to help me prove Severus' loyalty to you – besides these bloody memories - then this conversation is finished – " Harry didn't even dare look at the portrait again, because he stormed directly out of the office, he once found welcoming. He felt so many conflicting emotions. He felt angry, saddened, confused, disheartened, frustrated. Portrait or not, Dumbledore cared not about the feelings of Harry or even Severus. Sure, for the greater good. But there had to be some empathy in it, especially for a powerful wizard such as Dumbledore who already had such a colorful past.

The entire conversation was disheartening.

Harry made the decision not to head home yet, for fear of further lashing out with an anger that just kept on bubbling within him. He didn't want to face anyone else at that point in time, as angry tears trailed down his cheeks and he did nothing to stop them. He allowed them to fall, in hope that the tension would leave him along with them. He strode through the castle, making his way towards the exit. He passed Professor Flitwick at one point who called out to him in greeting, but Harry was too upset to say anything in return or even acknowledge the wizard. He was far too angry with everything to stop with pleasantries, but he really needed – wanted – to be alone for a short while. As he made his way out of the castle, he wandered down the hilled path towards the Forbidden Forest in his intention to visit the Thestrals. He really was in no mood for further human interaction – or portrait for that matter – and so he traveled to the familiar clearing in hope of some well-needed tranquillity.

It was no wonder both Severus and Luna found the appeal in seeking solace in a secluded place surrounded by Thestrals. Thestrals were lonely creatures, much like Harry seemed to feel at times. Much like Luna and Severus did.

The afternoon sun was obscured behind a thick mass of grey clouds, casting an overcast warm glow. Almost one more month of summer left, and Harry would be glad to see autumn. Autumn was most definitely his favorite season - there was something rather magical about the way the leaves turned into vivid displays of reds, oranges, and yellows as the flora take on another identity entirely. Those leaves eventually fall, coating the ground with the same bursts of color as the mild winds blow them across the earth. It was perfect weather to begin to wear light coats and even scarfs, and Harry couldn't wait to sit by the crackling fire seeking warmth with a hot chocolate and watching the dreary rain beat across the windows. For now, he still had some time left to suffer through the uncomfortable heat.

Still reeling from his dismaying conversation with Dumbledore's portrait, Harry withdrew his wand and clasped the handle with a strong, steady grip as he entered the clearing. The tears continued to flow, and it did not bother him because no one was around to hear him so broken.

Harry turned to face the nearest tree, and outstretched his wand arm, "Glacius impedimenta!" A frosted sphere appeared at the tip of his wand, and he flourished it angrily towards the tree. The ice was hurled through the air, smashing against the tree, causing shards of ice to shatter to the forest floor, and began to slowly melt within the summer breeze. Harry unleashed the attack again, this time forming a larger sphere; manipulating it within his other hand before he threw it again. His aim was slightly off that time, and it whirled past the tree, almost hitting a Thestral in the distance. The creature darted away in fright, as the ball of ice exploded by its hooves. Harry pursued his attempts a further three, four, five times until he was able to develop a steady stream of frost, which Harry was able to cultivate finally into a beam. The attack was unleashed and hit the tree directly, causing half of it to become encased with a thick layer of ice. The dried leaves above froze over, and some crashed down off the branches due to their sudden weight.

There was a measure of joy within his new accomplishment, but for the most part, he still felt sad. He just wanted to blow off some steam – or ice for that matter – because he was still far too stressed out, especially over his conversation with portrait Dumbledore. Harry wandered towards the other old oak tree with thick and twisted roots, allowing him to sit upon them. The tears still continued to flow, causing a few sobs to finally escape his throat as he buried his head in his hands, shifting his glasses to the top of his head as he did so. He was far too upset to move from his spot and made use of his time alone to release his built-up frustrations and sorrow. It hurt to think now, and he wanted nothing more than life to finally be easy.

He defeated Voldemort – At what point do things get better? The aftermath of the war was still affecting him deeply, and he could barely sleep much undisturbed these days. He struggled immensely, and the only person who did seem to understand his pain was Severus himself. They both seemed to take turns looking out for each other now, as both wrestled with their own pain and guilt. Severus respected him, and Harry respected Severus. They understood each other now, but both were equally afraid to confront their own personal demons. Or even deal with them. There was just so much agony yet to deal with, and not knowing how to move on was the hardest part of all. Harry wasn't about to give up – he still had hope. But there were times where Harry was simply tired of everything and dealing with that seemed impossible. He wished someone else could take over the reins for once, but everything seemed to crash back onto Harry. People were still relying on him, and even though he did not want to fail them, it was difficult to keep that strength going and pretend to everyone else that it was fine. That he was fine.

No, he wasn't fine. He was just sad – all of the time. Everything has changed, and yet at the same time, nothing did.

Harry sat still, with his heavy head buried within his hands, trying to suppress the tears that would not stop flowing. Through occasional shuddered breaths, he heard a rustling of leaves beside him and careful booted footsteps, until he heard a figure sit down beside him. Through the spaces between his fingers and tear-filled eyes, he saw a swish of emerald green robes.

He felt two comforting arms wrap around him, and he leaned into the figure. He didn't have to look up to know that it was Professor McGonagall.

McGonagall rubbed his back soothingly, "Be calm. It'll be alright, Harry. Let it all out. Goodness, you need it."

Through heaved breaths, and a muffled voice, Harry strained to speak, "…How did you…know I was here?"

"Aside from Albus' pleas when I entered my office, and Filius' concerns, I encountered Rubeus along the way who alerted me to where you were heading. This was the only place that came to mind. Severus used to frequent this space, too - " McGonagall answered calmly, " – Once Severus began to see the Thestrals in his fourth year, this was the place he used to escape to."

"…How did that happen?"

McGonagall sighed, "Don't tell him I told you this, but he was there when his mother died. She wanted to end her life, and Severus happened to be home earlier than she planned. She could not be saved."

Harry's breath caught shockingly in his throat, "I-I had no idea."

"Neither of the staff was aware until much later, and he hid his grief well – " She sighed, " – I gather your conversation with Albus did not go as planned?"

Harry shook his head, leaning against her shoulder, "No, it didn't. I was mad at him…I just had to leave."

"Understandable, of course, " The elderly witch pulled the teenager away from her embrace, but she allowed one hand to remain on his back in comfort, "He did not make things easier...For any of us. Is there anything I can do for you? I have to keep asking because I know you are too stubborn to accept help when you need it."

Harry briefly closed his sore, tear-stained eyes, "I really don't know, Professor. People get mad when I say, 'I'm fine', but really…I'm just not dealing with anything much at all."

"I remember that empty feeling after the First War ended - " McGonagall paused, looking up at the gleaming castle in the horizon against the afternoon sun, " – I wanted to feel relieved that Voldemort was gone, and we won. Of course, in a way we did. However, we lost so many, as with your parents. The wizarding community took months to recover from such losses and devastation. People were still living in fear for a long time afterward. I remember having to console many grieving students the following school year – that was indeed a challenging year. This now feels like a repeat of those times, only difference now, is that our enemy is truly gone. But it does not make the pain any easier to bear."

With sorrow, Harry twirled his wand anxiously within his hands, "That's just it. All I feel are the losses. Those who fought and lost their lives. And it's not just the Hogwarts fight that still gives me nightmares, but every single year when I lost someone close to me. And I feel like I'm still losing people. Not only Severus' life, but Neville, and Lee, and all those others who were taken from us. I almost lost Ginny…" Harry had to stop himself from continuing because he felt fresh tears again. He felt the hand around his back rub soothingly, still.

"I know, Harry. All we can do now is attempt to focus our minds on other things. Without that, we will also be lost. We keep going, like we always have, " McGonagall reassured, reaching to squeeze his shoulder gently, "We are Gryffindors, after all. We don't back down without a fight. We are too stubborn to do such a thing, and I'm sure you can agree with that."

Harry tried to smile through his tears, "…Yeah, I suppose."

"I have sent out letters this morning – albeit a little late - So I hope you will receive yours when you arrive home. Owl post is a little slower these days, especially due to the damage in the Owlery during the battle, and loss of owls."

"I'll be there, Professor – I'll make sure of it. Though, Hogwarts could definitely do with a grief counselor this year, " Harry suggested.

The elderly witch nodded, "Yes, I have been considering that. Speaking of staff, I have spoken to Poppy Pomfrey on behalf of Kingsley, so I have suggested that she go directly to Grimmauld Place to see Severus at once."

"Good, " Harry was pleased by that, "I'll head there shortly, so Severus doesn't freak out when she shows up."

McGonagall shifted within her seat, and looked at Harry with deep concern, "I must ask, Harry. Is it really wise to keep Mr. Malfoy at headquarters? I was hesitant to bring that situation up earlier, but it could not go unnoticed. Surely you understand that we cannot trust him after all that he's done?"

"What else was I to do, Professor? He has agreed to help us. He's not proud of what happened, but I trust him enough to help us finally put an end to it. After all this, I really don't want anything more to do with him."

McGonagall appeared unconvinced, "I sure hope you made the right decision in regard to him."

"With Severus around, he won't dare do anything stupid. He's been helping me keep an eye on him, which has already been a huge help."

"How is Severus? He wouldn't speak a word to me the other day, and he had me deeply worried, " McGonagall placed a hand over her chest, seemingly heartbroken by the state of her friend.

Harry shrugged, "Dealing with things as best he can. He spoke to me yesterday, which was a relief. He was – and still is - in a bit of shock. I really don't want to go into it, but it really scared him."

"I'll attempt to talk to him again soon. You and Severus are alike in the way that neither of you will ever ask for help when you need it. I usually scold him for that."

Harry couldn't help but chuckle at the last remark, "Yeah, that seems right."

The Headmistress rose slowly from her perch beside Harry, "I apologise for my swift departure Harry, however, I have a few last-minute staff interviews lined up today – Take a wild guess on the position I am having difficulty with."

Harry grinned, thinking about the once-cursed DADA position, "Too bad you are a few years too soon with that. Just as long as it is someone competent enough to take on more than one year this time. I don't want to have to pick up the pieces when I finally get there."

The elderly witch tried her best to suppress a smirk, but it did not fare well, "I'm glad you find that amusing, Harry. I am, however, pleased you will be joining us this year. Please take care of yourself – I am always around if you do need to talk again." With a final friendly wave, the Headmistress departed Harry's company, leaving the younger Gryffindor feeling slightly more relieved and less tainted by his earlier sad reverie.

No longer wanting to be there, Harry began to make his way home in time to beat Madam Pomfrey to Grimmauld Place. He knew Severus would be incredibly grouchy if she showed up unannounced, so he made sure to have that brief discussion with him beforehand. Severus snarled in bitterness towards the idea, but eventually, he was able to agree to it. The Hogwarts Healer arrived an hour later in her usual white and soft blue attire, looking rather frazzled in her hasty visit. She glanced at Harry, shaking her head, possibly wondering what trouble they got up to now. Suddenly, Harry felt like he was eleven years old again. She was lovely but was known to be a little scary at times when you failed to listen to her advice. Though Harry was amused when she entered Severus' room and immediately reprimanded him upon entry, so Harry didn't feel quite as bad. In fact, she probably still saw the Potion's Master as a teenager she had once looked after in his youth, which added to the amusement. Despite Severus' growls and protests, Madam Pomfrey had finished her assessment within the hour and made haste back to the Headmistress, who reported to Minister Kingsley at once. Before she left, she did inform Harry that, should Severus decline further, that she could be contacted immediately. She was already pleased by their interventions so far, but she was worried that there will be a point where higher care would be needed. He was grateful for the offer, and thus, she set off back to Hogwarts to complete her report.

And as the Headmistress had mentioned, Harry had received his Hogwarts letter conforming his Seventh year as a student. He wasn't overly excited just yet considering what Draco had suggested previously, but he responded to the letter almost immediately while the owl was still present. Despite that, he had to wonder what a danger-free year would be like at Hogwarts. That was likely was he was looking forward to, the most.

The following day, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Luna gathered in the Grimmauld Place sitting room to go over the final touches to the article. So far, they were able to construct enough of an editorial to cover almost three entire pages of The Quibbler, much to Luna's delight. Luna by that point had planned a large five-page opening to the quirky newspaper paying tribute to those who lost their lives at the Battle of Hogwarts, and the eventual downfall of Voldemort. Being the first issue to be published since the Wars' end, Luna and her father wanted this issue to highlight those events and allow the wizarding community to remain informed. The campaign itself was more successful than he anticipated, and even a few people such as Katie Bell, and to Harry's shock – Seamus Finnigan, finally – had elected to add their piece in his support. Perhaps Dean had a good discussion with Seamus about it, and like Ron, was still slightly bitter towards the strict Potion's Master, but Harry was relieved they were finally able to see things from his point of view. That was a relief in itself.

So once the group was ready, Harry gave Luna the go-ahead to print. He did seem to feel a mixture of proud accomplishment, with a slight inkling of dread. He knew this was the right choice, and Rita Skeeter be damned, but he was going to make sure the wizarding world of Britain knew of Severus' heroics, despite what others may have perceived him to be. Not only to counter Rita's slandering article in The Daily Prophet but to support their plea to Severus' bid to complete freedom.

Over the course of the day, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny had paid every member of the DA a visit to gather names of anyone who was willing to stand in Severus' defense during the trial. There was quite a growing list, as Harry was pleased to see, even if some members needed to be more convinced than others. But they trusted Harry therefore they trusted his judgment. Given past situations where no one was willing to believe him, they seemed to have learned their lesson now and didn't hesitate to place their support. After not believing Harry when Voldemort had returned, they were sure not to make that mistake again.

The last thing Harry needed was to have the wizarding community of Britain calls him a liar again.

The following day, Harry had noticed his friends being extra secretive around him. He knew the day after would mark his eighteenth birthday, and he was adamant about not having a surprise party and didn't bother trying to hide those concerns. He really hated the idea of it, and he even threatened with leaving and not returning to Grimmauld Place just to smite the idea. Of course, Harry didn't want to offend anyone, but he clearly was not in the mood for such social pleasantries or even any event that would require him to plaster a half-smile on his face. Instead, he agreed to have a few people over to celebrate and appease the majority, since he had so many people asking about it. Harry didn't see what the big deal was, and he couldn't care less about celebrating another year older, especially knowing that he would want nothing more than to see those who were no longer with them, such as Sirius and Remus. It was too painful to think about.

Even Severus was a little more secretive, and even vague, whenever his friends mentioned 'birthday' around him, which had Harry feeling a little annoyed. He did not want people going through all the effort. Severus had told Harry that, for Draco's sake, the pair of them will venture elsewhere leaving Harry to the guests for the afternoon. Which, Harry also felt bad for that suggestion, but he had to remind himself that it was for one day only, and he just wanted it over and done with. Severus did not plan on sticking around to mingle, and Harry couldn't help but feel jealous that he didn't have that option. But he knew Severus really didn't have the energy to face the majority of them, so as saddened as Harry was with the decision, it was the wisest one.

He honestly wished Harry were anywhere else.

Harry admittedly, woke up a little grumpy on the morning of his birthday. He was more than prepared to see anyone with enough courage to jump out at him in surprise, and he was awfully close to hexing whatever poor sod decided to attempt it. Harry would have been more than fine for a small celebration, but instead, Grimmauld Place would become yet again, social central. So far, Ginny had bounded up the stairs late that afternoon being the first to greet Harry, which wasn't so bad. She had planted him with kisses, as they lay in bed together casually, salvaging some alone time to simply talk and relish in each other's company. In all honesty, Harry would rather do this for the remainder of the day and let the partygoers get drunk on firewhisky and rum downstairs if they so chose to.

After an hour, George and Angelina dropped by Grimmauld Place, while Harry was with Ginny upstairs. George thought it would be funny to send a Howler to the pair, telling Ginny to stop hogging Harry and to get downstairs. Harry couldn't help but flush with embarrassment and the intrusion of privacy with his girlfriend and hope that there not many guests downstairs to hear the Howler's rattling voice booming through headquarters. Of course, Harry and Ginny were only talking, but what was a birthday without a little unnecessary embarrassment for the birthday boy?

Thanks, guys. You couldn't be more discreet? Severus and Draco are still here, you bellend. Ugh, is it too late to bail out?

Begrudgingly, Ginny made her way downstairs to scold her brother, whilst Harry went to go shower and freshen up, along with a well-needed shave upon hearing Ginny's echo of his prickly facial stubble. After he got dressed, he made his way downstairs to see Severus' door slightly ajar on his way down. He poked his head between the door, to find Severus buttoning up his black suit top, over his crinkled white shirt. The man looked up upon Harry's entry.

"You really don't have to leave, you know, sir, " Harry felt a bit terrible, "Especially because you should be resting."

"I've had enough of Poppy's coddling yesterday, and I really do not require yours today, " Severus finished with the top few buttons, as far as the bandage on his neck will allow it, "Besides, it is wise that I do briefly depart. Can't have myself wilfully mingling with a crowd, a few of which are still hostile towards me. No, I will return later with Draco, when it is safe enough to do so."

Harry's shoulders slumped slightly, "Sorry. I didn't particularly want others over…"

"No matter. You only turn eighteen once, " Severus gingerly stood up, and slowly made his way towards his desk, where he picked up a bundle of rolled-up parchment held neatly together by a thin silver rope. He stood tall with a single-arm curtly beside his back as he stood before Harry, and held out the parchment for him to take, "Congratulations upon reaching a year older."

Harry blinked several times, staring at the thick bundle of parchment. He wasn't expecting anything from Severus for his birthday, so was immediately taken aback by the gesture. Eventually, Harry retrieved the parchment, not knowing how to respond, "You didn't have to get me anything, sir."

"I didn't have to, but it was imperative that I did, " Severus watched Harry carefully, as the Gryffindor slowly reached for the rope to untie. The man raised his eyebrow, and spoke firmly, "However, I will request that you are to open it later, understood?"

Harry released the hold on the rope, "Oh, uh, sure. Thank you."

"You haven't seen it yet, Harry. No gratuities are needed, " Severus turned on his heel and began to stash the medicinal potions at his bedside into a small brown leather pouch. Harry could see that the man felt slightly uncomfortable – was it the gift? Harry himself, remained unmoving from the spot, watching the Slytherin fumble with the glass vials with trembling, pale hands. Was that his cue to leave? He wasn't sure.

Harry bit his lip, holding the parchment roll close to his chest, "I-Is everything alright? Yeah, I know. It's a stupid question."

Severus had finished packing the vials and leaned forward onto the bedside table for a few moments to gather himself before he turned to face Harry once again. Harry could see closely at the man now. His eyes appeared bloodshot and exhausted, and Harry had to wonder if he was having nightmares, too. His thin lips dry and cracked along with some sections of his dark hair, which was noticeably thinner, and more fragile from what Harry could see. The man in the suit had lost much of the natural weight he had always sustained through the last seven years, except his poor appetite now which caused him to become alarmingly thinner. His clothes now were no longer as fitted as they were tailored to be. Harry could still hear a sickening crackle from the man's lungs with each struggled to inhale and exhale. The bandage on his neck could no longer conceal the blackened tendrils of the curse, which had now become to creep up to his jawline. He had to wonder how much of his body the curse had reached, and Harry had to summon whatever willpower he had left to look away from the wound that was ruining his life.

Severus saw the teenager avert his gaze from his wound, and the Slytherin uncomfortably shifted the hem of his suit, in his bid to divert the question, "Do – not – worry. I will return later."

"Sure, I'll just activate the button that says, 'worry not', and see how well that goes, " Harry stared blankly at Severus, who returned an unimpressed steely gaze upon his sarcasm, "Okay, fine. Just, take the Invisibility Cloak with you. And please don't give it to Malfoy. I'd rather not have to wrestle it from him, later."

Severus crossed his arms over his chest, and waited patiently for a few moments before continuing with slight amusement upon Harry's frequent concerns, "…Are you finished?"

The Gryffindor bit his lip, "I think so."

"Go your friends, Harry – " Severus reassured in a gentle tone, as he dropped his hands by his side, "- Enjoy yourself. Don't keep them waiting."

"Yeah. I'll try," Harry nodded, as he left the Slytherin and turned on his heel to drop the odd parchment off back into his room, in exchange for the Invisibility Cloak for Severus to utilise temporarily. He delivered Cloak without another word and joined the group in the sitting room who were all waiting patiently for him.

As Harry entered the room, he was surprised that it had filled up with so many people in the brief time he was upstairs. Besides the extra people now occupying the space, the room itself had been decorated upon his absence. There were charmed scarlet and gold balloons bouncing off the ceiling changing shape at every contact, with streamers hanging across the walls and dangling from the windows. Harry looked up to find that the ceiling had been enchanted to look like the sky outside, which was exactly the same charm used in the Great Hall at Hogwarts – he grinned in awe. The room had already been re-arranged temporarily, and across the back wall was a larger table transfigured, containing an assortment of savory dishes and sweets of all kinds. In the center of that table was a large three-tier cake, with chocolate frosting and a large enchanted '18' on the time, glowing a bright red like an electric Muggle neon sign. Beside the table, was a stack of gifts of all sizes from the guests.

He had to wonder if Ginny kept him in his room earlier on purpose so that they could set up downstairs, which also had him thinking if Severus was in on that too. Who else could enchant that ceiling?

Sneaky.

Besides the wonderful display and redecoration of the sitting room, Harry was shocked to find that there were so many people who decided to show up that afternoon. Aside from the entire Weasley clan including Percy, Bill, and Fleur, most of the remaining DA members decided to appear as well. Dean, Seamus, and Katie were playing a very competitive game of exploding snap by the fire. Hannah, Susan, and the Patil twins were gossiping away with mugs of butterbeer in their hands. Luna and her father were assisting Kreacher to set up the food table. Arthur and George were attempting to tackle a small gramophone to play some tunes to fit the mood, with Angelina standing amusingly by. Molly was engaging in conversation with McGonagall and Kingsley, whom the latter decided to drop by for a short visit. In the other corner, Andromeda was attempting to settle baby Teddy, which had Harry's heart do backflips within his chest – He was not expecting them to be here.

And of course, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny were beaming at him upon his entry.

"How…?!"

Hermione grinned, "Never you mind, Harry. I know you didn't want anything big and fancy, but some people wanted to see you. I couldn't exactly turn them away…"

"At least we don't have to worry about Voldemort crashing this party, " Ron said, handing Harry a mug of ice-cold butterbeer, "Here you go, mate. Happy birthday, you old bat."

"Thanks, Ronald, " Hermione smirked sarcastically at Ron, knowing full well she was the oldest out of the three of them.

Harry gratefully took the mug, "Thanks guys, really. I mean…This is incredible, despite you all going through all this trouble."

"I know it's a bit much, but it was fun to put together. It was Luna's idea for the decorations, and Snape enchanted the ceiling. That was fun to watch, " Ginny looked proud of their efforts, "And everyone else kept coming up with new ideas."

Hermione lowered her voice, "Is Snape going to be joining us?"

Harry shook his head, "No, he didn't want to intrude. Besides, none of these guys know about Malfoy and I want to keep it that way for now. They'll be back later."

"Good idea, to be honest, " Ron responded, as he took a large sip of his drink, "None of these guys will let Malfoy out alive. Bad enough Dad is still bitter about Snape, and seeing Malfoy? We don't need another Muggle showdown, as much as I can't stand the sight of that slimy git."

"Harry, dear!" Andromeda walked up to Harry, holding baby Teddy close to her chest holding out her free arm to embrace Harry into a welcoming hug. Despite the woman's uncanny resemblance to her deranged sister Bellatrix, Harry was happy to see that she made it here and had not expected that at all. At this point, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny snuck away to re-join the others, allowing Harry time with Andromeda and the baby, "Happy birthday!"

"It's really great to see you again, Andromeda – " Harry pulled out of the embrace, " – How are you holding up?"

The woman looked slightly fatigued, and sorrowful, "Oh, it's been rough. Teddy here has been keeping me busy, of course. I still can't believe they are gone…My husband, and daughter…" She appeared teary-eyed, and tried her best to stop herself from getting upset, "I'm sorry - I told myself I wouldn't get upset, but when Molly contacted me about your birthday, I couldn't say no."

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for Teddy. Things aren't safe right now, with the whole other Death Eater problem. But when it is, I can dedicate more time to him. I don't want to let you all down."

The woman's kind face shook her brunette locks, "Oh, nonsense, Harry. You haven't let any of us down. Thanks to you, we can all start to rebuild our lives once more. You have nothing to feel ashamed of, " Andromeda smiled warmly, "Would you like to hold him?"

"Oh, err…Yeah, of course. I'd love to, " Harry hesitated at first, not expecting the request. But as a Godfather himself, it'll be rude to refuse, "I've never held a baby before."

Andromeda giggled lightly, "Well, you're about to learn early. Now, hold your arms like this…Yes, that's it. Now your other arm under here like that…Great, wait, a little lower…Now hold still - " The woman gently lowered Teddy into Harry's folded arms, who writhed slightly upon being shifted to someone else, " - There you go. You got it!"

Harry stared down at the warm bundle within his arms, and upon the tiny face of a baby staring up at him with bright blue-green eyes. The baby wriggled slightly in his hold but greeted Harry with coos and gurgles. Harry was in awe – His heart leaped with joy at the opportunity, despite how honestly nervous he was. If only Remus and Tonks could be here now to see this. He couldn't let them down, no way. Looking upon the sweet face of Teddy made Harry even more determined to set the world right again. For babies like Teddy who lost their parents – much like he did – now to grow up in a new world recovering from such great losses. He was thankfully Teddy had Andromeda, who will love him unconditionally.

Teddy grasped Harry's offered finger, and held on tightly, "Hey, little one. Your mum and dad love you very much – they told me to tell you that."

Andromeda looked at Harry with tearful eyes, "…They did?"

Harry nodded, suddenly becoming tearful himself, "Yeah. I just wish they were here, too, to tell him in person."

Suddenly, Harry noticed the room fell silent, as all the guests were watching him closely with baby Teddy. Molly and McGonagall were beaming with pride, and Harry couldn't help but flush in mild embarrassment from the sudden unnecessary spotlight. After a few passing moments, Harry handed Teddy back to Andromeda who was about to feed him with the milk bottle ready in her hand. Harry joined the rest of the others and spent some time rotating around the room making sure to see every single person without missing anyone. He wasn't really in the mood to be sociable – Harry snorted to himself upon Severus' sarcastic remark several months ago about being a socialite – but he couldn't be rude, as much as he'd rather be alone somewhere to gather his thoughts.

After a while, the guests sang 'Happy Birthday', much to Harry's dismay and awkwardness. Molly began to cut the cake, and Arthur began to pour modest amounts of firewhiskey to everyone as a celebratory beverage.

"Speech time!" George yelled out, tapping his wand against his whiskey glass. A few others called out in agreement.

"Come on, Harry!"

"Do you need more firewhiskey for it?"

No, no, no, noooo. Please don't make me do a speech. Dammit, George.

With a defeated sigh, the room fell silent leaving Harry to his own devices, "I, err…Um, thank you all for being here. Not sure what else to say, since turning eighteen wasn't exactly what I was focused on this year. But I really appreciate you all more than I can express. I want to dedicate this to all those who could not be here to join us today. So…to our lost loved ones," Harry raised his glass.

"And to Harry Potter, whom we'd not be here without, " Arthur chimed in.

"To Harry!" Everyone cheered collectively, taking a simultaneous sip of their beverage.

Feeling the end of the party draw near, McGonagall and Kingsley departed the festivities to return to their obligatory posts, as Harry had been insisted on to begin opening his gifts. He wasn't a fan of the sudden spotlight on him during this task, but he really just wanted to get this over with. As much as he enjoyed everyone's company, he really did have his limits.

The first gift caught Harry by surprise immediately, which was given to him by Hermione, Ron, and Ginny together. Ron left the room briefly and returned with a large cage covered by a black cloth. Inside, was an owl. A great horned owl, with a beautiful fawn, grey and white feathered coat, and black markings on its face. His eyes were bright yellow and were significantly larger than Hedwig had been. Apparently, Harry's friends had been discussing this for a while, and Severus had decided to pitch in a few galleons to make up for the unfortunate loss of Hedwig. Harry had already known it was Severus who took Hedwig down in a bid not to blow Harry's cover during the sky battle from Little Whinging to a safe zone. So, it made sense for him to collectively assist with the latest owl purchase, and they must have done so when Harry was not home.

Harry had no idea what to name the owl, so he gathered he'd ponder on that later.

He spent the next quarter of an hour opening the other gifts, from a new broom maintenance kit, to more handmade sweaters from Molly, and an assortment of wacky gifts from George curtesy of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, a Quidditch ball set from Dean and Seamus, a stack of Charm and Transfiguration books from Luna and her father, lots of chocolate and sweets from the Patil twins, a package of joke novelties from Zonko's, and a fancy new quill and ink set from Hermione. Hermione had also told Harry that Hagrid had something for him but wanted to see Harry in person. Harry himself made a mental note to visit him tomorrow.

As the afternoon gradually turned to night, some of the guests began to leave Grimmauld Place, leaving the house in a slight mess as the numbers dwindled. The Weasley's departed, all but Ron and Ginny, with Andromeda and Teddy leaving soon after. After a few more rounds of butterbeer, the remaining DA members left, and the house was almost empty once more. By this point, Harry had released his owl from its cage, as it perched atop a stand in the corner of the room allowing a few friendly scratches from Harry as it did so.

Once Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Luna left, Harry was left alone once more. The day has been busy and exhausting at the least due to all that human interaction, but now he just looked forward to some quiet time in the now peaceful house. Harry snatched a chocolate chip cookie from the table and ventured upstairs towards his room. He kicked off his shoes and yawned heavily as he sat on the edge of the bed, eating the delicious cookie baked by Molly. Harry glanced over at his bedside table and saw the large stack of parchment that Severus had given him. Wiping the remnants of the cookie on his pants, he carefully began to undo the delicate silver rope binding the roll together. There were many pages rolled together, and Harry was able to flip through them, briefly scanning each page. It was a collection of spells, potions, and other tidbits of knowledge that was reminiscent of the information he sought from the Advanced Potions Making textbook from Severus himself. But in this case, every potion was detailed – some which he had never even heard of before – along with a list of his own personal spells, complete with small diagrams - that no one else knew. Each spell had a detailed description, along with their counter-curses and sigils. There was a page on battle tactics and defense, along with further knowledge pertaining to Defence Against the Dark Arts that Severus was likely not allowed to teach. There were even some pieces of literature and poems written and scattered throughout, which had Harry curious about.

It was a plethora of information that had Harry very eager to read and learn through it. But…Why did he give this to Harry? He assumed he was going to publish a book with it.

At the end of the roll of parchment, a small piece of paper slid out from the stack and fluttered to the floor. Harry picked it up – it was a letter written in Severus' familiar spidery scrawl:

Harry –

I am not adept in the way of expression, nor do I know if this would be understood by you, but I am far more comfortable in writing than I would do so verbally. Thus, I felt this letter was more appropriate. It is, by strange fate and turn of events, that we have now since reconciled and that is something I never anticipated would ever to happen. Regardless of that, I appreciate this wholeheartedly. There is a change within me, that is true. However, I fear it – not because it is a terrible thing, but because I am unfamiliar with such gratuitous territory. Regrettably, I do not know how to express any measure of love, and that is what I fear the most. It is impossibly sought after, and I struggle to express it.

Within this opportunity of finally understanding you, I realise my past harsh misjudgment has caused me to overstep many bounds in the past, and I cannot swiftly move past those mistakes. You know all of them, and thus, I have nothing left to hide from you now. But in knowing you, I have begun to learn a side of myself I never knew that I was capable of. I suppressed so much of myself over the years, that which forced me to become cold and ruthless. I was unnecessarily cruel, especially to you. I cannot accept the forgiveness you so freely give, because all I can think about is what could have been if I were not so warped by my past and consumed with the mission I dedicated my life to.

To finally know you know, many years too late has been a blessing I truly do not deserve after all the damage I have done. You have instilled a change within me and gave me a chance when no one else would. Whatever may transpire in the near future, I want you to know that I have always cared more than I dare to admit, and I want nothing more than for you to live a happy, fulfilled life. Please do not allow yourself to live with guilt, because you've seen firsthand how destructive and debilitating it can become. I do not want to see you live that life.

Harry, no matter how long I have left, I want you to know how immensely proud I am of you, and the impossible you've had to overcome. Although I wish I could have done more, we both succeeded in avenging Lily's life. I should never have underestimated you, and I am deeply sorry for all the pain I caused you.

Severus S.

Harry finished reading the letter with tearful eyes, mulling over the words several times to further absorb it into his heart. It was no wonder Severus had told him to read it later – Harry probably would not have been able to function otherwise if he did. He was far too sentimental to dismiss such a thing, and he had an inkling Severus knew that too. And to think that even Severus would have had a difficult time writing this, Harry was grateful that the man was finally able to open up and with each surprise in character, he was able to understand the man so much more. Harry could not understand why Severus was so desperate to hide the better parts of himself – why was he so scared to show them? Surely it had nothing to do with keeping his cover. On a personal level, he likely felt too much shame to do such a thing. But to see it marked on a page, further sunk it into his chest.

The front door gently shut, which Harry barely strained himself to hear amongst his heavily beating heart from the contents of the letter.

"Geez, what the hell happened in here? Gryffindors are definitely not classy partygoers. Bloody hell – " Harry rolled his eyes upon Malfoy's remark on the floors below.

Harry waited until he heard several doors shut before he proceeded to make his way downstairs. Severus was likely expecting him to pay him a visit, and despite that, Harry didn't know how to approach him this time. The gift, and especially the letter, he did not expect. It was heartfelt and honest, and Harry knew the man was still consumed by a lifetime of guilt. This letter, as Harry gathered, would have been incredibly difficult for him to write. Perhaps it was also why he felt slightly uneasy with giving him the parchment earlier – He was likely worried as to how Harry would receive those words he so carefully wrote. Harry exited his room, and slowly began to descend to the second floor until he reached Severus' room. Harry paused at the door in his bid to compose himself when eventually he knocked several times until the familiar baritone voice responded.

"Enter."

Harry clasped the door handle with a slightly shaky hand and turned it, slowly opening the door with a light creak, and stepped inside. He watched as Severus stood by the bed, gingerly removing his traveling cloak, looking a little worse for wear, and swaying slightly on the spot clearly fatigued and diminished of any energy he had left. As soon as Severus stripped off the cloak to throw it over the chair, he turned back exhaustedly towards Harry, whose eyes were still filled with tears. Severus hesitated at his appearance.

"I read the parchment – " Harry spoke quietly, " – W-why did you give that to me? I thought you wanted to publish it."

The man halted any immediate response, allowing the man to ponder deeply. Eventually, Severus spoke wistfully in return, "…Just in case."

Harry paused in a bid to quell his heavy heart, "I also read the letter." Severus at that point looked at the Gryffindor, without ushering a single word. Harry did not speak for fear of the bubble rising within his throat diminishing his own voice, and as he watched the man before him, his gaze seemed to soften. Severus lowered his head slightly, possibly as stricken as Harry was at that moment.

Without further thought, Harry made a few slow careful steps towards him, and within a risky decision, decided to wrap his arms around the man's torso, resting his head on his chest. Harry felt the man's sickly, wheezing breaths seem to constrict in the unexpected gesture, as his body went rigid upon contact. Harry could hear the man's racing heart struggle to keep up with the faltering man attempting to hold it together. But despite that, Harry held on tighter not knowing if the man was going to throw him off or decide to succumb to it. It felt like ages past, and possibly too long of a time for Severus to think about what to do next. Eventually, after several agonising minutes, Harry felt the returning arms wrap around him gently, feeling the man's thin frame start to soften from its rigidity, but he still held on tight. Harry's eyes watered again, as a few tears decided to soak into the man's chest. Harry felt heaved breaths from Severus, as he had the horrible feeling that he had never experienced such a gesture like this before, or for a long time at the very least.

Severus' head gradually rested against the top of Harry's, as they stood there together finally able to provide a measure of comfort to each other throughout these difficult times, that they both so desperately needed.