“You want to tell me what that was all about?”

Sev scowled at him. Why don’t you take a bloody guess, Potter! He blew raspberries at Harry around his thumb.

“I don’t appreciate the attitude, Severus.” Harry said sternly, an eyebrow raised in warning.

Sev sighed. How was it that Potter suddenly had this mysterious power over him? When in Merlin’s name did that come about? When Potter smiled, it made him want to smile back; when Potter went along with his prank a few minutes ago, it made him laugh; when Potter held him and comforted him, it filled him with a sense of calm, as well this bizarre fuzzy feeling that he had absolutely no desire to analyze right now; when Potter punished him with a time out, it made him swear to himself that he’d never do anything to deserve another again; and when Potter spoke to him in that tone of voice, it made his insides squirm, and he felt weighed down with guilt for some reason.

“Owy.” He murmured around his thumb, using his right hand to sign ‘sorry’ for good measure.

Harry nodded. He cast a Muffliato with a wave of a hand and settled back. “Now…you want to tell me why you suddenly reacted that way towards Remus?” Harry took a guess in an effort to make this easier for both of them. “Does this have to do with the Shrieking Shack incident way back when?”

Severus shifted in his sling, staring up at Harry with sad dark eyes. He nodded.

Ever since Black played that nearly-fatal prank on him all those years ago, Severus has had an almost acute phobia of werewolves. He couldn’t even look at Lupin for over a month without shaking uncontrollably. Severus recalled locking himself in the bathroom for hours on end, meditating, occluding his mind, and practically beating himself like a house-elf in an effort to keep his fear at bay. Eventually, he was able to shut it away, and when he could finally look at Lupin again, loathing, rather than fear, emerged.

As an adult, Severus was able to strengthen his shielding and fine-tune his meditation techniques so that the fear never, ever reared its ugly head. Though it took much effort, he even managed to tone down his hate for the man, which Dumbledore practically required of him during that year that Lupin taught at Hogwarts. Yet now, Severus was a baby; and though he still had all his adult memories, he no longer had the control over his mind that he used to. Frankly, Severus was proud of the fact that he was able to forestall his panic attack for so long. When they had first arrived, Severus had clung to either Harry or Ginny like they were a lifeline, then he was asleep for most of the other time, and when he awoke, he kept himself distracted with the ice cream and by repeating ‘Potter killed the Dark Lord, he can kill Lupin too’ in his head like a mantra. But when the werewolf crossed into his personal space and Potter did nothing to stop it, fear’s ugly head reared with a vengeance. 

Now how in the bloody hell am I supposed to tell Potter all of this?! Severus whined in frustration around his thumb.

“There’s a larger story behind this, isn’t there?” Harry asked

Severus signed ‘yes’, then whined some more and began shifting in his sling out of frustration.

“Hey, hey, hey…” Harry chided, tightening his arms in comfort while readjusting his hold on the infant, “Calm down. Shhh…” Harry knew Severus was frustrated because he didn’t have any way of relating his story. He could only make a handful of sounds, he knew even less signs, and his fingers were barely able to pick up a piece of cereal, much worse hold and write with an actual quill. Then something occurred to him. “Sev.” He called gently, “Sev, listen to me, cub.”

The baby settled down after a few moments and focused all his attention on the loose fabric inside the sling. He began picking on it with his fingers. Harry sighed and gently ran his fingers through Sev’s soft baby hair until those cheerless eyes finally refocused on him. “I know one way you can tell me your story, without me having to do any translating whatsoever.” The baby’s eyes widened slightly. “But you’re going to have to trust me—implicitly. Without your trust, it isn’t going to work?”

“Wa?” Sev asked around his thumb.

“I want to ligilimize you.” Harry told him softly, “I promise to only look at what you show me and nothing more. Before I do anything, I promise to give you advanced warning, and if you wish me to leave at any point, all you’ll have to do is shout ‘no’ in your mind and I’ll hear you and oblige.”

Potter’s a ligilimens? A ligilimens?! That’s not possible! He’s not even an occlumens! I refused to give him any more lessons after that whole pensieve incident. It was a wonder our whole operation was never compromised with his connection to the Dark Lord and all. Although…come to think of it, I did find it a might strange that Dumbledore suddenly completely reversed his decision to keep Potter in the dark one day, out of the blue. I never really did find out why he discouraged us from telling Potter anything one day, and then encouraged us to tell him everything the next. That was careless of me—not investigating the old man’s unusual behavior. Then again, Dumbledore is generally the definition of unusual on his best of days.

“How about I share something with you first? Then you can decide if you rather let your problem fester in there like an open wound, or allow me to help you heal it. How does that sound?”

Well when he puts it that way…Sev grimaced internally. An open wound? Yuck!

Suddenly, he was bombarded with image upon image of open wounds, yellow from infection and oozing pus. There were bodies missing limbs, limbs missing bodies, sightless eyes staring back at him. There were people—muggles, mudbloods, half-breeds, and blood traitors—dead, blue and purple with their mouths hanging open, staring back at him, their eyes full of shock and betrayal.

Severus immediately broke down in tears. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Harry screwed his eyes shut, “Potter, you’re an idiot!” He berated himself aloud. Open wound. Yeah. Good job! Make him remember everything he wants to forget. Moron!

The teenager sighed. Here goes nothing. Harry ran his fingers through the baby’s soft hair once again, before resting his palm on the infant’s head.

Wave upon wave of white, calming energy suddenly flooded Sev’s mind. The dark images that overtook him only moments ago were now being chased away by a bright white light. No. Not chased. Destroyed! Sev realized. Tentacles emerged from the light and pushed the gruesome images away into a white void, allowing them to fly for some distance before attacking them with something akin to lightning. Sev took an intense delight in watching the offending pictures being hurled into oblivion then burned to ashes before his mind’s eye. After a few minutes of idle watching, he wanted to try it himself.

Almost immediately, a little boy materialized in his mind. He must have been about five years old, had dark brown (almost black) eyes, and jet-black hair that touched the base of his neck and obscured his vision. That’s me. Sev realized, after he had had a good look at the child. That was me when I was five. Soon after the boy appeared, the white light approached him and began retracting unto itself until a very familiar man stood in its place. Severus gaped. Potter!

Sev continued to watch through his mind’s eye as Potter crouched next to the boy, offered him a ribbon to tie his hair with, and then proceeded to instruct him on how to throw the dark images out and how to burn them.

“Watch me first, alright? I’ll do one, and then you’ll do one.” The boy nodded eagerly and Harry smiled. Picking up one of the dark images from where they were piled next to the mind’s eye, Harry grasped it by its edge, wrapped a finger around a corner, and then rolled it into his arm, preparing to fling it like a Frisbee. “You have to take it first, embrace it and accept as part of your past—like so. And once you’ve done that, gather your energy, and…fling!” He flung the rectangular picture into the air and it flew high and far into the void. “Then!” Harry held up an empty hand and showed it to the boy. “You focus all your energy. You tell yourself that this is the past, that this isn’t your fault, that you are no longer this person, that you have atoned for these sins, and that it is now time to move on. If you tell yourself this and believe it,” a fireball appeared in his hand, “you get this. And, of course, after this comes the fun part.” He stood up and lobbed the fireball at the flying picture, watching as it hit and burned it to ashes. The five-year-old Sev grinned up at him, enjoying the show.

“Now you try it, cub.” Harry stood behind him and gripped his shoulders in support, giving the child a gentle smile.

Sev nodded and gulped. “Okay.” He approached the images cautiously and took one. It was a picture of an old man—naked, missing an arm and a leg, with various gashes and bruises along his body. Sev could feel his breaths becoming shallower and more erratic. Then all of a sudden, two strong hands wrapped around his hands and guided him in gripping and embracing the picture. “Remember. This is part of your past. You don’t have to like it. Just accept it.” A calming voice whispered in his ear. “You can’t run away from things like this, Sev. You can’t push them to the back of your mind and ignore them your whole life.” The boy swallowed, took a deep breath, and nodded. “Now…pull back and…release!” Sev launched the picture high into the air and far into the distance. “Excellent! Now…cup your hand…” Sev nodded, his small cupped hand resting neatly inside Harry’s bigger one. “Now tell yourself everything I told you earlier. Say it out loud. Say it and mean it, my boy!”

Sev closed his eyes. “This is my past. This is not my fault. I am no longer this person. I have atoned for these sins. Now it’s time to move on.” He repeated it over and over under his breath until he felt a tingling in his hand. Sev’s eyes shot open to find a fireball resting within his palm. He grinned up at a smirking Harry. “Now’s the fun part?”

“Now’s the fun part, Sev. Burn it!” The little boy threw the fireball towards the dark image and the picture abruptly burst into flames. “Whoa! Nice shot!” Harry chuckled. Then he gestured towards the rest of the images in the dark pile. “Shall we?” Together, Sev and Harry had the time of their lives launching bad memories into the air and burning them to ashes.

“Right! Excellent!” Harry beamed as he dusted his hands off. Little Sev mirrored him with a grin. “Now that that’s done, how about we return to our original topic, shall we?”

The smile quickly faded from Sev’s face and his head hung low as he suddenly developed an interest in the non-existent white floor.

“Ai! Come now, Sev, you didn’t find that last exercise too horrible, did you?” Harry crouched before him. “And besides, I said I’d share one of my memories with you before I asked you to share one of your memories with me. It’s only fair.” He brushed the boy’s fringe out of his eyes and smiled gently at him. “Remember—you can’t run from these things your whole life.”

“I’m not running!” The child retorted defensively.

Harry chuckled slightly and raised his hands in surrender. “Alright. My mistake. You’re not running.” He stood up and held a hand out to the boy. “Come then, cub, and I’ll lead you into my mind.”

Sev took it hesitantly and gazed up at Harry with childish curiosity. “What memory are you going to show me?”

“I don’t know.” Harry smiled gently down at the boy as they walked along the white void. “We’ll see what comes up, shall we?”

“Why do you call me ‘cub’?” Sev asked out of the blue.

“I bet your pardon?”

“You call me ‘cub’. Why?” He asked again, curiosity spiking his voice.

Harry narrowed his eyes at Sev playfully. “Why don’t you tell me?”

The five-year-old bit his lip in contemplation. “Well…I figure it’s because of one of two reasons—you’re either an Animagus and the animal you assume calls its young ‘cubs’…”

Harry nodded. It was a good assumption. “Mm-hmm. Or…?”

“Or…it’s because you’re a Gryffindor and your house symbol is a lion and lions call their young ‘cubs’.” When Harry’s hand squeezed his lightly, Sev knew he had his answer. “So I’m like a lion’s cub, then.” He assumed.

“Why? Does that bother you?” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed at the young man, uncertainty creeping into his voice for the first time. “Would you rather I called you something else?”

Sev shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t mind being called a cub.”

“You were in Slytherin. Would you rather I called you ‘hatchling’?” Harry suggested.

Sev grimaced. That didn’t sound nearly as nice as ‘cub’ did. In fact…it sounded just plain weird! Hatchling. Sev shuddered. It made him sound like an alien-devil spawn from hell that just popped out of a lumpy, green, fleshy egg-pod full of goo and slime and disgusting purple veins that ran up the walls of the incubator room the egg-pods were being kept in. Yuck! Sev had absolutely no desire to be associated with that image ever again. Besides…if he was to be honest with himself, being called ‘cub’ sounded almost natural. It made him feel like he was part of a pride or a pack, as well as left him with this vague fuzzy feeling in his chest that he still had no desire to analyze right now.

Sev shook his head. “No, thank you.” He answered politely. “It sounds strange. Besides…you weren’t in Slytherin. It’d be even weirder.”

Harry chuckled. “Actually…if I had left it up to the hat, I would’ve been.”

The little boy’s eyes widened and his head shot upwards to stare at Harry with surprise. “What do you mean ‘if you left it up to the hat’? Isn’t it up to the hat to begin with? What did you do, talk it into putting you in Gryffindor? Were you really meant to be in Slytherin, then? Why didn’t you want to come into my house? Is it because you listened to all those bastards—”

“Hey! Watch it!” Harry raised a warning finger.

Sev rolled his eyes and glared. “That was it then, wasn’t it? You listened to those ba—dumb people,” he corrected at Harry’s warning glare, “and their biased opinions about Slytherin and dark wizards, didn’t you?!” His tone was accusatory.

“Know the facts before you go accusing me of anything, Severus.” Harry replied sternly. Sev averted his gaze. “And for your information, no—that was not the reason I chose not to be in Slytherin.” He stopped walking and turned to face the young boy completely. “The reason I didn’t want to be in Slytherin was entirely due to one person—Draco Malfoy.” Sev froze and peered up at Harry. An uneasy feeling settled in his gut; as if he’d come across this situation before. “We met on the Hogwarts Express that day, and he took it upon himself to insult my first ever friend—Ron. Well…needless to say, I turned down his bid for friendship when he made one. I may have been desperate for friends, but there was no way on God’s green earth that I was going to surround myself with fake ones, no matter how desperate I was. That was the point our ‘legendary’ rivalry began.”

The room swirled around them and soon the white void dissipated entirely to show images and flashes from the life of a young Harry Potter.

An image flashed of a four-year-old Harry being dragged to a cupboard by his hair and being thrown in violently, his uncle securing a padlock to each of the ten locks on the door. “Stay in there, you little freak! I won’t have you ruining my party and robbing Dudley of his friends!” His uncle boomed from the hallway. “Oh, and BOY…if you make one peep from in there, that lashing I gave you last week will pale in comparison to the beating I’ll give you if you make a noise. Do you understand me, freak?!”

Flash!

They see the same four-year-old Harry looking longingly through the crack at the bottom of the cupboard door, watching as the shadows of Dudley and his party friends saunter by. They were laughing, talking, and having fun. Harry sighed sadly. He sniffed and happened to smell the food they also seemed to be carrying. His stomach growled loudly in response. Suppressing a groan, Harry wrapped his arms around his middle and curled into a ball next to the door. He hadn’t eaten in three days.

Flash!

Seven-year-old Harry dashed through the alley at top speed, dodging trashcans, dumpsters, trash bags, puddles, and rats. Not far behind him ran a group of six or seven boys. The ones at the front of the group were smaller, lighter, and faster than the ones at the back of the group. The heavier boys, though, carried with them chains and sticks, intent on beating their prey to a pulp upon capture. “Harry! Come now, Harry, you know running away is useless!” Dudley taunted from the back of the group. “We’ve played this game before. You know the Harry Hunters won’t rest until you’re captured and taught your place like the animal you are!” At that, the other boys in the gang whooped and cheered, seeming to gain energy and ground due to their leader’s encouragement. Harry spared them only a glance before turning down another alleyway and promptly running into a fence. “No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” The young boy looked around frantically, looking for some way to defend himself. He could hear Dudley’s gang approaching rapidly. “Think, think, think!” Then he saw it—something slithering from the field on other side of the fence over to the alley on his side. “Harry!” He heard around the corner. “He went behind there! Let’s get him!” Throwing all caution to the wind, Harry threw aside the trashcans the snake was slithering behind and came face to face with a European Viper. Moving faster than he thought possible, Harry snatched the snake behind the head before the thing could even look in his direction, and picked it up. When the boys skidded around the corner, fists and weapons raised in expectation, Harry held up the snake and waved it at them. Dudley and has gang froze. “Come one foot closer and I’ll have him bite you!” To his delight, the snake seemed to hiss in agreement, opening its mouth wide and showing its fangs. The boys blanched, dropped their weapons, and ran crying back the way they came. Harry breathed a sigh of relief and soon released the snake with a word of apology and gratitude. The snake assured him it was fine.

Flash!

“Do not ever, ever, EVER threaten my Dudley or his friends EVER again!” Harry’s uncle bellowed, bringing his belt down over and over and over again unto Harry’s already-bruised and bleeding back. “Threatening my Dudley with a snake! HUH?!” Lash! Lash! Lash! “The Devil’s child, you are! The Devil’s child! FREAK!” Then he flipped the poor little seven-year-old over and started pummeling his chest with the strap.

Flash!

The kids at school looked at him with disgust, fear, and loathing. He could hear whispers, but couldn’t make out what they were. When he sat down at a lunch table, everyone else stood up and moved. Dudley and his friends looked back at him from where they sat and snickered. Harry glowered. They must’ve made up some cover story about the alley incident with the snake. It’s most likely the one Uncle Vernon heard as well. The one he had gotten beaten for last night. He could hear the whispers now. “Devil’s child”, “Freak”, “Satan’s spawn”, “Stay away from him!”, “He might let a snake loose on you!”, “Don’t even look at him!”, “He’s evil!”. Harry sighed. He was used to this by now. Every time he came to a new school, Dudley would find some way to scare his friends away. Now everyone looked at him with disgust and kept at least ten feet away from him. As he walked home, he could hear the neighbors whisper from their porches. “That’s the Dursley’s nephew—troublemaker, that one.”, “I hear he steals—from them and from other people as well.”, “Watch your daughters. That boy might come after her. I hear he’s a right pervert, that one. Gets into fights a lot, too, so guard your sons well.” His uncle’s and aunt’s doing, no doubt. Now even the entire neighborhood hated him. Left him alone. Friendless. The lonely, lowly freak of nature.

Flash!

Sev and Harry now stood in the back room of Madam Malkin’s Dress Robes for All Occasions. On one stool stood eleven-year-old Harry, being fitted for robes by Madam Malkin herself. On the stool next to him stood an equally young Draco Malfoy. “My father’s next door buying my books and mother’s up the street looking at wands,” He had a bored, drawling voice. “Then I’m going to drag them off to look at racing brooms. I don’t see why first years can’t have their own. I think I’ll bully father into getting me one and I’ll smuggle it in somehow.”

As the scene played on, Sev tugged on older-Harry’s robes. The seventeen-year-old lifted the five-year-old into his arms.

“Has Malfoy always been this way?” Sev whispered into his ear.

Harry raised an eyebrow at him. “You haven’t noticed?!” His eyes widened in surprise.

“No. I’ve noticed.” Sev shrugged. “It’s just…I thought…I didn’t realize it was this pronounced. I thought they were all isolated incidences, small lapses of judgment and whatnot.” He shuddered. “He reminds me a lot of…” he bit his lip, eyeing Harry warily.

The teenager peered at him with a raised eyebrow and a gentle smirk, “James Potter and Sirius Black?”

Sev blushed and leaned his forehead against Harry’s shoulder, watching the rest of the scene play out.

“I really don’t think they should let the other sort in, do you?” Malfoy went on. “They’re just not the same, they’ve never been brought up to know our ways. Some of them have never even heard of Hogwarts until they get the letter, imagine. I think they should keep it in the old wizarding families. What’s your surname, anyway?”

Flash!

Harry sat shirtless upon his beat-up, barren cot in Dudley’s now-bare second bedroom. He was tending to his newly-inflicted injuries. The calendar behind him read Sept. 1st and the clock read 12:14AM. Half the time, he muttered under his breath about how he was going to hide these injuries from everyone once he got to school. The other half of the time, though, he prayed. He prayed for two things—one, that the police come and arrest Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia for child abuse, and two, that he make at least one friend when he got to Hogwarts.

Flash!

Sev and older-Harry watched as eleven-year-old Harry met Ron and the other Weasleys, how he watched from inside his compartment as they realized who he was, and how Ginny squealed and begged her mom to meet him. “Oh, Mom, can I go on the train and see him, Mom, eh please…”

Sev sat up in older-Harry’s arms and met the teenager’s eyes. They both grinned at each other and Harry commented, “Oh, I am so going to rub that in her face when we get back later.” Sev giggled into his shoulder as they continued to watch the scene.

They watched as the Ron explained everything to Harry, Harry bought out a cart of candy, and the boys met Neville and Hermione in passing. Finally, Malfoy showed his ugly face. “Is it true?” he said. “They’re saying all down the train that Harry Potter’s in this compartment. So it’s you, is it?” Harry nodded and Malfoy introduced himself and his two goons. Then he turned to Ron, “No need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford.” He turned back to Harry. “You’ll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don’t want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.” He held out his hand to shake Harry’s, but Harry didn’t take it. “I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks,” he answered coolly. Malfoy blushed slightly. “I’d be careful if I were you, Potter,” he growled, his eyes narrowing. “Unless you’re a bit politer, you’ll go the same way as your parents. They didn’t know what was good for them, either. You hang around with riffraff like the Weasleys and that Hagrid, and it’ll rub off on you.” Both Harry and Ron stood up.

“Yeah, he definitely reminds me of James Potter and Sirius Black…but in a different way.” Sev whispered in older-Harry’s ear.

“A Lucius-Malfoy-tinged James Potter and Sirius Black, then.” Harry suggested.

Sev shuddered. “That’s such a bad combination.” Harry chuckled.

Flash!

They stood next to the stool at the sorting ceremony. Malfoy approached the seat and sat down. As the hat neared his head, it screamed out “Slytherin!” and the blonde boy smirked before heading over to said table. He met Harry’s eyes in challenge along the way. “If he’s going to be in Slytherin, I want to be in the furthest house from it.” Harry hissed at Ron, his eyes never leaving Malfoy’s haughty form. “Then you’ll want to be in Gryffindor, mate.” Ron whispered in reply. “Potter, Harry!” As Harry sat on the stool, the older-Harry and Sev leaned in to listen to the hat’s quiet words. “Hmm…Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There’s talent, oh my goodness, yes — and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that’s interesting… So where shall I put you?” There was a slight pause. “Not Slytherin, eh?” It continued, “Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it’s all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that. No? Well, if you’re sure…” The hat thought for a moment. “Better be…GRYFFINDOR!”

There was a deafening applause, but it soon faded into the distance as the world dissolved around them and they found themselves standing in a white void once again.

Harry bent down and placed Severus back onto his feet. “Now…I got déjà vu watching that. Did you?” He looked at the little boy expectantly.

Sev blushed and looked away shyly. “I…I had no idea our lives were so…similar.” He said softly.

Harry crouched before him and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “And thus I reiterate—know the facts before you go accusing anyone of anything, Severus.” He tipped the boy’s chin so that Sev was looking at him, and gave the child a gentle smile. “Prejudice—willful or ignorant—has no place in this world. Understand?”

The five-year-old peered at him through his fringe. He smiled shyly and nodded.

Harry beamed. “Excellent.” He stood up and peered into the distance. “Now…I do believe you have something to show me, don’t you, cub?” The little boy froze, gazing up at Harry warily. The teenager sighed. “Let me ask you a question, okay, Sev? Imagine you’re a butterbeer enthusiast. You make your own butterbeer. One day, you take an empty bottle, fill it with butterbeer, then clamp a lid on it tightly, sealing it inside. Someone else then takes this bottle and, in a bout of childish folly, decides to give it a good shake. What do you reckon will happen if you so much as put a tiny bit of pressure on the bottom of that lid?”

Sev answered slowly and softly. “It’ll explode.”

“This is why you cannot simply bottle up feelings and emotions like you did when you were an adult.” Harry continued. “Granted, at that point they hadn’t exploded yet…” Then something occurred to him, “Or perhaps they did…?”

Sev gazed up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Perhaps when you woke up from your coma a few days ago, all your bottled up feelings and emotions finally did explode. I mean, you did try to kill yourself…”

“…and ended up like this.” Sev finished bitterly. “Not even like this. I’m five months old and can’t even talk yet!” He spat, scowling at the ground.

“There! So do you see now how it isn’t healthy to keep things like that bottled up?” Harry pushed gently.

Sev narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re one to talk about keeping things bottled up! How many people have you told about the child abuse you endured growing up? Neglect, physical abuse, emotional abuse—from those muggles and from me, I’m not denying it.” He paused mid-rant, a horrible thought entering his mind. The only one left out was sexual abuse. The very idea made him gulp and blanch. He studied Harry’s blank face and was suddenly reminded of the present conversation, “There’s bound to have been a ton of feelings and emotions associated with every beating and every foul name. I know it! Yet I haven’t seen any of it. Not one bit! I didn’t even get one image of the abuse when we were doing Occlumency together! That only suggests the emotions and everything associated with the images are buried much deeper!”

Harry’s jaw tightened. Screwing his eyes shut, he took a calming breath. Then another. Then another. Then he threw his eyes opened and glared at the child. “That is not my fault!” He hissed, “I am a natural occlumens, Severus. It’s a defense mechanism and a survival tactic. I wasn’t able to completely control my mind until the end of my fifth year, when I mastered controlled Occlumency—without your help, I might add.” He pointed an accusing finger at the child. Then he seemed to realize what he was doing for he turned away abruptly, cursing under his breath. After a few more calming breaths, he continued in a much more controlled voice. “It is very…difficult for me, cub—”

“It’s difficult for me too!” Sev blurted out indignantly.

Harry sighed and studied the boy for a full minute. “Are you a natural occlumens or a learned one?” The boy gave him an assessing look. “Oh, for Merlin’s sake, Sev, one is not better than the other one! Just answer the bloody question!” Harry ordered exasperatedly. 

“A learned occlumens.” Sev answered warily.

“Then it’ll be easier for you to overcome your fear of werewolves than it would be for me to overcome my feelings regarding my aunt and uncle and their treatment of me. It’s a matter of circumstance, Sev! It’s like having a package full of memories to hide and having an entire building full of empty rooms in which you could hide it. A learned occlumens knowingly takes the package to a room number of his choosing and hides it in there. If he needs the package again, for whatever reason, he knows where to find it. A natural occlumens, on the other hand, unknowingly takes the package to a random room and hides it in there. It would take me much, much longer to get over something than it would take for you to get over it.” He tipped Sev’s head so that the boy was meeting his eyes. “Comprendé?”

Sev rolled his eyes and sighed, his shoulders drooping slightly. “Fine.” He muttered reluctantly.

“Thank you.” He squeezed the back of Sev’s neck in support. “We can talk about my past another time. Until then, I kindly ask that you keep it between us.” He raised an eyebrow at the boy and received a reluctant nod in return. “Thank you, again. Now…shall we take a foray into your mind this time?”

Sev grimaced and replied in a put-out sort of voice, “Must we absolutely do that?” He eyed the teenager pleadingly.

Harry chuckled and picked up the five year old once again, “Yes, cub, we must.”

“My life sucks.” Sev sighed dramatically into Harry’s shoulder as the teen retraced their previous steps through the white void.

“That’s all a matter of opinion, my boy.” Harry smirked. “Now…tell me about the Shrieking Shack incident—the whole story this time.”

Sev sighed and the white void dissipated around them to bring them to a hallway in Hogwarts.

They were following a young Severus Snape as he trekked through the hallway to the library. He stopped by Madame Pince’s desk to ask a quick question before winding his way through the various tables and settling into one of the desks on the far side of the room, his back against the wall. He then proceeded to pull out a book on Hogwarts’ history, a book on magical trees, and a book of charms. He opened all three to different pages, took out some parchment and ink and quill, and buried his nose in the books. “Snape, don’t you know how to write without sticking your face so close to the paper?” Sirius Black’s voice startled Severus slightly but he was able to prevent it from showing too much. “Black!” He spat, pulling out his wand and pointing it under the table at the boy that dared sit across from him. “What do you want? And where’s your little gang at?” Black looked bored. “I don’t know. They’re off studying somewhere.” Severus sneered. “And why aren’t you? Books too good for you? Or is it that you can’t even read?” Black sat up and glared. “If I can’t read, how do I know you’re doing research on the Whomping Willow right now, eh?” Severus snatched his parchment from the desk and buried it in his satchel. “Interesting tree, the Whomping Willow, don’t you think?” The other boy continued, leaning back on his chair nonchalantly and studying his nails. Severus continued to sneer and waved a dismissing hand at him. “Get lost, Black! Go bother someone who actually cares about your blathering.” Black ignored him. “Did you know that there’s this knot at the base of the trunk that you can poke that’ll immobilize the tree? Yeah. It’s real neat. Remus found out about it in first year and ever since then he’s been using the secret passage every—” Black stopped abruptly, eyes widening in momentary shock. Then in a blink he seemed to get control of himself and turned away. “Uh…” he cleared his throat uncomfortably, “…um…never mind what I said, Snivellus. Get back to your ridiculous Whomping Willow research!” Sirius stood rather quickly, looking flustered. With a half-hearty wave and a lame “Cheerio,” Black hastily retreated from the library. Severus saw him smack himself on the head a few times on the way out. As quickly as he could, Severus wrote down everything he just heard from Black.

Flash! 

It worked! It bloody worked! Black was right! Severus used a levitating charm to poke the knot at the base of the tree with a big stick, and now the tree was sufficiently paralyzed! Severus felt proud of himself. He found the secret passage easily enough and slipped down. The tunnel was a bit of a tight fit but he managed well enough. Once Severus emerged at the other end, he found himself—to his unending surprise—at the Shrieking Shack! The place appeared completely abandoned and everything was just a wreck. Suddenly, a loud noise came from the upstairs landing and Severus took it upon himself to investigate. The prospect of catching someone—hopefully a Gryffindor—and turning them in made him feel giddy all over. As quietly as he could, he crept up the stairs and peered through the middle crack in the double doorway. Remus Lupin lay writhing on the floor of the room beyond. He was screaming at the top of his lungs and looked to be possessed. Severus immediately drew his wand. Then, all of a sudden, the moonlight filtered through the flimsy curtains and Lupin froze on the floor. He was positioned on all fours and his back was arched. Then something strange happened. Severus blinked and a creature of some sort suddenly appeared in Lupin’s place! Whatever it was let out a loud howl.

A hand grabbed Severus’ shoulder and the boy shot around to come face to face with none other than James Potter! “What are you doing here, Snape! Are you bloody crazy?! RUN!” Before Severus could even blink, Potter was pushing him down the stairs and back into the passageway. “Faster, you bloody idiot! FASTER!” It was then that Severus registered the sound of claws against wood and then rock. He heard the snarl of the creature closing in behind them, and adrenaline started pumping in his veins. “FASTER, SNAPE, FASTER!!!” Potter bellowed, forcing the other boy to match his speed. When they got to the entrance to the secret passage, Severus jumped up and Potter boosted him the rest of the way with his foot. Severus stopped to take a breath once he got outside, but when Potter popped up beside him, the other boy would have none of it. He grabbed Severus by the back of the robes and threw him in the direction of the castle. “Go, Snape. RUN! Don’t stop running until you’re INSIDE the castle! I’ll distract him!” He then ran in the opposite direction, towards the Forbidden Forest. As Snape dashed up the steps to the Entrance Hall, he could hear a snarl and a bark in the distance.

Flash! 

Severus sat alone on one end of the Slytherin table, munching on cereal. It was rather early and there weren’t that many people about. On a whim, he glanced over to the Gryffindor table and his eyes met with Lupin’s. Suddenly, Severus froze mid-chew and his spoon fell out of his hand and bounced off the edge of the bowl. Taking advantage of the distraction, Severus tore his eyes away from the other boy and focused his gaze on his fallen spoon. That was when he began noticing the fact that he was trembling horribly. Bending down, Severus made to retrieve the spoon, but it bounced out of his hand and clanked on the floor once again. He tried again, and again the spoon fell and clanged. Severus’ shaking was now even more pronounced and people close by were starting to stare at him. Severus swallowed. Pushing away his bowl, the boy shouldered his satchel and quickly dashed out of the room. He found an empty lavatory on the seventh floor and locked himself in. He splashed some cold water on his face and took several deep breaths. Still, the shaking wouldn’t abate. His nerves finally began to calm after several minutes, a sink full of water, and a harsh slap to each of his cheeks.

Flash!

Severus locked himself in the same bathroom again. This time, he sat there and meditated until his shaking abated. The next time he locked himself in, he performed several occlumency exercises. The time after that, he began slapping himself. Thus went several more flashes—Severus locked himself in the bathroom and splashed water on himself, occluded, meditated, or slapped himself silly until his shaking subsided.

Flash!

The final image showed Severus passing a lone Remus in the hallway. Lupin smiled amicably at him, but Severus did not return the sentiment. Instead, he scowled fiercely at the other boy, pulling his wand from its hiding place and holding it stiffly at him side until Lupin turned the corner.

“Okay. Let’s pause here, shall we?” Harry broke in suddenly. He held up a hand and the world around them froze in place.

Sev lifted his head from Harry’s shoulder and looked around. “Why?”

“Because I want to help you resolve this issue, and I feel this is a good place to start.” Harry explained. “After this, I’m going to show you a bit of my memories of Remus.” He placed Sev down on the floor and knelt before him. “Two things determine your reality—your experience and your focus. All the memories you have of Remus are either bad or neutral, am I correct? You have no good ones of him?”

Sev thought about it for a minute before shaking his head.

Harry nodded. “That’s what I thought. Alright. That’s the experience part of the issue. We’ll deal with that soon. Using this particular scene, however, we’re going to deal with the focus part.” He stood up and, placing a gentle hand on the boy back, guided Sev over to his teenage self. “Now…I want you to tell me everything that was going through your mind at this point.” Harry told Sev.

The teenage Severus stood frozen in the middle of the hallway, wand drawn and stiff at his side. He had his complete attention on Remus and was solely focused on watching him as he walked away. “All I wanted was for him to walk away.” Sev answered after a moment of contemplation. “I was able to control the shaking by then, but not by very much. I remember being grateful that no one else was in the hallway at that point because I knew if Lupin stayed too long, I’d lose it, and the moment he rounded the corner, I’d lose it. Either way, I was going to lose it and it was just a question of timing. Therefore, I was grateful no one else was there.” The boy paused for a second, studying his other self thoroughly. “I felt terrified, no doubt there. I felt vulnerable.” Then something seemed to dawn on him. “Ah! I was also right angry at Lupin, too!”

“So your fear was beginning to morph into hate.” Harry elaborated candidly.

“Hey!”

“It’s a perfectly natural reaction, Sev, to feelings that are forced to be bottled up in that manner.” Harry gestured behind him, but Sev knew he was talking about his previously-viewed bathroom exercises.    

Sev sighed and shrugged. “I guess.”

“Right. So…anger, fear, vulnerability…you felt extremely defensive. Anything else?” Sev shook his head. “Good. So those were your feelings. Now walk with me over to Remus, if you will.” Harry placed his hand on Sev’s back once again and steered him towards the frozen teenage Remus. “This is a focusing exercise, Severus. I want you to focus on his posture, his shoulders, his hands, his face, his eyes, my boy. The eyes are the windows to one’s soul. I want you to tell me what you see in his.” Harry made sure to stop them where Remus’ face was extremely visible. He nudged the little boy slightly until Sev reluctantly began examining the other teen in the same manner he had examined himself.

Sev noted the posture, the hunched shoulders, the fingers wringing the wrists, the depressing frown, the wrinkles on his forehead, and the bags under his eyes. “I can’t see into his eyes, Harry.” Sev told the other teen.

“Up you go.” Harry lifted him into his arms and made sure to stand right next to Remus. “Now tell me what you see.”

Sev sighed and peered into the blue eyes. “I see…” What? What did he see? What could he possibly see in the eyes of a human mon…ster…? His thoughts trailed off as he stared into Remus’ blue orbs. Those eyes…they looked familiar. Too familiar. Terribly familiar. Severus was too well-acquainted with the altogether different monster that lurked behind those eyes to be able to ignore seeing it in one of his most-hated rivals. “He’s lonely.” Sev answered, the words sounding forced. “He…looks depressed…shy…nervous…guilty…” The little boy gulped. “He looks like…the world’s against him…” Sev couldn’t take that look anymore. He turned his head into Harry’s shoulder and buried his face into his robes.

“Yes, he does, doesn’t he?” He heard Harry murmur before they began moving again. “Precisely like the world is against him.” A hand soon began rubbing smooth circles into his back. “An altogether different picture than the one you had painted not moments before, am I right?” Sev shifted uncomfortably and his arms tightened around the teenager’s neck. “Funny how our world can change so dramatically with just the slightest bit of focus.” Harry drawled, his voice soothing the child’s nerves. “Come along, cub. I have something to show you.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes until Severus found the courage to unbury his head from Harry’s robes. “Where are we going?”

“I’m going to show you images from my experiences with Remus.” Harry explained. “I’m going to try to…paint you a magical picture rather than a muggle one, so to speak. This way, you’ll have a whole and complete view of the man rather than just the monster in disguise.” He pushed open the door to one of the classrooms and walked in.

The room then morphed before their eyes as Severus watched flashes of Harry’s life experiences with Remus. He watched as Lupin saved Harry from a Dementor on the train. He watched as Remus tried and succeeded in teaching Harry the Patronus charm. He watched as the two of them just walked and talked around the castle and in the woods. He watched as they joked and laughed with each other over the years. He watched as Harry came to Remus for advice and received it, along with a hefty dose of support. He watched as Harry cried on Remus’ shoulder and vice versa. He watched as Harry and Remus stood back-to-back in battle, fighting off Death Eaters. He watched as Remus and Harry had a row over Tonks and parental responsibilities. He watched as Remus burst in through a door, a goofy smile on his face, declaring that ‘it was a boy’ in the loudest voice possible. He watched as Remus named Harry godfather to his son. He watched as Harry watched Remus sleep, with his son tucked under one arm and his wife tucked under the other. The goofy smile was still stuck on his face.

“Now does this look like the life of a monster?” Harry murmured in his ear. Sev was silent for a long while. Then, slowly, he began shaking his head. “No. Didn’t think so.”

The two of them exited the bedroom and found themselves in the middle of Diagon Alley as the door swung closed. Sev realized whatever Harry was showing him now must’ve taken place just earlier today. They were walking next to Remus and a disguised Harry, Sev’s five-month-old form wrapped in his arms. “I’ve got your back, Harry, you know that right? And now I’ve got his back, too.” Remus said, clasping Harry’s shoulder supportively and gesturing towards Sev. Harry merely nodded. “Whatever happens…”

Whatever happens…

I’ve got your back…

Remus’ voice grew distant as a white haze overtook Sev’s senses and the next thing he knew…

Severus’ eyes fluttered open.

“Easy, there, cub.” He heard Harry’s soothing voice over him, “Our eyes have been closed for at least ten minutes, most likely more. Let your eyes get used to the light again.”

Sev found that rather easy, considering Harry was still holding a hand over his head and eyes. He waited patiently for Harry to remove it, shifting to find a more comfortable position in his sling in the meantime.

Finally, Harry lifted his hand. “So…are we feeling a bit better about Remus now?”

Sev sighed. Loathed as he was to admit it, he felt a great deal better about Lupin now that he had some of Harry’s memories inside of him. The thought of the werewolf no longer begot jitters and nervousness, but rather a slight bit of comfort. Funny thing, his mind. He’d carried his thoughts and opinions about Lupin around for years, adamant that they would never change. Then Potter comes along and turns them around completely in the space of five minutes.

He signed ‘yes’.

Harry beamed. “Good. I’m glad.” He stood up and picked up his chair. “Come along, then. The others over there look a bit anxious, and I do believe my godson has expressed an interest in meeting you.” Sev pulled against the sides of his sling in an effort to sit up and Harry obliged him. The infant then shifted to examine the crowd around him.

“Sev, are you alright now?” Ginny questioned worriedly. Sev smiled at her, signing ‘yes’. “Are you sure?” He signed ‘yes’ again. Ginny glanced up at Harry who nodded to her a smirk. “Oh, thank Merlin!” She rushed over to the baby and kissed him on top of the head. “You had me worried there. I thought you were sick, or something was wrong, that maybe the ice cream was poisoned—”

“Ginny, Ginny!” Harry laid his hands on her shoulders to try to calm her. “Calm down, love, he’s fine.” He said soothingly. “He just had a bit of a reaction to Remus,” he glanced over at the guilty-looking werewolf, “but he’s absolutely fine now.”

“Harry, if he doesn’t want me here, I can—”

“With all due respect, Remus John Lupin, don’t you finish that sentence.” Harry interrupted, giving Remus an intense look. Lupin’s mouth snapped shut and he looked a bit hesitant, like he didn’t know what to do with himself. “I want you here. Ginny wants you here. And…” he glanced down at the infant in his sling. Sev was studying Remus with an air of curiosity. “…Severus…”

The baby sat back in his sling and tipped his head back against Harry’s chest to look up at him. “Uh-huh!”

“Severus wants you here as well.” Harry finished confidently. “I went into his mind a while ago and he and I had a long and thorough heart-to-heart about various subjects.” He explained with nonchalantly. “You, me, present, past, this, that, and the other thing. It’s not important. What is important, though, is that Severus here…” the baby was once again examining Remus inquisitively, “…is now willing to get to know you.”

“Haweh!”

“Yes, sir?” Harry turned his attention to his infant.

Sev pointed at Teddy, who was mirroring Severus’ perched position in Remus’ sling. “Behby…Ooo.” He pointed at Harry. Then he pointed at Remus himself. “Moomy…Up!”

Harry’s eyebrows rose to his hairline and he blinked at the child in his arms. Sev giggled slightly at his funny expression. “Are you serious?”

“Uh-huh!”

“Are you sure?”

“Uh-huh!” Sev answered before pointing to his own little chest. He first made the ‘scared’ sign before attempting to speak again, “B…Bah!...Boh!...Bop…” He pointed to the spot directly over his heart and started patting it lightly. “BuhBuh…BuhBuh…BuhBuh…BuhBuh…” He looked directly at Harry. “Woooooooooooaaaaaaaaw!” Then he thought for a second before inspiration seemed to hit him. “Cub!” He beamed at Harry and pointed to his little chest. “Cub! Wooooaaaaw! Cub!” He pointed at Remus once again. “Moomy. Up!”

Harry chuckled lightly, laying a hand on Severus’ soft head in silent support and agreement.

“Harry…what did that mean?” Ginny asked beside him.

Harry leaned in to whisper in her ear. “In my chest beats the heart of a lion.” Severus grinned from his sling as Harry pulled away. “Isn’t that right, cub?” He asked out loud.

“Uh-huh!”

“And it also means…” Harry lifted Severus from his perch and, holding him in his arms, approached Remus. “No, no, no! Don’t back away, Remus. Trust me. Just…stay still.” As Harry slowly breached Remus’ personal space, he felt Sev’s little hand tighten on his robes, but otherwise the child didn’t react. “Easy, Sev, alright? Slowly.” He turned to the werewolf. “Remus…somebody’s willing to let you hold him. You might want to sit down.” Lupin did so almost immediately, dropping into the chair he felt behind his knees.

“Harry, maybe you should sit down, too. Right there—next to Remus.” Ginny suggested and Tonks placed a seat next to her husband then took the seat next to Ginny.

Harry perched on the edge of the offered chair. “Easy, Sev. Go at your pace. No one’s forcing you to do this.”

Sev gave him a funny look. “Bw…Bw…Bwa…ma…Bwa-ma…Bing!”

Harry rolled his eyes and scooted back into his chair. He turned from the snickering ladies with a sigh and addressed a confused Remus. “He just called me a drama king.” Tonks and Ginny burst into a fit of laughter and Remus smirked at him. “Oh, ha, ha! It’s not that funny.” Harry stuck out his tongue at Ginny. Sev giggled in Harry’s arms. “Of course you would find this funny.” The baby giggled some more. Harry rolled his eyes.

It was after the excitement died down a few minutes later that Severus found the courage to reach over and tap Remus on the arm. Lupin looked startled and uncertain.

Severus decided to take control of the situation. “Up!” He cried loudly, reaching his arms out to Remus.

“Sev,” Harry started in a warning tone, “Was that a request or a demand?”

Sev took one glance at his stern face and changed his tune, “Up, pea?” He said in a gentler tone.

Remus relaxed a bit and gave Sev a gentle smile. After exchanging a glance with Harry, he shifted a little in his chair and reached over. Harry deposited Sev onto his lap and held on until Remus had an arm wrapped firmly around his kid. Then he let go.

For about a minute or two, both Sev and Remus just sat there, tense and frozen. Remus stared at Severus and Severus stared at Remus. Neither of them moved. Neither of them even breathed!

Then, out of nowhere, came a childish, “Coo!” followed closely by a giggle.

Everyone turned to face Teddy, wide-eyed.

“That was his first smile!” Tonks exclaimed, her hair flaring hot pink in excitement, “And his first laugh! AND his first sound!”

“What do you mean? He’s never made a sound before?” Ginny broke in, confused.

“No, no. He’s cried before and everything, but that’s all he’s done. He’s never actually made any other attempts at communication beyond crying. Oh my god, Remus!” She beamed at her husband.

Remus kept staring from one child to the other in barely-contained exhilaration. His gaze moved from Severus in his left, who was now eyeing Teddy with an avid curiosity, to Teddy in his right, who was smiling at Severus and waving his hands about enthusiastically. Sev turned to Harry questioningly.

“Remus, maybe you should introduce them.” Harry suggested.

“Oh. Right!” Remus cleared his throat, “Severus, this is my son Teddy. Teddy, this is…Sev—erus.” He stuttered a bit at the end, not sure if Severus would allow him to call him ‘Sev’.

Severus didn’t seem to notice either way as he continued to study the smiling metamorphamagus. Then, for some reason unknown to him, he smiled back.

Teddy giggled at him.

Severus giggled back.

Teddy cooed and laughed at him.

“Ah! Babeh!” He turned to Harry, pointing at Teddy excitedly, before facing the baby once more and laughing in return.

Thus, the two infants continued to laugh and babble at each other incessantly, while Remus held onto both with barely-restrained enthusiasm, Harry looked on with pride, and the two ladies smiled and excitedly took pictures of the momentous occasion.