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Reviews For the Secret of Slytherin
Draco's behaviour... hmmm. Well, he could be trying to decide which side of the battle will benefit him the most (even if he still zealously and fanatically believes in Voldemort's manifesto). Or he could be still connected to Harry via the Imperius link and Harry's "goodness" could be affecting his behaviour. Or he's under orders and playing a completely separate game. The possibilities are infinite, I think. I believe I'll just move on to the next chapter and see what happens! Great job, as usual! Author's Response: :D Thank you! -K
Actually, I keep wondering what would have happened if the Hat had immolated itself Harry's first year. The possibilities in the way the personal relationahips would have worked out are mind-boggling. And Harry choosing to cast the Revealeo at the end... it was PERFECT! Author's Response: Oh, if only the Hat had done this in the first year. Things would have been very different. If you are an author yourself, I release that plot bunny into your care. Yes, there are things going on with Draco Malfoy that we know not what... -K
You did a great job of maintaining the tension in a realistic manner throughout this chapter. I also liked being able to get into Draco's head a little bit. I'm not willing to trust him further than I can throw him but if he can get Harry out of the Chamber, then I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for now. Bravo! Author's Response: Thank you! :D -K
I loved the interaction with Myrtle. And duh, do I feel silly. Having Myrtle help when Harry, Ron, and Lockheart went into the Chamber was so obvious but it never occurred to me. Well, perhaps that was because it didn't occur to Harry and in JKRs books we are experiencing things from Harry's POV for the most part. Nice cliffhanger. Literally, in this case! Bravo! Author's Response: It's weird how much you catch when you're doing a re-write. As the author you see things in a certain way; as an author of fanfiction, you can't help but notice the little gaps here and there. JKR didn't have Myrtle help because it wasn't in line with her plot: her help would have made things too easy for Harry & Co. Since Harry was trapped in this case, I could make better use of her because she could only help with info, moving the characters forward just the tiniest little bit.
-K
Author's Response: Thanks! :D -K
Hmmm. Harry noticing that he tended to mirror the behaviour of those he interacts with is quite interesting. It also probably goes back to his inhibited social development due to the way the Dursleys treated him. You know, I can see why the detachment from obscuring could be helpful under certain circumstances. It allows the individual to notice things about themselves that beneathe their motional responses. It's too bad that this good effect is countered by an exponentially greater number of bad effects, otherwise it could be a useful tool in personal problem solving. Oh, my. Something really bad just occurred to me as I was considering what obscura is doing to Harry and Severus' relief that he hadn't obscured his feelings for his mother. If he would obscure his feelings for Lily, would that destroy the protection of the blood wards? Would it take away the "power that [Voldemort] knows not"? Oh, dear. I know I might be wrong but this has just opened up some rather nasty possibilities as to how this whole thing started for Harry; beginning with Voldemort's possession of him at the Ministry after Sirius' death. Could he have gotten the technique from Voldemort then? Hmmmm. I think I'll ocnsider this more a I read the next chapter. Great job! Author's Response: Oh, this is SUCH a clever comment. I am going to take it as personal canon, though I didn't think of it myself. Rather, it's because of Snape's connection to Lily that he would never wish her to be Obscured. I may use this in the sequel. ;) Yes, I think Obscura could be useful in emergencies, or under very controlled conditions while trying to problem-solve. This is why Snape uses it when he is with Death Eaters, often; or perhaps that is because they are relatively emotionless bastards themselves, and it helps him fit in rather than, y'know, vomit during crucial moments. On the other hand, it may not be best for problem-solving. The logical solution is not always the most ethical, and I believe since Obscura cuts off one's connection to one's own emotions, it could probably make one far less ethical. We want to be able to make decisions that we can live with later. -K
Oh, is your Severus 8 to 10 years older than JKR's? If he wrote that paper in his 6th year then it would have been in the 1976-1977 school year. In any case, I think his ocnclusions are true. All Muggles having a bit of magic in them would explain why the ball flickered for Dudley. It makes sense to me that it wouldn't react for Vernon and Petunia because they have consciously smothered everything that could possibly be considered "not normal" out of their psyches and lives. Dudley hasn't quite done that yet. Bravo yet again. I'm on to the next chapter... Author's Response: Yeah, I really messed up the dates. For the sequel, I've got multiple timelines... this story made me discover I'm really bad at that sort of thing without lots of planning. ;)
-K
I expect that Ron will either figure it out or will eventually forgive Harry after Hermione explains things. What's really sad is the truth of the statement. It's possible that Ron and Harry would have become friends as they would be roommates even if they hadn't met on the train. Given that Harry didn't want to be in Slytherin if Draco was after meeting the other boy at Madame Malkin's its most likely that he would have ended up in Gryffindor anyway. Hermione is another matter since he consciously decided that it was most likely that Harry would be in Gryffindor as his parents were and had forced to Hat to mis-Sort her before Harry was Sorted. Still, even though the words were absolutely true, we normally don't tell our friends the truth because we love them and don't want to hurt them. We may be suspicious of their motivations sometimes, but we put it aside because the relationship is bigger and more important thn the detils of how it started. All of us hide these kind of feelings. They are legitimate but we give up the right to say anything about them in order to stay connected to those we love. Its like the reason why its so hard to tell a family member or friend who is self-destructing with drugs or alcohol or some other issue that you can't enable them anymore. Incredibly well-written and emotionally racking, this is one of your best chapters yet. Bravo! Author's Response: I'm so glad it worked for you. :) Yeah, as I was writing, I kind of wondered why canon!Harry never went into this frame of mind. He's certainly angsty enough. I believe the answer is Professor Snape. All throughout Harry's childhood (age eleven on, anyway) he kept calling Harry 'our little celebrity' and going on and on about fame. This is awfully sneaky and doublethinky, but maybe Snape did that on purpose, to allow Harry to show everyone that he didn't really care about that, and so that Harry would stubbornly tell himself that he did not get where he was by using his name... Maybe that's giving canon!Snape too much credit, but it sounds like the clever sort of thing he'd do. -K
You know, I think Harry is being more truthful with Draco than he has been with almost everyone else. But that makes sense. He doesn't want to say anything that would chase Ron and Hermione away on the off-chance (to his mind) that they were his friends because he is "just Harry" rather than being "The-Boy-Who-Lived". Very sneaky of Draco that business with the cloak. Als, I can see him flirting (agressively or awkwardly) with Hermione. It's sort of the mirror of the good girl being attracted by the bad boy, isn't it? Excellent work again! Bravo! Author's Response: Harry is totally being more truthful with Draco, and for just the reasons you describe. He doesn't believe it really matters what Draco thinks of him, so Draco's presence gives him carte blanche to say whatever he would like, to unload any truth he wants. That's kind of attractive, I think, to someone like Harry, who is typically very closed-off. -K
Rae is such a darling girl and I think it did Harry a lot of good to be able to be a "big brother" to her. I really liked it that he passed on Professor Snape's advice about letting her emotions out (now if he will only take that advice himself!). And the additional advice not to cry alone was good, too. I like Yolande. She seems like a very intelligent and level-headed girl. I especially liked her promise to make sure that Harry gets his cloak back from Draco. Speaking of Draco, I am wondering where he is. I have a feling that his Head of House will be having some words with him for missing class. Great job (as usual)! Bravo! Author's Response: Yay! More comments on the OCs! Thank you. :)
-K |
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