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Reviews For the Secret of Slytherin
I just wanted to say thank you for the story so far and alas, this is where we part ways as they say. I enjoyed the chapters written so far, and some of the ideas/concepts you had introduced were new and thusly very interesting and a pleasure to read. Although I had my qualms with some things added, like Harry being the supplement teacher, over all it was very well written and interesting in it’s newness. I am parting ways with the story simply because you have lost me twice now in the stories believability and that’s it I am afraid. First of all, to me there is nothing more important than a story that sounds real, believable, and that concerning not canon but human nature. The first event was when Harry gave up his father’s cloak, the second this Hermione/Ron incident – both are so far away from something that would fit human psychology and real events that they simply ruin the story. And by real events I mean events that come from human reactions and actions which have nothing to do with the genre of the story being written – human nature and psychology are what they are. It would not have been such a stretch if Harry was asked to give up his cloak by let’s say Dumbledore as a punishment, or Minerva but in the setting that you made here, to give it up to Draco Malfoy during this punishment (which is also on the very edge of believability but can be somewhat justified) is a complete overkill. I can think of dozens of reasons why he would never do that but the most important one of course is that it is his dead father’s cloak, the father who was killed by Voldemort and DE’s, and to give it to a son of a known DE? Never. Also the argument with Ron and Hermy is in the same category of – will never happen for that reason. They faced death together and while friends can part ways some things will always keep them tied till they die, so this again is anything but believable or in my mind a plot moving event which is not good. To use Azkaban or the threat of it as an excuse of why he did it is also not believable, you yourself provided a reason why in the earlier chapters. Adding drama to a story with believable events is important because otherwise the story looses. Amway, best of luck with this and all other stories. Just because I do not like it doesn’t mean others won’t enjoy it very much. And thanks for the part written thus far, it was enjoyable really. Author's Response: Hmm. Well, let's just say, Ash, that you're not the first who believed Harry would never give up the Cloak willingly. However, despite your assumption, his giving up the Cloak has little to do with Azkaban. Draco threatens Harry with Azkaban because that is what would move him, if someone were threatening HIM. Keep in mind that the characters as I've drawn them can be stupid or narrow-minded, and Draco doesn't understand Harry very well; he certainly doesn't understand the reasons behind Harry's actions. In short, just because Draco mentioned Azkaban doesn’t mean that Harry was moved by said threat. I think you are upset by the way I’m beating Harry about. “The moving of the characters has nothing to do with human nature?” I think you probably meant that you didn’t like or appreciate what I was making the characters do to one another. Without conflict, there’s no plot. Without conflict between the good guys, there’s no interesting plot. As far as Harry fighting Hermione and Ron, tell me you’ve never had a knock-down, drag-out fight with your best friends, and I’ll call you a liar. Harry has pent-up resentment around his relationship with both of them, and this unique situation allowed him the fight he needed without feeling guilty. Isn’t he lucky – able to say all of these things, and he isn’t even to blame? “...it is his dead father’s cloak, the father who was killed by Voldemort and DE’s, and to give it to a son of a known DE? Never.” Once again, that is your opinion. It’s an item, after all. A piece of clothing. It’s not even something his father gave him. It doesn’t represent his father’s love. It’s mostly useful. “They faced death together and while friends can part ways some things will always keep them tied till they die.” You can be very close to people and drift away from them, or fight with them and never see them again; sad, but true. There doesn’t even have to be a good, solid reason. You must be very young or very blessed if you’ve never broken with anyone you loved. Of course, I never said that the Trio would break apart, did I? This is another assumption on your part. You’re looking on the surface of the story and speaking from a place of anger and hurt at what’s happening to Harry. Do you identify with him in some way? Don’t worry, he’ll be happier in future chapters. Of course I wouldn’t break up the Trio. Of course there’s another reason (several) that Harry gave up the Cloak. Have a little faith, my friend... ...but I think it’s too late for that. Oh, well. Have a little faith, everyone but Ash! -K
I like your writing style and the story itself. I am impatient to see if the story is going to go beyond the Draco/Harry situation soon or not but I'm still enjoyin every minute of it. As far as Draco torturing Harry, from Draco's perspective, I think he is really doing a good job teaching Harry a lesson. He may not have done anything to Draco when he had him under the Imperius, but the punishment is supposed to reflect the severity of the curse. I personally think that curses are only dark if you use them darkly, but even so, the point is that Harry realize how bad it can be to cast imperius and since in your story it has those side affects, my idea doesn't count and the very act of casting it is dark, therefore, he should be punished. And you came up with some pretty clever ways for Draco to do so. Thanks!More Snape please!
I like your writing style and the story itself. I am impatient to see if the story is going to go beyond the Draco/Harry situation soon or not but I'm still enjoyin every minute of it. As far as Draco torturing Harry, from Draco's perspective, I think he is really doing a good job teaching Harry a lesson. He may not have done anything to Draco when he had him under the Imperius, but the punishment is supposed to reflect the severity of the curse. I personally think that curses are only dark if you use them darkly, but even so, the point is that Harry realize how bad it can be to cast imperius and since in your story it has those side affects, my idea doesn't count and the very act of casting it is dark, therefore, he should be punished. And you came up with some pretty clever ways for Draco to do so. Thanks!More SnapeAuthor's Response: ..."from Draco's perspective, I think he is really doing a good job teaching Harry a lesson." Congratulations on being the only person, on fanfic-dot-net or othewise, to really pin it down. That's just how Draco sees it. "The punishment is supposed to reflect the severity of the curse." Yup. Right on, again. A lot of reviewers feel bad for Harry on that count, but this really is the punishment fitting the crime. (I anticipate the hate mail now, but...) The very act of casting Imperius is dark, as you say. For more reasons than you listed. Mostly I'm writing that you seem to have gotten the basic idea of a lot of what's going on here, far before most people seem to do. So good on you!
-K
Author's Response: Thanks for your reviews, Shela! More chapters coming soon! -K
Author's Response: Oooh, a bookstore job... I know where your paycheck is going! (Or at least, where mine would...) Insightful Ron just pops his head up once in awhile. You'll see him again. :) -K
Author's Response: Things will be bad for a bit, but then they will get better. I'm too soft-hearted to let my characters suffer for long... -K
No wonder you have such a well plotted story! You're channeling for the characters! (laughs). Now who is the Dark Lord subtly controlling??? I think Ron has such a poor reputation because of the times he has turned on Harry, or just seemed like an inconsiderate slob---a normal teenage boy! As for my 'teacher' comments, thanks for not noticing that I had a typo in my review! I seldom miss typo's while typing. I must have been really excited about what I had read. I also don't tend to reread reviews, but I haven't copied this story to my ongoing story log so I had to see what chapter I'd left off at. That was quite funny, finding out you are also a teacher!!! What is this, stress reduction? Author's Response: ...Harriverse... I did notice the typo. I just ignored it. It went against every teacher instinct I had, but I held myself back with great difficulty, lol. I definitely channel the characters. Each character is like an aspect of myself; in order to write a good character you have to be able to empathize (but not necessarily sympathize) with them, in my opinion. This is total stress reduction. Honestly, if I don't write for a certain period of time, I get anxious and irritable. I'm totally addicted to writing fiction, and the fan sort is just about what I've time for right now. Thanks for reading and reviewing! -K
lol... Poor Malfoy. Actually, I do like Malfoy,or otherwise known as Draco in my books. :) This is agreat punishment and I like the idea of Harry casting an Unforgiveable (maybe because I like Dark!Harry, as well). I surprised Hermione and Ron (especially Hermione) haven't figured out that Harry is one of those Slytherins in Gryffindor. Well, I can't wait to see where you take Harry and Draco next! Update soon! Author's Response: I think that Ron and Hermione would believe that if Harry were, he would have told them. The three of them are pretty close. Don't worry, I like Draco, too. I just also dislike him. ;) -K
lol... That is just like the IC Snape, doesn't it? Anyways, great writing and I'm off to the next chapter... |
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