Wow! This is quite powerful stuff the kind of thing in nightmares or written about in books but there are some VERY cruel people in this world and you have captured these characters well in your writing. The only thing I feel the need to point out is one typo.
If you behave like a dog, you'll be treated as one. Should've know you were fit for living indoors with decent folk.
The second sentence should read
Should've known you weren't fit for living indorrs with decent folk.
The way you have it now is a little confusing but its a great story! Write on!!!
| Title: Chapter 27
| 08 Feb 2011 4:44 pm
|
| Reviewer: Shhhh (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
What a totally wonderful story - thanks so much! I can't wait to get started reading the sequel. I love the way you've humanized Snape, and I fell in love with Harry all over again. I hope Draco continues to be sweet! Totally brillant!
| Title: Chapter 26
| 07 Jan 2011 4:02 pm
|
| Reviewer: moccanica (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
hey :) i really like this story and i'm going to read the sequel right away :) you are very talented and it was a pleasure to read your story ;) there weren't too many mistakes:) hugs
I'm such a goof, I tried to breathe in and out as I was reading it without realizing it and when I realized I was, I found I was backwards with my own reading! Talk about feeling silly!
I'm hoping somewhere you explain what exactly happened in the tub. My mind is envisioning all sorts of things.
Of course you count the house elf, she'll get in trouble too, I 'spect. Poor Nelli
"D'you want to meet a giant?" Who wouldn't want to meet one as nice a Hagrid?
Oh, that was wonderful with Hagrid and Fang! You do great with showing emotion. Snape was spot on, I think, after the nightmare and swearing never to drink and crying. I could picture it, even if that's an emotion not used for our older hero.
|