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Reviews For The Poor of God
Anyway, just when I think you can't possibly twist the emotional knife any further, you go and have Harry give *that* apology. My god. The horrible sadness of it -- the way Harry is so matter of fact about not deserving Snape's "regard". ::sob:: I'm a big fan of the shrinking shoes scene, having written something similar myself. I always figured Harry to be the kind of child (for he still is) that would react hugely to simple acts of kindness. A blanket draped over him as he sleeps, pain medicine, his favourite tea, and yes, shoes that fit. I'm so very glad that Harry's comment in the last chapter didn't leave us with an angry, defensive potions master. Now, for my favourite lines: "n fact, the thought of losing it makes him feel desperate and lonely, like he's four years old again and crying in his cupboard at night because Aunt Petunia won't hold him anymore. Not that a thousand Cruciatus Curses could pull that information out of him in Snape's hearing, but Harry can't deny it to himself." It's good that he can acknowledge it. Hopefully in the future he'll be able to act on it and get what he needs. "because Harry knows, believes, deep in his heart, that even if Vernon Dursley were to charge through the door of the parlor at this very moment, Snape would drop him before he had the chance to so much as shout at him." Just the awesome wording of Snape "dropping" anyone. Such a badass. That's why we love him. And there's more than a little awe from Harry in this. Like Snape is now a super hero in his mind. Aw. "Damn whiskey, and the Dark Lord, and heartbreakingly vulnerable children who had the indecency to be born with their mother's eyes..." Indeed. And of course the whole apology. It was shattering. Can't wait for more. Author's Response: I don't know about super hero, but watching Snape hold Vernon at wandpoint has definitely rearranged Harry's views of who the most powerful threat in his universe is. :-)
To see Snape comforting Harry in the corridor brought tears to my eyes. It was that beautiful. I was so glad that Snape was able to go to Harry, and that Harry allowed Snape to hold him and offer that comfort. I could read that part a hundred times and I still think I'd just as moved every time. I liked how Dumbledore asked Harry's permission before healing him. Harry has been through so much, and most of it out of his control, that I think it's important to let Harry start having some control back. Another good part was Dumbledore's line about how Snape trusted his (Dumbledore's) self-control more than Dumbledore himself did. Dumbledore has his flaws, but he is well aware of them and tries to overcome them. His burden is a heavy one, perhaps even heavier than Harry's because he carries the responsibility for so many other people's lives. When Snape touched Harry's mind and saw Harry's image of himself, well, that was just heart-breaking, although not surprising. Harry has spent too many years with abusive people, and I don't think many people have really specifically tried to tell him that he is a wonderful person deserving of love and respect. To be fair, I think, many of the people who care for Harry have not realized how damaged he is. And then thankfully, Madame Pomfrey was on hand to lighten things with some of her sharp comments. I had to grin at her lines. She's one person who is definitely not intimidated by Snape, I suppose because she knew him as a boy. And the final scene with Harry and Snape was so real, so painful. I hurt for both of them. Of course Harry's reaction is understandable. Snape has spent five years making Harry into an enemy. Now it won't be easy to undo, but Harry is so forgiving that I think once he trusts that Snape really does care for him, he'll return it a hundredfold. I can't wait for the next chapter! Author's Response: I'm glad you noted that, about Dumbledore asking permission---that is his way indeed, to see that need in Harry. He is exquisitely sensitive. And no, the damage is definitely coming as a surprise to all concerned. Madam Pomfrey will always have a cutting remark for Snape. He never sees her without a moment of wondering whether it was a wise idea to work with people who've known him since he was a child. :)
This chapter seems to solidify Severus' caring feelings for Harry, and while I would never have actively encouraged him to use it, the legimency (I have no idea if I've spelt that properly) has helped him understand Harry. Now we have to see what he's going to do with that knowledge. As for the writing, you've got some wonderful tiny hints of the emotions etc. for your two main characters. Things like Harry looking to Snape for confirmation before going off with McGonagall. Snape looking straight at Harry when he says "I never intended otherwise". And now for the end. Oh that hurt. While I understand completely where Harry's coming from, he was so thoughtless with his words. He's trying to protect himself, yes, but wow! I truly hope that Snape recognizes this and also sees what Harry is trying to do. I hope that he doesn't allow himself to be pushed away -- or worse to turn away himself. Wonderfully done. Author's Response: Snape's not about to be pushed away. He's in way too deep over his head. That's mostly his trouble. :)
Harry feels so utterly broken this chapter as well; and I was glad Snape wouldn't let him shrink away from all the attention and caring Harry thinks he doesn't deserve. The slight Occlumency to find out what Harry was feeling was a nice touch as well. I have two lines in particular I want to point out for being especially awesome this chapter as well; when Poppy says Harry will have to go back with Snape, and Snape's reply of "I never intended otherwise." The second is also Snape's line. "What I want, Potter," Snape says, leaping to his feet, only just managing to control the volume of his voice, "is to know what sort of twisted emotional alchemy has so warped your brain that you dare not lift your hand against those who would harm you!" That entire scene was perfect really, you could feel Snape's slight confusion and anger that the Dursley's have trashed Harry's self-esteem so much he doesn't even try to protect himself; even at Hogwarts, where he can *use* magic. I held off on reading this until I'd finished my homework yesterday, as a treat to myself; and I have to say, what a treat it was. I eagerly await the next chapter. Author's Response: Calling Snape conflicted is like calling Iraq troubled. :-) Glad I could be there at the end of a long hard slog through homework.
A moment later he takes a step back, reeling. He feels breathless, tiny and trapped. He feels like a child so dirty and insignificant that he deserves nothing better than to be shut up in a cupboard and forgotten about. He blinks, in an effort to clear his vision. Harry is staring at him, panic in his eyes—only now, behind it, he can perceive the shadows of a cavernous longing. Oh goodness, I was somewhere between struggling for breath and about to burst into tears when I read this part! My heart ached for the poor child, and I was holding my breath for Snape's reaction. How do you manage to get me so involved in the story? *shakes head in wonder* I didn't think I could love this fic even more than I already do, but you proved me wrong with this chapter. Everything was just so perfectly executed - you had Snape's awkward attempts at reassurance down pat, as well as Harry's reaction! In fact, one of the highlights of this chapter was the way you portrayed Harry's confusion and conflicting feelings regarding Snape - one does not simply forget 5 years of torment, you know. (Snape's past deeds are really coming back to haunt him now, aren't they?) It's only natural that Harry, given the way he grew up and his history with Snape, would feel confused and distrustful. I've read many fics where Harry suddenly does a complete turnaround on his feelings towards Snape, which doesn't really seem realistic/in character. I'm so glad you've picked this up and worked it so well into the story. Not to mention it adds much more tension and definitely keeps the reader wanting to read more (my goodness, how could you end the chapter there??! Gaargh! But I suppose that's what makes it effective, I guess.)! Anyway, thank you for yet another brilliant chapter, and please please please update soon! Author's Response: Snape's past deeds are coming back to haunt him with a vengeance, yes indeed. But suffering is good for the soul, and I intend to make a slightly battered saint out of him in the end.
The beginning part of this chapter was amazing. It really helps to see things from both perspectives and I have to admit that I love seeing Snape's true perception of Harry. Even better is the battle he's having with his feelings for Harry. He is right on the verge of admitting that he really does care for the boy. I am wondering, though, just why Vernon Dursley was wandering the corridors alone? Whose bright idea was that? You would think he would be too freaked out by all of the obvious magical objects. Can you imagine him coming across a talking portrait or, better yet, Peeves? Too funny! Anyway, thanks for the update. Can't wait for the next. I really want to know how Snape is going to deal with Harry's comment. Author's Response: On Snape's behalf, I will tell you he is already mostly aware that Harry is important to him. It's just...expressing that importance. That's the part that's going to take work. Vernon was wandering the halls in the hopes of finding Dumbledore and demanding he send him back to Surrey. But then he saw Harry. And took advantage of the situation. Regrettable, but necessary
Powerful lines, even more powerful energy floating from the what ifs, the things left unsaid. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: I'm glad that you like Pomfrey. I'm working hard to make her more than part of the background scenery. She's in practically every abused Harry story ever, and never much more than a cipher---I wanted to make her a bit more than that. |
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