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Reviews For The Poor of God
Typos: You must be sleep-deprived, because several slipped past this time. ”Snape could favor her publically . . .”: is this a variant spelling? I think it should be ‘publicly; “ . . .too dry to form words with tripping.” I assume you meant ‘without’ here; “ . . . man should be expect to grapple . . .” should be ‘expected’; “. . .sets the books. . .” should be ‘book’; “Snape does miss the emphasis . . .” Oh, I bet he does *not*, either :); “. . . how is going . . .” missing the ‘he’; And, at the very end: “Harry's hands close in the folds of the black robes filling his vision on all sides like the walls of a dark cupboard, and does his best to obey.” Should be *he* does his best, because otherwise his hands become a singular entity capable of intent, which I don’t think is what you meant. Typo aside, though, this line gives me chills, honestly; it feels so . . . irrevocable, as if all the implications of the conversation between Snape and Dumbledore have been acknowledged and sealed beyond possibility of recall, and the echo of Luna’s cupboard from the previous chapter is perfect. Other favorite bits: “ . . .the image of two children, tangled in sleep upon his parlor sofa like nesting kittens, and he is again discomfited by the same unwelcome surge of emotion that the living tableau had produced.” Love this, the image, which is charming without being over the top, and Snape’s reaction, which is painfully typical. ‘Discomfited’ is such a very Snape word in this context. So very dry and precise and contained and deliberately understated. So very perfectly designed to minimize the ‘unwelcome’ possibility that he might feel deeply something beyond anger, or self-recrimination, or guilt. The section where Snape considers his feelings about Luna is nicely done, mostly because it’s so Snapian; he is such an analyzer of everything around him, and at the same time seems so intent on crushing any hint of emotional softness in himself, that it’s fascinating to see him turn the lens of his intelligence on his own feelings and acknowledge, even if only “in the privacy of his own thoughts” that she is important to him, and why. I think the pivotal line in this section is “Too, he sometimes finds that the trust in her bright eyes warms him in cold hours,” because really, who else does Snape know who trusts him wholeheartedly, without calculation or reserve, without any particular interest in how useful he can be to a cause? Don’t get me wrong; Dumbledore clearly trusts Snape (even if he didn’t repeatedly say so), and just as clearly thinks of him with affection, even love, but Dumbledore is *not* an innocent. He is well-meaning, and brilliant, and powerful, and knows all too well the stakes in the fight against Voldemort, and the necessity of using any weapon at hand, even at terrible cost. In some ways that makes his regard more . . . what? Grounded in reality, maybe? It does not, however, make it more valuable, or more compelling, especially, I would think, to someone like Snape, who has precious little of innocence in his life. It’s no wonder, then, that he finds her implicit trust that he will “do right by” Harry both heartening and burdensome. I love The Secret Garden. I reread that book at least once a year. A Little Princess, too, for that matter. Somehow, I find it not at all surprising that Snape would identify with Mary Lennox, and I think it’s marvelous how the theme of, what, redemption through acceptance? The possibility of healing, even in those who feel themselves too far gone to save? resonates in the space between that book and your story. Nicely allusive, without being obscure, because you include enough information about the story that even those unfamiliar with Burnett can track what’s going on. The conversation between Dumbledore and Snape is lovely, at least partly because it’s something I absolutely *craved* to see in the books. Theirs is such a complex, fraught relationship, with elements of mentor-student, father-son, general-soldier, and priest-penitent that it’s almost painful to watch the interaction, almost too much like invasion of privacy, which I suppose is silly, given that they are, after all, fictional characters moving through a fictional world. But it doesn’t *feel* silly, and they don’t *feel* fictional. I particularly like the way Dumbledore meets Snape’s opening gambit with a flat--though not unkind; for all his faults, Dumbledore, like Luna, is inherently kind--refusal. “I will not be the whip in your hand.” Perfectly phrased, like poetry, the condensation of an idea into the fewest possible, best chosen words. It is also remarkable to see how readily Dumbledore lays his own guilt and unhappiness about what has happened to Harry out for Snape to see. That, if nothing else, is a powerful illustration of the trust and respect the Headmaster has for him, and for this reader, who has sometimes had difficulty seeing past the fact of Dumbledore’s manipulativeness--because he is, however well-intentioned, a manipulator worthy of Slytherin House--to the essential loneliness of his position. In some ways, his is a more lonely road than Snape’s, precisely because he is less obviously embroiled in the immediate events of the war. He doesn’t have to walk the tightrope between light and darkness, knowing every moment how likely he is to fall. Instead, he has to send those he loves. It must be a very bitter drink. The entire section from “You might have given him to me,” Snape whispers” through “Snape thinks of his letters, carefully refolded and soft with much handling, tucked into the middle of the boy's book. "I know,” is so raw, so painful to read, that it’s hard for me analyze. But it also seems pivotal. The acknowledgement that love, however much risk it demands, however badly it seems likely to end, and however much pain is attendant on its loss, is *still worth having* is vital, especially for Snape, and his courage in making it is laudable. I’m just glad you had Harry walk in then and break the tension, and the relief was so intense that when he said, "Has it been three days already? I'd have thought I'd smell worse by now,” I just *howled* with laughter. Even now, I’m not sure if the line is really that funny, or if it was just reaction--relief at having broken out of the previous scene. The conversation with Harry, while less obviously fraught than the one with Dumbledore, is still important, and compelling, because it shows how much they both are struggling with the change in their relationship Though obviously, as we’re still in Snape’s POV his perceptions dominate, it’s still quite clear that Harry is uneasy, that he doesn’t quite know what to say, or how to relate to this man who has been--no avoiding it, I’m afraid--utterly brutal to him and now is . . . not. Paradigm shifts are hard, and it’s got to be frightening to feel the overthrow of everything you’ve thought and felt and assumed for years. It’s no wonder, really, that Snape falls back on old patterns of interaction, retreating into practicalities and brusqueness as he tries to escape, though given how quickly he follows after Harry, it’s pretty clear he doesn’t succeed for long. And poor Harry. How confused and alone he feels, and then to have the potion bottle break, too . . . Even with the understanding outlined above, it made me want to yank Snape back by his hair and shove him down into the chair, and tell him to bloody well sit there and keep the kid company for a few minutes. But it’s interesting how much this passage clarifies the similarities between Harry and Snape, attenuated by Harry’s relative youth and inexperience, and his more open nature, but unavoidably *there*. They show the same courage (bull-headed and Gryffindorish or not), and the same need for control, the same ruthless suppression of weakness, even when it would be beyond reason to expect only strength. I also was interested in how Harry’s picture of himself at the moment, “ like some stupid brat who can't see past the end of his own dripping nose,” is so very similar to something Snape would say. It just underlines, without belaboring--showing rather than telling--how very alike they are. And then the rest of the section is so perfectly Harry it makes me sad, because he automatically assumes that “Snape has probably already had as much of a miserable, needy Harry Potter as he can stand for a lifetime,” that he is somehow not worth the care he has been given, and that the only way to deal with the situation is to shove it away and make no more demands on the man, to “not be asking him for so much as a scrap of parchment for the remainder of his Hogwarts career.” But he can still ‘wonder’ (for which I optimistically read ‘hope’) if Snape will be willing to write to him again. I almost choked when Harry decided to go to the hospital wing. I mean really, seriously, heart seizing up, no breath for several seconds, stomach-clenching anxiety, because I *knew* something horrible was going to happen. And then when Dursley descended on him . . . oh, god. Avenging Angel Snape is . . . stunning, and *gorgeous*, and brilliantly evoked. I’m not sure what else to say, except that I particularly love the juxtaposition of Snape’s two expressions, as seen by Harry: absolute, killing rage and the undefined “look in his eyes that Harry has definitely never seen before—especially not directed at him.” This is the look, I suspect, of paradigm not just shifting, but cracking, collapsing, *exploding* into dust. And when Snape forgoes his deeply-desired revenge, the moment he drops Dursley in favor of going to Harry, and accepts, wordlessly, the burden of Harry’s need, and his love, in the middle of a corridor where they can be seen by anyone who might happen to walk by, when Harry gives himself over to the unknown and terrifying sensation of accepting comfort, that is the best, the most moving moment in the story so far. Sincerely, Annette P.S. While the in-character responses are lovely, just terribly entertaining (my Snape response kept me chuckling all day; “When the revolution comes, you will not be first against the wall. Third or fourth, maybe,” that's heartwarming, that is :-)), I can certainly see what you mean about not being able to address the writing through them, and I’m more than happy to have you write back in your own voice. And anyway, it’s not very kind to ask for a postscript from Snape, is it? I mean, writer’s cramp aside, he’s had an *awfully* trying couple of days. :)
Dear Harry, Kirby here! I just wanted to tell you I'm so proud of you for the softy you are making of Snape! Finding the letters in your book - aww. And mistaking him for your dad...now, that was a sniffly moment. (Btw, if Snape hasn't told you about any of this, you didn't hear it from me.) Please tell Branwyn how much I am loving this story. I hope you get well soon! Love, Kirby
If I start rambling about the last half of the chapter, I may never stop, so I'll start at the beginning for simplicity's sake. I love that Snape is fond of Luna; protecting her as well, because he knows what it's like to be bullied as a child. You keep Snape in character so well as he gradually comes to care about Harry and Luna, that this might as well be canon. I squealed more at this than canon, I think. But the last half? I think that just made this my favourite Harry Potter fic, out of the many out there. Harry's wondering about whether or not Vernon being there was a dream, him spilling the potion than being too afraid to ask Snape; those things were all nice and in character (as if anything in this fic has *ever* actually been OOC), but the confrontation between Vernon and Harry, later interrupted by Snape; was amazing. Snape's rage was depicted beautifully and I was with Harry- for a moment there, I thought he might have killed Vernon. I love that he appears as if he might kill Harry's Uncle only until he looks back at Harry. And the end; it was perfect in every way. Snape sitting beside Harry, his few minutes of quiet as he calms down. And of course (it goes without saying!), Snape comforting Harry as he cried. Just....amazing. I'm rating this story the highest I can, a 10, but it's so much more in my eyes. I don't know if there *IS* a number out there that high. Author's Response: You make my day, you know that? :-) I am really glad you regard everyone as being in character, and that the story worked for you so well. I'm also glad you picked up on the fact that it was looking back at Harry that stopped Snape killing Vernon. The next chapter opens with the same scene from Snape's POV, so you have a bit more of it to look forward to. :-)
Poor Harry.... Why did Dumbledore keep Vernon in the hospital wing, he didn't deserve it after what he had done to Harry in the past and now he almost killed Harry again...
I am literally dying for the next chapter. You should have seen my face this morning when I opened my email and saw that this story was updated...lol. Author's Response: Yes, sleep deprivation, really :-) Mostly during the last half, all the stuff from Harry's POV which is why there is a surfeit of em dashes---I abuse them at the best of times and all the more so when I'm feeling lazy.
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