|
|
Reviews For The Poor of God
I would have liked to see more of Snape's thoughts during the time Harry thought he was Cedric, but that is only a minor detail. I already mentioned working on the setting. This chapter is so focused on Harry's condition, however, that I think it would be distracting to have them there. Harry's dreams were very well done! They all seemed to fit what would really happen. I also think the part where Harry sees Voldemort behind Professor Snape was great to have. Chapters like this one can be extremely hard to do, so great job! Hopefully Harry will get a break soon. He really deserves one with all the bad things he goes through. Author's Response:
Dear Siofra: Thank you, I am glad I'm not the only one who thinks I need a break. I suggested it to Professor Snape and asked if he didn't think I would be too delicate for homework for a few weeks yet, but he just threw half a dissected caterpillar at me. Love, Harry
This is really it: ". . . but Snape is not Vernon Dursley. It will take time to convince the boy of this, but he means to succeed in the end." Snape on a mission is lovely to see, and god knows he's got the force of will to see it through to the bitter end. Annette (who promises she's done with little addenda reviews) Author's Response: Branwyn wants me to tell you she doesn't really mind, exactly. --Harry
Author's Response: I have no idea what you're talking about. In no way have I ever for so much as a single second mistaken Snape for my father. That would be completely and totally bent. And since I really don't want to know WHY Snape is smirking at me over the top of his book, I think I'm just going to run away now, thanks. Love, Harry
It's interesting, the exploration in this story and the previous one of what's in one's head and what's actually happening. I mean, in the first story, after discovering Harry's injuries, Snape admits that he saw other forms of abuse in Harry's mind during their occlumency lessons - like the cupboard and the hunger. Did he ever report those to Dumbledore? He knew how horrible those kinds of neglect were... was he able to distance himself from the reality of those abuses because he saw them only in Harry's head? (This is something that bothers me deeply about both Snape and also Dumbledore... not only their thoughts that these are somehow "lesser" forms of abuse than a beating, but also Snape failing to bring this up to Dumbledore when he did see them.) If Snape had seen bruises and beatings only in Harry's head, would he have reacted as he did to actually seeing them in person? Or would he have also managed to distance himself from that reality in Harry's head? I felt this chapter sort of echoes that. It's one thing to see the memory of a cupboard and intellectually figure out how horrible a form of neglect that is. It's quite another to have a boy in your quarters talk about the cupboard as if he'll be sent to it at any minute; it's there, it's unavoidable. For Snape, who's always wanted emotional aloofness and distance, this must be shattering, and maybe he's also feeling guilty about last year's occlumency - seeing these things but pretty much ignoring their implications, and continuing to think of Harry as a replica of James. Anyway, there were some lines here I really liked - "hands trembling with an anger so violent, so bitter, that it seems to possess a dim, destructive intelligence of its own." Wow. Great writing. And then that whole explanation of why Snape brought up asphodel in their first class together, expecting an 11 year old boy to pick up on that signal... it short of shows how lacking Snape is in the area of interpersonal relations. But it is lovely to see that, in the end of the chapter, he opens the door, talks to Luna, and refers to Harry as "Harry". Yay! That's progress. And now I'll get to see my three favorite characters together - Harry, Luna and Snape - all in close quarters. Looking forward to it... Author's Response: Actually, Snape doesn't know I know this, but over the summer I had a bit of a chat with Remus, and he says it was Snape who told Dumbledore about the Dursleys after my first Occlumency lesson, and Dumbledore passed it on to Remus and Mr Weasley and everyone. I wanted to tell Snape thanks for that, but every time I thank him for something lately he makes a face at me, so maybe I'll just try to make it up to him some other way. Love, Harry
I seriously can't wait for the next chapter. This is just so, so good. Keep it up! Author's Response: I'm sorry you had nightmares, they're really annoying, aren't they? Honestly, I'm just glad Branwyn didn't tell you lot about the part where for a second I looked at Snape and thought he was my mum. Love, Harry
Great chapter. Luffed it. Harry calling for his Mum was heartbreaking, as are Snape's reactions--he's going to have a hard time convincing any of your readers after this that he is not possessed of a heart or soul. Thanks for the continued wonderfulness of your story! Author's Response: I never said Snape didn't have a soul! Mind you, I might've implied he'd sell it for a bunch of chimaera scales, or some other fancy potions ingredient, but I didn't know him very well back then. ---Harry
And then, when Snape just holds him and gives Harry the physical touch he so desperately needs, I just about lost it. So sad, and yet I hope that Harry can maybe remember some of this when he is through the ordeal. And I most certainly didn't expect Luna to show up. Don't know why, as it makes total sense that the girl who sees Crumple Horned Snork Acks will have an easier time dealing with someone in an irrational dream state than Hermione and Ron would. Author's Response: WHY MUST EVERYONE REMIND ME THAT I CRIED ON SNAPE'S SHOULDER LIKE A TWO YEAR OLD. I AM NEVER GOING TO LIVE THIS DOWN. I AM GOING TO CRAWL INTO A HOLE AND DIE NOW. GIVE LUNA MY CHOCOLATE FROG CARDS. LOVE, HARRY
*incoherent* *flails* OMG! How is it that you manage to go beyond expectations everytime? I LOVE this chapter so much it hurts, and poor Harry! Oh, that poor thing! I screamed and flailed with joy when Snape finally held poor Harry - it was so very sweet, especially with the way you built everything up with each dream sequence. You say this chapter kicked your butt, but I think you did such an incredible job with it! I loved the progression of the dreams; and the way they happened were very realistic and believable, too! And things seem to be getting even more interesting now that Luna's here as well... Anyway, keep up with the wonderful writing, and I absolutely cannot wait to read the next part! Please update soon! Author's Response: Dear Chironstar: Erm, thanks! But I'm fine now, you know. Except for the part where apparently everyone knows about me blubbing like a three year old and Snape being the one who had to calm me down. Because that was, actually, really, sort of completely humiliating. And stuff. Excuse me, I have to hide now. Sincerely, Harry Potter
Wonderful, wonderful chapter. You have outdone yourself. There's angst abound, but in a quiet way, which makes it that much more devestating, really. Snape's role here is well played. He is trying to maintain himself while at the same time trying to help Harry. And despite the horror of what is happening in the room, he is still not far from his own prejudices -- his reluctance and frustration at having to play the part of Sirius Black, for example. Harry too, is note-perfect. People often have a problem with fics where Harry becomes particularly vulnerable, or child-like, even. And I can understand that. Harry in the books has always been portrayed as strong and untouched by his years with the Dursleys. Defiant and brave and never truly sad or fearful. At least not in the way I would think a child of his experiences would be. I don't expect him to be a quivering mass of neuroses, but I always thought the character seemed to old for his age. All that to say that it's nice that you have Snape feel the same way, and then he also goes on to make this distinction: "The dreaming Potter, however, far from being prematurely aged, seems never to have grown past eight or nine years or so, and it is disconcerting for Snape to watch Potter's usual insolence convert to quiet pleas and hopeless sobs." It's the perfect balance to Harry's typical personality, and makes sense that it would only show under moments of duress. Some other favourite bits: "He had known next to nothing about the boy's upbringing at the time—had fully expected him to recognize the oblique signal, that asphodel was a kind of lily. He had taken the boy's dumb incomprehension as a willful rebuff—and everything had fallen apart from there..." I like this nice little non-canon reason for how things went so sour between the two so quickly. I think I shall adopt it as my own personal canon if it's all right with you :) "Of all the horrors he had expected to come tumbling out of the boy's head, his own death at Voldemort's hands was never one of them. If he had expected to make an appearance in Potter's dreams at all, he would have thought to find himself a dark and menacing figure—never an object of concern or anxiety, never one of the many victims Potter could not save." While Harry fearing Snape's death was not a surprise to *me*, it was nice to see Snape finally realize that. "Potter rubs his eyes with the back of his hand. "I want my mum," he says, in a miserable whisper, so low as to be nearly inaudible. "I know," says Snape, hearing his voice crack slightly." Oh God. This part just broke me. Such a simple thing for Harry to say, but so heartwrenching. I would have like Harry to have a moment like that in the books. There was something kind of similar in Deathly Hallows, but nearly as emotionally devastating and rewarding as this. Kudos on a fine chapter. I expect we have more yet with the waking dreams? If I recall it lasts for a few days, but I could be wrong. Author's Response: Dear Lyra: Nice to know you don't think I'm a crybaby, anyway. :-) Oh man, did I really say I wanted my mum? I'm never going to be able to look at Snape again. Maybe I could drop Potions. I don't have to be an Auror. I could wash dishes at the Leaky Cauldron! Oh man...
I really love this line from the chapter: "The fact that Dursley has, with his predator's instinct, written to exploit the very weakness he had created, in direct defiance of Snape's warning, fills Snape with such rage that, were it not impossible to leave Potter by himself at the moment, he would undoubtedly succumb to the temptation to revisit the Dursley home in Surrey and do something quite Unforgivable." Yeah. I don't know what you call double entendres that don't have indecent connotations. Is it a pun? "A pun is the lowest form of bakery" (and there goes my brain XD). Also, I like how Lily plays a bit of a role in this chapter, what with the asphodel and Snape's realisation that Harry isn't a James-clone, and how he comforts Harry who is missing his mother. SO cute. Made me want to give them both big hugs, and maybe some chocolate (but not a lot, because I'm rather possessive of my chocolate XD) Oh yeah, and I didn't mean to insinuate anything last review with the whole bed thing. My brain stops working at around midnight and from then on it's like verbal diarrhea. Plus you made Snape's bed seem so comfy and warm XD. Then again, I know that Snape's just making fun of me - but it never hurts to explain! 8D I do hope that Snape's future career choice is more rewarding, by the way. And that he learns never to do ANYTHING for strange fangirls (especially if it involve a half-naked picture of Narcissa Malfoy XD Naughty naughty Snape!) Author's Response: Dear Sweartoad: Thanks for the chocolate! I don't think I want to know about the bed thing, but I'll give Snape the message. He's still sulking pretty hard and just sits in the corner rubbing his hands and muttering under his breath. Please don't tell me Snape has a thing for Draco's mum, my brain is still sore from the potion. Sincerely, Harry Potter |
|
Powered by eFiction 3.5 |