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Reviews For The Poor of God
Speaking of Snape, your characterization of our favorite Potions master is, in my opinion, flawless. I really like how you've given him some depth. The way Harry sees his shoulders slump, or when he sinks down onto the bench and resists the urge to cover his face are really great moments in the chapter. I also enjoyed his babbling to Hermione about the effects of the potion. Some of my favorite lines: "God forgive me, Lily, Snape thinks, when he opens his eyes a few seconds later and realizes whose limp form is draped over his chest and covered in scalding potion. I've finally done it. I've finally fucked the whole thing good and proper—I've killed him..." This was an excellent opening sentence. His panic and remorse are palpable, and I love that you had him address Lily. "The relief that blossoms over his teacher's face makes Harry feel rather warm inside; of course, he might be hemorrhaging." I seriously laughed out loud at this. Not just a little chuckle either. It was a guffaw if there ever was one. Luckily I was alone in the room at the time. "It's just his bloody luck, really." That about sums up Snape's life. Poor Severus. He was only trying to help. I can't wait for the next installment. While I hope it won't be too long, I don't want to rush you. Have fun writing it, and maybe meanwhile Professor Snape can say a few words? I don't care which kind of Snape it is. Just don't hurt my feelings, Professor, and I promise not to call you Snapey-kins. Author's Response:
Madam: I thank you for not referring to me by that or any other manner of pet name. Only one person has ever called me by a pet name and she did not live to tell the tale. Regards, S. Snape
Secondly, I didn't mean to seem ungrateful in my last review. You are amazing in how quickly you update and I am really thankful. My words were said out of desperation to know the outcome of that little incident in Potions class. Interesting idea of how the Wakeful Dreams potion will affect Harry. I think he is in for a really tough time. Can't wait to see if Snape will help or hinder him through these next few days. I'm hoping that Harry and Snape will bond even more over this. BTW, I prefer snarky!Snape and I would love to ask him a question...Boxers or briefs? Thanks for the update... Author's Response: Madam: I trust I have proven by now that whatever my manner may lead you to believe I can be trusted to see to the boy's best interests. As to your question, the answer is quite simply none of your business. Unless you are inclined to gather the information through empirical means. Regards, S. Snape
He denigrates courage (his own in particular, I’m sure, as well as everyone else’s in general (finds it, I expect, simply too Gryffindorish to be tolerated.) He ruthlessly suppresses his own impulses towards compassion or empathy, let alone kindness or sympathy. He treats his loyalty as though it were a matter of merest expedience, rather than being fundamental to his nature and (if I may be forgiven for saying so) damn near Hufflepuffian in its intensity. And all in the service of protecting himself from the very idea that anyone could possibly find him worthwhile. It’s sad. Not pitiable, because what’s pity but arrogance in fancy dress? But sad. One wishes . . . But anyway, as I was saying, I’ve no particular preference; surprise me. :) As for the chapter, the first line that I liked, well, better than all the lines, which are, as usual, elegant and precise and just a damn pleasure to read, is “. . .reminds him that he has a classroom full of students still on his hands, in addition to the one on his chest.” It’s just so nicely balanced, and clever, without being obtrusive. And next: “When he does not find a pulse immediately, panic steals the breath from his throat—his vision starts to grey—but then he feels the thrum of Harry's heartbeat against his fingers, faint and thready but palpable, and if Granger weren't standing there with his wand at last he would probably betray himself before all and sundry by sobbing his relief into the boy's hair,” I suppose because it is so very honest a moment, it so clearly shows the rawness and intensity Snape takes such pains to keep well under wraps. The phrase ‘betray himself’ is exactly right. The section that starts with Ron talking about Harry’s dreams and ends with Snape thinking about how Harry’s dreams are likely to be--and how he is likely to appear in them--is another standout, the first paragraph for the quite lovely way Ron rises above Snape’s expectations, and the second for the same barely contained anguish mentioned above. I think I’m becoming an angst junkie. I blame fan fiction. :) It’s heartbreaking when Harry wakes up, thinking he’s back at the Dursley’s and that his uncle must be nearby, and *apologizes*, for mercy’s sake, as if he’s ever done anything in his life to owe that miserable bastard an apology for. I love “try not to be dazed by the horror of the thing” immediately followed by Harry’s “’S a nice bed . . . soft and all that,” just for the juxtaposition of the voices. The section that begins "Is this going to be more about how my incompetence will get people killed?" Harry says, as coolly as he can” and ends with "Yes, I suppose I can see why you would be confused" is lovely, again because it’s such a gem of compressed emotion, of two people who are really much more alike than they let themselves imagine, trying to communicate something important and protect themselves at the same time. I love how Harry, in the conversation about what happened in class, is still able to hope, and brave enough to voice that hope, that Snape didn’t mean the vile things he said to him, and how Snape with characteristic brutal explicitness answers him. He could have just said, “No,” of course, but then, would Harry have been able to believe him? And the last two lines are lovely, they perfectly reflect just that likeness I was mentioning above, and there’s something very touching in the restrained simplicity of the acknowledgement. It’s a heartening note to end on, because I just know the next chapter is going to be, well, harrowing is probably too mild. And about Ginny-bashing, and whether Luna and Harry will sail away in a ‘ship’, I fully agree. Luna and Harry would most likely be more interesting than Ginny and Harry, but that’s because, well, Luna’s just more interesting than Ginny. Ginny is, I think, one of the least developed characters in the books, not really allowed to grow beyond her ‘spunky girlfriend’ stereotype, and it’s too bad, really, but then I suppose not everyone can be tortuously complex, can they? She’s actually rather like Draco, in that regard. He’s not given much play outside the ‘arrogant nemesis’ role, either, though his situation is inherently more fraught than Ginny’s. Draco’s a character I’d love to see your take on, actually, because there’s so much possibility there. I mean, imagine being the pureblood scion of someone like Lucius Malfoy. Imagine being 15 or 16 years old and knowing that your destiny is to hand yourself over, body and soul, to a monster. And imagine that you somehow still manage to retain enough free will to not want to do the first evil task your future master sets for you. I’d imagine that Lucius’s child-rearing techniques are likely to be more refined in expression but not substantially different in type from Vernon Dursley’s, and so it makes me wonder about Draco's ability to not do what he's told, even under *very* extreme duress. But again, I digress. Love the chapter, the story, the series. Hope you’re having as much fun writing as I am reading. Sincerely, Annette Author's Response: Madam: You have neglected a third category of participant in this farce, that of the unfortunate soul who is neither reader nor writer but the unwilling object of the author's attentions. I am afraid that 'fun' doesn't really enter into it, from my perspective. However, I find myself warmed by your gracious letter. When the revolution comes, you will not be first against the wall. Third or fourth, maybe. The harridan to whom I am temporarily indentured wishes me to inform that she has no conscious plans to chronicle Draco's exploits during the course of this story. Speaking as an old friend of his family, I can advise you that you are unlikely to be missing much, there, unless endless speculation about how unpleasant Azkaban must be for his father is your idea of high entertainment. Sincerely yours, Severus Snape
Hermione causing the explosion is hilarious. Who would have seen that coming? Ron's so himself as well. I can't help but like him here, even though generally I find Ron to be very annoying. His reaction was very well done. Poor, poor Harry. He's not going to have a good time in the next few days. I imagine not being able to wake up from one of his type of nightmares is about as bad a thing as can happen to him. I'm actually looking forward to feeling sorry for him when you tell us what he goes through. :-) Harry waking up had a lot of wonderful detail/imagery. I liked Snape's response to it, as well. I also really liked Harry trying to rationalize why he didn't "get" what Snape was trying to do in class. He does have a good point. Too bad no one thought of it when the plan was being developed. They could have seen it coming, but once again they both under AND over estimated Harry. Harry being the only one to brew the potion correctly was kid of odd... I'm not sure I completely bought that, but I guess it worked out. Must have surprised the heck out of Snape! I wonder if Harry works better when terrified or upset about something impending. In the books it seems like that's the only way to motivate him, too. I'm looking forward to the next part. snarky!Snape is my favorite, but suffering-idiots-because-I-have-to!Snape is good too. As an author myself, I know how lovely reviews are (even the one-liner ZOMG! type), so that's why I do my best to write them for the stories I enjoy. And I more than enjoy this one. :-) Author's Response: Madam: You are not alone in find Mr Weasley taxing to the nerves, but that, alas, is not actually an expelling offense. No one was more surprised by Mr Potter's competence as a potions brewer than, but I feel obligated to point out that Miss Granger also brewed a perfect potion, and while she gives me her word she did not assist him, he undoubtedly watched her quite closely. And as I observed to Miss Granger, his mother was quite skilled with a cauldron. And undoubtedly he is capable of wonders unlooked for when...properly motivated. Regards, S. Snape
For the first time in several reviews, I have finally decided to display my ability of using a reasonable modicum of grammar. Feel grateful, because I doubt anybody else would merit such an honor other than you, Sir. There also is the rather selfish influencing factor that I'm a bit terrified you might rip me apart and feed me to Hagrid's Beast-of-the-Day if I don't. Rational fear, no? Anyway, I am currently in the state of mindless procrastination from all things that I should be doing right now but am not. You make a rather welcome distraction, Professor, especially in enormous, mind-boggling chapters like this one. Loved it! You know, you do make a delightfully angsty little fellow, what with your endless sighing, trying to be polite (and failing dismally, though that makes it ten times better), and that eyebrow thing. I've tried it in the mirror dozens of times, but I think my eyebrows are forever doomed to live in harmony and on the same horizontal line. Bleh. Your response to Harry's ridiculous delusions that he made some sort of inconvenience was stunning, Sir. Full marks, and all that jazz, and possibly my favorite heart-wrenching, Harry-needs-a-hug moment of the day. Cheers, Grumpy PS: Irony fully intended in signature. I blame the nickname on a certain friend who insists on the existence of a certain "Lumpy the elephant," and the necessity of rhyming nicknames for any unfortunate soul she comes in contact with. PPS: I send my regards and a heaping serving of English Toasting Bread with Kerrygold butter to that oh-so delightful author who has an odd penchant to leave charmed pictures of topless Narcissa Malfoys lying around. PPPS: PS's are marvelous things. At the moment, I'm merely trying to annoy you with them, and I assure you, it is quite fun. You make for brilliant entertainment, Sir. PPPPS: By the way, you used one of my grade's vocabulary words...laggard. Said word brings up feelings of much misery, seeing as I endured a cassette reading of said vocabulary words in a monotone voice this morning, and it was definitely not fun. PPPPPS: Happy La Tomatina Day! Spanish thing! No, I'm not Spanish, but I learned about it today and found it absolutely brilliant. Go look it up! Go on! PPPPPP: At the moment, I'm trying to write one of the longest reviews your jailer has ever received. You may, perhaps, recognize these efforts as such? PPPPPPPS: ZOMG POST MORE PLZ!!!!111111111111 Author's Response: Madam: The name you claim for yourself is rather misleading. "Elocution" does not suit you quite so well as, for example, "verbosity". The ability to consistently put one word in front of another does not a skilled communicator make; you would seem to overwhlem by volume, rather than rhetoric. Still, the incorrigible creature who has made an amanuensis out of me seems to have derived some pleasure in your missive, and therefore, no doubt, you have achieved your purpose. Regards, S. Snape P.S. The delicate art of arching a single eyebrow is a skill learned over time with much practice. However, I believe genetics also plays a role; like Hapsburg lips and widow's peaks and detached earlobes, not everyone is capable of such a refined form of expression.
Author's Response: Dear Miss Ailin: Vengeance is like a potion---it must simmer for a set length of time, and only after one has gathered all the proper components and added them in the correct order and manner. Rest assured, Mr Dursley is not forgotten. Merely...simmering. Regards, S. Snape
I am really enjoying this fic. This chapter thankfully cleared up the previous cliffhanger, and it also nicely set up what I will only assume (read: hope) will be a harrowing next chapter. I particularly enjoyed the fact that Snape offered to take Harry in, and the nice little moment where he interrupted Poppy from moving him, specifically asking to do it himself. But my most favourite is Harry upon waking. I am a sucker for poor, abused Harry. Having him automatically be checking for Vernon and calling out an apology was a very nice touch. While I enjoy reading angsty abused!Harry fics, I prefer ones that actually show some emotional, psychological and physical impact of such abuse. I hope to see some of that in the next chapter, in Harry’s dreams, and I can’t wait to see how Snape reacts to said dreams. Hope the next chapter comes soon! Author's Response: Madam: Your penchant for observing myself and Mr Potter in moments of acute distress will no doubt be amply satisfied by the detailing of the events posted in the upcoming chapter. I am in a position to personally assure you that the appalling young woman who has made a bloody spectacle of my life has not spared the least consideration for my dignity. If that brings you pleasure, you are welcome to it. Regards, S. Snape
The potential for extraordinary catharsis makes me giddy~!~! Author's Response: Madam, may I suggest you reconsider your choice of simile---I doubt you would find the angstful precipice from which a true Death Eater would drop you quite as satisfying as the emotional one you seem to be anticipating with such relish. Furthermore, if you find the prospect of Potter in extremis so very appealing, do feel free to take over the job of tending him yourself. Regards, S. Snape
My two favourite lines in this chapter are: "he feels the thrum of Harry's heartbeat against his fingers, faint and thready but palpable, and if Granger weren't standing there with his wand at last he would probably betray himself before all and sundry by sobbing his relief into the boy's hair." and "you will cease flaunting your offensive assumption that I would prefer my own convenience to your dire need, and let me do my job—which, at the moment, is to preserve what I can of your health and sanity." They're so perfectly in character for Snape, while still conveying his concern for Harry. Hard to choose between the two Snapes...but snarky!Snape is my favourite, so I'll have to choose him. Author's Response: Madam: Thank you for your flattering assessment that I was "out of my mind with fear". I cannot tell you how this warms me. I am almost as pleased by this as the fact that you apparently seem to admire me most when I am overcome by annoyance with Gryffindor antics. Perhaps you were a Gryffindor yourself? It would seem likely. S. Snape |
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