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Reviews For Lily's Charm
Severus showed a lot of self-control by being able to walk away from Harry and not risk hurting him or letting him be exposed to his father's ( considerable ) temper. Not that I really blame Sev...a big part of his anger was directed at himself, for his past failings and was the outlet for the tremendous pain and guilt he has felt all those years. Still, it was a little scary to see him demolish his room like that (it also really reminded me of Harry in Dumbledore's office right after Sirius' death ). I didn't realise at first he had the Silencing Charms around his room, and I was afraid Harry would hear him and be afraid that all that rage was directed against him at first. Thank goodness that spell was there, though! I felt so sorry for Harry, too. He definitely inherited Sev's temper, but it burns out quickly in his case and leaves him feeling such terrible remorse and anxiety. I was so upset for him, when he was afraid he'd ruined things with his father. I hope their talk later on reassured him, and that Harry can finally begin to believe in his father's love, to trust that it isn't going to go away, no matter what. He really needs to believe that. My eyes filled with tears during that talk too. It was heartbreaking to see Harry's insecurity, and Severus' too at first, when he thought he'd frightened Harry away. But then it was wonderful how Severus was able to reassure Harry and comfort him, and hopefully help him to see that their relationship is permanent, that Harry doesn't have to earn his love or approval...he already has it, just for being himself. It was clever of Severus too, to draw the connection between Harry's expectations of him, with how he was treated by the Dursleys, and to know to explain to his son that it wasn't the case here. I really think Harry got off pretty easy with the 'punishment'. Yes, he doesn't get to visit with his friends in the evenings, but he'll see them in class and lunch. And he's not having to gut frogs or scrub cauldrons. He just gets to spend time with Dad, which they both need. And I loved Remus too, of course. I just laugh at how he's insinuating himself into Severus' life, and it was great how he could be there to reassure Severus that he was nothing like the Dursleys. Oh, the Remus and Ginny conversation was very good. It showed how much they know Harry and Severus and how much insight they have into the two guys' behavior and thinking. Can't wait for 41! Author's Response: Well, thank you. That is so nice of you to say. :o) I'm so happy that you enjoyed this chapter. It was a hard one to write...exhausting. Yes, Sev does have some amazing self control. And yes, it was very good that Harry couldn't hear that violence. He would have been scarred for sure. Brrrr. Yeah that is the difference between Harry's temper and Severus'. Harry's is much more short lived. LOL It sorta comes in a burst and then he's spent. I think that yes, their talk helped ease his mind and over the next few days as he is still unsure but Sev will just continue to show him that he is there for him and I think he will be all right. They both have so many insecurities and yet they both are so good for each other. It is really hard to work around those darn Dursleys! Poor Sev, having to prove that he isn't like them. Poor Harry having to have unconditional love proved to him. *sigh* I think the punishment was pretty easy as well. Especially compared to what Ron and Neville will have to do, but this is what Harry needs right now and really it's the first time he's had to face any sort of punishment from Severus as father and I think it wouldn't have done Harry any good to have a teacher-ish sort of punishment. Remus I think has a bit of Slytherin in him; he's sorta sneaky with Sev. LOL And yep, Ginny and Remus are very much there for those two. Yay! Thanks for the awesome review!! :o)
Please update again soon!!! Author's Response: They'll definitely be able to pull through together! :o) Glad you enjoyed.
It was great to see Sev's thought process after the fight...and extremely interesting! I'm kinda ashamed to admit it...but I really like that Sev was abused (or close to it) by his father as a child. I think it really adds to his character and perhaps explains a little more as to why his demeanor is what it is. *shrugs* It just makes sense to me. It was also great that Sev trashed his room...like, say Harry trashing Dumbledore's office. Like father like son is right Esther! It's even greater to see them act so similarly and have similar feelings of guilt and shame during their time apart in this chapter. It was also great for Sev to admit to himself (and us) that he didn't blame Harry for bruising Pinth...after all, Sev'd done far worse to Sirius and James during his years at school. It's true and great for him to admit it to us then in the conversation on the couch to be in Harry's head, listening and trying to make sense of his misconceptions about his father's feelings...perfect! I was extremely pleased that Harry couldn't bring himself to pack up his things and leave home. It would have been extremely bad for Sev and I realize that now...he would have felt really, really guilty for frightening Harry so much so that he left. Although now we also know that Harry wasn't afraid of Sev per say, but afraid of what he'd done to his father. The little segway to Remus and Ginny was a perfect little break that reminded me just how much Harry and Sev mean to these two. Especially when Ginny was worried that Sev would hurt Harry in a way that would keep him from ever getting back to normal (or as close to normal as is possible at this point). And Remus' reassurances that Sev wouldn't do anything...that was truly a big show of their relationship, and I loved it. But that Ginny...insisting that Remus check up on Sev later tonight. It was heartbreaking to have Sev be so confused at Harry's reaction of wanting to keep the photo album after he leaves...and then to suddenly understand. It must have been hard to leave his son to tend to that meddlesome old fool Albus yet again. I am starting to wonder if he's doing this explicitly on purpose. Hmmm...something to speculate on later. But, I thoroughly enjoyed the talk on the couch...it was perfect! There was so much emotion spewing from both our boys and they handled it extremely well, I think! Good job, boys! It is horrible though that Sev blames himself for James and Lily's deaths. Although I suppose he does have some reason for it, who's to say that it wouldn't have happened anyway? I also love it when some of Sev's concern and love shows through his shields...telling Harry that he will not loose him. My throat closed up in time with Harry's. I am growing quite apprehensive about this meeting with Voldemort, though. It's making me worry with what he could do and say to Harry to make him loose his temper...should I be worried? And even though Harry vehemently denied that he was angry with Sev...is he? Does he blame his father for getting himself killed, leaving Harry, and breaking his (almost) promise? Or is he truly just pissed off at Voldie? (I feel this to be unlikely, but am having some trouble un-coding Sev's words.) I was sooo happy that Harry got the courage to tell Sev that he promised to not disappoint him. It was hard, but good job Harry. Now that Sev knows he can fully (or close to it) understand your emotions from the past weeks...so it's good all around! Especially since Sev said that he was never disappointed in Harry but quite the opposite...quite the awww moment. “The mistakes you make do not change the way I regard you,” I was so happy once this got out there. Harry really did need to hear it...stupid Dursleys. '“Then you take the next best course of action.” How was it that a man whom Harry never would have believed could know anything about being reasonable, always managed to be so damned logical? Trying to lighten the mood a bit, Harry queried, “So I have your permission then to hex other students?” But his father’s face remained passive.' This was just perfect...although it must have sucked to have that slight bit of humor die at Sev's next comment...I hate it when that happens.. I seriously hope we get to see what was going on inside Sev's head after their discussion, when he was sitting on the couch with his fingers over his eyes and elbows on his knees. Please? And hearing more about Halloween broke my heart, to hear Sev say that he was worried about Harry, make him understand even more just how much he loves him...it was great. As was Sev's casual comment of, "I asked Lupin to take care of you," especially since it could be interpreted as, "So, Remus and I are kinda bestest of friends now and I trust him so much that I'd asked him to be the one to take care of you if I did kick the bucket that night." And then there's Harry's guilt to contend with...he's so in character it hurts, as did Sev's constant insistence that Harry has done nothing that would constitute Sev's leaving him. Just too perfect. I love Sev's line of "You actually want me to be angry at you? Well then, let's talk about your punishment." That certainly got Harry's attention, although not in exactly the way I think he was expecting it to. *snickers* Silly Sev! He's too clever, keeping Harry around during the evenings, while away from his friends, but not so much so that he'll never see them nor attend classes. Tricky Potions Master coming through! Hopefully, though the bonding does continue and become more evident to Harry as the are around each other during these two weeks...and I expect to see some potion brewing and photo gazing!! Hmmm...what are these arrangements that Sev needs to make before Potions tomorrow? Any hints? Remus!! I was so happy to see him and Sev interact again! They're really shaping up to be friends...even though it's possible that Sev was telling him everything (in the most general of terms) because he just needed to vent and Remus just happened to be on hand...but he obviously trusts him. That's good. But you can also see more of how Sev's changed since Halloween with his, "Since there was very little point in being annoyed..." I really like this new Sev, so thanks for putting us through all that horrible angst and hurt just to keep him believable...it was defiantly worth it. And seriously, the tears wanted to form when I read those last few paragraphs of Sev's...they were just soo emotional for him, and hurtful too. It was horrible to see him berate himself like that, but there's more evidence that he is Harry's father. They both beat themselves up constantly for their mistakes...and the consequences of those mistakes. Hopefully they'll be able to help each other overcome these feelings of self-loathing sometime relatively soon...although there are bigger problems on their plate right now. But, then again, Remus is also great at showing just how much those two are worth, how important they are to each other, and how much the one needs the other. I love that werewolf! He handled Sev perfectly in this chapter and I am extremely grateful that he did make Sev realize that he's nothing like the Dursleys. Hopefully he remembers that... Hmmm...I'm beginning to be able to see Sev stalking through the corridors of the castle, randomly running into Filch and decking him, and without loosing his stride, continue on through the hall... I'm seriously wishing for a big confrontation between these two next chapter...*crosses fingers* Well, sorry I'm so talkative without making much sense, I just loved this chapter and am still floating high above the clouds that are currently spilling their guts all over...stupid snow. Good luck with the next chapter! I can't wait to read it! (Especially with a certain awkward conversation possible making an appearance!) Author's Response: I’m glad the chapter felt right to you and don’t worry that you didn’t cry…we aren’t all overemotional Hufflepuffs!
Oh, Sev was abused…not close to it about it. It does explain a lot about his character and especially his interactions with Harry. They are very much alike, aren’t they? I’m glad you enjoyed the similarities/dichotomies. Sev can’t really blame Harry for hitting Pinth and really the reason he wants him not to do something like that is so that Harry can be better than he is. It’s what parents always want for their children, I suppose. Glad you liked seeing inside Sev’s head.
Harry couldn’t leave. He just couldn’t. It’s his home now and even though he thought he should go, he just couldn’t.
Loved the long review. I think it was longer than my shortest chapter!!!! Thanks! I’m floating too. :o)
Thanks Author's Response: Thanks. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. I'm glad I could give you a few surprise. :o)
Thank you for venturing into these dark places in them and writing this. It must have been extremely difficult to capture this kind of self-hatred (I'm still shivering at Severus's words at the beginning... "how could his son love a creature so wretched, so foul as he? He was a man filled with hate, with such darkness that there was nothing but cruel bile"). Oh, Severus. While it's true that he's let his worst nature take over on plenty of occasions, it's painful to hear him think like this just after he's taken himself away from his son so as not to hit him. A man who is thoroughly cruel would not saved his child like that (and would not have been able to have the conversation they later had out on the sofa). And same goes for Harry... how he thinks he's a worthless son because of some horrible things he says, and totally disregards his remorse over it and the many great things he's done for his father. I thought that was a lovely conversation on the sofa. That's actually when I began to cry, because it was such a potent mix of their persistence insecurities yet at the same time a very hopeful sort of conversation too. Severus got it right the second time and was able to demonstrate his point about Harry's behavior while showing concern and being reasonable (I laughed a little at Harry's, "You mean, I'm allowed to hex students?!") He was able to show Harry that he understands his son's emotions. Instead of shouting that it was wrong of Harry to hit Pinth (which is hypocritical, given Severus's own impulses and his need to punch out Filch), he was basically saying, "I understand that you were angry, you had a right to be, but you still need self-control. Your emotions weren't wrong, but the course of action you took was." That's an important thing for Harry to hear... that he's allowed to feel emotions naturally, that he's not supposed to suppress them to please others. However, it's how he acts on them that counts. This will be important for his relationship with Severus too. He can't go denying that he's mad at Severus when he is, or that he's hurt or whatever. I can tell how disturbed Severus was at the promise Harry had made, never to upset his father. Harry needs to know that it's safe to feel even unpleasant emotions, and this knowledge I think will help him better exercise self-control. And I'm so glad he told Harry that he's proud of him. That's probably the part I cried the most. Because it's such a powerful thing for Harry to hear - that even now, after they've had a fight and Harry said some cruel things - his dad still loves who he is (shoot, I'm getting teary writing this now - how on Earth did you get through his chapter?) I also like Severus's punishment. Harry will get to see his friends during the day, and then can hang out with his dad in the evening. It balances things for him, as he really wasn't ready to leave his home and venture out to classes to begin with. But here Severus is saying that he trusts that Harry can start up classes again, but that he also knows what his son needs and that as the father he's drawing boundaries (and again, it's another message of, "this is your home, you're always welcome here"). Plus he'll love the chance of having Harry around. They both need to be with each other. And finally, Remus... I so love the faith he's been showing in Severus, but that he took Ginny's words to heart and decided to check up on them. He's so easygoing and reasonable, and I think he's making good progress with this one-sided friendship business... though really, it's not one-sided after all, I mean, Severus actually let him stay in the lab and actually shared some of his concerns about Harry (what is the world coming to?) Great job on this chapter. I hope you take a well-deserved rest after writing it! Author's Response: Harry and Severus are very much alike, it's true. Both full of self-doubts and yet so much concern for the other. Selfless. Their insecurities are very similar and very sad as well. Yeah, Severus really does need to take a step back and figure out that he really is not so bad after all. He's made some terrible mistakes in his life, but yeah, he's done so much for Harry. Just his selflessness in this alone is enough to atone for so much. He didn't have to go back and forgive Harry everything and be so willing and wanting to sit and talk through everything with Harry, but he does. I'm so glad you felt all the emotions that they went through when they were talking. It was very hopeful. Harry is finally getting that Severus is not going to toss him away and that the way he feels is valid. They both are still hurting so much but it got better through that and Harry is beginning, just like Lupin said, to feel secure with everything. And yeah, Severus was very disturbed by Harry's vow never to anger him again. He has always worried that Harry acts a bit too wary around him and listens out of fear...those emotions are closely tied in with how he feels about his own father and he really doesn't want that sort of relationship with his son. And he doesn't want Harry to be so concerned with pleasing him because he's afraid. LOL I did have a very hard time getting through this chapter. I could barely see the screen at a few points. Sev's pride was definitely one of them. But as Harry has never experienced real unconditional love, he needs to hear this! Severus and Harry do need to be with each other. That punishment was important because it mirrored what Ron and Neville were getting and I think Harry really has a need to feel that Severus will treating him like a real son and not be so afraid that he will crack at the barest movement and yes, it was important as well because it allows them time to continue bonding, something that Harry desperately wants. Remus is wonderful and don't think Severus doesn't know that he didn't come barging in earlier, like some other wizards! LOL Severus is opening up slowly, though I don't think he really means to. He doesn't even realize how much he misses have a friends. Poor man. Thanks so much! I do need a break. LOL
I think he showed great control to get himself out of the room before he hurt his son. Tearing up a room is better striking his son. And, oh my, like father like son is tearing up a room. Yep, after that outburst, Harry not only needed to be punished, he wanted to be punished. Punishment isn't evil. (If Severus ever discovers that Harry threw down his wand and attacked, he will probably have a heart attack.) Harry did something wrong, he knows it and he is willing to face the consequences. Only this time, the punishment will fit the crime and be down with love. Blew, great chapter, I will have to go back and reread. Author's Response: Yeah, it was pretty hard to write...emotionally exhausting! He does carry around a lot of guilt but it's pretty understandable really. I only touched on it a bit this chapter, but he was not treated well by either of his parents, abused by his father...never felt loved. It's a hard thing to get past. It's not that he's blaming himself for Harry saying that, only that he recognizes that Harry should still be allowed to be upset over it. He's not really big into the idea that Harry should keep his feelings to himself and sure, Harry should have gone about it in a nicer way, but those things needed to be said. LOL Yeah, though Sev does have some great control there. Tearing up a room is definitely better. I'm glad you liked the chapter. I feel the same way. Blew. LOL :o)
I am, however, glad to see that Lupin is determined to become Severus' friend, no matter how difficult Severus will make it. I do wonder why Severus assigned the two week punishment of not seeing his friends to Harry. How is that supposed to help? Author's Response: It's not as if he won't be seeing his friends. Only not after dinner. I think he'll survive and believe me, our little Potions Master has a method to his madness. And some of it was trying to give Harry a bit of the normalcy he is so desperately seeking. And too, Ron and Neville won't be seeing their friends either while they're scrubbing toilets and neither would Harry if he had been given the same punishment by Minerva. That's rather the point... Also, Harry still has work to catch up on and if he's home with Dad, I'm sure the two of them can have some nice chats while they brew... :o) It was a very difficult chapter to write. I'm glad you felt that knife twisting though. I cried through a good portion of it. It was hard to see the keyboard! I feel bad for both our guys, but the healing is finally ready to begin now that Severus is in a place where he can be less stringent in his emotional guarding and Harry doesn't have to be so afraid that he'll be tossed out on his ear. Yes, our Lupin is determined and there was a bit of a crack in Severus' facade there...he's most likely gonna lose this war against Remus. :oP
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :o)
Nightshade Author's Response: Twisted. LOL I'm glad you enjoyed it. Severus knows as much as Albus told him and what little bit Harry has shared. So, not much. I think Severus has more guilt than anyone can possible imagine. I little more is not going to sink him. :oP
But how could Harry say that? I understand he was angry and all but to say that? Ohhh I feel so bad for Severus... Things were just going well... Please do update soon! Will Severus ever forgive him? Author's Response: Sometimes we just say things we regret and Harry is not just angry; he's dealing with lots of feelings and lots of them were brought up over the last few days as people taunting him about how much Severus hated him and how he was left by his own father, and such and such. Harry's natural feelings of being hurt by that have surfaced and his natural tendency to believe that nobody wants him. Just like the Dursleys never did. Every family has its bumps. These two are no different. |
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