Hmm... I wonder how far away this park is from Little Whinging?
| Title: Chapter 8; Home Sweet Home
| 10 Jul 2010 1:39 am
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| Reviewer: tobie (Anonymous)
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Cute story. You really could use a beta reader, though, to help with verb tenses, misuse of words (you "dote" on a child, not "dolt" -- VERY different meanings), etc.
| Title: Chapter 3: The Inconvenience
| 20 Mar 2010 6:59 am
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| Reviewer: Lisa Moore (Anonymous)
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I started to read your story, but only made it to the beginning of the third chapter. The plot seems OK, but it grates on my nerves to try to read a story written by someone who can't pick a tense and use it *consistently*.
Nice chapter. Look forward to the sequel and maybe the series??
| Title: Chapter 8; Home Sweet Home
| 10 Dec 2009 8:09 am
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| Reviewer: Fairner (Signed)
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can't wait for the sequel!
The only thing I think you need to add to this story is a sequel. Thanks for sharing this with the world.
I liked the ending to this. I hope Severus will call Harry, Harry and not Potter all the time. Can't wait until the sequel. :)
| Title: Chapter 8; Home Sweet Home
| 07 Dec 2009 5:10 pm
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| Reviewer: Fmh (Signed)
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Thank you for a great story I like the fact that Severus was still uncertain at the end but couldn't help himself in doing the right thing!
| Title: Chapter 8; Home Sweet Home
| 07 Dec 2009 6:21 am
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| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
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Just so you know, The End is listed twice in your story. It shows up automatically on completed stories. Also, you have both "Chapter End Notes:" and "A/N."
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