Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: Honesty 27 Jul 2009 6:28 am
Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed) [Report This]
    I love Severus' compromise. It really is an uphill battle for Severus to get through to Harry. I am still very much enjoying this.

    A few notes:

    Which Pasadena did you mean? If you mean Texas or California, it is spelled Pasadena, and I suspect Severus would not be using that as an example. I suspect he'd go for Greece or Spain or the French coastline. It just struck me as it's at the end of the chap.

    Also: you have a habit of writing conversation like this:

    '“Yup.” Confirmed Blaise.'

    This feels awkward and halting. The punctuation currently recommended is:

    '“Yup,” confirmed Blaise.' or '“Yup,” Blaise confirmed.' (Also lowercase after the comma, unless it is a name, as it is here.)

    Even exclamation points and question marks use lowercase for a dialog tag ("You!" he said.) The only time you use a capital letter after quoted text is for stage directions ("I'm leaving." She stomped through the door.) In that last case, the stage direction happened by the same person, but are not related to her talking. Note, if the stage direction is combined with a sentence tag, it is again lowercase: ("I'm leaving," she yelled, as she stomped through the door.)

    I hope that helps. The choppiness of the dialog sentence structure as it stands kept distracting me from what is really a fabulous, fun, enthralling story.

    I can't wait to read more!

    Author's Response: Glad you liked the chapter, and thanks for the tips. I changed Pasadena to Tuscany, and I'll work on the dialog. :0)
Title: Honesty 27 Jul 2009 5:29 am
Reviewer: joie (Anonymous) [Report This]
    awesome story - so well written and original. please finish it!

    Author's Response: Glad you like it!! It probably won't be finished anytime soon, but I can promise I'll continue it!
Title: Honesty 27 Jul 2009 2:57 am
Reviewer: DS (Anonymous) [Report This]
    This one was really great. I liked how Severus listened and understood. I really hope though that Harry will open up soon. It's difficult to see him so wary and closed off and Severus continually disappinted.

    Author's Response: Yeah, it is kinda sad. I think Sev pushed a little too hard on this one, though. I think I would've felt attacked, too, in Harry's situation. Anyway, Thanks for the review! Glad you liked the chapter!! :0)
Title: Honesty 27 Jul 2009 1:10 am
Reviewer: crazychick84 (Signed) [Report This]
    Aww it was fine, not depressing at all lol, I like the idea of Harry having provate lessons and even more time one on one with Severus, never can get enough of that :)

    Author's Response: LOL glad you like it. About half the people responding to that comment said 'yeah, it's depressing, but we like it anyway,' and about half said what you said. I average it out to 'parts are depressing, but the rest is happy enough to not make the whole chapter depressing'. What do you think? lol anyway, glad you like the one-on-one time idea. I was looking for a way to get Harry back with Snape without assigning more detentions, and that was it. :0)
Title: Honesty 26 Jul 2009 11:35 pm
Reviewer: ER (Anonymous) [Report This]
    I wasn't quite sure what to expect when reading this story, but I have to say I absolutely love it. I love Harry's characterization. I only hope the Dursleys haven't hurt him so badly he won't be able to trust again. I can't wait to read more!

    Author's Response: I'm glad you like it so much!! Yey!! Thanks for reviewing!!
Title: Honesty 26 Jul 2009 10:56 pm
Reviewer: writeurlife (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Harry's going to challenge him on that... I predict a couple of swears and the rest of the hour reading.

    Author's Response: LOL we'll see...I honestly don't know yet. I never know what's going to happen until I've written it. (Or the characters have written it, depending on who you talk to. Sometimes I feel like I'm just taking dictation.) Thanks for the review!!!
Title: Honesty 26 Jul 2009 8:43 pm
Reviewer: Snapesthe1 (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Harry's a tough nut to crack...but I loved the chapter! I just about fell out of my seat at his conversation with Sinestra:)

    Author's Response: LOL I'm glad you liked it so much! Yeah Harry's definitely very stubborn. Thanks for the review!!
Title: Honesty 26 Jul 2009 5:35 pm
Reviewer: Meg (Anonymous) [Report This]
    YAY.

    excellent chapter. like usual. [:

    Author's Response: YAY!!! So glad you like it!! :0)
Title: Honesty 26 Jul 2009 5:18 pm
Reviewer: frostedmidnight (Anonymous) [Report This]
    I loved this chapter! Yay for new updates! I can't wait for more! Hee, Sinistra is quite annoying in this fic..did they actually have astronomy first year in the book, I can't remember...Ahh, anyways, until next time!!
    ~Frosty

    Author's Response: According to the Lexicon (it's the best HP info site EVER) they have Astronomy at least every Wednesday night. We don't actually meet Sinestra in canon, though, so I got to make her who I wanted her to be. Which, of course, is a bitch on wheels. Thanks for the review!! I'm glad you liked the chapter!!
Title: Honesty 26 Jul 2009 10:47 am
Reviewer: mithrilandtj (Signed) [Report This]
    Oh Severus is just asking for it.
    An hour to say "anything"?

    BTW: I'm currently reading the latest Anita Blake book. It rocks! Edward is so cool!

    Author's Response: LOL yeah. I wonder what Harry'll have to say. Woot!! Go Anita Blake!! Yeah I haven't finished the series - I just ran out of the ones I bought. I'm on Incubus Dreams, but am putting off reading it because last time the series ate my life for like a week and a half. lol. And I agree, Edward is AWESOME. However, I really love books where my favorite character is the main, which is the case in this series - go Anita!!! She's so awesome. I like how she's totally capable of keeping up with the men, but not because she has equal physical strength to them (that would be unrealistic) but through force of will, magic, and firearms. She's just awesome. :-)

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