flue is actually spelled floo. I like this story. It's interesting and I like your writing style. Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thanks a lot! (and I'll fix the error eventually - I thought it was spelled floo but my spellcheck didn't like it)
| Title: Oops?
| 03 Apr 2009 6:42 pm
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| Reviewer: La Mariane (Anonymous)
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Hello! I like your story but it's geeting really angsty. I feel a little humour (like in the fist 2 chapters) might go well:)
Author's Response: Aye, aye, sir! :-)
Wow, that was certainlysome display of power. I love a powerful Harry, I have to admit.
I would have liked to see Severus' conversation with Albus...all we saw was a smiling, impressed headmaster after the wrecking of the hospital wing.
it's difficult to imagine when Harry is going to look upon Severus as anything but the enemy. I can understand Severus' frustration.
Lesley~
Author's Response: No worries, I'll be going back to that convo. I just didn't manage to work it into this chapter.
This is a great story, I reallyt like the fact that Sev will have to work at being a guardian...makes a nive change
Author's Response: Thanks! Yup, the onus is definitely on Snape at this point to make the relationship work. (Not that I really feel sorry for him - he started it!)
| Title: Oops?
| 02 Apr 2009 10:47 pm
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| Reviewer: fictionfan (Anonymous)
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I really liked this story, but it seems to be drifting into MarySue territory. Harry's ability to hide the shame of the abuse suffered at Vernon's hand was cool, but Uber Harry who overpowers Snape and Dumbledore... not so good. IMHO
The humor element is a nice touch and Harry teaming up with Fred and George and their salute... nice
Author's Response: Don't give up on me yet! That was mostly just a panic response, not a good indicator of Harry's power when he's in control. Thanks for your review!!
Ooh - nice ending there. I'm looking forward to seeing how Severus plans to react in the future... and especially what Harry thinks of it! Somehow I have the feeling that there will yet more fireworks! :D I hope you update soon.
Author's Response: Fireworks are fun...:-)
Ah! You're writing faster than I can keep up! Anyway - brilliant chapter - and it covered loads of ground. I especially liked the way you handled the inter-house co-operation and the various ways Harry avoided Snape. The way Snape reeled him in, though, was perfect! My favourite part was definitely when Snape managed to trick Harry into revealing his secret and Harry's reaction to that...! Oh, and yes the paragraphs are much better now - five or six lines high is probably the most you can get away with without it looking too much like block text.
Just two things I noticed:
The Matron looked taken aback at his frowardness - Should be 'forwardness'.
And Quiddich should be Quidditch.
Other than that, great chapter! I'm going right on to read the next!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Sorry I forgot to respond to this review - I'm really glad you liked this chapter. It's one of my favorites, too.
Well, at least Severus finally realized that he really put his foot in things with the way he started off with Harry. He's right that it will take a herculean feat to earn that boys trust at this point. Maybe he could realize why he can't sleep in the Hospital wing and help? He is, after-all, a master spy who is supposed to notice things that others wouldn't. Surely he could see that the boy CAN'T sleep-instead of thinking he is refusing to. Add that to the fact that the "last time" he slept he was in a "protected" area and maybe he could come up with some solution.
Wonderful chapter. I love Poppy!
V.
Author's Response: That's an idea...I don't know yet :-) Thanks!! I like Poppy, too. I hadn't originally conceived of her as a major player in this but she seems to be turning into one.
Aww poor Harry..he must have been so scared to do that, im glad that he likes Poppy though..I felt a little bad for Severus at the end, im looking forward to seeing him try harder with Harry : )
Author's Response: Yeah that was definately a major panic moment. Albus should send out a memo: "I like my school. Please do not scare Harry." lol
Does the infirmary have a private room for a patient that needs to be quarantined? The castle could probably make one if needed. Of course that depends on whether or not Harry tells anyone about the room being too big.
Author's Response: Hmm...an idea. The problem is, as you said, Harry's pride. We'll see! (I don't know yet either lol)
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