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Reviews For Broken Wings
Author's Response: Yeah, Jace is sweet! You'll see a bit more of him next chapter. Harry does manage to rise to the occasion, that class was really wild. Like one that I used to have. It was like Troublemakers 101.
Author's Response: A lot will go on, as you'll see when you read future chapters. Thank you!
I'm looking forward to the next chapter! Author's Response: Thanks! You don't know how many times I had to write that on my students' assignments. I think that's why in high school and middle school, teachers now let kids type their assignments. Your son sounds like my nephew, who has some of the worst handwriting ever and his teacher tells him to re-write half of his homework and to take his time. The next chapter should be up soon and thanks for reading.:)
Loved the first class session. :-) Author's Response: Ugh! I don;t blame you, I dealth with it for five years, teaching different grades, mind . . .I switched from 7th to pre-K thinking it'd be a nice change . . .till I got the preschoolers from Satan's playground . . .and ended up writing more incident reports than anyhting else. Thanks for reading and I'll have the next one up soon!
Author's Response: I tried to keep it realistic, and some of what those kids did are things that my students did to me when I first started teaching. That spell can fix a lot. I should have the next chapter up soon!
hope that u update soon.... Author's Response: Thanks, I'll be updating very soon!
Anyways, this was my favorite part of this chapter: "The Re-do spell." "I never heard of that before. How do you cast it?" "Hand the paper back to the student and say "Re-do this, so I can actually read it." Severus replied. "It works quite well." Hilarious! Good work! -P.G. Author's Response: yes, i wanted to lull him at first, because generally the kids behave for the very beginning of class . . .then they start plotting and misbehaving. I hate that one too. I always got "But nobody reads this anymore, so why do we have to?" Or when we were doing Shakespeare "But nobody cares about these dumb people, so why should I?" Drove me crazy. That Re-Do spell works like a charm, LOL!
I also liked how your Lavender used really big words. Am I right in guessing that you're trying to go against her 'idiot blonde' stereotype in fanfiction here? It was nice to see her give good advice to Ron, even if he didn't listen to it at first. My one criticism for this chapter is that you explained Harry's accidental magic both before he exploded the cauldron and afterwards. Before it, you told us: "Though he was fifteen, Harry was also a powerful wizard, and sometimes he still had bouts of accidental magic, which was common in the strongly gifted, it took years to bring the magic to heel, hence the reason for Hogwarts' remote location." After that, however, Severus explains the same thing to Harry, giving us the same information twice. Normally, that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but having the info before the explosion kind of made it seem like Harry might have understood that it was his accidental magic doing it. I think it would be better if you left that part out and left the readers wondering what went wrong until Severus explains it. There's more confusion in the situation that way. Other than that, the cauldron scene was my favorite of the chapter and I liked that Harry didn't ruin the potion and that Sev could salvage it, despite the extra charge it got. Great chapter! -P.G. Author's Response: Yes, that's a necessary thing especially if you really feel like nailing someone for being an idiot. It's better to hit a bag than your friend. Sometimes. :) Yes, I think that stereotype is unfair and there should be more than just Hermione in Gryffindor who is smart. Funny how the other Gryffindor girls are usually presented as giggling bubbleheads in canon. I disagree with that and wanted to show that Lavender isn't just a dumb chick that Ron goes to because she's pretty and available. I wanted to stress the reason why Hogwarts was secluded and also the accidental magic because another reviewer missed that point when I posted the chapter on FF.net and only had the paragraph describing the fact that students still had accidental magic outbursts even after they were eleven. And Harry didn;t know what was happening, so I had Severus explain it for him, and for those who missed it the first time around. Glad you likedmy stasis spell, I got the idea for it from a commercial where a kid spills something on the rug and they do one of those timed still shots where it freezes in mid-air. That's when I thought, well why not do that to an exploding potion?
-P.G. Author's Response: Yes, he needed to talk with Severus about Cedric, it was really tearing him apart. And Severus would know best how to handle him, since he felt the same kind of guilt over Lily's death.
Hope our guys can find Dumbledore! Author's Response: Thanks, I fixed it. My WP has this automatic corrector on it and sometimes it drives me crazy. If it doesn;t recognize the way I've used a word, it substitutes one in its place. It did that with another story, changing the word 'empath" to "empathy" repeatedly. It did the same with this and I forgot to check it again after I posted it. Dumbledore is incognito for right now. |
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