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Reviews For What's Owed
However, you might want to amend some of the words; 'candy' is either 'sweets' or 'chocolate' (depending on the kind), 'chips' are 'crisps', 'soda' is generally refered to as a 'soft' or 'fizzy' drink and 'oatmeal' is 'porridge'. (It doesn't matter overmuch but it does add a feeling of authenticity to the story if the characters use British English)
Author's Response: I'm sorry to hear that readers feel that way about the story. I rather liked the ending and had planned it that way from the start. The reader wasn't meant to see all that happened between the beginning and the end, only the parts that I felt were key. I feel that sometimes less is better. Thank you for your input though.
Author's Response: Good point. People are crazy though. I don't know how it is there in England, but I've occasionally seen people here in the US in packed grocery stores or public parking lots yelling at their kids, cursing at their kids, or spanking their kids (although I don't considder mild spanking as abuse if used appropriately) amongst other things. I think that if somebody is abusive behind closed doors they either really don't care about their children, or will have a hard time keeping that under wraps while out in public. It's a behavior and behavior is hard to change and therefor would show itself in private and in public to some extent. Great insight though.
Anyway, I didn't really care for this story. It was extremely cheesy. The ending was very rushed and entirely too fluffy: my teeth are aching from the overload of saccharinity. I would recommend taking more time in the future to craft a better, more believable and less mawkish finish. Good luck with your future fics! :-) Author's Response: I did not know there was another story with this title. I won't be apologizing though. I do not think it is cheesy in the least, neither rushed or overly sweet. I took a great deal of time crafting this story, and think it is very believable. While I will thank you for the review, I will also say that if you're going to give criticism, make it constructive. Examples would go a long way in that regard, and a review like this does nothing whatsoever to make a writer a better one. I guess your review seemed more like a flame than constructive criticism. Thanks regardless.
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