Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: Secrets Revealed 02 May 2011 8:28 pm
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]
    Yes! I love it! It was a difficult meeting but I'm glad that they got through it. Good job with Snape's character. McGonagall seemed to be a little emotional, but still within her limits of being in character. I would have liked to see more descriptions of her physically, it would have made it more real for me.

    There are still some punctuation errors. When someone talks, commas are used to connect the dialogue to the person talking. For example: Severus cleared his throat, "I would be delighted." Or "I can't believe that could be possible," McGonagall said. Commas are used there instead of periods. It's a bit distracting to read and notice the punctuation, but the plot and development of the story is so good that I would keep reading even if it was always like that.

    But great chapter! I love the development. I can't help but worry that Ginny is going to try something like suicide and the Weasleys won't be able or willing to take Harry in. I can't wait to find out. Thanks for all the updates!

    Author's Response:

    You have just named my two great weaknesses as a writer :-).  

    Sadly, I find that I can't see when my commas are used incorrectly, until I come back to reread it sometime later--I try to clean it up when I see the errors and work with a beta when I can.  Sorry for the distracting nature of it. 

    The other problem is somewhat harder to correct.  I'm face blind, so my descriptions of characters are the way I actually remember people.  I can tell you perhaps what she was wearing and how she looked like she was feeling, but I can't describe how people look because I don't remember them the way other people do.  It's something I work on--trying to describe people physically.  Unfortunately, it's sometimes like a color blind person trying to describe a flower.

     Minerva's having a really hard time.  I think she would have been a little less emotional, had this meeting been put off a for a bit. 

    Yeah, Ginny is a little worrying, isn't she? 

     

Title: Secrets Revealed 02 May 2011 6:17 pm
Reviewer: Hope_06 (Signed) [Report This]
    you nailed Minerva so well actually you got them all so well including remus. I have a feeling that Harry has already wormed his way into Sev's heart and he isn't going to be able to deny it much longer
Title: Secrets Revealed 02 May 2011 4:53 pm
Reviewer: LegolasAnimeLuver (Signed) [Report This]
    NICE~! Everyone is in perfect character too! Very good job! Please update soon!
Title: Secrets Revealed 02 May 2011 7:22 am
Reviewer: chrmisha (Signed) [Report This]
    Love love love your writing, as always!Can't wait for more.
Title: Secrets Revealed 02 May 2011 6:13 am
Reviewer: Helene (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Oh Yes!
    Progressing nicely. Thanks for the latest chapter.
Title: Secrets Revealed 02 May 2011 4:55 am
Reviewer: 1reader_1writer (Signed) [Report This]
    That was really well done. Kudos for very insightful and spot on characterizations throughout
Title: Secrets Revealed 02 May 2011 4:54 am
Reviewer: B00kw0rm92 (Signed) [Report This]
    Oh, this is so good. Poor Harry though. I hope this all works out for him, one way or the other!
Title: Secrets Revealed 02 May 2011 2:47 am
Reviewer: jolisgsd@gmail.com (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Brilliant! I can see of the participants in that discussion reacting in just the way you wrote them.
Title: Lunch with Snape 30 Apr 2011 6:57 am
Reviewer: DestinedMommy (Signed) [Report This]
    this is bloody fantastic!! i love reading this u make the characters seem so real!! keep up the gr8 wrk n i cant w8 to read the nxt chapter plz update soon!!!
Title: Lunch with Snape 29 Apr 2011 11:52 pm
Reviewer: Jane (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Wow! I just found this story last night and have completely skipped everything I could (sans work) in order to read up to chapter 18. This story is amazing, the characters are both realistic and relatable, and the plot is interesting. The different ways the different characters are reacting to the trauma(s) they've experienced is very interesting. It makes me, as a reader, place myself in these situations and see how I would respond.
    Wonderful job of making Snape human but not gushy or ridiculous. Also- wonderful job making Harry traumatized but believably a teenager. I will keep reading!

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