Wonderful story so far. Although i do believe youve made snape uncharactoristically slow at catching on that harry was in fact not a spoiled brat... Ever. Also i think harry should at some point question why snape treats Ian so well and him so poorly. After all its not his fault his mother made the decisions she did. He was only a baby afterall. Also wouldnt Ian come to realize Harry is his brother?
One a side note i think it would be interesting to see interaction between Snape and Lily. I realize there would have to be some kind of speacial circumstance because of how you explained the dream visit work. But i have a feeling she would very angrily whip severus into shape about his treatment of their son.
looking forward to the next chapter :)
| Title: Harry's mysterious Christmas gift
| 25 Nov 2013 12:07 am
|
| Reviewer: Fmh (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
Great chapter Severus is almost IC and good to see him trying to get to know Harry but still remaining Professor Snape!
| Title: Harry's mysterious Christmas gift
| 24 Nov 2013 9:05 pm
|
| Reviewer: Benny (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
I had to register to review.I must admit that I hesitated to create an account.this is my lazy side. I used to write fanfiction before and I remember how much it was pleasant to read what people thought of the new chapter. so I made an effort. I don't think you were too slow in your previous chapter. you take your time and this is what I appreciate in this story. you do not have to adapt your chapters to some readers who think differently. Although I can understand that they become impatient .But it would not be realistic if Harry and Snape quickly became close. as usual, your chapter was great.I really liked the fact that Snape had offered a picture of Lily to harry. I don't think Ian is a spoiled brat. He is afraid that his relationship with his father changes. He feels a bit misunderstood. He may think unconsciously that maybe his father will no longer worry about him because he does not care about his other son for years.I think his reaction is normal for a child. PS :I do not speak English very well. I hope I have not made r03;r03;too many mistake and that you were able to understand me :)
| Title: Harry's mysterious Christmas gift
| 24 Nov 2013 5:52 pm
|
| Reviewer: JolisGSD (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
Tu historia me gusta tanto que realmente tuve que abrir una cuenta en potion and snitches para poder dejar un comentario!!!
Nah!! El ritmo de la historia es perfecto porque se puede percibir como Severus se va a adoptando suavemente a tener un hijo más y que sea precisamente Harry
Me encanto el detalle de que Harry realmente le preguntara a Severus si el regalo era para él, que creyera realmente que había sido una equivocación
los obsequios hermosos sin duda la foto de Lily aun más
Gracias por actualizar!!!
| Title: Harry's mysterious Christmas gift
| 23 Nov 2013 11:26 pm
|
| Reviewer: YeCatsJ (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
| Title: Harry's mysterious Christmas gift
| 23 Nov 2013 6:24 pm
|
| Reviewer: Pandora (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
Oh, that is a big step forward!!! I loved this chapter. It seems like Snape is finally warming up to Harry. Maybe one day they can actually be a family.
Great chapter. Can't wait for more.
| Title: Harry's mysterious Christmas gift
| 23 Nov 2013 6:10 pm
|
| Reviewer: Biggi15 (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
so, I had to register to write you a review this time. But I just wanted to say that your story is not too slow paced, I don´t think that this has to be decided by your readers, you should write it the way you feel it right and it´s just the right pace the way it is. So please don´t change for some readers please do it your way. This is the only story I´m looking forward to every week and I´m so happy when it´s there every weekend. The chapter was fine and long and and I´m looking forward to the next, thank you so much.
| Title: Harry's mysterious Christmas gift
| 23 Nov 2013 4:47 pm
|
| Reviewer: Mary (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
Good choice of gift from Snape. Especially the picture of Lily. I don't think you are moving too slow in the progression. I think that it just feels that way because reading one chapter a week can be a bit frustrating. I think when read as a full story one chapter right after the other it will be fine on pacing. So is it better to have the frustration of getting just a little story every week or would it be better to wait and read it all when it is finished. I always decide that I should wait but then I end up checking and deciding to read the new chapter. I think that is a testament to your skill as a writen that I cannot wait. Keep up the great work.
| Title: Harry's mysterious Christmas gift
| 23 Nov 2013 2:33 pm
|
| Reviewer: quickster (Signed)
| [Report This]
|
I loved that Ian was excited about the firebolt. I hope he doesn't start to get jealous. I would Luke to see Harry have a relationship with both of his family members. It seems just like Harry to forget everything else at seeing a picture of his mother.
|