| Title: Eighteen: Like the Father Before Him
| 18 Jan 2017 5:18 am
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| Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
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Love it! I love stories where one of the students finds something they're passionate about at Hogwarts. I think if I were there I'd be like Hermione, soaking it all up with a sponge.
| Title: Seventeen: Life Isn't Fair
| 18 Jan 2017 5:11 am
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| Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
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| Title: Sixteen: Butterfly Tears
| 17 Jan 2017 5:20 pm
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| Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
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I'm cool with your Harry-perspective, but some of what you say in the narrator's voice in this and the previous chapter strikes me as strange - e.g. the idea that girls are more volatile than boys at that age (a thousand times, or something is what you say) when it's clear that out of all the characters here, Harry is most volatile, not any of the girls we glimpse. Luna is absolutely constant, Cho is predictable (her behavior is always the same!). Hermione is the only girl who seems mercurial -- logical sometimes, *scary dangerous* other times, weeping over her romances the next -- and that's canon, we're not spying that behavior in this particular story. It's striking that you're expressing a negative idea prevalent in our general culture about girlhood when the girls you've chosen to characterize don't have these qualities.
Harry dealing with Cho might think girls are hormonal messes, because he isn't sure how to interpret her behavior -- and that's in character -- but there are several other mentions in the narrator's voice about how unpredictable and illogical girls' behavior can be. I found it off-putting, especially in context: you have Harry think to himself how unpredictable and temperamental HE is, and then the next moment it's like, "...the ladies tho, amirite?"
Digging deeper, this pings me because sometimes the prevailing cultural narrative is so strong that it makes us ignore evidence in favor of our preferred story. The evidence here is that Harry is unpredictable, swinging from rage to fear to cooperative realism, to despair, and that he is a boy. The evidence is that the girls in your story don't behave this way. But the narrative of your story is telling readers, in the author's voice, that girls' emotions are unpredictable and volatile. A few times, now.
The conclusion we reach at a subconscious level is that men's emotions are Serious Business, and women's aren't. This is a very common trope in fiction: for example, terrible things often happen to female characters not to explore their inner turmoil or show how they learn and grow, but to serve as a source of backstory tragedy for a male character. (They killed his wife. This time, it's personal.) Because it's the male emotions that matter more than the female character's very existence.
I'm sure some of your readers who see this review may think I've delved too deeply for a few 'throwaway' lines. But it's those throwaway lines, tossed out there so casually like all readers would agree, that is especially unsettling to me. "All girls" don't have any common traits but their girlhood.
I've been enjoying this story and I still do; and I really wanted you to know as well which lines stood out to me as strange, and why.
-K
Author's Response: Hi there, thank you so much for your in depth review! Wow, I totally did not realize I was doing that. I definitely wasn't going for that meaning. o.o Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Generally, I try to stay from those kinds of stereotypesa. I think I was trying to break Harry's crush on her and that's how everything came about. I'll be more aware of this next time, especially when I'm editing. :) Anthy
| Title: Twelve: Blibbering Humdingers and Thieving Nargles
| 17 Jan 2017 3:57 pm
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| Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
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As a teacher, I can attest to the fact that this is 110% accurate. Sometimes, you have that one, horrible class, and you've got to be incredibly strict or things explode. I've had students come into other classes to make up a test or a lab and watched their little faces register shock and amazement at the way everyone is doing their job and working quietly... and as a result, I can relax a wee bit, myself.
This is a fun story and I'm enjoying it a great deal! I'm sorry your health was crappy when you began; I hope you're feeling better, and if it's chronic, I hope you're doing as well as possible given your circumstances. :)
-K
I really loved this story and can't wait for the next update!
That cliffhanger though(T-T)
Ack, this is where you leave us??? Cruel, cruel, cruel. You are doing a marvelous job of slowly building up an acceptance and understanding between Snape and Harry, even- dare I say it- an affection ;) I really hope you'll update soon. The premise of this story is awesome; so are your characterizations (especially of our favorite greasy git). It would be such a shame if you abandoned it. I will be awaiting the next chapter with bated breath!
| Title: Twenty: Her Last Detention
| 04 Jul 2016 9:12 am
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| Reviewer: Smoulder (Signed)
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Please continue this story, it's awesome!
| Title: Two: You and Me Together
| 31 Mar 2016 4:25 am
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| Reviewer: Lanane (Signed)
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Oh Merlin... A 10 out of 10 for sheer laughs in this!
| Title: Twenty: Her Last Detention
| 20 Dec 2015 2:46 pm
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| Reviewer: woodyt (Signed)
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Please update soon the anticipation is killing me
| Title: Twenty: Her Last Detention
| 19 Dec 2015 2:14 pm
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| Reviewer: Bobby (Anonymous)
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I love your fanfic.Its so not like the other ones. Could you possibly add a spancking?pls update
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