Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: Culpam Poena Premit Comes 18 Mar 2010 5:51 am
Reviewer: amsilcox (Signed) [Report This]
    I think there is so much more that Severus could do to Petunia. I will leave it up to your discretion but oh what there is yet to affect her. Does Dudley have any magic in him or would he be considered a squib? I really am enjoying this story. Will Hermione get resorted into Slytherin and will Severus help her get new school books and what will happen to the girls in the Gryffendor dorm.

    Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Dudley is a squib- no magic in him whatsoever- but I can't tell you anymore (much as I want to) because I really shouldn't spill too many spoilers for the plot.
Title: Culpam Poena Premit Comes 18 Mar 2010 3:59 am
Reviewer: Kitsune-chan (Signed) [Report This]
    I like how you've portrayed Petunia and Eileen; it always annoys me to know end when the women are portrayed as angels and the men as complete, bullying jerks. Petunia as the 'nicer' one or even a victim completely annoys me; I view her as worse, and the one much more prone to being abusive. Your portrayal of Vernon as nice is something I have a little bit of an issue with, but not enough to decrease my enjoyment of the story. Love your Tobias; I wish that we could have seen more of him than that brief glance.

    The revenge thing by a teacher (especially Severus) is a bit overdone, although you're doing it well and giving it some twists of your own. Still, could stand to be... individualized more.

    One little nitpicky thing (I'm really pedantic about factual stuff): in the year 1000, they wouldn't have been using Middle English yet; instead, they would have been speaking Old English (Anglo-Saxon), which was an entirely different language, not yet having been influenced by a dialect of Old French called Anglo-Norman (also had added a lot of German influences). Salazar's manuscript would have had to have been translated sometime after 1100, when Middle English started developing after the Norman conquest; preferably, late fourteenth century (vaguely intelligible at that point). (Information from a website on the history of the English language)

    Wow, I'm -really- prone to prattle on, aren't I? Sorry for the super-long review, but succintness is not my forte by a long shot (unless I'm trying to write long essays, in which case my brain only ever supplies the most concise way of wording something. Stupid brain).

    Anyways,keep up the good work! (My nit-picking aside)

    Author's Response:

    Thanks for the review. I know that my Vernon is rather 'Alternate Universe' but I really wanted to mirror Severus and Harry's lives.

    Considering what most of my reviewers have said, I don't think they would have been all that pleased if I let Petunia off scott-free lol! However, Severus's revenge is just the beginning of the story.

    As for Slytherin's book, I have the problem that, if I wrote in actual Anglo-Saxon, I'd have to spend a couple of hours on the translation and then add huge long paragraphs in the End Notes, translating it back into Modern English. And then there is also the fact that Slytherin's phrasology, I feel, adds charm to his writings (which, if I used Old English, would be lost to any reader who couldn't understand Anglo-Saxon.) Therefore, I've compromised by germanic words (and spellings) where I can and throwing in the odd bit of Old Norse or Latin. Sometimes one needs to find a balence between authenticity and practicality.

     P.S. I have a BA in English Literature and I specialised in Old English ;)


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