| Title: Chapter; the First - Owl Post
| 23 Nov 2005 7:49 am
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| Reviewer: Kayla (Anonymous)
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The title alone peaks my interest. It has a good start, I can't wait to read more.
| Title: Chapter; the First - Owl Post
| 06 Nov 2005 11:56 am
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| Reviewer: French Chipmunk (Anonymous)
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Your story is really interesting - I'm hooked. Please put the next chapters up!!
wheres the rest of it? I thought it ws a good start....
| Title: Chapter; the First - Owl Post
| 14 Feb 2005 4:18 pm
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| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
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Hey! Where's the rest? lol. I was expecting a second chapter at least. Oh well. :) *twiddles thumbs* Ah just so that you know, sometimes the archive will take a 5/10 or a 6/10 and make it be 2 frogs. It's a harsh rating system I suppose but then again, all the stories on the archive are pretty much fantastic so we needed something real to be able to differentiate otherwise we would have nothing but 4 or 5 chocolate frogs and then that wouldn't mean anything. I guess a really bad story would have half of a frog. haha. Nah, I don't think that we will have any stories like that. Anyways, I think that Starangel was just giving you a 5/10 or a 6/10 and was waiting to read more before passing real judgement. La la laaaaa I'll be waiting for chapter 2! :)
| Title: Chapter; the First - Owl Post
| 14 Feb 2005 4:11 pm
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| Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed)
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Ah great first chapter! :D At first I was afraid when Harry got that owl- I'm very paranoid but I gues sthat Harry assumed that only the Order knew where he has or something. I LOVED the fact that Snape sent Harry his broomstick back. it's a very interesting comparison because the broomstick WAS a gift from Sirius. I loved the note that Snape wrote. The part that you added on about the owl leaving despondantly was so good- brilliant imagery as just a side event. Loved it and it added to the mood so well- I want to hug that owl!
It was alittle weird how Harry just put his broom on a shelf in his closet/cupboard because at first I was imagining it being placed sideways and it is a broom! A long broom and it made me think about how Harry put his broom in his trunk for all those years. o.O But I guess that the shelf was the bottom one and Harry stood it upright.
Okay grammer and random stuff: This sentence: "People are always saying how much he, Harry, is like his dad." had the wrong tenses. It should be "People were always saying how much he, Harry, was like his dad." Also, having Harry in the shower/loo while the rest of the household did their morning absolutions was a little strange as British houses usually don't have that many bathrooms- if Dudley wakes up and plays videogames in his room without leaving at all I suppose that it would be okay. This sentence: "His other exams were okay, too, but those weren’t most important to him." was a little odd as right after it you told us exactly what Harry got in "his other exams". The Sirius and Snape thoughts that Harry had were done well, not amazing but you managed to coast through them without making me feel ill from having to read about them again (everyone has to use them) so well done. Haha and I LOVED how Vernon pushed a note through Harry's bedroom door. That was a great bit of humor to leave the chapter on. Well done! I think that I'll give you a 7/10. (Oh and you had a typo "they least his uncle could have done was to tell him personally to “come down for breakfast.” should be "the")
Don't be so hard on yourself! This story is off to a very good start. You'll have to explain why Sev was so nice to Harry.
We don't always see the good aspects of our own fics but others can point them out easily enough.
I loved the note from Snape! I also liked that you have Harry seriously considering things again, now that he has simmered down some. I'd love to see him be able to grow some as a person, although some flame ups would be expected.
Update this when you're able and if you can let me know when you do that'd be great, since I don't think we have Author Alerts yet.
Keep going, you have a good story going here! Harry is very much in character as are the Durlseys. BTW, are you setting up a romance with Harry and Luna?
I have no idea where the story is going. But seems nice so far. ;)
Author's Response: 'It seems nice so far' and you rated me only two chocolate frogs? I'm hurt. I thought it would get better than that. And of course you don't where where the story is going *evil grins* Bum bum bum BUM! That's the point! And there will be many evil twists in the story too. Just keep reading, it'll make sense, and if you don't end up loving it...then all of my other reviewers are liars! lol
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