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Reviews For Home Is Where The Heart Is
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I already reviewed at fanfiction net. But then I wanted to review again but it wasn't possible. So here I go. This story is really good. Couldn't picture Snape with 9 kids. But the way you are writing it makes it sound so real. Anyway you describe Harry's feeling s very well. Will this story continue to be only on Harry's point of view? I think it would be interesting to know a bit of Snape thoughts as well. Especially baout what he thinks of Harry's shyness and awkward bevahiour and also that he was forced to have Harry for summer. I loved Snape's children saying " His bark is worth than his bite." Are you really planning on having some of Snape's children go to hogwarts? I can't imagine that, as you portrait him as a very private person and it would be nearly impossible to keep his family a secret in hogwarts. Please update soon!
Sorry I didn't write a review before, I just sort of noticed that there was a new chapter, so I had to say something. XD Great chapter! I really like how Harry has been "studying" the Snape children and how we get to look at them through Harry's eyes. The part about Harry writing character studies, however, seemed a little off, more like something of the write (you or me) coming through rather than Harry's attributes. I liked how the children at the lunch table had a "you eat whatever you get" look, that was cute. And Harry realizing that he had been colouring with a child all day? Priceless! The ending was great, what a cliffhanger! But why did it have to be a cliffhanger? You better update soon! :) hehe. One thing I noticed that may need some work is that there was a little too much filler. We all sometimes change our writing styles as we grow and learn. Filler is something that isn't so great in stories, particularly fanfiction because readers read to get a fast "hit", they want the part they will most enjoy and as much of it as possible while still keeping the story real. You made a good show expressing Harry's awkwardness but the filler made it less potent. Thanks for posting this chapter! :) Nice nervous, pain to the gut ending.
I like this view of Snape with wife and lots of kids. It certainly is different! Although, I think he'd have to have been married before he left Hogwarts for it to fit right for him to have kids more than a year older than Harry. I hope you update soon
This is a very interesting take on Snape! I'm trying to wrap my mind around the thought of him with nine kids, but it's so hard! Your writing makes it seem very natural, however, as though this is perfectly normal for Snape. The descriptions are beautiful as well, I'm a detail fiend, so all of the colors and details you add make me quite happy! The only vague suggestion I have would be to break up the larger paragraphs so that they aren't so dense, but it's really not a very big deal. I wonder what Snape wants to talk with Harry about... maybe his shyness or the Dursleys? Perhaps just what is expected of him over the summer? Hm, the possibilities are intriguing. I can't wait for your next installment! (But I will resign myself to it. Sigh. :) - Ari |
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