Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: Chapter 8 - Cleaning Up 25 Mar 2006 2:36 am
Reviewer: Ellie (Anonymous) [Report This]
    this is great! i love it. harry and snape act prefectly in character. excellent work!
Title: Chapter 8 - Cleaning Up 24 Mar 2006 4:48 am
Reviewer: Karen (Anonymous) [Report This]

    Your story is lovely.  I think it would be touching -- at some point -- to see Snape try to make up with Harry after punishing him unfairly.  You make it clear that Snape always carefully determines exactly what Harry did and whether or not Harry understood Snape's rules before punishing him.  You would need a situation where Harry will not admit what he was doing or why, such as trying to protect Snape or trying to do something very nice for him (like obtaining some of the potion ingredients that he destroyed) -- then have Snape jump to the wrong conclusions, hurting Harry's feelings terribly.

    I can see Snape trying to deal with a heartbroken Harry as the catalyst for a breakthrough between the two of them.

    I am as eager for your updates as anyone, but please don't let us rush you.  Take the time you need to write your story the way you want it written.

Title: Chapter 8 - Cleaning Up 24 Mar 2006 12:14 am
Reviewer: bella eiram (Anonymous) [Report This]

    Wow!  This story keeps getting better.  I really like the way you are taking it.

Title: Chapter 8 - Cleaning Up 23 Mar 2006 8:40 am
Reviewer: serenity, scarred_serenity@hotmail.com (Anonymous) [Report This]
    o dear. I wonder if he'll really make harry use his parents money to pay for it? love it@
Title: Chapter 8 - Cleaning Up 23 Mar 2006 4:29 am
Reviewer: mc (Anonymous) [Report This]

    Good work!!!

     Update as soon as possible!!!

Title: Chapter 8 - Cleaning Up 23 Mar 2006 3:06 am
Reviewer: dubdigit (Anonymous) [Report This]
    I like that he has to stay in Snape's sight for three days, it's just the sort of adult supervision that Harry needs. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Title: Chapter 8 - Cleaning Up 23 Mar 2006 12:27 am
Reviewer: hope99@hotmail.co.uk (Anonymous) [Report This]

    hi i love this story! it's brill the best! update soon

         amy  x

Title: Chapter 8 - Cleaning Up 23 Mar 2006 12:24 am
Reviewer: Mel (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Thanks for updating! I liked this chapter a lot. Harry deserved that punishment. I really like the idea of Harry having to stay in Snape's sight for the next 3 days. Harry seems to start realising that what he did was wrong. Maybe he can try by himself to get some of the potions ingredients he destroyed. Please update soon!
Title: Chapter 8 - Cleaning Up 23 Mar 2006 12:08 am
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]

    WOW, awesome chapter! Thanks so much for posting it! I love it. I think I enjoyed the "stay within my sight for two days" punishment better than the others. I loved how Snape said Harry'd better pray that he find at least one salvagable ingredient. Wow, great job with that, I could really see the malice in Snape. Poor Harry! He must feel so awful. Really great job with this chapter!!

    My favourite line? "I don’t have to do anything of the kind," Snape retorted. "I’ll stop once I think you’ve got the message, you disobedient, arrogant, horrible little brat." Hehe, I loved that line. I think that you could have added a bit more descriptions of Snape when he had Harry by the ear and was lecturing him- he seemed a little unknown in my mind when I was trying to picture the scene.

    Here's a list that may help you out with your corrections:

    This was the worst thing Harry could possible do

    "So you pushed open the door and went inside, knowing full well you shouldn’t not be in there.

    "In addition, you’ll go to bed at eight o’clock for the next week and do chores around the manor to show how me sorry you are

    And it felt weird to be lying on the sofa in this bed, trying to fall asleep while Snape worked at his desk. Room?

    You closed your eyes and go on to sleep, and I’ll be back in a few hours."

    Also, this part seemed a little unclear to me, at first I thought that maybe Harry was kneeling and rested his head on Snape's arm, but I'm not quite sure. Kneeling would be OOC for Harry, when I reread it later it seemed that Harry was standing? Was Snape sitting?
    Harry abandoned all logical thought and wrapped both his hands around Snape’s wrist and laid his head down on the man’s forearm.

    Also, you need to state that Harry has his pants and trousers on during that spanking.

    You need to look at this part too:

    Resisting the urge to rub his smarting behind, Harry trailed reluctantly back towards the site of disaster. There Harry is walking behind Snape but later on it goes "It’s not that simple," Snape growled, still pulling Harry along by the back of his neck. It's a surprise that Harry has been pulled along that way, I thought that Snape let him go. Maybe Snape taking a step back and grabbing Harry by the neck there would fit better? When Snape smacked Harry for talking back at him, it felt a little blank because we were missing Harry's reaction/thoughts/feelings at that time.

    I am really, really glad that you posted this chapter! I don't mind all the little typos and I was very happy to read the story anyway. Thanks so much for sharing!

    I must congradulate you on the awesome title of your story! Adding in the part about Snape getting called was a very nice twist that kept the story more real. I'm really enjoying it!



    Author's Response: Thank you so much. I have fixed the errors. Always appraciate your comments.
Title: Chapter 8 - Cleaning Up 22 Mar 2006 11:50 pm
Reviewer: Achilles (Anonymous) [Report This]

    He did deserve the punishment. And he does act like a two-year-old. Hopefully he'll learn soon to obey. Great chapter. Are you going to show the DE meeting? UPDATE SOON!!!!! 10/10


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