Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Title: Chapter 1 - Floo Me Away 03 Feb 2006 12:31 pm
Reviewer: Minion (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Hurrah!! If only you know how often I wanted to *throttle* that wretched Potter boy, reading the novels. And clobber Dumbledore over the head. Really, what *are* Dumbledore and McGonegal thinking, *rewarding* Harry everytime he breaks school-rules, endangering himself and others? If I was a parent of one of the Hogwarts students, I would've insisted that Harry Potter be expelled, or I would've pulled my kid out of school so fast his little head would spin! Oh, and don't worry about the CP. There is abuse and there is spanking, and those two things are NOT synomious. Arrogant Harry I've-got-to-save-the-world-let's-ignore-everything-the-adults-tell-me Potter could do with a few smacks to the lower part of his back, he sure can :-)
Title: Chapter 1 - Floo Me Away 03 Feb 2006 7:10 am
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]

    Great! :) You have a lot of typos though - you might want to go back over it later sometime or get a beta. Harry said "Snapdragon Alley" when he wanted to Floo to Snapdragon Manor.

    But great chapter, this looks like it will be an awesome story. Keep writing! The pace is very good and you capture good emotions, strong. There are some more things you can do for that (mostly there were a couple of Snape lines without anything around them like dialouge or actions- there was only a line of dialouge and you could have added something else to them to add more of mood/emotions/whatever to the chapter). The only thing I was wondering about was why Snape was telling him to brush his teeth and get into bed without asking if he had any place to go or asking Dumbledore or explaining himself. I think that this is because this is from Harry's pov/perspective. If it were from Snape's pov we probably would have had Snape's reasoning of it. As it is, I think that you need to add some subconcious message to Harry for the readers to read and know of some logical reason why Snape was like that. But I am very glad that he WAS like that- it was great!

    Thanks so much for sharing! Now post more! :)


Disclaimer Charm: Harry Potter and all related works including movie stills belong to J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Bros, and Bloomsbury. Used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made off of this site. All fanfiction and fanart are the property of the individual writers and artists represented on this site and do not represent the views and opinions of the Webmistress.

Powered by eFiction 3.5