Gah! See, I don't think I got this far the first time I read this through... onto new territory now. And cliffies.
This chapter was so horrific! The condition of the Dursleys and Harry's guilt is so well-played. And... it's true that if Harry weren't around, his relatives wouldn't have had this happen to them. That doesn't make it Harry's doing (because it wasn't his intent) but... it certainly does make for a lot of angst...
-K
"...although he did believe he would do better with more information than less."
Do I get ten points?
-K
OCD-Defense-professor was a good idea. I am about to do a 5th-year rewrite and am coming up blank concerning new ways of reworking 'nasty'. In my opinion, Umbridge was pretty much the worst of the worst - you can't get much more evil than that, lack of DE associations or no.
The whole business with Snape is so miserable. I feel awful for Harry, but also bad for Snape...
-K
Hmm. It seems OOC for Malfoy to turn to fisticuffs - I'm thinking of when he swore he was going to duel Harry but really just tricked him into being out at night and sicced Filch on him. It doesn't seem like his style of nasty.
However, if you were looking to show that Malfoy's evilness has stepped up a notch - or that his courage has - or both - you've picked a good way of showing it.
-K
Just the usual comments that I love your story - Harry's dependence on Snape is really sweet and well done, and their misunderstanding here at the end of the chapter is v. good. :)
-K
I love this chapter! Snape is awkward with baby Harry, which is part of what makes it so charming, but he is still willing to comfort him for the rest of the night. Snape isn't leaping to do whatever Harry wants, but is willing to provide what Harry needs when he needs it.
The depicition of the dream was chill-inducing, partially because you go from such a warm, fuzzy scene to one of such horror - it's quite a jolt.
The only thing I'd say is that it was better to get Mrs. Weasley out of the way via Ron's injury than the way you were doing it before - by marginalizing her importance to Harry. In canon, Mrs. Weasley is the closest to a mum that Harry has. It was kind of irritating when you made *her* kind of irritating in order to bring Harry closer to Snape. This is better.
-K
| Title: Number Twelve Grimmauld Place
| 10 Apr 2007 7:47 pm
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| Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
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I always liked the idea of a shade of Sirius haunting Harry... even though it's not the real thing. The only thing I would say about this chapter is that there are a smattering of grammatical and spelling errors throughout, which somewhat detracts from the general awesomeness. ;)
-K
Hi! I realized I've read a lot of this fic and never reviewed it, despite it being on my favorites list. Well - time to remedy that. I've decided to start again from the beginning, since it's been awhile. You know, YLNO inspired me to write my first piece of HP fanfiction, too! ;)
I like Harry's personality so far - he's very canon. And you portray the Dursleys' neglect without going overboard; so many people can't seem to resist playing that for melodrama.
The scene of escape was particularly well-written.
-K
| Title: Trust
| 08 Apr 2007 4:58 am
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| Reviewer: Snape126 (Anonymous)
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Finally an update! I had almost lost all hope that you would continue this story! I loved the chapter and I can't wait to see the future interactions between Snape and Harry. Update soon!
Author's Response: Yep... I don't plan to abandon the fic... but it may need to wait till I'm done with school. It's very hard (for me) to juggle both.
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