Hi! Okay, the story so far:

I really, really liked the pre-Hogwarts parts, and thought that the flow of events was very good. The part with Hagrid and Snape rescuing Harry was cool, as well as the following events with first the deterioration and then the strenghtening of Snape and Harry's relationship. Nape! So cute. All that was excellent. But then once they got to Hogwarts the pacing realllly slowed down and it got more into the conventions of a ton of other fics.

Poor Ron, first a Quidditch accident, then he's attacked on a train. You'd really think by the time he went to Diagon Alley his mother would have a platoon of heavily armed guards around him. You started him off like the typical boorish fic Ron (please, so predictable by now, yawn), but then you made him a bit into Big Brother Ron, which was adorable (plus a lot more original). Hermione was incredibly boring. That's because she was the typical Smart n' Sweet fic Hermione. Everything she's involved in will be predictable, since we know she will never, ever be shown in even a remotely bad light. Her role might be one reason why the story slowed down. It didn't add anything different. It would probably be better in terms of pacing and such to focus on things that are specific to this particular story- what makes it original.

Oh, and I have to give a shoutout to McGonagall's Mary Poppinesque purse and the toy Quidditch game. Fun details. And the stuffed Hedwig, omg!