Nice little twist at the end.
| Title: Chapter 9: Operation
| 15 Oct 2008 1:22 am
|
| Reviewer: Livi (Anonymous)
| [Report This]
|
Oh honey, Severus Snape could never feel outwitted by some cop. Also, beautiful, awful, and useful all have one 'L,' not two. Parenthetical insertions (like this one) look very unprofessional, especially when you address the reader directly in the author's voice, and adoptions are generally covered by some kind of Social Services. A good reference for this would be wikipedia.com, or any adult.
PLEASE get an editor. Your story has potential, but it cannot be realized until you get a second set of eyes on your story.
|