| Title: Chapter 1
| 02 May 2007 7:33 pm
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| Reviewer: Guest (Anonymous)
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A rather exciting first chapter; I like that you lept straight into the action, without a long chapter building up to it, although I must admit that I am partial to a good bit of tension. I love your style of writing, but one thing sort of broke up the fluency for me; on the third paragraph down from the first divider, you state that "Harry laughed besides his bad mood". It might just be me, but that didn't read right. Perhaps "despite his bad mood"? I just thought I'd comment, becuase it seemed quite out of place with the rest of your standard. Yours, a Guest
Nearly drowning in that mud would be so scary! Harry's lucky he was able to call out loud enough that Snape heard. :)
“That’s nice.” he murmured, not caring in the least. I love that line :) Poor Harry... once again he feels like he isn't really wanted. That would be a tough spot to be in. Good Job!
That would be tough to try and pack by running in and out of the closet, hehe. It's crappy to have to go into places that creep you out... and then to be locked in would be so uncool. Anywho, nice job with this chapter!
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