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Reviews For Child's Play
Oh, that part about pretending to be a cat was so cute. I love toddlers at that age, right before they can talk. So sweet, just barely able to pretend - I bet Harry makes a very darling toddler. Great job trying to capture the feeling of Harry looking at the pictures. He remembers some, but again, at that age it is so hard to understand anything adults are saying. Love how Harry thinks of Snape as the batman. "The batman, the batman" - how scary! I really like this story, and I;m looking forward to reading more.
I just thought that I would point out that you are not using th quotation marks right. ' '<<< those are not correct. " " <<< these are. " " << those are usued when someone is speaking and ' ' are usually used in the place of italics to show thinking or they are used with in speach when someone says something that someone else told them to say. Author's Response: I have corrected them in later chapters. Though, I would just like to point out that in all JK Rowling's book she uses single quotation marks and no quotation marks for thoughts. As far as I undesrand it, at least in Britain (maybe America is different) either is acceptable as long as if you use the " " marks you use the ' ' when quoting inside and vice versa.
haha I love how attatched Harry is to Hermione and the "magic book" and how he had no intention of letting them go. Such a precious baby, thinking that. I loved, loved this line: He was frustrated when his words didn’t come out as well as they could have, but then again he did have Cheep-Cheep in his mouth. LOL! That was great. XD And oh man, when Snape demanded Harry take it out and then Harry's reasoning/thinking was that Cheep-Cheep ENJOYED being in his mouth! XD This is too cute! I really like how quick Hermione is to know the name of Harry's special toy already. Nice in-character trait there. I love how Snape's trying so hard to do one thing, in his no-fun manner and Harry's just pretending to be a cat! XD and not interested at all at what Snape wants him to be interested in. You are missing a d here: Why couldn’t he make anyone understand that Cheep-Cheep like it in his mouth and liked playing ‘Cat’ with him? Hehe, I love Snape's attitude. Silly man, I love the way Harry's being so intent on what he wants. I love how he put the stuffed bird down his jumper. Silly baby. I love how he hoped that Snape would cuddle him. I loved the descriptions of Snape from Harry's POV as Snape carried him. I loved this line: the beloved bird which he desperately needed to chew. Haha I guess I loved a lot of things. XD Haha. :) Great, great chapter and really nice ending too. It was sad, but reflectful. Overall I'm really enjoying this story. Beautiful work. :) I think that the only thing I can think of to improve would be more descriptions earlier on. As I was reading I woul find myself curious and wondering what exactly Harry looked like, what he was wearing and other things like that, other people and the surroundings. Iit was a little choppy when Snape had the photo album and it seemed like Hermione hadn't come back yet. I'll assume that the scene change was supposed to be when that happened but I don't think that the story around it lead enough to that conclusion. Fantastic story!
(which took a lot more energy than he would have like seen as Harry seemed determined to cling to him) ‘Come on Potter,’ he said, we haven’t got all day.’
I really like the fact that Draco is behind this and that he is actually in trouble because of it- not in trouble with the teachers but more that he's in trouble trouble, with his father and other people finding out more like a real event and not just a simple straight forward event. I love how willfull Harry is. :) Great spirit. |
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