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Reviews For Eight
The way you keep shifting perspective midway though the story is confusing. It'd be best if you'd pick one perspective and stay with it though the entire story. (or at least through each chapter) If you don't want to do that, then you should let the reader know when you change.
Keep writing, Snarky B. Author's Response: Just a note: I am quite capable of writing run of the mill syntax and grammar. This story flows with the characters. One thing most like about it is the unique writing style I have employed. I realize I have sentence fragments; try cataloging speech for a conversation and see how many times you or your conversation partner speak in complete sentences. (Hint: It won't be that many.) Inner thoughts are even more random; at least in those suffering from PTSD, like Harry. I may, for kicks, post one chapter right here all in one POV with 'normal' syntax and see how many like it better... Anyway, Snarky, thank you for the feedback. However, if my story is that confusing and poorly written, you may want to stop reading it.
Cheers! Lily
And I want to ask a question. Why did Harry always regard Snape as 'My Snape'? What kind of feeling he put in with these two words? Did he feel protected and proud so he regard Snape as HIS protecter. or he used 'my Snape' only because Snape is his guardian and no specail emotion in it? I cannot understand it properly as English isn't my first language. Author's Response: Excellent question! Harry used the term 'my Snape' because he finally felt he had someone who cared for him, to protect him. Such as when children say, "That's my mum," or, "That's my da." You'll notice that when Harry's feeling insecure, like Snape's angry with him, he switches back to Mr. Professor Snape or the Snape man...
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