Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For Eight
Title: Chapter Fifteen 04 Apr 2007 11:43 am
Reviewer: Snarky B. (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Oh, I forgot to mention in my last review….

    The way you keep shifting perspective midway though the story is confusing. It'd be best if you'd pick one perspective and stay with it though the entire story. (or at least through each chapter) If you don't want to do that, then you should let the reader know when you change.
Title: Chapter Fourteen 04 Apr 2007 11:34 am
Reviewer: Snarky B. (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Your story doesn’t 'flow' very smoothly. There are too many disjointed and incomplete sentences. I didn't see much in the way of spelling errors, but your syntax is odd. Your story would be a lot better (and easier to read) if you’d have a beta reader check it over for you. Your story is 'okay' but has the potential to be a lot better.

    Keep writing,
    Snarky B.

    Author's Response:

    Just a note: I am quite capable of writing run of the mill syntax and grammar.  This story flows with the characters.  One thing most like about it is the unique writing style I have employed.  I realize I have sentence fragments; try cataloging speech for a conversation and see how many times you or your conversation partner speak in complete sentences.  (Hint: It won't be that many.)  Inner thoughts are even more random; at least in those suffering from PTSD, like Harry. 

    I may, for kicks, post one chapter right here all in one POV with 'normal' syntax and see how many like it better...

    Anyway, Snarky, thank you for the feedback.  However, if my story is that confusing and poorly written, you may want to stop reading it.

     

    Cheers!

    Lily 

Title: Chapter Sixteen 04 Apr 2007 5:24 am
Reviewer: lee (Anonymous) [Report This]
    I got it. Thank you. How cute little Harry is!
Title: Chapter Sixteen 02 Apr 2007 4:30 pm
Reviewer: lee (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Please update soon! Wish Harry could get that stuffed bear.

    And I want to ask a question. Why did Harry always regard Snape as 'My Snape'? What kind of feeling he put in with these two words? Did he feel protected and proud so he regard Snape as HIS protecter. or he used 'my Snape' only because Snape is his guardian and no specail emotion in it? I cannot understand it properly as English isn't my first language.

    Author's Response: Excellent question!  Harry used the term 'my Snape' because he finally felt he had someone who cared for him, to protect him.  Such as when children say, "That's my mum," or, "That's my da."  You'll notice that when Harry's feeling insecure, like Snape's angry with him, he switches back to Mr. Professor Snape or the Snape man...
Title: Chapter Sixteen 27 Feb 2007 2:27 am
Reviewer: violet (Anonymous) [Report This]
    yay for harry and his snape buying toys! they are so cute, harry is just adorable. and snape is learning well.
Title: Chapter Sixteen 27 Feb 2007 12:55 am
Reviewer: Harriverse (Anonymous) [Report This]
    So Harry's internal dialogue does show how disturbed he is from his life. It's too bad the spy couldn't see what Harry wanted without his having to say anything. Not a very observant spy? And if he was abused as a child, why is he not relating better to Harry? Oh, yeh! He's never been around young children before. Plus he's the nasty potions git who doesn't even like children. I really enjoy your updates.
Title: Chapter Sixteen 26 Feb 2007 7:25 pm
Reviewer: Laume (Anonymous) [Report This]
    *imagines Snape sprinting off to buy all available potions books with Harry trotting behind* awwwwwww!!!
Title: Chapter Sixteen 26 Feb 2007 1:04 pm
Reviewer: Adams Sunshine (Anonymous) [Report This]
    OMG, you have to continue this and SOON. I am so demanding more!
Title: Chapter Sixteen 26 Feb 2007 7:39 am
Reviewer: Banner (Signed) [Report This]
    Oh that was a relief...
Title: Chapter Sixteen 26 Feb 2007 7:17 am
Reviewer: Hilari (Anonymous) [Report This]
    I have to say it again. I adore this story.

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