Title: Chapter Eleven
| 20 Dec 2006 5:33 am
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Reviewer: Ramos (Anonymous)
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I really like this story, but I have to warn you to keep Harry's observations in his age bracket. The descriptive language you used was beautiful, but I doubt that he would be able to come up with "blushing, currant-veined flames" until he was much older. Severus might think that, and it would have been an interesting comparison to have Harry consider the sky colored like the raspberry jam he was never allowed.
Author's Response: I like the idea about raspberry jam. I know Harry's voice is way, way too mature. I've tempered that observation in 2 ways. One - Harry's only escape was to read, you notice that in the early chapters, so his vocabulary would be higher than normal. Also, abused children are infinitely imaginative; I know that from experience. And, yes, even given that the vocab is too high. But I like it that way, and so does Harry. ;)
Lily