Nice start. :) I feel that you need to back and edit it though, or get a beta. There are many things that need to be improved that would turn a prospective reader away. These things will get you fewer readers, fewer reviews, not as positive reviews, and a lower score. Some people won't even finish reading or won't leave a review if the writing quality is not good. They will just give up. Here are some things I noticed which you may want to know about. You can fix them if you want but you also have the option to just leave them if you want.

You have a couple of typo mistakes like a missing period here and there, a couple of things were spelled wrong:

After franticly looking around his room (frantically)

He though as he watched her disappear. (thought)

With that final thought, Harry laid down with his cloths on. (clothes, and I'm not sure you can use "laid" here- I think "laid" is an action you put on another item, like laid the book down, laid an egg.)

You also have some bad tense changes. You can't narrate in the past tense and then throw in a present tense narration:

Going all the way down the hallway and passing Dudley’s room on the way. He sees his cousin sitting on his fat ass facing his computer and watching the telly, (he saw his cousin)

When you do thoughts, you do not need to put them on their own lines, you are supposed to treat thoughts just like dialouge. The only difference is that instead of the double quotation marks you can use something else, like single quotation marks or just italics. You also had some incomplete sentences, and a couple of sentences that need to be thought out a little better:

he spotted his “bed”, which was barely mattress and a blanket that had more holes in it than a football goal lying on the floor. (barely a mattress. Also here the sentence structure has the blanket being "barely" as well, so it's "barely" full of holes and such, which doesn't really make sense.)

When he did finally fell asleep, it was not a peaceful, (peaceful what?)

He took off his glasses and put them down on the floor finally he tried to sleep.

You really, really need to go back and edit this chapter. I know that most of the time old chapters were made when we were much younger and most writers have improved a lot since then. I have no doubt that this is the case with you. :)