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Reviews For A New Chance
Poor Harry, he's so sick! And then Dudley burned him! :( I can't wait until Snape helps heal the burn though.. hopefully. It's really rich coming from vernon that harry's terrorizing his son. But so in character. You did a good job building up the suspense, especially with, "he heard his uncle on the phone, claiming to have a flat tire to explain that he would be late for work" and then Harry's fear. This is kind of awkward phrasing: "When he looked back to his uncle, however, he immediately saw stars and found himself on his knees after his uncle raised the belt in his hand that Harry hadn’t noticed before, and brought it hard and fast across Harry’s face, buckle first." Usually just having an abuse scene with someone doing something for an amount of time isn't something that adds to the story, it actually detracts from it. I think that there's enough horrible things in this chapter to not continue on, but you're the author. :)
I like how this opens with Snape musing on the war and very important things. It gets us into his head but also does a good job showing what timeframe we are actually in. It also builds Snape's character. I liked that he looked around when he entered the Headmaster's office. I really liked this line: "Granted, if you decide not to, we will have to act quickly and seriously in our attempt to sever your connection to him through the mark, lest we find you dead from it.” It's very direct, but realistic (and dramatic for us). Your Dumbledore, to me is a little hidden. I can't tell if he really wants Snape to stop spying becasue he cares about him, or if he's putting on a very good act and doesn't expect, or want Snape to stop spying becasue of the war. It's very intruiging and I hope that I will get to figure it out in later chapters. :) I don't like how many times Dumbledore said "My boy." He said it four or five times. it started to be too noticable.
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