I really, really like your openings, both with Harry and Snape. I enjoyed howyou opened with Harry on the train with his friends, there was a sort of movement feeling with it, and it wasn't just the train. :) Same with Snape, very moving, like things are changing, maybe, or they're rushing. I really like that Snape turned Vernon into a pig. XD You did a good job jerking Snape, and us, from his usual frame of mind when he kicked the pig, into the shocked frame of mind when he saw Harry. I liked how you mentioned that Harry had grubby checks. Good way to end the chapter too. :)

I did notice this: Harry nodded, even though inwardly he knew that he would never follow through on that promise” (should be a period.)

Oh, I think I edited your story notes to change Snape/Harry to Snape and Harry. I didn't realize until after I sent the letter out and came back to read it, sorry about that.